I'm aiming for 59kg

AHello, hope you are okay x

I have just started reading confessions of an Atheist Buddhist, and it seems good so far. I can certainly see why you liked it so much. The man who wrote it has the same need to keep moving and travelling as you do. The only reference so far to the Buddhas teaching is that "Life is suffering", which I am not sure I totally agree with, but maybe it will be elaborated upon further into the book.
 
Hi Ruth. Yes I am doing really well. I will drop by your page in a tic. I am glad you are enjoying this book. It probably doesn't tell you a lot about the buddha's life but one excellent book i've just read which does and makes it all sound so compelling is The End of Suffering by Pankaj Mishra. His chapter on the buddha's enlightenment was so clear that is has really inspired me to become as buddhist as i can. I do have trouble with some of the concepts -understanding them and accepting them but these are metaphysics and Buddhism is fundamentally a practical religion rather than theoretical - even for the buddha i believe.


I don't think that book you are reading will elaborate on that point so much. But essentially what it means is that there is a lot of pain in life and it is caused by our desires and grasping. I don't have any difficult with this concept. One psychologist writer has just explained it in terms of how it all starts when we are babies and out attachment to our mothers. So the psychologists agree with the buddha. The idea is that we want things - people, sex, food, stuff. And when we get it it is never quite as satisfactory as we had thought. And then apart from that little letdown, it ends. We lose the things we love and the food is eaten, the stuff leaves us feeling empty. Our desire for thing is insatiable. We are never satisfied. It can also be grasping after admiration, fame, praise and status. The solution is to let go our desire, our attachment. I've just read that the key is not in letting go of the things but letting go of our desire. I've done this a couple of times and it really does leave you feeling better. For instance not long - before i started getting into his buddha thing, i decided i wasn't going to bother hoping to find a partner anymore. And all of a sudden my life has lost this feeling of loneliness and sadness on that score. I am now happy to be on my own. It doesn't mean that i have to avoid a relationship if one were to show up. But it does mean i can stop being lonely.


There is a great deal of practical wisdom in buddhism.


I came on to write a post so i will start another one.
 
My weight seems to have settled in the low 60s where its been bouncing around a bit depending on how i'm feeling. Despite the increase dose of meds, i didn't stop wanting to eat all the time. But since i have got more into my buddhism reading and started meditating my appetite has settled right down. The thing is i've started to commit to becoming a buddhist or at least following a buddhist lifestyle and practices that its sorted me out. Its possible that this could be a short-lived reprieve but i am hoping i can maintain the enthusiasm for it by putting certain things into effect. But it remains to be seen. What i'm eating now is: an apple for breakfast, 1 cup rice, a boiled egg and some salad vegies for lunch; if i get hungry in the afternoon, another piece of fruit; dinner is something like 1 cup rice, 1 cup beans/dal or similar or a pasta and tomato sauce combo with cheese. sometimes i have a glass of wine. Through the day in my coffee i've got milk - about 2 cups overall i think.


The core beliefs of buddhism are the Four Noble Truths





The Four NOble Truths

The first is that the unenlightened life most of us lead, has an unsatisfactory quality about it and is full of suffering. The second is that the cause of this suffering is desire or thirst. Our desires lead us to long for things we do not have and to become attached to things we do have which sooner or later we always lose. The third truth is that the cause of suffering may be ended. When we stop our clinging, we end suffering and enter the only unconditioned, uncaused state: nirvana. The final truth is the means by which suffering can be ended, that is, the eightfold path involving ethical behaviour, meditation, and wisdom.



The buddha arrived at his conclusions after spending years following a hard punishing ascetic lifestyle which was typical of people searching for spiritual achievement in his own time which was 5th century BC. He called his path the Middle Way which was a path that is not easy life of a householder full of desires or the punishing lifestyle of the ascetics who lived in the forests and almost killed themselves with their excesses. His way is more moderate but still by our standards its quite austere if you really want to reach Enlightenment or the end of Suffering altogether which is what he proposed for his monks. But for lay people they could still benefit and find more happiness in their lives by following the 8fold path to a moderate degree. Here is the Eightfold Path

The Eightfold Path - is the path to Enlightenment.

From the forum website



Wisdom

1. Right View

2. Right Intention

3. Right Speech

Ethical Conduct

4. Right Action

5. Right Livelihood

6. Right Effort

Mental Development

7. Right Mindfulness

Right Concentration



The Noble Eightfold Path describes the way to the end of suffering, as it was laid out by Siddhartha Gautama. It is a practical guideline to ethical and mental development with the goal of freeing the individual from attachments and delusions; and it finally leads to understanding the truth about all things. Together with the Four Noble Truths it constitutes the gist of Buddhism. Great emphasis is put on the practical aspect, because it is only through practice that one can attain a higher level of existence and finally reach Nirvana. The eight aspects of the path are not to be understood as a sequence of single steps, instead they are highly interdependent principles that have to be seen in relationship with each other.

1. Right View

Right view is the beginning and the end of the path, it simply means to see and to understand things as they really are and to realise the Four Noble Truths. As such, right view is the cognitive aspect of wisdom. It means to see things through [or to see through things?], to grasp the impermanent and imperfect nature of worldly objects and ideas, and to understand the law of karma and karmic conditioning. Right view is not necessarily an intellectual capacity, just as wisdom is not just a matter of intelligence. Instead, right view is attained, sustained, and enhanced through all capacities of mind. It begins with the intuitive insight that all beings are subject to suffering and it ends with complete understanding of the true nature of all things. Since our view of the world forms our thoughts and our actions, right view yields right thoughts and right actions.

2. Right Intention

While right view refers to the cognitive aspect of wisdom, right intention refers to the volitional aspect, i.e. the kind of mental energy that controls our actions. Right intention can be described best as commitment to ethical and mental self-improvement. Buddha distinguishes three types of right intentions: 1. the intention of renunciation, which means resistance to the pull of desire, 2. the intention of good will, meaning resistance to feelings of anger and aversion, and 3. the intention of harmlessness, meaning not to think or act cruelly, violently, or aggressively, and to develop compassion.

3. Right Speech

Right speech is the first principle of ethical conduct in the eightfold path. Ethical conduct is viewed as a guideline to moral discipline, which supports the other principles of the path. This aspect is not self-sufficient, however, essential, because mental purification can only be achieved through the cultivation of ethical conduct. The importance of speech in the context of Buddhist ethics is obvious: words can break or save lives, make enemies or friends, start war or create peace. Buddha explained right speech as follows: 1. to abstain from false speech, especially not to tell deliberate lies and not to speak deceitfully, 2. to abstain from slanderous speech and not to use words maliciously against others, 3. to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others, and 4. to abstain from idle chatter that lacks purpose or depth. Positively phrased, this means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary.

4. Right Action

The second ethical principle, right action, involves the body as natural means of expression, as it refers to deeds that involve bodily actions. Unwholesome actions lead to unsound states of mind, while wholesome actions lead to sound states of mind. Again, the principle is explained in terms of abstinence: right action means 1. to abstain from harming sentient beings, especially to abstain from taking life (including suicide) and doing harm intentionally or delinquently, 2. to abstain from taking what is not given, which includes stealing, robbery, fraud, deceitfulness, and dishonesty, and 3. to abstain from sexual misconduct. Positively formulated, right action means to act kindly and compassionately, to be honest, to respect the belongings of others, and to keep sexual relationships harmless to others. Further details regarding the concrete meaning of right action can be found in the Precepts.

5. Right Livelihood

Right livelihood means that one should earn one's living in a righteous way and that wealth should be gained legally and peacefully. The Buddha mentions four specific activities that harm other beings and that one should avoid for this reason: 1. dealing in weapons, 2. dealing in living beings (including raising animals for slaughter as well as slave trade and prostitution), 3. working in meat production and butchery, and 4. selling intoxicants and poisons, such as alcohol and drugs. Furthermore any other occupation that would violate the principles of right speech and right action should be avoided.

6. Right Effort

Right effort can be seen as a prerequisite for the other principles of the path. Without effort, which is in itself an act of will, nothing can be achieved, whereas misguided effort distracts the mind from its task, and confusion will be the consequence. Mental energy is the force behind right effort; it can occur in either wholesome or unwholesome states. The same type of energy that fuels desire, envy, aggression, and violence can on the other side fuel self-discipline, honesty, benevolence, and kindness. Right effort is detailed in four types of endeavours that rank in ascending order of perfection: 1. to prevent the arising of unarisen unwholesome states, 2. to abandon unwholesome states that have already arisen, 3. to arouse wholesome states that have not yet arisen, and 4. to maintain and perfect wholesome states already arisen.

7. Right Mindfulness

Right mindfulness is the controlled and perfected faculty of cognition. It is the mental ability to see things as they are, with clear consciousness. Usually, the cognitive process begins with an impression induced by perception, or by a thought, but then it does not stay with the mere impression. Instead, we almost always conceptualise sense impressions and thoughts immediately. We interpret them and set them in relation to other thoughts and experiences, which naturally go beyond the facticity of the original impression. The mind then posits concepts, joins concepts into constructs, and weaves those constructs into complex interpretative schemes. All this happens only half consciously, and as a result we often see things obscured. Right mindfulness is anchored in clear perception and it penetrates impressions without getting carried away. Right mindfulness enables us to be aware of the process of conceptualisation in a way that we actively observe and control the way our thoughts go. Buddha accounted for this as the four foundations of mindfulness: 1. contemplation of the body, 2. contemplation of feeling (repulsive, attractive, or neutral), 3. contemplation of the state of mind, and 4. contemplation of the phenomena.

8. Right Concentration

The eighth principle of the path, right concentration, refers to the development of a mental force that occurs in natural consciousness, although at a relatively low level of intensity, namely concentration. Concentration in this context is described as one-pointedness of mind, meaning a state where all mental faculties are unified and directed onto one particular object. Right concentration for the purpose of the eightfold path means wholesome concentration, i.e. concentration on wholesome thoughts and actions. The Buddhist method of choice to develop right concentration is through the practice of meditation. The meditating mind focuses on a selected object. It first directs itself onto it, then sustains concentration, and finally intensifies concentration step by step. Through this practice it becomes natural to apply elevated levels concentration also in everyday situations.
 
I know that some of the terms used might no be clear for anyone reading this who isn't familiar with buddhism but if one were to start reading about it, things would pretty soon become more clear.


Anyhow, i wasn't going to preach when i came to write today. I was just going to share my progress and tell that i have been getting my motivation from my buddhist reading and meditation.


I am still not doing a lot of activity at this stage but here are some changes i've made.

1. I am cutting back on my internet usage.

2. I am eating less and more simple food again.

3. I am still getting up fairly early and not watching much tv so that i can continue enjoying my reading.

4. I am meditating at least once a day. I started off doing 20 minutes without an alarm clock but now i am doing 1 hour in the middle of the day and trying to do a short session in the morning of 15 minutes and a longer session of 30 minutes in the evening.

5. I am still going to the buddhist centre and am keen to find other buddhist centres if they exist because i haven't found the right one for me yet but i am happy to be going somewhere for group meditation once a week and connecting with other meditators.


The key things i am trying to get out of this for myself are:

to develop EQUANIMITY which is a lovely word and concept. It means being calm and moderated at all times. I sometimes have problems with anger and i am sick of it so i am trying to use buddhism to be able to let go of my anger. Therapy helped a lot but i need something of a different kind now.


Also i want help with my motivation which is a lifelong problem. I feel the meditation is helping me.


So i've been reading a lot of books mostly having a few on the go at the same time. Though its not a brilliant book in itself, this book helped me get the big picture and bring buddhism into the 21st century for me. The New Buddhism by William James Coleman so if anyone thinks of purusing buddhism themselves, it might be helpful to get hold of this book so that you don't get confused by all the different strands of buddhism and the changes that have arrived in the West. This book is a history of buddhism and then talks aobut how its adapted to suit western times and people.


For an excellent biography of the Buddha, read Karen Armstrong BUDDHA. I feel its imperative to read a biography of the buddha when you are starting out so that you don't get bogged down in a lot of esoteric concepts prematurely which could put you off. I alos have really enjoyed Pankaj Mishra's biography which is a bit more than a biography. His chapter on the buddha's Enlightenment was so good it really inspired me. I Have found lots of other lovelybooks too.


For meditation i am using one which is well reviewed and actually great called Meditation in Plain English by a sri Lankan guy who's name is impossible to remember.


Anything by Thich Naht Than (might be slightly different name) a vietnamese monk seems to be highly recommended also. He is a zen monk . I've got a small book of his at the moment about mindfulness and its really lovely so i also recommend that. If you are going to start meditating, its important to get a good book. I've done it in the past with different sort of books and they helped but i eventually got bored. Now because i am more focussed on the bigger picture of the EIGHTFOLD PATH, i feel more committed to meditation. I think meditation for relaxation is good but its very limited.


Basically there are 3 types of buddhism. Theravada which comes from thailand, sri lanka and burma, Zen which is from Japan, China, Vietnam, and then Tibettan Buddhism. I am least attracted to tibettan buddhism though i am a) attending a tibettan buddhist centre and b) it has the strength of putting an emphasis on developing compassion which is very important in buddhism. Zen is quite aesthetic and Theravada is relatively austere. This last one has the focus on personal development most while tibettan buddhism is focussed more outwards on others. I am not quite sure where zen sits in that binary. I hope to create a practice which uses the best things of all three.


My life is fairly simple but i hope to simplify it even more. And i especially want to achieve EQUANIMITY. The hardest part for me will be to find a way to help others but if i were to talke up formal buddhist studies and become a nun for instance, then it would be a duty to teach and disseminate buddhism. I would like to bring buddhist practices to people suffering from mental illness. One thing i thought to do would be to give talks to mental health practitioners so that they could be encouraged to bring some of it into their practices. But that's all jumping way ahead. I am a long from anything like that.


But in hte meantime, i can share what i've learnt with people i meet on forums. However, i don't want to spend a lot of time on forums. I need first to develop my own practice before i get too invovled in trying to save other people. :D
 
AThank you for posting that :)

I think that if everybody in the world were to follow the eightfold path, then everybody would be at peace with each other. I would like to actually follow the path, rather than just agreeing with it though! I think that meditation would definitely help with that. It really makes me want to become a better person. I would love to live life on a more even keel rather than having constant ups and downs. I don't think I could ever become a proper Buddhist, because of the vegetarianism and no alcohol, but I am going to read some of those books that you suggested (think the Buddha's bio will be the next one), and I am going to follow the principles. Some inner peace would be nice.

I still haven't read any more of that book yet because I've been rushed off my feet, but I'm looking forwards to settling down with it tomorrow night.

How often are you going to the Buddhist centre? Its a shame the closest one too you is a Tibetian one. But at least there is one fairly nearby.
 
Originally Posted by overtherainbow

Thank you for posting that

I think that if everybody in the world were to follow the eightfold path, then everybody would be at peace with each other. I would like to actually follow the path, rather than just agreeing with it though! I think that meditation would definitely help with that. It really makes me want to become a better person. I would love to live life on a more even keel rather than having constant ups and downs. I don't think I could ever become a proper Buddhist, because of the vegetarianism and no alcohol, but I am going to read some of those books that you suggested (think the Buddha's bio will be the next one), and I am going to follow the principles. Some inner peace would be nice.

I still haven't read any more of that book yet because I've been rushed off my feet, but I'm looking forwards to settling down with it tomorrow night.

How often are you going to the Buddhist centre? Its a shame the closest one too you is a Tibetian one. But at least there is one fairly nearby.


Yeah I love the eightfold path. I think it makes so much sense. I am trying to follow it but it will take time to get my head around all of it. It is through practice that one can evolve so i am practicing.


See if you can find some books in the library to read too. YOu shouldn't have to buy them all. Though i definitely want to keep some of the things i'm reading. I even want to read Confession again already. Cause now i know so much more than i knew when i read it only a few weeks ago.


I don't know that i will become a proper buddhist either but even a halfway proper buddhist can improve their life. I think every little bit would count.


I am going to hte buddhist centre once a week though they have two sessions. Its an hours drive each way for me so once a week is enough given the cost of petrol. I am going to a centre to help me keep focussed on my meditation practice and 8fold pathway.


good luck on your journey too.
 
Just popping in briefly to update. I don't know what my weight is today but its still reasonable. I am doing ok with food. A few slipups but generally not overeating. I'll go and hop on the scales now...63.4 with clothes on and after morning coffee.


I am not doing any exercise still but i would like to get back to that eventually. Really.


Buddhism is still helping me. I am doing quite a bit of mediation 2-3 sessions of about 30 minute a day. I am still reading. I just put in a big book order. If anyone wants book recommendations i can tell you some good ones.


I especially love my book Mindfulness in Plain English (authors name is foreign) Its the most practically little handbook to meditation.


Everything else is going fine.
 
I'm trying again. Do'nt know if i can be bothered to keep a good food blog but i am watching what i eat. I am still well within the healthy weight range however, i just don't like my wabbly legs and tummy not to mention. what my backside is doing. Clothes just do not look that good on me when i am carrying any flab at all. I am not one of thoes people who can carry weight well. I think to do that you either have to be in good proportion or have a nice face.
 
Just popping in to say hi and update.


My weight has been going up and it recently got almost back to where it was when i started on this diary. which was 69kg.


The reason is depression and emotional issues i guess. I"ve had a few little crisis to deal with. But now i am back on track again. I am happy and losing weight by eating well.


I am not following my diet strictly as before. I don't need to. But i am eating only about two meals a day, coffee when i want it, fruit in between if i need it. I'm not cooking elaborate meals. Mainly jsut spaghetti with a vegetable or two in it, olive oil and parmesan cheese. Breakfast is as before - oats and fruit and milk.


My buddhism practice is developing and it has helped me get motivated and get back on the right track. I had a few weeks where i would go along to the sunday night meditation and come away feeling bad because i talk too much. The other week i went a bit nuts. But i had also asked my teacher to give me some texts to read and i've been studying those. Understanding the buddha's teachings really well is helping me get motivated to deal with everything the best way i can according to buddhist ideals.


Buddhism is very much about doing away with greed, hatred and delusion (where delusion means any sort of fantasies whether sick or as basic as imagining you'll win lotto).

Buddhism is very much about letting go and not grasping or clinging or desiring things to the point where it upsets you.

Buddhism is about living a life of loving kindness and compassion which means wanting others to be happy and not wanting others to suffer. So one must not cause suffering.
 
AxxxHugsxxx I'm really glad that studying and practicising Buddhism is helping you get into a mentally better state. If you are depressed you sort of retreat into yourself, and stop caring about things like food as much... Are you still meditating? I admire you for trying so hard to follow the eightfold path- although I recognise that that is the best way to live I don't think I would have it in me!

How are things going with your sister and brother in law? Have you been doing a lot of cycling? x
 
Originally Posted by overtherainbow

xxxHugsxxx I'm really glad that studying and practicising Buddhism is helping you get into a mentally better state. If you are depressed you sort of retreat into yourself, and stop caring about things like food as much... Are you still meditating? I admire you for trying so hard to follow the eightfold path- although I recognise that that is the best way to live I don't think I would have it in me!
How are things going with your sister and brother in law? Have you been doing a lot of cycling? x


Yes i'm still meditating. For a while i was trying to do it 3 times a day but that got me in a bind because it interfered with my other things and i ended up feeling bad for not doing it. My current regime is much better. The only reason i am making progress now i think is because i am going along to the buddhist centre and continuing to read and study to develop my knowledge. With more knowledge my commitment has increased.


No cycling but planning a little bit in January. I am going away on a 10 day retreat and will take my bike so that when its over i can ride over to my friends place which is about 150km away. Its in another part of the state.


I think that after a little while, following the eightfold path won't be hard at all. The main thing i've come to understand is to be detached from everything. Not to be emotionally dead but not to get attached. To be able to let things go. Everything. if you are hungry, you can learn to let that go, if its between meals. If someone says something annoying, you can let htat go and not get bothered by it. You can let go of your boyfriend so that you don't NEED him as such but while you love him, you can keep him around. Even your kids. You love them of course in an unconditional way but not in a needing way. You don't need anything from them, you just do what they need from you. Its your job. If you have a headache, you can let go the pain. INstead of thinking about it constantly which exacerbates the pain, you can focus on yoru breath instead. This helps you deal with hte pain better. The whole of life can be like that. Then you will be happier.


With my sister not long ago i got in a tiz about how she might create an argument when she comes. But then i remember hte loving kindness thingy of buddhism. I decided to think about everyone individually wiht loving kindness and then i was able to stop worrying about her and to stop thinking negatively about her and what might happen.


Its really all just about learning to think differently about everything. Then the way you live just follows.


No problems wiht my bil lately, nor my dad. I had a bit of a problem with the neighbour but that's sorted now. For a little while i thought i was going to end up homeless again. Long story. ...
 
Hi 44 =)


How are you? Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope everything is going well. I really enjoy reading your diary.


Let us know how things are going with you if you stop by. I hope your bike retreat went well!


Cheers,


Splint.
 
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