I want to be drastic

S

sparrow

Guest
I am in real need of encouragement. Almost 3 months ago I started dragging myself out of starvation mode that I was in for YEARS...eating 5-600 cals a day on average and staying very active (this is for anyone who is no up to speed with me). I increased cals if I stayed the same or lost...and things were going well. My weight stayed the same for a very long time and then went up a few pounds (probably new muscle), but stayed there a few more weeks. I kinda stopped at 1300 cals for a while because it was a lot of food and I was so uncomfortable all the time. I just stayed there trying to get my body used to the number before going upwards more. I am very active, I have been weight training 2-3 days a week, doing 60 min of cardio 5-6 days a week (I am an endurance athlete, run long races), and all was well till lately. I seem to just be getting bigger no matter what I do. I can FEEL extra on me and I am kinda flipping out. Things are tight and I just look different. I have been anorexic before and it bothers me that those familiar kinds of thoughts are my knee jerk reaction with all this. I am a very deterimined person and accomplish most things I set my mind to. It would be so easy to just go back the way I was, or worse.
The only clothes I feel comfortable in right now are my gym clothes. I wear tight things at the gym because I don't like flopping shirts when I run, but I "fit in" at the gym in my stuff. I do feel fit there. Out and about I just feel fat and gross, glimpses at my reflection in windows makes me cringe, and I dread getting dressed everyday since things don't fit the same and I'm suddenly so self conscious again.

I am so close to just giving this all up. My metabolism is not cooperating and I cannot deal with gaining more weight with no guarantee that it will end soon! I feel like the extra pounds (I'm up 6 now) are making me tired and my workouts are suffering these days. I can actually feel the extra weight as I run and it distracts me. Everything I have read says it takes less time than I have gone through to restore metabolism and whatever weight was gained will then start dropping again. I'm here in month 3, very consistantly doing what I should and my weight just goes up.:(

Someone help! I'm super duper pooper frustrated!:mad:
 
Sparrow sweetheart I can't put this any more clear and please know none of this is in anyway judgemental as i think you are simply wonderful.

You have to eat more, its just that simple. 1300 calories isn't going to do it. Your body is in serious starving mode with all that activity you are doing. Its fighting back at you by keeping any or all food that you give it. You are going to have to suck it up, eat more calories and try to eat for your needs. With your activity you should be getting AT least 1800 calories a day for fat loss. Anything lower than that and you are just going to be wasting your time. I upped my calories again and lost more body fat and I don't do nearly the amount of cardio you do. I know that you can't stand the thought of having any extra fat on you but you wont ever get to where you want to be if you don't eat more and better. Changing your fat intake, upping your water, its not going to do it. You have to have a balanced diet, higher calories, with carbs, with water, with good exercise. You still aren't even eating for your resting metabolic rate.

The facts...

Is you upping your calories bring a chance of weight gain? Yes. There is a chance that for the first few weeks you will gain some weight, so what? It short term weight, it comes off different. It comes off faster. Its a period of adjustment for your body, kind of like water weight. The only thing that upping them slowly is going to do is keep you from gaining weight, it wont however help you with losing weight. So if afraid of weight gain up 100 calories a week till you hit 1800 then bounce between 1800-2200. That is still in weight loss area.

Let me ask you, do you not believe that you burn at least 2500 calories a day when having a normal non starved metabolism with your exercise? What is it exactly about what all of us do here, that you think wont work for you? Maybe if we can get down to the bottom of that, we can make some head way. Because the eating issue side of things is something you have to work out yourself yes or with talking to someone. But maybe if we can convince you that yes these methods work, yes these are scientifc fact, yes people your exact shape, size and height have achieved their goals, maybe you won't be so scared to jump on board.

Yes it could be a 2 month period of time that your body isn't where you want it to be, but is it now? How can this be any different, you have to take back control and say and really believe "so what if I gain 2 pounds now, later I lose 10"

Your body is also so starved that it is rejecting the desire to eat, lack of hunger or desire to eat food, water logging, low energy, carb crashes, these things only occur when you are deprived of nutrients. If you would just adopt a healthy eating habit and just be a little patient with it you will find that you don't drag, you are better mentally then ever and you lose body fat.

So it's just that simple sweetie. Its your choice, either way we support you. But all that running, all that water, all that fighting yourself isn't going to help you. Burn the fat, don't starve it. Feed your body and muscles, it will repay you.
 
Its just that I seriously struggle about how I can eat more food. I have tried to even go to 1500 before. Its TOO much! I know you don't get the world of the "starvation mode" person leip. I don't believe you've ever had to go through it. Its seriously a ton of food for someone who has been used to so little for so long. I'm stuffed to the max each time I eat and I don't function well with that feeling. I get tired, and irritable and just demotivated. The only way I can get there is with more good fats. When I try to go higher I almost entirely ditch veggies because they are too filling, and too low cal. I'll never make the higher numbers with them! Its an awful catch 22 right now.

I do believe I burn more than I put in. thats a no brainer. What I hoped is that my body was beginning to get the message that "we're starting to eat more now" as I've over doubled my regular calorie count and it would cooperate a little more. I struggle with weight gain. Thats the whole reason I was anorexic in the first place. I was a FAT kid and any hint of that happening again gives me anxiety. I went from fat to very lean and now somewhere in the middle. mostly right now its about my clothes. I cannot go get more and I can hardly fit in what I have. more weight gain is going to piss me off.

I'm not resistant. Its not like I'm rebelling with this whole thing. I've been more than cooperative through all the suggestions and work. I just don't know how to get those cals in there and I guess I don't entirely trust the process is going to work for ME, since nothing else has for so long

I'm beyond frustrated.
 
Wow. It sounds as almost as if now that your body realises it's in with a chance of more food it's gone into malnutritive starvation attention seeking.!
Least you heard it anyway. :0:/......

i'm pretty tiny myself. I'm 31 , fml, 169 cm and usually weigh around 43-45 kgs, have a reeally low bf and train anything up to 8hrs + most days. ..

I have trouble eating enough food to fuel my workouts myself. I just can't eat that much and feel physically comfortable..let alone go straight back into another workout soon after lunch when I have luxury of doing that ..

I do think ppl eat too much and usually i only eat for petrol and burn everything i use. ..then because my metabolism kicks up with that, every 3-4 days i do a 2-3 gms / kg of bodyweight load of extra carbs. ..just so i have something to buffer. ..and I assure you that providing i do a fibre supplement to get whatever the heck my body can't directly use after it's taken what it needs the becrimminey Out of my body already. i don't even like the thought of stuff sitting their rotting after it's served its purpose. .. that load goes down reeally well. ..and I feel much better for having done it.

In the meantime though, because i'm not so pretentious to be stupid about it, I do my best to get the cals i need. ..but i make up the extra I can't eat in solid food with Aussie bodies protein powder in physical no fat milk for 275 cals each hit. If I do juice combos through the day and a liquid vit b taurine hit for recovery, and then do maybe 4 grams of complex carbs a few times a day , alternating that with fruit9 and maybe a couple tablespoons of fat free high culture berry yoghurt for the extra iron and different texture) and lemon juice and even a nuked half zuccini with microwaved egg whites and milk in an omlette cooked with a squeeze` herb or combo with a piece of nofat cheese is a dammin delicious meal, i'm satisfied because it's mainly protein ( which is what stops us feeling hungry) and Im covered for my intake, and it all fat free :D :D!! or sometimes i might throw in some peas and corn or celery or eat it with tomatoe and rice crackers or throw a few tablespoons of pumpkin or veg soup on it and I'd realy rather not eat anything else. Fuelled and nourished and satisfied fat free... then If I want to splurge on a good spon of dip or something, providing it doesn't have too much salt, then i might occassionally think of doing that too..or maybe a good oily fish or something.. or a I might even do a good sausage or half bloody steak ( :p ) :) for that animal protein I believe hear we need at times to function best.. particularly as women..


The only problem with that is that you need to acidicly break some of that protein down through the day and get rid of your waste regularly so you don't get lurgy. I do that ewith lemon juice, a daily glass of dry red wine ( and no you cannot substitute that!..unless you must and don't care), and I also take a good dose of a tablet fibre supplement at night .. or maybe mid morning ..early afternoon.

It's a sweet system if you can manage your fluid intake ..high protein eating styles making that more important..but donot neglect your calory intake or your carbs..it's just not neccessary..and your skin and your organs and your nevous system 'll love ya for not.

Anyway, good luck and i sincerely hope you find something that works that you can feel good about like you really are not just looking good but also doing your body good service.

cheers

Blooming Lotus
 
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Lotus: supplements are just that, they shouldn't replace real food. There isn't enough food in there.

Sparrow: No I don't know what its like to starve myself. However I have stood beside 3 people who were and only when one suffered serious organ failure did the others realize what they were doing to their body. I also had another friend who worked out obsessively. So while I haven't gone through it myself, i have gone to meetings, supported and stood by those who have. I know how hard getting down food was for them, I also know that once they got past it they have some of the best bodies I have ever seen in person. 1 became a teacher and the other moved to new york and writes for a health section in a pretty popular magazine.

Every persons body is different, but there are certain absolutes that can't be argued. Maybe if you aren't believing the way we see things to be you could find a way to prove it to yourself, maybe that could help get over a hump. Why not go down to a local college and ask them to do a metabolic rate test on you or calorie burned testing. 40 or 50 bucks is worth some peace of mind. Maybe if you saw with your own eyes test results of what you are burning it might make it easier to get through the force feeding. You have shrunk your stomach so yes when I say force feedig its just that. It can even be painful and brig on cramping, but its just your body and your stomach resetting itself and it only takes a short time for your stomach to get back to normal, its very bouncy so to speak. While yes you are doing a great job getting in what you have, you still are in the effects of starvation.

And even though I never have starved myself, I have a hard time getting down all the food I eat. When you eat healthy its hard eating all the meat and veggie. But its what I have to do, to get my body where I want it to be.
Sometimes I feel like I am going to get sick if I look at one more piece of chicken, but then I think about how my body needs that protein, how happy getting to my goal will make me, how much healthier I have become sense eating right, and I bite. Anyway good luck sparrow, I hope it all comes together for you. :) Maybe i will just leave this issue to the pros around here as I certainly don't want my lack of technical experience to be a deterrence. But I believe with all my heart and with all my studies and personal experiance that what I am saying to be true.
 
same boat

hi sparrow. i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone here. i was under eating (1000 cal/day and exercising a TON) & losing nothing. Met with a trainer and am working to eat 1500 cals/day and I had to limit my cardio. I have gained a few pounds and I am NOT HAPPY about it but I am hoping my body understands SOON that this is the healthy way to go & then the losses will begin again..

it is very frustrating & venting is necessary but trust the professionals - you need more calories. I prob. need more than 1500 but that is what i am trying now. it is hard to get all the calories in....

some things that are starting ot help me with upping the calories:
* start early - eat breakfast (obviously) and continuously have snacks available to you to eat every 2 -3 hrs
* plan your day (this works for me as i have a rigid work schedule) and follow the foods you'd say you'd eat...it is harder than said but it helps to see you need more fuel
* throw in some healthy fats - almonds, avocado...will help increase your caloric intake w/o feeling like you ate too much
* find some favorite foods that you'll snack on regularly - cottage cheese, low fat string cheese, oatmeal - healthy, balanced but not too heavy so you dont feel like you just ate enough for the whole day
* and as trainer lynn says - 5-6 small meals - so say 5 - 300 calorie meals....make a list (i did this, honestly) of what it would be to make up 300 calorie meal groups...incorporate them through out the day. Pick 5 and eat that through the day.

just my 2 cents as i am totally in a similar situation. dont give up. let your body adjust to being healthy and FED and trust the professionals here...they know better...and apparetnly in the long run, we'll be better off, leaner, stronger and healthier.

good luck and pls dont give up! you are making great progress!!
 
thanks time4change, and thanks leip.
I had a dr appt today because I've had joint pain in my hands for over 6 months. I sometimes have to wrap my wrist because it hurts so badly or physcially move my fingers with my other hand to get them to straighten up. my dr did a lot of blood work to rule out any arthritis stuff. I'm 28, thats kinda crazy to me. I mentioned the weight stuff to her and she said to rule out hypothyroidism so did blood work for that too. If its neg. I can find a nutritionist who knows about the kind of stuff I'm going through and help me along (not that you guys aren't great). I just don't trust myself to do whats right. I'm tired.
Today I'm majorly water retained. i can feel puffy everywhere, expecially my face. I was 134 today, not that means a whole lot.
Its so weird to accept I'm "starving" when I'm so full all the time and eat constantly.
 
Going to a nutritionist would definitely be a wise decision. They can give you a healthy eating plan to help you reach your goals without doing damage.

Eating disorders can be a lot like depression. You can get through it, but it is never totally gone, almost as if deep down it is always a part of you. Making the decision to see a nutritionist to ensure that you stay on a healthy track is very insightful of you.
 
The logic behind starving when you're not hungry is that just because you're full is doesn't mean youve covered yourself nutritionally with everything you need. If you're tired, you might want to look at iron and vit c and carb intake regulation.

As far your arthritis though, there's certain things that correcting your bodyfluid quality and glycal intake will do for that aswell. If you combine that with stretching and weight baring exercise, your joints should be in good shape. Remember that blood quality and joint lubrication depends on protein and the sugars balancing or clogging it up with toxic rubbish.. when you stretch and bare weight, like a syringe action through your marrow and into your joint fluid, it changes itself and eliminates the toxins.
Sounds like the others here are giving you ample advice anyway.

chees
Blooming Lotus
 
well I take a good multivitamin, I have plenty of iron through food, I drink enough water, I stretch already quite a bit and I lift weights. I'm not sure what glycal is but I eat pretty darn clean so I'm not sure what toxins would be clogging things up. I have low bone density already, I already know that and I wonder if this joint pain may be part of that? Today I made 1500, it wasn't that bad
 
inside your bones ...in your marrow..that replenshes and replaces each micro cell after a yr or two yrs max for bone... is where your body makes blood...

we have already established here you're undernourished... if you think that running a dry machine not getting all the good cog turning material is not going to cause you an overheating overburn causing toxicity then I guess that's just what you think.


I am approaching a 2 x professorship...and Iii am telling you that when you get educated and informed and act on it, clean looks a whole different again.

you're so stubborn twd hurtng yourself. this is not my business nor my problem .


p.s..the term 'glyco' relates to body sugar... glycogen = necc sugar lube for body tissue and each cell and microcell to function properly .. like muscles for example..easily caterd for and remedied remedied with a no fatchoc milk, soad water and an oj.....
and glUcogen related to the sugar lubednous in your blood and body fluids ( glucose)... and the uptake of carbs or how you can best get everything you of them you can ... as in the type and amount of liquid carb you take...

you talk like you clearly dont need my comments and I'm tired and human too so good luck anyway.

Blooming lotus
 
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You know blooming it isnt your problem so why don't you troll over to the Dr. Phil message board and leave us here to ourselves. Its funny all your "findings" never taught you about tact or compassion. She is doing a damn good job and your remarks aren't in any way needed nor just. So go waste your time somewhere else.

And good Job on that 1500 sparrow, you take your time, you will get there, and until you do we are here.
 
Dude lotus, I have no idea what that comment was about, or whats up your A$$ but you need to go study up and figure out what it is. Ditch this forum, I think we've now "clearly established" your "educated" answers are not wanted, nor helpful. This whole forum is for people helping people. Who the hell cares if you have a thesis going on, approaching a 2X professorship or brush your teeth every morning. Do you actually contribute to society besides being arrogant and insensitive towards people seeking real help, adding a bunch of titles behind your name or paying bucks into educational institutions? Nobody here CARES and from what I've read, nobody wants to hear it anymore! You clearly have no idea what kind of history I am dealing with and how far I have come in little time. If you had done your little research you would find I have been anything but stubborn throughout this process that is difficult for me to put my blind faith in, yet I've been doing it. You have absolutly no wisdom beyond your studies as evidenced by your rude comments. People like you carry with them many regrets, when and if they ever realize what pricks they've been. Your little world seems only big enough for you right now. How sad and lonely. Good luck with that.
 
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