I p*ss myself off

T

Tryingtostayfit

0
I drive myself nuts. Sometimes things are so important to me that nothing else gets in the way and sometimes I don't care about anything and sabotage myself so badly that it results in weight gain....or worse. I'm starting tomorrow and I know it's a Friday but that is the day I'm starting over. I'm going to stick to 1200 calories and I'll complete my exercise (for me this is speed walking due to a back injury that prohibits me from running anymore).
Here's my diet plan for tomorrow:
LUNA BAR- 180
Apple- 60
Chili and side salad from KNOWFAT- 200
Apple- 60
Black bean burger and crunchy veggie side from B.Good-438
Monster energy drink- 20
Carrots and peanut butter- 140
calcium chews- 40

That's about 1138 total and would be easy to stick to....
I don't usually eat out that much but I have appts over lunch and after work so I won't be home until 8:30 or so and don't want to wait that late to eat. I also don't have much food in the house beyond the carrots, apples and peanut butter. I plan to do some healthy shopping on Saturday.
I just need the will power to stick to my healthy decisions I am making for myself. I don't want to continue on the binge and restriction cycle that I'm currently on....and I want to be honest for probably the first time to anyone in many years. Sometimes the binges result in purging due to guilt and anger. Which only results in more guilt and anger. You'd think that this is something that would be easy to stick to...I feel so good when I'm healthy why wouldn't that be enough to make me want to live that way permanently. I'll be answering to myself here even if no one else is reading this.
:eek2:
 
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Congrats on posting and welcome to WLF. Come here often and share. People here will support you.

But just keeping a diary is a step in itself.
 
Tryingtolose said:
I drive myself nuts. Sometimes things are so important to me that nothing else gets in the way and sometimes I don't care about anything and sabotage myself so badly that it results in weight gain....or worse.
Click to expand...

I have a huge problem with sabotaging myself too, and it results in weight gain. I get so angry, and put myself down, and say eh eff it. I've been hanging out with my daughter and my roomates more often and it's helped me a lot, also reading these forums has made me feel not so alone...You need to surround yourself with positive people to help you out of your funks :)

Welcome to the forums, I am also a newbie to the forums, but enjoying myself a lot. You should not only post in your diary, but read others...it's very helpful =)
 
Updates on new days and thanks

I love how people are ready already what I wrote and showing support. I've been looking through other people's diaries and getting ideas for stuff to eat. I have trouble sometimes meal planning. I think it's hard to eat 1200 calories and get everything you need to be healthy....especially if you don't eat meat or much dairy like me.
Yesterday I stuck to my diet exactly as planned and today I got up early to go for a long walk. Here's my planned diet for today:
Luna-180
Apple-70
Wasa crackers with all natural PB-150
Mexican tortilla sandwich-180
-FF refried beans
-Jalepenos
-Black bean salsa
-Joseph's pocket bread
Chips and Salsa-180
Salad with flax seed oil and balsamic vinegar-150
3 light beers (at party)-350

Total-1260

That's a little more than my goal but still want to have a good time at the party. I'm going to look up some light beers on line to see which is the lightest and maybe I can ammend that total. Plus I'm more active on the weekend because I'm not sitting at a desk for the majority of it but cleaning and walking around and i'm babysitting for a friend's 3 year old before I go out for a few hours....I'm sure he'll have me running around. Yesterday I only had about 1000 calories. I think I forgot to have a snack thinking I was done for the day. But from the week I had previously I think I needed a very light day to help cleanse my system. It's been getting warm in MA and my penchant for Ben and Jerry's has been manifesting itself again. I walk by it when I get off the train and have to smell the fresh made waffle cones. I'm thinking of finding and alternate route to avoid it! Well....1.5 days down and doing well. Already feeling energized. :jump:
 
Not quite right

Well...I followed my plan pretty much on Saturday for most of the day...but then I had about 100 beers at the party. So much for sticking to three. My boyfriend told me we were going to a birthday party for our neighbor and when we got to the bar all my friends were there and it was for my 30th birthday (which will be in a few weeks...:eek: ). Everyone was buying me drinks and had trouble being moderate in any sense of the word. Even had a few cigarettes. I think I'm still a bit hung over today as I'm getting ready for work.
Plan for today:
LUNA-180
Apple-60
chili and salad from KNOWFAT-200
Apple-60
Salad-200
Cod prepared with spicey mustard-180
Asparagus-60
small portion of rice-200
monster and calcium chews- 60

Total- 1200

I had to estimate on the fish and rice because I really don't know how many calories are in those things but I can't image it's more than I posted. Could be kidding myself though. The reason my calories are high on the evening salad is because I like to put in avocado and flax seed oil. This week I'll be detoxing becuase of my excesses on Saturday. I shouldn't be surprized about this because I've always had trouble with excesses. When I was younger I dabbled a bit in the extremes with partying. This naturally weeded itself out of my life as my interests changed but I still, even at just before 30, have the tendency to have too many drinks when in those types of situations.
Have a good week everyone. I'll be checking in later today.
 
Welcome to WLF! I've been here for a month and it's helped me out a bunch. I've almost lost 8 pounds and thats the most success I have had in quite a while. Stick to it!

I'm starting tomorrow and I know it's a Friday but that is the day I'm starting over. I'm going to stick to 1200 calories and I'll complete my exercise (for me this is speed walking due to a back injury that prohibits me from running anymore).
Click to expand...

I just wanted to let you know that if you are exercising and you can estimate about how many calories you're burning you should increase your caloric intake to whatever that is, because your resting body needs the 1200 calories to just function and operate. So if you're burning calories starting at 1200 you're probably doing more harm than good.
I'm doing the 1200 calorie diet too, but if I am having to do a lot of physical work, more than my usual , I will eat just a bit more to make up for it.
It might be slower, but its better on your organs! :D

You can do it!
 
welcome! you are doing so well already! Keep up the great work, and you'll be at your goal in no time!
 
Love it

I love when I come in to post and find that I've gotten a few responses. I think I'm going to change the way I'm doing this though and post at night what I actually ate instead of what I plan to eat because frankly I have not been being exact like I intend and am probably having more like 1400 calories. I haven't been too worried because I have an active lifestyle. I commute into town for work and don't have a car there so I walk everywhere. I also leave my car at home and walk to the train station in the morning. I figure if I don't have time to formerly exercise at least I can get in as much physical activity as a normal part of my day. I do, however, need to beef things up if I'm going to reach any goal for summer weather. I need to exercise more! I have trouble doing any weight resistance because I find it boring and tedious.

Diet today (final)
LUNA- 180
Banana- 100
Chili and Side Salad- 250
Bean Burger with avocado and salsa on wheat bun- 370
Side of asian style crunchie veggies- 68
Monster energy drink- 40
Antioxidant tea- 10

Total is 1018

I realize that this is low for my calories. I do want to stick to 1200 and 1400 if I've been extra active. I honestly wasn't hungry to have anything else and I'm not sure if it's smart that I force myself to eat either when I'm not hungry (which is very rare in my case).
By the way I don't post everything. I don't bother with no calorie stuff....water and black coffee.
Anyway I had a meeting after work both yesterday and today so tomorrow I plan to get back up to the calories I wanted to stay at and go for my speed walk at night. When I get home I'd like to do some stomach and waist exercises at least. Hopefully I can work up to the rest of it.
Hope everyone is doing well! I'll be popping into other journals to check you out. Thanks so much for doing that with mine :)
 
It sounds like you randomly picked the number 1200.

If you exercise you can safely multiply your weight in pounds x 15 calories to find your maintenance calories. Why not eat 20% less than that and lose and be happy? That way you will adhere to your program longer. Random slashing will not serve you in the long run.

This information helped me greatly as I did not know what I was doing in the beginning. Actually this information saved my efforts from dwindling. Good luck.
 
Hey

Happychubette,
When you do that calculation are you using your current weight or desired weight? The number I get when I use my current weight seems very high and I'm not sure it'd be possible to lose weight that way. But you're right. I don't think I could maintain the low calories I'm intaking. But I know my doctor told me that to lose weight I could go as low as 1200 without compromising body functions. I try to stick to this to get the bulk of the weight I want to lose off and will probably settle at around 1600 average per day once I've reached my goal.
Today
LUNA-180
banana-90
2 calcium chews-40
1\2 large spicey chilean sandwich-400
2 small apples-120
rice, cod filet with lemon and olive oil, asparagus-400
2 peices wheatabix soy milk walnuts and protein powder-280
Monster-20

Total- 1530

Ok so that was more calories than I wanted to stick to during the first stage. I felt really guilty about it but I went for a long speed walk and I feel better now. I still have a bit of indigestion which I usually get when I've eaten more than my body wanted/needed. I will do my best tomorrow but have a end of the year "big sisters" dinner (I volunteer with big sisters). I have no idea what they will be serving there but just plan to do the best I can by picking the lightest options and having no calorie drinks. If they do serve wine I'll just have one glass and no dessert. Since I have that after work I don't think I'll have time to go for my walk too. I'll just have to be as active a I can during the day and have a light lunch.
It's so hard to fit in exercise. I am meeting friends tomorrow right after work for...you guessed it....dinner. I find it hard to eat light when you are eating out all the time at small restaurants that don't offer nutrional information. You know even the lighter things are prepared with lots of oil. And I don't want to be the person that asks for it with no oil. Sometimes it's harder when you're not very overweight and your friends just think you have an eating disorder without realizing that you keep your weight stable by being careful.
 
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