i need help.

Britnee

Britnee

New member
i would love to make my first post something very catchy and clever and leave you all thinking that i am a very wonderfully fantastic young person who can light up the forum BUT i am in excessive turmoil and i really think i do need help. i was just lying in bed in a puddle of self loathing when i decided to get online and try to find a place to vent. so i typed in "weight loss forum" in google and found you all... hopefully someone will be compassionate (and bored) enough to read this someday...

i am 20. i hate myself for overeating. mostly because i promise myself pretty much every night that tomorrow i am going to start eating correctly and stop overeating and, most importantly, stop eating JUNK all the time and every single day i fail myself. miserably. i just get hungry and forget all my inhibitions and chow down only to find myself late wallowing in regret and hating myself.

i am not morbidly obese. or even obese. i weigh 160 lbs. but i seem to carry it sort of well. i am right between a size 8 and a 10. i want so badly to wear a size six. i feel like i would give my left arm to weigh 135 pounds. IS THAT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK!? i work in a clothing boutique where i have forbidden myself to buy another pair of jeans that isn't a 28. it's sort of a motivation but deep down i know that if i really want the jeans, i will buy them regardless.

and therein lies the trouble. two words SELF-DESTRUCTION. i don't believe in msyelf. and i don't know what is with that?! i have never been thru anything horribly traumatic in my life, i don't feel like there is any reason for me to be filling some sort of expansive black void with food like many people suggest. i just ABSOLUTELY HATE IT that i can't do this. does anyone have an idea why i want nothing more than to lose thirty pounds and yet i daily set myself up for destruction? i feel like i know everything there is to know. i know what to do. i just don't do it. WHY?!

i also feel that it is necessary to explain that i have struggled with bulimia for two or three years. and although i haven't purged in a while (i recently got my wisdom teeth removed) i have been tempted many times. i feel that it is the only way i can control myself... if i can't keep from eating, i can at least enjoy the food then get rid of it later... it's horribly warped, i know. and i wouldn't say i'm BULIMIC. i just experiment with it more than i am comfortable with.

so if you made it through that pathetic monologue and you don't think i should be caged up in an insane asylum for the remainder of my god given life, please humor me with a response. god knows i'll be up all night checking this damn thing.

thanks

brit
 
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Sometimes (I think for most young people) to change their attitudes they have to change their activity.

For most, the easiest way to do this is to join a gym. Once you make that commitment the eating properly part becomes easier.

Michael
 
I'm new to this site as well, and as I wandered around the site i came across your post. You have around the same weight range that you'd like to lose as I do and i figured i'd drop in and send some motivation your way.
I think the best thing to do when your trying to stay away from the junk food, is keep it out of your cupboards. When you go grocery shopping, make a list first that includes only healthy things. Use this diary to keep a food log. I know that is starting to help for me, because i'll feel guilty if i have to write something down that i probably shouldn't have eaten.
As far as exercising, try to fit a workout in around your schedule. If you set it in your schedule you can kind of force yourself to go at first, and then it becomes easier as it becomes more routine.
good luck with everything!!
 
So why do you always say to yourself, "Tomorrow is going to be the day I change"?

What's this telling your mind, subconsciously?

Our subconscious mind is where habits come from. It's the driving mechanism behind most behavior.

And what the above statement says to your subconscious mind is:

- Doing this isn't all that important.... if it were, I'd do it today

- This action that I know, consciously I want/need to take, will always remain in the future

You are constantly 'programming' your mind to keep this action in your mind as a future event.

I'll tell you one thing: As corny as it sounds, the time so start is today. Find some way of exercising consistently. As Michael (EP) said above, maybe you should join a gym to get this ball rolling. If that is not manageable right now, create a jogging program that you can do from home.

Weight loss is as simple as burning more energy than you consume.

So start burning more!

Action is going to be key here. But your thought processes are what's really holding you back and our minds create action.
 
I know exactly what you're going through. I felt that way for years. The thing was, I wasn't absolutely unhappy with my weight for a long time. during my 20s I wasn't at my ideal weight, but it wasn't so bad that I couldn't shop at regular stores, or that I was unattractive. So, I never took things seriously. Then in my 30s I started gaining weight pretty rapidly, and before I knew it, I was 110lbs overweight. I was in denial for a long time and avoided cameras. Then one day out of curiosity I weighed myself. The number staring back at me horrified me, and from that day, I never looked back. I think you have to reach a place where you finally say, "I'm going to do this. Not tomorrow, but right now." You have to find the motivation from within. I think you're not so uncomfortable with your current weight. You're not that heavy, so I think you're in the same mindset that I was at your age. It would be nice to be thinner, but you're not willing to do what it takes to get there. Losing weight is hard work and requires a lot of discipline. Also, I knew very little about diet and exercise back then. If I'd only known then what I know now, I would never have gotten to the point I did. I guess it's a choice you have to make--what means more to you--eating the food you want or losing the weight?
 
I don't know if you're overeating that much to be 160 pounds.

But either way, I think maybe the problem here is that the language you use
to talk to yourself is a bit backwards. Telling yourself "I will not overeat" is a bit like saying "I won't think of pink elephants." lol Instead of stating what you won't do, why not say what you will do? Saying "I will take my own lunch to work and will eat only healthy food" gives a much better guideline to how to act. Preparing your lunch at home is often a good idea too. If you take in a tuna sandwich on whole wheat bread, it'll fill you up faster so your eyes stay focused on what you're doing instead of on food. You can also try bringing in fruit like apples or oranges, or vegetables like carrots or pre prepared salads in tupperware dishes. Cheese and crackers are a good snack too.

It's very do-able to eat healthy during the day. Just takes a bit of preparation beforehand.

Good luck! :)
 
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