It's been about 8 months now since I have lost over 150 pounds. 6'5 270 now, was 440 at one time.(I'm 19 birthday is in October) It's been a long and daunting task to get to where I am, one that I often times forget, caught up in this new self image I have created...necessary to become who I am today. A self image that I might never live up to, one that has grown many times since the time it was invented. It seems that every time I finally feel like I have lived up to that image, a new one is created. The people who I find attractive now have completely changed, someone I found to be attractive at one time, no longer seem as beautiful as I remember them. I now have to compare myself to male models, I figure I am at least somewhat attractive at times because I was hired at A&F and have heard a few people mention how attractive I am...once a random lady at wal-mart said I was really cute and even hugged me and gave me a kiss, lol. I get weird perverted smiles from women sometimes, sometimes innocent smiles, but none of that matters. Is this just me realizing I have reached my limit in terms of appearance? I'm no longer satisfied when I look into the mirror most of the time, although sometimes I catch a glimpse of me that matches the new image in my head...Only to remember that in the end it doesn't matter, I know how hideous I look without a shirt. Who cares if when I have a shirt on it looks like I might have a 6 pack, and nice pecs, in the end I know whats really there. All the loose skin, and the damage that was done from being so overweight all of my life until now. That's what kills me inside. All of this work, all the energy spent...has led to this. Not only did I succeed in loosing weight I also succeeded in becoming a living lie. Oh and I just love it when I hear the occasional, "oh you don't look like you work at abercrombie" (people at work who see me in my terrible tucked in shirt that is insanly baggy) although I have heard the "oh, you totally have the look like you work there"(from women 20+) Or when my best friend said that I have nothing now that I didn't have back then...maybe they are right... Long story, thanks to those who read it. I don't know what to do anymore, all I think about everyday is if people around me can notice the loose skin I have at my abdomen. I work as a server where I have to tuck in my shirt and all I can think about is if they can see the skin.. making sure my shirt is baggy enough. I think about how great I would have looked if I wasn't fat all my entire life...all the damage I did unkowningly, I feel like should have never been like that to begin with and that my entire life has been one big mistake. Walking without my shirt off is a privilege I will never have. Thanks again, any motivational words or advice you can share with me would be greatly aprreciated!
I feel alone, having so much to deal with after weight loss.
- Thread starter br33d
- Start date
hey guy,
I haven't lost quite as much weight as you, I have lost 115lbs, but I know exactly what you are talking about. I dont have massive amount of loose skin because I have been lifting for a while now, but trust me I know what your talking about with the taking off the shirt thing. I refer to myself as the world's skinniest fat guy. I was at one of the hottest pool party's in Miami last sunday and this girl was all into me, but begging me to take off my shirt to go into the pool with her and her girlfriends.. I am a good conversationalist and talked my way out of it, but man was it killing me on the inside. I think the biggest thing is you have to just be happy with you. In life it isn't about how attractive your partner is (yes we would all love a hottie), but its more important how they compliment your life. Focus on how much you have achieved so far in your life with your weight loss and let that be your motivation to take over the world. Don't worry about what people think about you. People think what you let them. Keep on trucking my man, as you get older you'll start to care less about what people think.. trust me.. I wish I hadn't waited till my late 20's to loose all my weight, I feel like I missed out on so many opportunities because of my weight. I talk myself out of that funk when I think about it though, reminding myself that with the weight I lost I just gave myself a few more years to enjoy life and make up for lost time. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk!
I haven't lost quite as much weight as you, I have lost 115lbs, but I know exactly what you are talking about. I dont have massive amount of loose skin because I have been lifting for a while now, but trust me I know what your talking about with the taking off the shirt thing. I refer to myself as the world's skinniest fat guy. I was at one of the hottest pool party's in Miami last sunday and this girl was all into me, but begging me to take off my shirt to go into the pool with her and her girlfriends.. I am a good conversationalist and talked my way out of it, but man was it killing me on the inside. I think the biggest thing is you have to just be happy with you. In life it isn't about how attractive your partner is (yes we would all love a hottie), but its more important how they compliment your life. Focus on how much you have achieved so far in your life with your weight loss and let that be your motivation to take over the world. Don't worry about what people think about you. People think what you let them. Keep on trucking my man, as you get older you'll start to care less about what people think.. trust me.. I wish I hadn't waited till my late 20's to loose all my weight, I feel like I missed out on so many opportunities because of my weight. I talk myself out of that funk when I think about it though, reminding myself that with the weight I lost I just gave myself a few more years to enjoy life and make up for lost time. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk!
Shy219
New member
Well I haven't lost as much weight, but I wanna give my opinion.
You got dealt a bad hand, and you turned it into good. Like I feel like I became heavy
to loose it so I can inspire other people who are having a hard time, now in reality
that may not be the case but that's the way i look at it so I can see the postiive. No one is
looking at your loose skin, you lost so much weight your such an accomplishement
not many people can say they have done that and stuck with it. Be proud of who you are
look in the mirror and tell yourself your ok with yourself, because no one will be ok with it
until your ok with it. Everyone has there flaws.
Just keep doing what your doing. Don't get down over something like that, just
shine through with yourself, and no one will even notice it or care about it.
Best of luccck ((=
You got dealt a bad hand, and you turned it into good. Like I feel like I became heavy
to loose it so I can inspire other people who are having a hard time, now in reality
that may not be the case but that's the way i look at it so I can see the postiive. No one is
looking at your loose skin, you lost so much weight your such an accomplishement
not many people can say they have done that and stuck with it. Be proud of who you are
look in the mirror and tell yourself your ok with yourself, because no one will be ok with it
until your ok with it. Everyone has there flaws.
Just keep doing what your doing. Don't get down over something like that, just
shine through with yourself, and no one will even notice it or care about it.
Best of luccck ((=
mizzie
New member
I can't say that I know what you are going through (yet), but don't stress over it too much. You are young, your skin will tighten up. It might take some time, but skin does go back. Just ask any mother in the world, they all don't live with sagging belly skin the rest of their lives.
KaraCooks
New member
Wow. 
Ok, first of all, I just have to say that I find your post REALLY hard to read - all squished together w/out any paragraph breaks or anything. I really struggled to understand what you were saying. Just as a word of advice, people will respond better if your posts are easier to read.
Ok that said there are a few things that leap out at me in your post:
Why? Because of how you LOOK?
Do you really think that everything you are, everything you achieve, everything that you are worth is based on your appearance?
Sure, I get angry at myself that I let myself gain so much weight and kept it on for so long. I have loose skin. I have stretch marks. Those things will never go away for me - I'm in my 40s and although the marks will fade some and the skin will tighten some, it will never be gone. But you know what ... that doesn't mean I'm not worthwhile as a human being. It certainly doesn't make my life a lie or a mistake.
If you really believe that your whole value as a human being is based on a little loose skin around your middle ... I truly and honestly believe that you need professional help - and far more help than people on this forum can provide for you. I am in no way saying that to be mean or harsh or cruel ... but to be honest. I would encourage you to find a counselor to talk to to help you work through some of the negative feelings you have about yourself.
Ok, first of all, I just have to say that I find your post REALLY hard to read - all squished together w/out any paragraph breaks or anything. I really struggled to understand what you were saying. Just as a word of advice, people will respond better if your posts are easier to read. Ok that said there are a few things that leap out at me in your post:
I'm going to be very blunt - it seems to me that you're obsessed with appearance over all else to judge a person's value. You talk about no longer finding others attractive, living a lie, that your whole life is a lie, that your whole life is a mistake ... etc., etc., etc.
Why? Because of how you LOOK?
Do you really think that everything you are, everything you achieve, everything that you are worth is based on your appearance?
Sure, I get angry at myself that I let myself gain so much weight and kept it on for so long. I have loose skin. I have stretch marks. Those things will never go away for me - I'm in my 40s and although the marks will fade some and the skin will tighten some, it will never be gone. But you know what ... that doesn't mean I'm not worthwhile as a human being. It certainly doesn't make my life a lie or a mistake.
If you really believe that your whole value as a human being is based on a little loose skin around your middle ... I truly and honestly believe that you need professional help - and far more help than people on this forum can provide for you. I am in no way saying that to be mean or harsh or cruel ... but to be honest. I would encourage you to find a counselor to talk to to help you work through some of the negative feelings you have about yourself.
Thank you very much, all the replys have been very helpful. I know I'm being vain, its just that I've wanted to look good so bad my entire life. I can still fake like I have nothing wrong with me as good as the next guy but when it gets down to the basics I just feel this is what is truely holding me back. It's been very difficult to try to live up to what I think everyone see's me as.
I'm going to try very hard to not care what people think and tell myself that I was delt a hand but have improved it so much, and that I have learned so much throughout my weightloss journey.
I'm going to try very hard to not care what people think and tell myself that I was delt a hand but have improved it so much, and that I have learned so much throughout my weightloss journey.
pantheist462
New member
hey br33d, i know exactly how you feel dude. I'm in a similar situation. I have no fat in my face, so my looks are all in tact, but I have a disgusting flabby upper body. It's constantly in the back of my head, and most of the time I feel like crawling out of my skin. Where our situations differ is that I'm only 50-60 lbs over weight and my skin will probably pull back just fine....Your skin might too I really don't know about all that. But all I can really say for you dude, is that it really helps to have a sense of spirituality. I don't know if you believe in God or anything, but I'm a pantheist, and in my set of beliefs I believe that everything happens for a reason..and if you're stuck with the loose skin, you're meant to be stuck with the loose skin, that you have to figure out a way of dealing with it. Your soul wants you to be with that loose skin, so your mind will be faced with overcoming and conquering the ego with all its vanity...your soul mate won't care about your bodies loose skin...screw all the other girls...screw the world and their beliefs and judgments....it's about you. YOU HAVE to love yourself and every moment of life because we have such precious little time on this planet.
chinchal82
New member
never mind friend, the great thing is that you have lost the weight and i know that you rather to have the skin than all that fat i my self is a working progress just take it easy and give God thanks that you have got this far.