I want to Lose Weight because I love Myself

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Day 6

Hello everyone! Day 6 today, and quite frankly, I didn't do so well, lol.

Today is my last Sunday with my boyfriend for another 3 weeks, so I wanted to go and enjoy the day. We had a very light breakfast with granola and milk, and I had a serving of potato chips (couldn't help myself!).

We then had a really heavy lunch/dinner at a nice Thai place near me. We had an appetizer of wontons, then we had crispy chicken, panang curry, and some wide noodles. If I had to calculate, I think I ate about 2600 calories today. With how heavy I ate also yesterday, that would put me at an easy 1000 calories in total over my 1700 calorie limit.

But, that's okay, because in order to keep my weight steady, I need to be eating 2900 calories for my current activity level, and that is definitely not something I have done.

Actually, 2900 calories for maintenance seems a little excessive, but I am on my feet all day as a nurse for 8-10 hours, five days a week, so maybe the 2900 calorie is needed.

In any case, I am still at a net loss this week, so that is good. It might be a small step forward, but at least I'm not moving back!
 
Once every three weeks isn't a lot so 2400 kcal wouldn't harm you in the long run. Whether or not splurging now is a good idea is your decision though; for some people it's a way to combat cravings whike for others it just creates more of them.

Spurging throws me off track totally. Hope you enjoy the day without getting totally derailed :)

Thanks for the replies! Despite how bad day 6 was, food wise, I definitely don't feel like I have derailed or thrown myself off track. I have already lost weight before and understand how hard it is to lose weight when you splurge too early, but I think I'll be okay! I weighed the pros and cons of the past couple days, and I thought I would be happier and more fulfilled if I enjoyed my weekend for what it is. Eating vegetables and chicken with my boyfriend on a once-in-a-blue-moon weekend didn't seem like the best idea.

That being said, are the cravings still there? Partially. I feel like being able to journal and actively keep track of my calories allows me to feel like I have a more concrete duty to myself to do better.
 
I weighed the pros and cons of the past couple days, and I thought I would be happier and more fulfilled if I enjoyed my weekend for what it is.
That´s what I like to hear :) Keeping a healthy weight is a lifetime effort so whatever you do has to be sustainable and depriving yourself all the time isn´t (for most people). Well done staying under maintenance, by the way.
 
What's my favourite cliche line? It's a marathon, not a race.
You're doing awesome, and good job tracking - especially when it wasn't your best day. Sometimes I'm cringing plugging stuff into MFP, but we can only get better by tracking it all accurately.

Happy Monday, have an excellent week!
 
Thanks for the replies! Despite how bad day 6 was, food wise, I definitely don't feel like I have derailed or thrown myself off track
That's excellent! If you can just pick up where you left off this early it's a good sign that you will be able to stick with it :)
 
Day 7

Today was the last day of my "weekend". I get Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off, and then goodbye weekend off until the end of December.

I decided to hang out with my friend Andrew today. I had a light breakfast, then went out to eat Korean food. Dinner was Jollibee fast food with my boyfriend, then went to bed.

I'm definitely going to be eating a lot better starting tomorrow.
 
Day 8

Today was an awful day. I pulled a 12 hour shift and I've been working non-stop. Been on my feet all day, AND forgot to bring lunch. I was massively starving.

My boyfriend bought me pizza. I had five slices.

I calculated everything and I just barely went over my calorie goal for the day. I'll just say... crisis averted. I prepared my lunch for tomorrow which is some rice, chicken, and a salad, so I'll be doing a later better.

I'm so tired though. I'll make my goal list for this week tomorrow. Good night!
 
Food prep is an absolute necessity on days like that. And they still suck. Hope tomorrow will be easier.
 
Day 9

I did fine today, honestly. I have been working 12 hour days for the last week or so, so my body feels so busted. I'm tired but I am more mentally tired than physically. I crave to go to the gym again.
 
Day 10

I am here at work late again (surprise, surprise). It's 5pm and I probably won't get off until 7pm, but I thought I would at least post this message so I can document what's going on.

I had a pizza today and some chocolate. The pizza was planned, but the bits of kisses chocolate weren't, but I didn't eat enough for it to ruin my day. I'm actually going to eat some McDonald's tonight for my eating show video. But I already calculated all this and I know it's not going to go over my calorie budget today, so I'm excited and very proud.

I do feel myself getting lighter, but my face is super sensitive to what I eat. I look bloated when I overeat and I look really nice when I don't. Exercise seems to fix that almost immediately, but I haven't exercised in almost a week!

I'm off tomorrow, so I'm planning on exercising then~
 
Day 15

So I know I missed several days, and that's mostly because work has been extremely busy and I didn't have access to my laptop. I was thinking of posting a forum message on my phone, but my phone was giving me problems and it wasn't turning out correctly, so here I am! I'm back hope and I'm going to summarize the last few days.

Friday and the weekend was fine, but I went out with a couple of friends and I wasn't keeping track of what I was eating. I kind of had a, "screw it, whatever!" attitude and I can tell that it's costing me. I deeply regret all of that eating. Although it doesn't seem like much (I HAVE been keeping track the best that I could), it was not near my weight loss maintenance of about 1900 calories. It probably hovered more around 2200-2400 the last several days. Yikes.

I get into this mode of "I am already in a relationship so it's fine if my body sucks", but then I look at my boyfriend and I look at me and there's just such an imbalance between us. He's actually gaining a little weight because of me. I feel really bad. The only solution to this whole thing is to lose weight myself and get him into a healthy mode too. He's trying, but he knows next to nothing about calorie maintenance, exercising, and losing weight general, because he has never had to lose weight before. He gained 25 lbs throughout the 7 months of our relationship (as did I)/

Speaking of weight, I finally weighed myself this morning. 188 lbs! I was shocked by this number because earlier last year, I was 163-165 lbs, so I definitely gained a lot of weight. I need to start working downwards now.

Next week's goals:
  • Workout at least twice
  • Make enough food to last 4 days of working
  • Consistently document calorie intake
  • Only eat out once
  • Drop at least to 186 lbs
The reason why I am throwing this week in the hamper is because it's already halfway over. I'm still going to maintain a few things, but I'm not going to repeat what happened last week and not prepare myself, so the goals are here for me to refer to.

My Cravings are Intense

I want noodles. And fries. and Carbs. and Sugar. Right now, in fact, and it doesn't help that someone bought donuts downstairs and they are sitting there waiting to be eaten! I already failed and ate a whole cream donut and a half, but then I threw myself out of the kitchen and munched on a fiber one bar and drank a whole glass of water. I'm planning to exercise today and do an eating show with my friend (she is bringing authentic Pakistani food to the table).

I have no idea about the food and I don't know how heavy it is, so I'm not too sure how to calculate today's calories. I'm thinking of just eating a little bit, go to the gym prior to eating, and just enjoying myself. I told her two entrees and an appetizer should be enough for the video.
 
Hi Im Cass. I'm new to the forum. Hope its ok to comment on your diary! I just wanted to wish you luck with your weight loss goals and share a "noodle cheat" that I recently discovered. Hopefully you will appreciate it as much as I do. Noodles are one thing that I crave when dieting!

I've been buying packaged rice or egg noodles - the ones that are already soft. Then I omit about a third of the noodles from each portion and replace with bean sprouts. I cook them together with some veggies and stir fry sauce and you cant even really tell that the bean sprouts are in there. They look and taste a bit like noodles once prepared but with less calories and carbs.

Hope that your eating show goes well. Looking forward to finding out what you thought of the food.

Edited to add: I just read the start of your journal and saw that you have been eating Shirataki noodles, which I had never heard of, but after googling I see that they are an even better option than my suggestion!
 
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Friday, December 22, 2017

(I'm going to stop counting days. I'm losing track)

Hello all! Yes, I'm still going at it. I just haven't had the time to journal daily.

I was 188 last week and this week I am 185-186, so I think that's an achievement, no?

I have also been on a low carb diet that started relatively recently. My plan is to get rid of all the sugary and starchy carbs in my diet for about a month, and then reintroduce good carbs into my system. That way I don't have this sugar craving constantly. I really want to just get rid of the carb craving entirely because that's what has been getting me to gain weight.

I have also had plenty of success with decreasing my carbs before, so I guess I'll just do it now. And Kassey is on board too! So we will both be keeping each other on track :)
 
Hi Im Cass. I'm new to the forum. Hope its ok to comment on your diary! I just wanted to wish you luck with your weight loss goals and share a "noodle cheat" that I recently discovered. Hopefully you will appreciate it as much as I do. Noodles are one thing that I crave when dieting!

I've been buying packaged rice or egg noodles - the ones that are already soft. Then I omit about a third of the noodles from each portion and replace with bean sprouts. I cook them together with some veggies and stir fry sauce and you cant even really tell that the bean sprouts are in there. They look and taste a bit like noodles once prepared but with less calories and carbs.

Hope that your eating show goes well. Looking forward to finding out what you thought of the food.

Edited to add: I just read the start of your journal and saw that you have been eating Shirataki noodles, which I had never heard of, but after googling I see that they are an even better option than my suggestion!

Thank you for the advice! I actually never though about bean sprouts. I used shirataki because they look like noodles, but the taste is still pretty awful in my opinion. Smells and tastes like rubber that has been sitting in the sea for too long. Maybe I'm not using them right, but I don't know, haha.
 
Getting rid of sugar and starchy carbs (but especially sugar) sounds like a great idea. I really notice the difference in cravings.
 
Thursday, January 4, 2018

The holidays are over. Thank GOODNESS. I can finally get back to eating clean again.

First of all, I hope you guys are having a fantastic new year, and I hope your holidays treated you well. I think we should all start the year by forgiving ourselves for binging during the holidays. Couldn't be helped, right? Haha. Only comes once a year, so we might as well enjoy it!

I'm starting off this year by being positive about myself. I'm not going to put myself down and call myself "ugly" or "fat", even jokingly. Not allowed! I need to feel good about myself as I currently am. Being negative only makes me do drastic things to lose weight, and renews the cycle of binging and starving myself.

I'm still on the keto diet and it's going pretty well. I'm going to be doing this diet until the beginning of February, then I will be reintroducing fruits back into my diet again. My main goal is to cut the sugary/starchy cravings out so I can eat clean and not feel like a slave to fast food chains. So far, my cravings have decreased dramatically and I feel a little lighter in the face.

Weight wise, I haven't really changed. Currently I'm 185 lbs. That's a 3 lb weight loss since I first started this journal, which is completely fine for me. A marathon, not a race, right? I'm just happy I'm still losing weight and not gaining anything.

I haven't exercised since before the holidays, and my body is feeling extremely creaky and out-of-shape. I'm starting off my mornings by doing some light cardio for 30 minutes, and then go from there. I am still paying for gym membership but if I'm completely honest with myself, I don't feel like I'm ready to be pumping iron. All the gym will do at this point in my weight loss will burn me out and make me hungry, and then make me binge. I need to practice self-restraint and willpower first before I go back to the gym again.

I'll just have to keep paying the monthly membership until I'm ready. I'll just let it be incentive for me to get to the point where I could go back to the gym again!

Other than that, I'm still on the path. 2017 was such a crappy year for me, but 2018 will be a whole lot better. I could feel it!
 
Here's to a well-balanced, happy & healthy new year :beerchug: (with sparkling mineral water for me) :)
 
Thursday, January 25, 2018

I haven't updated this in a while! But no worries, I'm still trying to lose weight.

I'm currently 181 lbs, which is a nice drop from the 185 lb. Already looking skinnier and people are noticing.

All I did was eat significantly less than I used to. I've also been fasting a lot.

And... I'm no longer on keto lol. It was a nice run but it was driving me nuts.

My main problem right now is finding the drive and energy to go to the gym. I can't just eat less and expect results, right? At least, not the results I'm looking for. I'm going to try to go to the gym every day and see how that works. I'm also paying for the gym membership, so I don't want it to go to waste. Ick.
 
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