I have issues

J

josh 60

0
I've lost 60 lbs since 12/21/03. I still feel just as fat as before even though I know I've changed. I dont have self confidence. I stare at my self in the mirror and say i look good which helps some but i usually think that im fat and nasty. I think most of the ppl around me are. I have trouble with women becuase i always think im not her type or shes out of my league. I know things would be easier for me if i had confidence but thats easier said than done. can anyone help me out.

i think i was fatter than the 2001 pic butI dont have many pre 2004 pics because i hated having my picture taken.
I havent got a haircut lately cut because it keeps my head warm.
my legs look fat but they're more solid then they look.
I want a 6 pack.
 
First of all, congratulations on the loss! Thats great! Are you still working out?

Also what kind of stuff do you do in your free time.

You have every reason in the world to be confident in yourself. You've done something millions of people need to do, tried to do, and failed to do.


I'm not a psychologist, Im just an everyday guy, just like you. You have to fix the issue, we can't do it for you. We can, however, affirm the opposite of what you believe. You don't know me, I have no reason to lie to you or make you feel better about yourself. Im telling you that your perception of yourself is off. As much as its worth bro, your not fat and nasty. You look like a guy thats in pretty good shape.
 
If you would like to, post your training routine. Maybe some of us could help tweak your program, or if you'd like we could suggest some good programs. Post your diet while your at it.

You look fine, but you've gotta believe it before it's true.

DM
 
You really look fantastic...I think also you need to just focus on some activities that make you feel good...keep a positive attitude! How old are you?
 
Im 19 years old.

mondays, wednesday, and friday: full body workout (all except abs)
deadlifts, bench presses, shoulder presses, flys, skull crushers, preacher curls, and bent-over dumb bell rows. I try for 3 set of 10 on each exersize. Im mostly trying to build muscle mass.

2-3 of the remaining 4 days of the week i use the tread mill 5 min. warm up, 20 min. at 6 miles per hour, 5 minutes cool down. Im going to start doing ab work outs on cardio days. i don't like working my abs but im gonna have to deal with it if i ever want a 6 pack.


this is my usual diet

I try to drink about 120 oz of water daily
I havent drank any soda in about 8 months

breakfast:3 poached eats on wheat toast (i squeeze out as much of the yoke as i can), a glass of milk and sometimes a glass of 100% juice after i finish my breakfast.

snack: nutragrain bar or a fruit

lunch: a turkey sandwinch with mayonaise and cheese

snack: small handful of almonds

preworkout(about 30 min. before): 1/2 cup of fat-free cottage cheese, 6oz. can of white tuna in water or some other meat.

postworkout: 1 or 2 gatorades

Supper: my most unhealthy meal (spaghetti, meatloaf, steak, fried chicken, steak, etc.) sometimes with some kind of vegetable.
 
First off, From a girl, you look awsome, simple truth.

Second: Congrats on the weight loss!

Third: If you want a six pack to impress girls, don't bother, most don't like them (meaning the girls who would like you for who you are, not what you look like). If you want them for yourself, proper eating and exercise will help :)
 
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some whey protein after you work out, and some milk before bed does wonders for building muscle mass..
 
maria_camille03 said:
If you want a six pack to impress girls, don't bother, most don't like them (meaning the girls who would like you for who you are, not what you look like). If you want them for yourself, proper eating and exercise will help :)
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I found out that changing my apearance for the sole purpose to impress women doesnt work out too well. But Im hopeing that improving my appearance might distract them from some of my personality problems. Im also trying to gain some self-confidence. I'm sick of feeling like I'm average. It strange because i was talking to two of my female friends today and they both said the don't really like 6-packs. This is shocking to me because I thought most women find 6-packs attractive.
 
mreik said:
some whey protein after you work out, and some milk before bed does wonders for building muscle mass..
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I've always said i wanted to do this all natural but every one keeps on saying take whey protien.

I heard that I need to replace meals with protien shakes or else i'll gain fat and that prolonged use can cause kidney damage.

I dont want to replace meals with supplements and I plan on lifting wieghts for as many years as i possibly can i would rather do it the hard way and do it right the first time then to do it the fast easy way.

Im starting to get confused.
 
I don't take protien powder, though I'm going to start adding some to some oatmeal after my weight lifting workouts.

You don't have to use supplements, and the meal replacments are silly, in MHO, nothing is better than wholesome, healthy food in a clean diet.
 
no no no, im definatly not suggesting meal replacements. a healthy diet is better than anything else. & protein powder does not cause kidney failure, even over long term use. my father has used protein powder just about every day for just about 12 years, and ive been using it since 1999 non stop. anyways, you definatly don't need supplements, they just help. i have a lot of respect for people who prefer yo go all natrual, but whey protein speeds my recovery time greatly so i can get right back in the gym..

1.. 75% of girls could care less about abs
2.. ur not average, ur 6'4 (and grls love tall guys)
3.. and girls love confidence!! so keep ur head up
 
There is simply no scientific proof to back up that high protein causes kidney overload. All studies conducted were those that were already having kidney failure. Over at www.johnberardi.com he has articles in the nutrition area outlining peer reviewed studies that back up his claim that people do not get enough protein and that high levels of protein will not shut down the kidneys. You might hear this from a doctor but they are usually stuck in the 80's when it comes to nutritional performance.

It's not the six pack from working out that will attract the opposite sex, but your new found confidence. It's not the actual six pack that women like, but what it represents--that you care about and respect yourself enough to take care of yourself. Usually when someone has a well maintained body, the other areas of their life are in check and this shows maturity and stability as well as a strong mind, not just a strong body.

And by the way, being natural does not mean a lack of protein supplements.
 
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evolution said:
It's not the six pack from working out that will attract the opposite sex, but your new found confidence. It's not the actual six pack that women like, but what it represents--that you care about and respect yourself enough to take care of yourself. Usually when someone has a well maintained body, the other areas of their life are in check and this shows maturity and stability as well as a strong mind, not just a strong body.
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That makes sense. I mostly want a six pack for the confidence it will bring. I use to dream of having a six pack when I was obese.
 
2.. ur not average, ur 6'4 (and grls love tall guys)
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hear hear! Especially when most guys are shorter than said girls.


And by the way, being natural does not mean a lack of protein supplements.
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Or vitamen supplements. I'm a picky eater (sad, but true), so I don't get enough nutrients in the stuff I eat, so I need to take vitamin supplements, and they really help. That being said, supplements are not 'needed,' to get a good body.

Cheers! for doing it the natural way :)
 
Josh, remember that your body needs protein to build muscle mass. Most fitness experts believe you need 1 gram per lb of bodyweight (this has been debated to death too). It's difficult to get that amount of protein in your diet without inflating the amount of calories you take in also. Thats why protein powders are so great. You get the protein without all the excess carb and fat calories.
 
I think i might take protien powder just for PWO.
How many grams of protien/carbs./fat should a 220 lbs overwieght male get for PWO?
 
Back to the confidance subject I had the same problem in High School my first real girlfriend was two months before I graduated. Before that I really didnt even have any girls that were friends I talked to a few every now and then, and had tons of crushes, but no real girls as friends till my senior year. I dont worry about hittin on girls now because I love my gf to death now and we have been goin out happily for almost a year and a half now :).

As for feelin like girls are outta your leauge dont worry about it, I know thats hard to do and a lot easier said than done but its true. You look awsome and are extermly dedicated to being healthy. If you ask a girl out the worst thing that can happen is she says no. If she makes fun of you or laughs she was never worth it. And never base a relationship off of looks. My whole life I wanted a GF that looked like a model and I have known a lot of ppl to have women like that and either the guy was always upset and jealous of other guys hittin on her or the women was stuck up and felt she should get whatever she wanted (not saying all are this way jsut basing off of personal experiance with girls from where I live). But you need to not worry your 19, you have a long life ahead of you and you will find a girl.

A good way that helped me be more active in talking to girls was jsut talk to people every chance you get even if its saying hello, if your at a store and you see someone comin towards the door hold it for them, say hello or how you doin, start conversations with people at while standing in lines or when your paying a cashier.

I hope this makes sense lol its 3am :) and cant fall asleep but am dead tired...... :)
 
I feel like a dirty old lady saying this - but you really do look good!

As for the girls - they are probably 400% more self conscious about their looks than you are, so never let that get in the way.

Just be polite, friendly, and honest with the girls you like. Don't be afraid to ask a girl if she wants to go with you to a movie, lunch, a basketball game or whatever. Suggest something relatively casual & no-pressure. If she says no, try not to take it personally. The dating world can be cruel. Looks do matter to some people, but everyone has different preferences.
 
confidence boost

I meet a girl this weekend :D . We went on a date yesterday we get along extremely well, more so than any other girls I've meet. It seems like she excepts me for who I am. I cant wait to spend more time with her.

And onto the subject of fitness, deadlifts are awsome. I my pants fit a little loser and Ive been doing deadlifts for a week. Its awsome because im alread at my 36 inch waist goal. I might end up being a 34. lol The only thing I miss about being fat is staying warm in the winter. I'm glad its almost spring. Strict diets suck I wont be able to live the rest of my life like that. My diet cant be too unhealthy if I lost 60lbs without diet. I do need to get some whey protien.
 
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