"I'll start tomorrow" - This time, for real.

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xRougex

New member
Some of you MUST have felt like I do right now. You stuff yourself full of chocolate, fast food and CRAP, promising that tomorrow will be the day that changes your life. Well, I've been saying that everyday for the last year. I've always wanted to be that fit and healthy woman, that can wear shorts, tops that show off my arms and walk down the street without my inner thighs rubbing :( The only time I ever experienced that was when I was really ill and lost a lot of weight, even still, it lasted only a few days. Being unemployed has turned me into a lazy fat ass that consumes huge portions to fill her time and the big black hole of depression. I'm miserable so I'm fat, but the fat is making me miserable *sighs*. I don't have any support at home (my family is busy and fat. They don't have time for themselves let alone the fat, umemployed and useless me) and my one friend has an eating disorder and constantly calls me skinny. :S I swear she just wants me fatter than her to make her feel better. I weigh 13stone at 5'6" tall. I want to be between 9-10stone, anything in that bracket is just fine for me. My mother is severely over weight. She is a motivation for me because I would love to prove by example that it CAN be done. I don't want her health to deteriorate and she had me when she was very young and has been fat ever since. I feel responsible and if somehow I can help her lose weight I know she would be so so so happy. Our dogs are fat too. And someone made a comment about "like dog, like owner" which was really hurtful. For their sake I will be doing my best to take over their feeding and and exercising. I have my dogs to help me lmao and it is appalling that they really reflect us, but I know children can also reflect their parents. I mean, how have some of you done it? Y'know, been really depressed and there isn't a future in sight. I mean, I will be trying tomorrow, but I don't feel it in my heart you know. it's just sad I have no one I can connect to.
Anyway my plan for tomorrow as a start:
* To get up before lunch so I can experience a breakfast AND a healthy one.
* Go for a nice long walk with the dogs.
* Tidy my hovel of a room: I gotta clean this s***hole so I feel better and have room to do an exercise dvd I secretly bought the other day.
Sorry for the long rant. It's the start of what I hope to be a successful journey. Even if no one responds I'll keep it updated as a promise to myself. I will do this, I have to.
 
People WILL respond, don't you worry! I have only recently joined this site but I've already gotten a lot of motivation from everyone. A month ago I was struggling as a new runner and ignoring my terrible eating habits, and today I went for a 3.6 mile run and came home and weighed out my servings for dinner so I could add up the calories. And you know what? I don't find it to be a chore. I also wore shorts on Saturday in public for the first time in maybe 6 years. I don’t even think I look any different, but the confidence is coming back either way. My advice to you is (A) Start out slow, that way it’s a lifestyle change and not a diet. Find little ways to cut back on sugar or carbs, or exercise more and suddenly it will just be habit. And (B) Find the support you need here! Use us for advice, motivation, venting, whatever. We’ll be here to listen.

Good luck! Looking forward to reading your updates!
 
Oh I can totally relate to the 'I'll start tomorrow' thing. Took being over 18 stone before I finally snapped, unfortunately since I now have so much to lose!
You CAN do it, and I'll be keeping up with your posts. I can't say that losing weight's going to be like a ray of sunshine that fixes everything but, for me even though I'm still huge and have a long way to go proving to myself that I can lose weight has been so important. I just didn't think I could, I thought I was just a lazy slob.
You aren't responsible for your mum being overweight at all. However you might be right that if you can do it then your example could help her. In my opinion, you need to do it for yourself first and foremost, to make you feel healthier and better about yourself and your prospects. If you can, talk to her about it and if she wants to lose weight then that's great.
I totally agree with what Laura F said, make it a lifestyle change not a diet. I've still got a long way to go but slowly I can feel my attitudes towards food and exercise changing, and that's helping my confidence too.
 
Thanks for your responses they mean a lot, they really do! It's the first time I've let loose about all of this >< I think you're right about the whole lifestyle change. I feel totally out of control. But the least I can do is look after myself and control my binge eating habits. Oh if it was only so easy. The hours are dawning near I should really get some kip. Today is the day!!!!! No more excuses no more false promises!
p.s. my cat is going nuts. Puts a smile on my face I just wish I could be so food picky as her rofl.
 
Just wanted to add: I would like to go running, I envision myself doing it at some point. The thought of doing any jiggly bouncy exercise in public makes me go red at the thought. Although I'll try this dvd I think I need to get my big butt some sunshine! Or moonshine, at first lol.
 
OK so today didn't go as well I would have liked. I managed to sleep through two alarm clocks SO much for a breakfast lol. I really need to figure something out, the only time I could get up with an alarm was when I had work. Now I have no reason I find I am at the mercy of my body rather than my desire. *sigh*. Well I have had a small bowl of shepherds pie and a big big glass of water. (My problem is portion size tbh, if I love a food I can eat a BUCKET load). I feel full now and will see how long that lasts. I have started on getting my room sorted. I need a bit of self pamper, I read somewhere if you make effort (like shaving, eyebrows, painting nails etc) that you will a little bit more motivated to keep it that way. I will be walking the dogs at 5.30pm and before I go bed. I will also make an effort to moisturise before I sleep coz I have stretchmarks over my body from where I put on weight and it's a bit of an incentive to start the process now because I WILL BE LOSING WEIGHT DEFINATELY THIS TIME. I will take things slowly these next two weeks, coz every other time I have tried to lose weight or make drastic lifestyle changes I have just crashed and burned. Will update tonight to make sure I've done my duties. Feeling positive atm depsite my not-so-desired start to the day. :)
 
Trying to get up early-ish is probably a good idea I guess because then you move around more during the day, but I wouldn't sweat too much about not having breakfast so long as you're not stuffing your face later as a result. I really don't get hungry until about midday whether I've been up since 7 or just rolled out of bed! You will get used to smaller portions, just in the same way you're used to bigger ones now. I can still eat way more than I should sometimes but I never used to feel full, now I physically can't manage to eat as much as I used to sometimes.
Ugh I have stretch marks too and I hate it. I'm young I've never been pregnant, I should be stretch mark free :-( I've been using bio oil but not really for long enough to tell if it works yet.
I think you've gotten off to a good start, if you're feeling more positive then that's wonderful. I wish I had a doggy to walk!
 
Hehe yeah the dogs make good motivation, especially when they give me the puppy eyes and all stand around me quite obviously asking to be taken out (we have 4 rescue dogs). I would love to leap headfirst into my ideal regime so its really hard to go slow - only because I know the former attempts have failed. Yeah I do wanna get up early, I would love to get up a dawn and walk the dogs even to hear the birdies sing! I have been snacking on grapes and bananas when I get my humassively strong addictive like urges for chocolate (urgh! It's an addiction I swear!) I got to admit without work I find it hard to tell the difference between real hunger or boredom based hunger. hmmmm. Anyway tomorrow I can do even better fingers crossed! Thanks for the replies, it means a lot to have people I can connect to for once! :)
**I'm using coco butter for the marks, my mothers friends used them during their pregnancies and I swear they have no stretch marks :O. Only time can tell. I'll take some proper measurements and weight tomorrow.
 
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Well it's 3am rofl and I'm still awake. I can't continue like this but I'm just not tired and I can't sleep well. I shall make my 2nd attempt at lets say 10am and move more like you said, I need to wear myself out coz being up late like this makes me bored and boredom makes me hungry grrrrr. Brushing my teeth though has stopped me from taking a trip to the fridge so thats interesting. I might get my rusty ol' bike out, might not be so embarrassed on that compared to running. Reading everyone's forums and those that are working out make me wanna go for a run now lol! meh, guess its bed for me. Round 2 here I come! :)
 
One of my favorite quotes is "Strive to be just a little more disciplined today than you were yesterday." And another one I enjoy is "The pain of change is much less than the pain of staying in mediocrity." Basically, little steps at a time, and even though it might suck for a little while it will be better in the long run! I can't say I feel graceful when I run my slow-paced few miles, but once you are actually out there doing it, you're just proud of what you're accomplishing and less concerned with what other people think. I've always admired runners regardless of what they looked like, and now when I am on the other end of things, I imagine everyone admiring me. :) And who cares if it's true or not, really, I can let myself have that positive feeling whether they are or they aren't. I'm never going to know the difference! Boredom based hunger is awful, I have found it so hard to avoid but replacement snacks are the best way for me to go right now. Tonight I was watching a class (I do grad school online) and instead of the Ben & Jerry's I had a bowl of Special K. Not quite the same, but I feel better right now for it!
 
i think your plan sounds wonderful! wake up early for a good and healthy breakfast, clean your room to have peace and exercise space, walk the dog/s -- keep them healthy as well =) and most important of all, be the GOOD example to your family. aside from exercising in your room, you can also try different exercises outdoors. is there a park near you? improvise with benches/steps, simple machines you'll find in parks -- this way you won't get bored with your room and video. stay focused! you are doing the right thing!!! ^_^

keep us posted!
 
I have to say that the title of your diary struck a chord in me. I've been singing that tune for a while now! I'm with you on getting up and out of the house and just moving more. My doggies aren't fat (I have one who chases my horses for hours) but they keep me motivated to go out and bring them on walks to keep me moving. Animals are great motivators. (Can we go for a walk now? Canwecanwecanwecanwecanwecanwe??? lol)

Also I saw that you said your mother is overweight and that you want to be an example to her. I am in the same situation. Recently my mom has been losing weight and becoming more self confident, and I would love to keep her motivated by losing weight myself.

Keep up the good work, and you'll be at your goal weight in no time!
 
Eating fruit instead of chocolate is such a good start, and hopefully if you keep doing that it'll feel like a natural thing to do (don't get me wrong I do that and I still crave chocolate way too much, dairy milk feels like a long lost friend to me now haha.)
I really struggle with sensible sleep patterns and having a structured day too, and consequently also with boredom eating. For me the more I've managed to resist it the easier it gets to resist, but it's still hard. Have you been out of work for a while? I could only get like 2 weeks out of 4 months this summer, ehh.
You're doing great :)
 
Just like the others are saying....start slow and keep it enjoyable. Cut out simple fattening that are easily tracked and add healthy stuff that you like. And drink water like a fish! :)

And if your serious about wanting to run, start by walking, and build on that with time and distance.

Try to keep track, (even post) what you eat. I know alot of people who are more honest with strangers than themselves....posting your food log on here will help keep you straight on target.

Love your attitude,

Good luck!
 
Hey welcome to the forum! I love your posts so far and I really believe this is the time for real!! Cleaning your room is a great start - even that alone will feel liberating. If you mess up at one meal or snack don't use it as an excuse to stuff your face the rest of the day - this is one of my downfalls! Start again at the next meal or snack and it will make keeping it up the next day that much easier. I also find if I exercise in the morning I'm better at making good choices all day. Lots of water is really important too. If you are not used to drinking lots of water you will notice the first week you have to pee an extreme amount but it won't always be that way.
That's great that you bought an exercise dvd and it shouldn't be a secret. You shouldn't feel like what you are doing is wrong in anyway or needs to be kept from people. Stand behind what you believe in and what you are doing and be proud of getting healthy! You should be screaming it out loud that you are making a change for YOU and others will want to jump on board!!! Looking forward to reading more! Keep it up, your off to a great start!!
 
Hi Rougex just thought I would pop by and say hey. Your doing great girl. Congratulations on making such a big decision to start your weight loss journey. Its hard starting off, I'm only starting myself, but we will do it, and when you have so much encouragement from everyone here, it makes it a whole lot easier and more bearable. Its great to go in to your blog and see new messages of encouragement. Even a little bit of exercise is better than none, and its amazing how quickly your fitness will increase each day. I have chronic asthma, and yet, since I started losing the weight, I can breathe a little easier. Okay I'm really pushing myself, which means I have to use my inhaler a bit more than I would like, but at least it means I can actually get some exercise in, and it really does help with the weight loss. I think your great for making up your mind, and getting your dvd. You go girl. I will look forward to reading your diary, and keeping up to date with you. I also have 3 dogs (labradors) so I know what you mean about puppy eyes when they wanna go walkies. hee hee best of luck Maddie
 
Heeeey guys thanks so much for the responses it feels great to have a load of buddies experiencing the same thing. I shall keep a food log and yeah I will start off walking, best time to soak up the last of the weather for a good cause eh. Today I got up!!! woohay, dont get my wrong I was all bleary eyed it helped that I had put my alarm clock on the other side of the room with my clothes, including trainers, with the laces undone. I have been out of work for about 4months now and my last job ended because my car broke down and I couldn't afford to repair to go back to work etc... BUT BUT, there is a job just 10minutes drive from where I live. It's as a full time carer in a nursing home (not anything like my previous job training animals for tv and film lol) but it will help get me on my feet and pay for my degree yay! Now I did say "drive" just a moment ago, however, I dont have a car, even if I did the most appealing thing about the job is that its a half hour cycle away via a lovely park route lol! Stuff the job and money I am evisioning myself cycling there only atm :p Fingers crossed for that job!
Right, so, for today's **breakfast** I had a small bowl of ceral with milk and resisted the urge for a cup of sweet tea (which I only USED to drink if there was no sweet junk food in the house), went to the fridge to get a glass of milk and paused, thinking "hang on, I don't NEED this milk" and sullenly went to the water tap for a drink instead hehe.
I share half a pear with my mother for a snack and had the last bowl of shepherds pie for lunch and a bottle of water. (its homemade and my mother made LOADS. /dribble).
I am a littlel bit hungry atm so I shall grab some grapes and munch them while I'm walking the dogs while thinking up a solution for dinner (mebe a small jacket potato no cheese this time, mebe tuna...)
Well today while I was eating cereal I was thinking my issue is portion sizes tbh. So I have decided to use this one bowl which is normal size (my family like BIG BOWLS AND BIG PLATES) and use that as a guide so I can eat all thats in the bowl until miraculously one day I go to a restaurant and have been so conditioned that I can't physically stuff the humassive amounts I used to. :) I'm not so great for counting calories and the thought of doing that for the rest of my life puts me off a little (I mean it's really GREAT that you know the EXACT amounts, but I just don't think it personally suits me unless some of you really think it's detrimental). I will check the back of packets etc just in case it's something shocking :) Hopefully portion control, my cold turkey on the junk and a healthy dose of common sense, exercise and willpower should get me there! I am rooting for you all! :)
 
I don't think counting calories is detrimental unless you are not seeing any results with your current plan. If you try it out for a couple weeks and you don't notice a loss you could think twice about it. I think as long as you are keeping a food diary and staying accountable for everything you are consuming you should be ok. Some people tend to cut back too much at first so just be careful and make sure you are getting the nutrients your body needs.
 
I was watching a show about weight loss a few weeks ago. A very obese, sick woman had made a video to help motivate a younger, healthier (but still obese) person to lose weight (and get healthy of course). What she said was this: "Never believe that evil little person that says in your ear, that I'll start my diet tomorrow". This person died a few months later.

I ate exceptionally well that day lol... too many of us put off taking care of ourselves tomorrow... and those tomorrows rarely become todays...

So good for you, your 'tomorrow' became a 'today' and we are all supporting you :D
 
xRougex said:
Heeeey guys thanks so much for the responses it feels great to have a load of buddies experiencing the same thing. I shall keep a food log and yeah I will start off walking, best time to soak up the last of the weather for a good cause eh. Today I got up!!! woohay, dont get my wrong I was all bleary eyed it helped that I had put my alarm clock on the other side of the room with my clothes, including trainers, with the laces undone. I have been out of work for about 4months now and my last job ended because my car broke down and I couldn't afford to repair to go back to work etc... BUT BUT, there is a job just 10minutes drive from where I live. It's as a full time carer in a nursing home (not anything like my previous job training animals for tv and film lol) but it will help get me on my feet and pay for my degree yay! Now I did say "drive" just a moment ago, however, I dont have a car, even if I did the most appealing thing about the job is that its a half hour cycle away via a lovely park route lol! Stuff the job and money I am evisioning myself cycling there only atm :p Fingers crossed for that job!
Right, so, for today's **breakfast** I had a small bowl of ceral with milk and resisted the urge for a cup of sweet tea (which I only USED to drink if there was no sweet junk food in the house), went to the fridge to get a glass of milk and paused, thinking "hang on, I don't NEED this milk" and sullenly went to the water tap for a drink instead hehe.
I share half a pear with my mother for a snack and had the last bowl of shepherds pie for lunch and a bottle of water. (its homemade and my mother made LOADS. /dribble).
I am a littlel bit hungry atm so I shall grab some grapes and munch them while I'm walking the dogs while thinking up a solution for dinner (mebe a small jacket potato no cheese this time, mebe tuna...)
Well today while I was eating cereal I was thinking my issue is portion sizes tbh. So I have decided to use this one bowl which is normal size (my family like BIG BOWLS AND BIG PLATES) and use that as a guide so I can eat all thats in the bowl until miraculously one day I go to a restaurant and have been so conditioned that I can't physically stuff the humassive amounts I used to. :) I'm not so great for counting calories and the thought of doing that for the rest of my life puts me off a little (I mean it's really GREAT that you know the EXACT amounts, but I just don't think it personally suits me unless some of you really think it's detrimental). I will check the back of packets etc just in case it's something shocking :) Hopefully portion control, my cold turkey on the junk and a healthy dose of common sense, exercise and willpower should get me there! I am rooting for you all! :)
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Oh the evils of shepherds pie..... lol my mother also makes loads of it and there is always leftovers... :) I SO understand what you mean about waking up. I generally have to set two alarms, on by my bed 15 min before I actually have to wake up, and then one across the room, otherwise I NEVER get up lol. As for a family who has big bowls and plates, again, I'm right there with you. My mother is always making way more than we need, and since no one else in my family is large, they have no problem just eating and eating and eating. However, the last time around when I got down to 189, all I did was portion control and exercise and willpower, so it can be done. I know you can do it, and we're all rooting for you the whole way!
 
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