I do see where you're coming from (believe me, I know about not being able to stop) but I perhaps wonder if you're pushing the analogy between cigarettes and sweet food too far. Sweet food can be part of a balanced diet- the best amount of cigarettes is none (fortunately for me I was put off the idea of smoking at a very early age by a health program that went around primary schools- Healthy Harold, if you know about it. My impressionable 8 year old self was rather frightened by the idea that at least some cigarettes have paint stripper in them for flavour, and so I've never even been tempted). Unfortunately, food is and (I think) will continue to be an integral part of a lot of social gatherings, and so it's a major hurdle to overcome.
Are your family willing to support you, say by only offering small portions of the things you have trouble with, and withholding things from you if you try to have more? It'd just seem a shame not to be able to participate. (It probably seems like a silly thing to do as an adult, but I've asked my boyfriend to do it for me and it's worked)
In my case, the things I'm skipping very much involve food- the graduate student lunch (cheese, white bread, juice- calorie central), drinks and crackers after seminars (calorie central), meal after seminar (at best, in a cafe, at worst- and normally- in a curry house), so I'm not sure how to get around that. I'm sure I'd be seen as a party pooper if I packed my own food or skipped the alcohol.
I'm very conscious of the stigma of being different, and I think for me it's going to be a problem with my diet- most people (especially at my age, and in a university setting) just don't care about diet. They can eat and eat and eat and then drink and drink and drink and not seem to put on any weight at all. So they have a go at me for "starving myself" or "not participating" (although I bet if I did what they did I'd balloon and then I'd get crap for "not looking after myself"!)- it's hard already, and it's only early days. (My other problem is I "carry weight well", apparently- people keep telling me I don't need to lose weight, but the scales don't lie, my BMI doesn't lie, and my feelings of wellbeing don't lie. I don't look like I've put on weight until probably just above what I am now- then people really notice a big difference)
Are your family willing to support you, say by only offering small portions of the things you have trouble with, and withholding things from you if you try to have more? It'd just seem a shame not to be able to participate. (It probably seems like a silly thing to do as an adult, but I've asked my boyfriend to do it for me and it's worked)
In my case, the things I'm skipping very much involve food- the graduate student lunch (cheese, white bread, juice- calorie central), drinks and crackers after seminars (calorie central), meal after seminar (at best, in a cafe, at worst- and normally- in a curry house), so I'm not sure how to get around that. I'm sure I'd be seen as a party pooper if I packed my own food or skipped the alcohol.
I'm very conscious of the stigma of being different, and I think for me it's going to be a problem with my diet- most people (especially at my age, and in a university setting) just don't care about diet. They can eat and eat and eat and then drink and drink and drink and not seem to put on any weight at all. So they have a go at me for "starving myself" or "not participating" (although I bet if I did what they did I'd balloon and then I'd get crap for "not looking after myself"!)- it's hard already, and it's only early days. (My other problem is I "carry weight well", apparently- people keep telling me I don't need to lose weight, but the scales don't lie, my BMI doesn't lie, and my feelings of wellbeing don't lie. I don't look like I've put on weight until probably just above what I am now- then people really notice a big difference)

I could probably do without the nuts, but I make sure I have some sort of 'fat'.