I hate myself

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iluvgymnastics

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I've been seeing some very slow results, and am starting to feel really frustrated. For the past two days when I've looked in the mirror, instead of seeing what I've accomplished (which isn't much), or something good about myself I just think I'm ugly and I hate my body. Even at the gym I am extremely unmotivated. I even started to cry the other day. You might think hating my body and wanting to change it would make me work harder, but its having the opposite effect. What do I do? Please help.
 
I understand how being overweight, even a little bit, can upset you, but 15 pds isn't worth hating yourself...no amt of weight is. You REALLY need to work on thinking positivly! Instead of thinking "i'm a fat ass and I hate myself" why can't you think " sure, i've got some weight, but I'm still a great person and I'm gonna beat this!" People with positive, healthy self images tend to loose more weight than those who feed themselves negative hateful words.

If I were you (and I'm not) I'd open a new diary w/ a more positive headline and really work on positive self talk!
 
iluvgymnastics said:
I've been seeing some very slow results, and am starting to feel really frustrated.
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I'm going to put on my "mean Phoebe" hat for a moment, but I don't mean it personally. You are *not* seeing slow results. You have unrealistic expectations, and you are confusing water weight fluctuation with fat loss.

For example, on 11/13, you posted you were 145. Then on 11/14, you were 139, and on 11/16, 137. That's water weight loss, and it'll come back just as fast as it left, for reasons that have *nothing* to do with fat loss or gain - like eating a salty snack before bed or girly hormonal issues.

You're already "normal" weight by BMI, and so your goal ought to be very slow loss, in order to preserve your lean muscle mass. So one week in, you shouldn't be down more than a half pound IMHO - and that level of change just isn't visible on the scale in the short term, because of water weight fluctuations.

iluvgymnastics said:
when I've looked in the mirror, I just think I'm ugly and I hate my body. I even started to cry the other day. What do I do?
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Throw a towel over the mirror, so you don't look in it. I'd guess you're going to get your period in the next week or so, which would account both for water retention and general misery, at least for me. (I also notice a recurring pattern where exercising at a level I'm used to is much harder the week before my period - I just feel weak, if that makes sense.) Wait it out; this too shall pass.

iluvgymnastics said:
I want to be really fit and toned.
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What about putting the weight loss goal on hold for a while, and working on strength training? Girls don't have the right hormones to get big bulgy muscles, so don't worry about that. But some muscle development will make your body look less flabby, even at the same weight.
 
I know that is a long difficult way to lose weight. Something you feel so frustrated and you don't know what to do anymore. You can't see anything possitive about yourself. I used to have these kind of days quite often. But you shouldn't give up. Think about the aim which you have already reached. Or ask some friends why they like you so much or you partner why he loves you. Something like this really helps me not to see only the dark side, but also the possitive facts of me and my body!
 
Basing your entire self-worth on your exterior appearance is a very shallow way to measure it. I'd work on improving your inner self, and you'll see better results in the weight-loss dept. I also agree that weight training will do you more good than cardio.

Weight loss is 90% mental, imo--so you've got to fix your mentality before anything else. Negativity will get you nowhere.

Best wishes!
 
Hi, and thank you all for your input. I think I will try just weight training for a while. I really enjoy it, so that might help with the I don't want to be here feeling. Should I do just 10 minutes of walking or running either before or after, or none at all? The reason for such fast weight loss is simple. When I posted 145 it was at night after having eaten dinner. Then the following morning I was 139, which was not surprising to me... I always weigh quite a bit less in the morning. Then I was 137 in the morning after having done two really intense days of a lot of exercise. I don't think it's water weight, at least, I hope not.
I'll do my best with thinking more positive thoughts. I know I'm in a normal BMI range, but its still okay to want to change, right?

Another question: Do you guys ever reward yourselves for a job well done? Does it work? Does it keep you motivated?

Thanks in advance.
 
hey question here....you probably don't want both diaries open, it can get confusing...anyways, would you like to me merge this diary w/ your other one or would you just like me to close this one all together?
 
iluvgymnastics said:
When I posted 145 it was at night after having eaten dinner. Then the following morning I was 139, which was not surprising to me... I always weigh quite a bit less in the morning. Then I was 137 in the morning after having done two really intense days of a lot of exercise. I don't think it's water weight, at least, I hope not.
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That's pretty much the definition of water weight. :) You don't go to bed at 145 and wake up at 139 because your body burned 21,000 calories overnight; you do it because your body digested food and eliminated water. Likewise, you didn't have a 7,000 calorie deficit across your two days of exercise. And without that caloric deficit, you haven't lost fat; you've adjusted the water balance in your body. Now, you might have had a 2,000 calorie deficit across those days, or even a 2,500 calorie deficit, but that's between half a pound and 3/4 of a pound.

I'm not saying give up on cardio - exercise is good, and it'll slowly burn off the excess weight. I'm saying make the focus of your attention building muscle, not getting a lower number on the scale. It's certainly OK to want to change, no matter what your weight. :)

I personally don't use any particular rewards, other than "now I can fit into X outfit I couldn't wear before." But I don't restrict myself particularly, either. If I want something enough that I'll take the consequences of it, I have it. If not, then not.
 
When you weight 260 pounds then have something to complain about LOL.
I've been on a diet for 2 weeks and I can notice a difference.
It takes TIME!
It hurts and its painful but in the long run just think of all the hell you went thru too look fabulous! =D
 
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