KnavishClout
New member
the willpower of an anorexic. I know, that sounds sick and twisted. But that's the end of the spectrum that I'm on. I'm so out of control with my eating that I actually envy those with a medical condition that will end in their demise. I will live. I am active enough to remain "healthy." But I linger at this 285lb hell. I eat anything within an arms reach that I know tastes good.
I miss having my own apartment. When I lived on my own, I was too poor to afford a lot of food. I started losing weight for the first time in years. I never went hungry - I just didn't by the crap. The snacks. Also, having my own kitchen meant getting to experiment with food. I learned to make fajitas that were delicious and healthy for me. I lost about 35 lbs during the six months I lived on my own. I moved back in with my parents so I could go back to school (I'm 21). My father is fat and happy with it. He keeps a mean supply of snacks around at all times. What's worse is that neither of my parents leave home except during the hours that I'm at school/work, so I've lost the freedom to experiment with cooking. I spend most of my time at home avoiding the kitchen, which means avoiding my family. I also blame my dad for keeping the snacks in our house. I don't tell him, of course. He's earned the right to happiness and my lack of willpower will not be what stops him. But it's killing our relationship and he doesn't even know why.
I understand everything I do wrong. I just can't stop myself. I can now, locked in my room on the computer. It's harder when I'm in the living room and I have a clear path to the kitchen. It's impossible when I'm passing through and there's freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies on the counter.
I didn't come here looking for the latest tips and trends in dieting. I know how to loose weight. I've done it in the past. I just can't make myself do it now. I've joined weight-loss.fitness.com for the ability to converse with those whom truly understand my plight.
So Hi.
I miss having my own apartment. When I lived on my own, I was too poor to afford a lot of food. I started losing weight for the first time in years. I never went hungry - I just didn't by the crap. The snacks. Also, having my own kitchen meant getting to experiment with food. I learned to make fajitas that were delicious and healthy for me. I lost about 35 lbs during the six months I lived on my own. I moved back in with my parents so I could go back to school (I'm 21). My father is fat and happy with it. He keeps a mean supply of snacks around at all times. What's worse is that neither of my parents leave home except during the hours that I'm at school/work, so I've lost the freedom to experiment with cooking. I spend most of my time at home avoiding the kitchen, which means avoiding my family. I also blame my dad for keeping the snacks in our house. I don't tell him, of course. He's earned the right to happiness and my lack of willpower will not be what stops him. But it's killing our relationship and he doesn't even know why.
I understand everything I do wrong. I just can't stop myself. I can now, locked in my room on the computer. It's harder when I'm in the living room and I have a clear path to the kitchen. It's impossible when I'm passing through and there's freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies on the counter.
I didn't come here looking for the latest tips and trends in dieting. I know how to loose weight. I've done it in the past. I just can't make myself do it now. I've joined weight-loss.fitness.com for the ability to converse with those whom truly understand my plight.
So Hi.