I tried to talk to GF about weight and she got very upset

J

jrice94

New member
My GF and I have dated since 7th grade( if middle school counts as dating lol) and now we’re 20. We don’t know what happened or what triggered it, but now, we both weigh around 240 pounds. I’m sick of being obese and I want to lose weght. I’m a very blunt person and I find it hard to sugarcoat things.

Me: Baby, I don’t know how else to say this and I think it goes without saying, we’re both obese.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: Come on, We’re both 240 pounds, you and I both know its not healthy. We both got way into the fries, pizza, and doughnuts
Her: drop it
Me: No, I’m trying to help. We both get winded far too easily. I can’t remember the last time I was on a treadmill. I doubt I could do a single push up or sit up. If we don’t start now, we’ll be 300 pounds by next year. We’re fat, face it.
Her: Shut up
Me: Do want to give in? Keep getting fatter. End up immobile?

Now she won’t talk to me. What do I do? I feel like I said what needed to be said.
 
You did nothing wrong. She is reacting the way most women would.
I think about my weight constantly. I KNOW that I'm fat. I feel terrible about it. I know that MY choices are what made me this way. If my boyfriend said what you said, I would be hurt. Not because of what he said, or even that he meant to hurt me. I would be hurt because someone else acknowledged that I have made a mistake.
My advice? Drop it...in a way. Don't bring up that conversation again. Just start making changes. Don't take on her weight. Take on your own. If she sees you trying to change, maybe she will follow suit. If you are making better food choices, she won't want to pig out in front of you. Start parking really far away at stores. That will force both of you to walk.
Tell her that you are sorry and that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Say that you just want as many years as possible with her, and you want to enjoy them being healthy.
 
I would say set an example. Go to the gym starting once a twice a week and invite her along. Eventually get up to 4 or kore days a week.

Start cooking healthy food.

Men are the leaders; she will follow.
Make being healthy a fun recreational
activity.
 
you did the right thing. I agree with others above that you should just go for it and show her that its really not absolutely miserable. hopefully she will also make change. try encouraging her as you make progress. its a lot better to have a "weight loss partner" but if you gotta do it alone you have to. its good that you realize you need to change.

-nothing taste as good as being healthy feels-
 
The truth always hurts, but what you're doing is great and could lead to a wake up call. And if worst comes to worst start without her, she'll realise what she is missing out on , and the eating habits will most likely pass on, especially if you live together. Good luck ! :D
 
My advice to you will be like imaninjadangit. Don't talk about it again.

Instead of your mouth and voice, let your actions and results do the talking.

If you have to, refrain from foods that make you keep putting on weight even if it means upsetting her when you both go out for meals.

It's not an easy and nice thing to do but it's necessary.

Go for a slow jog and brisk walk in the park in either mornings or evenings if hardcore long distance running is not your cup of tea. If you don't like outdoors, go to the gym and get a personal trainer to coach you to lose weight if you have to.

Or if you are too lazy to even go out, invest in an exercise machine say a bike and put it right in your room besides your bed.

Do whatever you have to in activities that will help you lose weight. In time to come when you finally achieved results, your girlfriend will start to wonder how you get so slim.

And that is when you can share what you want to share with her at first.
 
Take the first step and begin with yourself. Once she begins to notice a difference in what you are doing and how you are changing she will eventually reach out to you. Tell her about how much better you feel how excited you are about getting your results. I had a similar problem with my gf and eventually she saw what I was doing and decided to come along on the journey with my.

Diet is one of the biggest things to get used to but trust me if you dine out to eat and still eat healthy she will notice how serious you are about getting there and be more willing to stay committed at least encouraging you to change and then eventually herself.

Begin the journey yourself and as you gain momentum she will be more likely to join.
 
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