I hope I can....

hollybelle

hollybelle

New member
Age: 27
Gender: Female (Username, dead giveaway I know.)
Height: 5'-5”

Current Weight: 240, heaviest weight to date
Target Weight: 175, Not crazy, right? Only 65 lbs. *Face Palm* I am having trouble losing just one pound right now. Long road ahead.

I would love to get to 160lbs. I am very large boned, I know, I know, that's what we all say. But, truly, I am, so this weight might not be realistic for me, and that's ok, because, to me true happiness, isn't about being skinny, it's about being healthy. I am a curvy girl and I like that. I just want to be able to go up stairs without being winded, or tie my shoes without a struggle.

Time Frame: Tomorrow.
What's that? Oh that's not possible? Damn! I guess, 6-9 months hopeful, but more likely to be a year +. I would love, love, love to be 220 by the end of the year. So that's 20 lbs in a month and a half, a bit unreasonable I know, and maybe a bit unhealthy too, but I would love it.

Weight loss methods: Gym & Eating Healthy

Weight loss start date: Monday, November 18, 2013

Obstacles: Food!
Obvious I know. I have no trouble losing weight, when I diet it comes off quickly. So what's my problem you ask? I have absolutely NO commitment, I have no idea why, I Just can't keep my sneaky little hands off of the food. It's all I can think about. No joke, all day.

Then to top it off, I can't just accept that I made a mistake and try and do better the rest of the day. Nope, once I am bad this is what happens next, “Well, I have done bad, might as well continue, bring on the McDonalds, slim jims, soda, donuts and so on.”

I know I do these things, so why can't I stop myself?

I am hoping that having a place like this to discuss things, and learn from others experiences, as well as jotting down my own experiences in this diary I might be able to control myself and learn a few things.

I plan on going to the gym, and working out at home. I plan on trying to do a quick workout when bored instead of going to the fridge, or come here and occupy my time.

I also don't discuss my problems with people, I eat my problems away and internalize. I think having a place to jot some things down and get them out will help.

Coming here was admitting I have a real problem, and I feel strongly that I can do it this time. Tears wear streaming down my cheeks as I registered. I think I can, I think I can, will hopefully turn into I know I can.
 
11/18/2013: First Day
Today went well, to be expected I suppose, it is the first day. I must admit though by the end of the day I had felt and truly thought, that I had already been doing this ridiculous regimen for over a week. *Note to self, nope, just one day.*

I went to the gym in the AM, did 45 mins on the Elliptical and the ab machine, I wrote down all the food that I ate, managed to stay right at 1200 calories, go me! I also at lunch did a simple arm workout.

11/19/2013: Second Day
Another good day, easier than the first believe it or not. Again I jotted down the food I was eating, I did sneak in some chocolate. It was a 130 Calorie Skinny Cow carmel chocolate bar. But, I wrote it down and accounted for it, but more importantly I didn't say, "Awe, F it! I had candy, let's go off the wagon and eat 10,000 more calories." That's the big milestone for this day.

Did another good workout in the AM, 35 mins on elliptical, ab machine and thigh machines, the arm workout at lunch.

Tips for self:
1. Try to switch the gym up between morning and night, you know yourself, you know if you make yourself do early morning every day, you will quit, switch it up!
2. Try adding a simple workout before bed, maybe some calming yoga.
 
Welcome! And good for you for taking the steps and joining this forum and admitting you have a problem you cannot solve yourself.

Sounds like you have the motivation right now, and you know what you need to do, but you need help staying motivated and focused. Good job on not going overboard yesterday! That is a huge step and something to remember. You CAN treat yourself, but you must keep it in moderation. The odd chocolate bar is OK because it can help keep temptation at bay. Just remember to forgive yourself when you do go overboard, which many of us do at times. You have a long road ahead and chances are there will be ups and downs, you will slip up and want to quit, but that's when you come online and write it all out and hopefully the responses you get will help you keep going.

I love that you aren't trying to get "skinny" being healthy is the ultimate goal. Everyone wants to look good, sure, but if you are healthy and eating right and exercises the rest will generally follow. YOU CAN DO IT!!
 
Thanks Icy! Those were great tips, and something I will try and tell myself.

Yes, I do have the motivation right now, more motivation than I have ever had, but I know myself and I know how I get, I think this forum will be perfect to keep my head on straight and keep at it! :)

11/20/2013 - Third Day

Today was good/bad day. Before I started my diet this week, I already had a dinner date planned with my Aunt and Cousin for taco night. It was good because I didn't go crazy, but bad because I went far over the calories I wanted to stick to.

I have been trying to stick to a 1200 calorie diet, so what I did was I still had my breakfast, snacks, and lunch, but they were all very low calorie items, I didn't cut any meal out, and saved nearly half of my calories for dinner. To make it more healthy, she used lean hamburger, low fat cheese, and yogurt instead of sour cream. In the morning I had a great work out, and right before dinner we did a 35 min walk.

So I take it back, I call that a good day. I knew I was going to have a slightly off day and worked within my diet and exercise to not make it a lazy completely calorie filled day.

One thing I don't want to do is cut fun things like this out, I will start to feel angry and left out, so if I just work it in my diet, I think I will not feel deprived. I just wish it wasn't my third day in, just threw off my groove! Back I am back on it today!
 
Sounds like you did pretty good for Taco Night! Glad you were able to make it a little healthy with some substitutions from what you would normally do. And you got some exercise in too, yay!!

I think not cutting out "fun things" is very important. If you cut out too much and restrict yourself from eating/doing all those things you love you will end up failing and binging. It's better to cut back and do what you can to not go completely overboard when you do. And on those days you do go completely overboard, tell yourself it's OK and do better the next day.
 
icychic said:
And on those days you do go completely overboard, tell yourself it's OK and do better the next day.
Click to expand...

This is key!! This will also be one of my big struggles.

11/21/2013 - Great day, good workout, stuck to my diet, I am not feeling like I'm losing weight though, mostly because I get on the scale and it tells me i'm not. I think I need to get one of those fancy smancy flexible measuring tapes, and look at inches too. But I am not getting discouraged though, because 1. It hasn't even been a week, lol (I want results now!) and 2. I am already feeling better health wise. I can do more in my workouts, I feel better physically and mentally, I sleep better.

I hope I can keep up this optimism through the long haul! :) I think the forum with definitely help with that.
 
Welcome HollyBelle! It looks like you have a solid and reasonable plan and that you are making good progress so far. There are a lot of nice folks here and the support has really helped me out. A tape measure is a great way to see progress when the scale won't cooperate. It's pretty normal for me to stall or gain when I start up a workout, but my clothes will fit better or my measurements will stay the same or decrease. Good Luck!
 
Quercus said:
Welcome HollyBelle! It looks like you have a solid and reasonable plan and that you are making good progress so far. There are a lot of nice folks here and the support has really helped me out. A tape measure is a great way to see progress when the scale won't cooperate. It's pretty normal for me to stall or gain when I start up a workout, but my clothes will fit better or my measurements will stay the same or decrease. Good Luck!
Click to expand...

I have noticed the great members here, everyone is so supportive, it's a really great environment.

"When the scales won't cooperate" I like that.

To not get discouraged, I am going to take the fact that I feel healthier already as a win.
 
Welcome!! :) you seem very motivated so far! And it would be great if you could keep that same motivation and great attitude through this entire journey. BUT... I can say, thats not completely realistic. Truth is.... You're going to have ups and downs. You're going to slip up, you're going to get frustrated. And some days, you will just scream... I can't take it anymore!! I wanna give up!!!

The trick is, when you start feeling thay way, ask yourself... What good would giving up do? What was your original reason for starting this journey? Is your original goal still something you want?

I know you want results now! That's very common! Everyone wants to lose that weight overnight. But remember... you didn't gain all of it overnight! It took time. and it will take time to lose it!

I've tried dieting for years and after a few weeks, i said to hell with it and gave up. In the beginning I would give myself this huge goal. And that huge number that I wanted to lose just frustrated me. And it was taking way too long to reach it.
This time, I'm doing it differently. I do have that big goal to reach. But I break it up into a bunch of smaller goals. And I don't get as frustrated. Say your first goal is to lose 5 lbs.... Then 10 lbs. Or getting to 130, then getting into the 120s. And you can reward yourself for every small goal. Just don't use food as your reward! That doesn't help! :)
Buy yourself a new workout outfit or maybe a $5 movie at Walmart! Just something small!

Also, i saw that you are sticking to 1200 calories. That can be quite frustrating as well. I started out allowing myself between 1200-1800 calories. That way, if I stayed at 1200, great! But if I went a little over, I didn't get bummed out. Because I was still within my allowed calorie range. Slowly, you can minimize these. After a couple of months, change it to 1200-1600, then 1200-1400. But don't just restrict yourself to the one number!

Okay, I guess I will shut up! Lol good luck!
 
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br!na said:
Welcome!! :) you seem very motivated so far! And it would be great if you could keep that same motivation and great attitude through this entire journey. BUT... I can say, thats not completely realistic. Truth is.... You're going to have ups and downs. You're going to slip up, you're going to get frustrated. And some days, you will just scream... I can't take it anymore!! I wanna give up!!!

The trick is, when you start feeling thay way, ask yourself... What good would giving up do? What was your original reason for starting this journey? Is your original goal still something you want?

I know you want results now! That's very common! Everyone wants to lose that weight overnight. But remember... you didn't gain all of it overnight! It took time. and it will take time to lose it!

I've tried dieting for years and after a few weeks, i said to hell with it and gave up. In the beginning I would give myself this huge goal. And that huge number that I wanted to lose just frustrated me. And it was taking way too long to reach it.
This time, I'm doing it differently. I do have that big goal to reach. But I break it up into a bunch of smaller goals. And I don't get as frustrated. Say your first goal is to lose 5 lbs.... Then 10 lbs. Or getting to 130, then getting into the 120s. And you can reward yourself for every small goal. Just don't use food as your reward! That doesn't help! :)
Buy yourself a new workout outfit or maybe a $5 movie at Walmart! Just something small!

Also, i saw that you are sticking to 1200 calories. That can be quite frustrating as well. I started out allowing myself between 1200-1800 calories. That way, if I stayed at 1200, great! But if I went a little over, I didn't get bummed out. Because I was still within my allowed calorie range. Slowly, you can minimize these. After a couple of months, change it to 1200-1600, then 1200-1400. But don't just restrict yourself to the one number!

Okay, I guess I will shut up! Lol good luck!
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Oh yes I am very motivated, but I know myself, and how I have been in the past, I will slowly lose this motivation. That's why I decided to join a forum, be able to openly discuss my weight, any issues i'm having, as well as successes.

I really, really like that idea of small goals! I'm going to create a little calendar of realistic goals after i'm done this post.

I am also doing the 1200-1600 calorie thing, but I try to stick to the 1200 but will not punish myself or count it as a bad day if I go a bit over.
 
Welcome aboard Holly! It sounds like we have a lot in common. My starting weight was 250lb and I just broke the 200lb barrier a few weeks ago. I also had the same attitude of just snowballing on a bad day. It was a hard habit to break and I still struggle with it, but for the most part it is getting easier and easier. I also never discussed my desire to lose weight with anyone. I didn’t even want to lose weight for a long, long time because then people would know I was unhappy with myself. How dumb was that?! Finally it became a real matter of priority regarding my health so I started making changes, found this great forum, and the rest is history!

You’ve already gotten a lot of great advice so I don’t have much to add. Just take things one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to. In the beginning phase it’s always difficult, but once you can see the weight coming off and you can feel your stamina and overall health improving, it’ll get easier and easier to keep things moving in the right direction.

As someone who still has slip ups (last weekend I ate a whole bag of hershey’s cookies and cream candy bars in a day), try not to let it get you down too much. It really bothered me that I did what I did, but that was then and it’s in the past. There’s nothing I can do about it now so I just move forward getting back on track. It’s all we can do. Remember that you’re human and it’s going to happen.

One last thing, if you know that motivation is going to be an issue for you eventually, you might want to look into taking some classes or look for some DVDs you can do at home to keep things fresh and fun. If you like dancing, check into Zumba classes. I’ve heard that it’s a lot of fun, but I hate dancing so it’s not for me. Lastly, I still have days where I don’t want to exercise. On those days instead of thinking about how much I don’t want to do it, I just get up and do it! Once I get started I usually get right into it. :)

So anyway, sorry for being so long winded. Glad to have you here! Good luck reaching your goal! :)
 
MandyH said:
Welcome aboard Holly! It sounds like we have a lot in common. My starting weight was 250lb and I just broke the 200lb barrier a few weeks ago. I also had the same attitude of just snowballing on a bad day. It was a hard habit to break and I still struggle with it, but for the most part it is getting easier and easier. I also never discussed my desire to lose weight with anyone. I didn’t even want to lose weight for a long, long time because then people would know I was unhappy with myself. How dumb was that?! Finally it became a real matter of priority regarding my health so I started making changes, found this great forum, and the rest is history!

You’ve already gotten a lot of great advice so I don’t have much to add. Just take things one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to. In the beginning phase it’s always difficult, but once you can see the weight coming off and you can feel your stamina and overall health improving, it’ll get easier and easier to keep things moving in the right direction.

As someone who still has slip ups (last weekend I ate a whole bag of hershey’s cookies and cream candy bars in a day), try not to let it get you down too much. It really bothered me that I did what I did, but that was then and it’s in the past. There’s nothing I can do about it now so I just move forward getting back on track. It’s all we can do. Remember that you’re human and it’s going to happen.

One last thing, if you know that motivation is going to be an issue for you eventually, you might want to look into taking some classes or look for some DVDs you can do at home to keep things fresh and fun. If you like dancing, check into Zumba classes. I’ve heard that it’s a lot of fun, but I hate dancing so it’s not for me. Lastly, I still have days where I don’t want to exercise. On those days instead of thinking about how much I don’t want to do it, I just get up and do it! Once I get started I usually get right into it. :)

So anyway, sorry for being so long winded. Glad to have you here! Good luck reaching your goal! :)
Click to expand...

Thanks Mandy, as much as I want everyone to be perfect and not slip up, it's nice to hear that others do. It's good to hear how people fell off, but got right back on that horse, it's motivating. I have a Jillian Michaels and a hip/hop DVD at home, hip/hop DVD is not so great. But, you know what I have been wanting to try... *whispers* Strip tease/pole dancing class, I think that would be so much fun, and make me feel great.

Well I have great news!

Diet and exercise have done me well this week. 7.5lbs down!!!! Yay!! Very empowering, and motivating that number is.

240 down to 232.5, looks like my mini goal of 220 by the end of the year, might be more reachable than I originally thought.
 
I picked a hell of a time to start this diet, right before Thanksgiving, what was I thinking?

So, I didn't tell myself no on anything, I couldn't, it would just end very badly. So I ate everything in moderation and still went to the gym, I didn't count calories but I knew I would be eating some hefty meals at dinner time so I tried to eat better during the rest of the days.

I also forgot to mention something I will struggle majorly with. SODA!!!!!! I love it, I used to drink several a day, I wouldn't be surprised if some days I polished off a whole 2 Liter or more. So on top of some bigger meals this week, I had a few sodas, not 6 in a day but one with each meal.

All this being said, I still managed to lose 5 lbs! Really happy! If I hadn't though, I was prepared to say it was a tough, off week and that it was ok, and to do better this week.
 
Congrats on the successes so far.

I have a soda problem too. Mine is diet soda so it doesn't really hurt my weight loss, it's just really bad for you any way.
 
Welcome! Congrats on the progress! Your dedication and enthusiasm for your workouts is inspiring. Can't wait to get to my next workout now! :D
 
Struggling a bit more this week with food cravings then the first two weeks. Seem to be keeping them under wraps, but it's getting tough. I made a great meal tonight though that I will have left overs for, for tomorrow's lunch and dinner it was very satisfying and seemed to curb cravings for other things. It was chicken breast with honey bbq, rice and corn, all portioned out appropriately.

Still loving the gym though, for some reason I thought getting my butt there would be much harder than it is, I probably can thank my mom for that, she has been joining me most days.
 
It certainly helps to have a workout buddy. Struggling means you're fighting. Keep up the great work!
 
I was surprised at how much I enjoyed going to work out. Unfortunately not everyone has that experience but it sounds like you seem to be enjoying it too, so that's a plus.

Keep up the excellent work.
 
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