I don't want to do this alone.

M

Montgomery

New member
July 21, 2016
(1st entry)

The problem (the one I can identify at least) is the simple fact that I love to eat. I derive great pleasure in the act of eating. I'm not a foodie who savors the flavor and presentation of a meal. I just simply enjoy putting food in my mouth, chewing, and swallowing. It doesn't really matter what the food is or if it even tastes good. For the minutes while I eat, my brain tells my body to keep up the experience. When I am done with the food in front of me, I experience a moment of sadness, not over what I have done, but over the end of my food. If I am near a food source, I will quickly return to the food over and over, until my mind switches over to remorse. Sometimes it takes minutes. Sometimes it takes hours. Before I eat, I know that I will regret the act once I have finished, but the anticipated joy can't stop me from eating. I eat these snacks (I should say meals as they are usually as large as, if not larger than, what I eat in a meal) in private/secret so that I am not discovered.

Now about me.

I am a 35 yr old man.
I am a husband.
I am a new father.
I am a teacher.
I love to run (I have finished 2 marathons), but I haven't run since the beginning of January - right after the baby was born.
I am a Catholic - by choice, not birth (I was 27 when I was baptized.
I am 5'9" and 208.2 pounds.
I weighed 23 pounds less the day my daughter was born (December 16, 2015).
I have twice before successfully lost weight. The first time was over the course of 8 weeks before a cruise (I did Weight Watchers - no meetings, just points). The second was after I had my gallbladder removed (while I lost 20 pounds in a month, I looked horrible). Each time I gained it back and then some.

I want to be healthy.
I am ashamed of what I have become.
I don't want to do this alone.
 
Hi Montgomery,

Welcome. I recently joined as well and it has been a really good experience for me so I hope you find the same.

Please don't feel ashamed of yourself. We have all put on weight for one reason or another and it just sounds like food is a really good comforter for you at the moment. The journey is not only about weight loss but why we needed to comfort in the beginning. I am tackling the same problem at the moment...eating instead of recognising what's going on for me. So good job on joining.

The other good thing I noticed you say is you've lost weight before which means you know the feeling of losing weight and you already know some of your hurdles that may trip up your journey. Might be an idea to refresh your memory if that seems like a good idea?

Best of all you aren't doing this alone when you are on here. People understand the up's and down's of this journey (in more ways then one...haha;)) so there is plenty of advise and encouragement.

looking forward to walking your journey with you. :)
 
Florence,
Thank you for the reply. I have always tried to do this alone, and maybe that is why I have never found lasting success. I have been looking for a support group for some time now (one I don't have to pay to be a member of - paying for support just feels impersonal). I hope I have found the right place.
 
Hi and welcome to the forum!! You won't be alone here! Maybe you could start a diary to keep track of your food, exercise and general ramblings :)
 
Hi Montgomery & welcome to the forum. You have more in common with most of us than you may think. "Comfort eating" or eating our feelings, is one of the most common reasons most of us gained our excess weight in the first place. Having a baby changes your world. It has to really, but it does take some getting used to. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Now is the time to establish a healthy lifestyle that will be the best example to your child. I made the mistake of talking about & going on diets & criticising myself in front of my sons when they were growing up. I can't undo that now, but I sure can say it's a big mistake. Not only is it bad for you, but it creates a bad image for your children. One of my sons has had serious body dysmorphia & I feel responsible for that. It is important that you care for yourself as best you can & if that requires seeing a counsellor, as I did for a while, then that is not a bad thing. Meanwhile, you have come to a friendly & supportive community, who do not judge one another. I wish you well. You can do this. Cheers, Cate.
 
July 27, 2016
(2nd entry)

I have never kept a weight loss diary before. I looked through some of the ones here, and i noticed something that I don't think I will be doing here: many diaries have a listing of good food choices made throughout the day. I have tried many times to track the food I eat, and have found the process makes me hungry. What works best for me is making conscious decisions to eat less of whatever I happen to be eating and attempt to avoid eating too much of the "bad stuff." The only food I am outright avoiding is bread due to a recently diagnosed allergy to yeast molds.

So, today I am 204.4 lbs. - down 3.8 lbs. from last time, but I don't take too much stock in the first week of any weight loss journey. I can lose the first few pounds rapidly, because I normally eat way too much. The past few days were good. I think I ate well, and when I did snack, I tried not to eat too much (some snacks were bad like cookies, brownies, Rice Krispie treats, ice cream). I feel pretty good, and the discomfort I usually feel in my side when I have gained weight is subsiding (of course, the omeprazole is probably helping this).

Hopefully I can come back here more frequently.
 
Hi Montgomery,

I 100% agree. Your diary is for you so write whatever is going to work best for you. I don't write down my food at all. I am finding that my weight loss journey seems to be more about dealing with the issues that are around my weight. I have pretty much the same plan as you. Portion control and trying to keep the sometimes foods to a minimum. I do make sure I have a little of the sometimes foods as I have gone cold turkey a few times before and end up eating way too much later.

Even if you jump online and write a sentence about your day I think it will help. Don't be concerned with writing heaps and heaps. Whatever you need is what you should do. :)
 
Agreed. It's about learning a new mindset, I think, more than what exactly you eat on any given day. But diffetent strokes for different folks and all that.
 
:iagree: with Florence & LaMa. Your diary is your personal space. Treat it as such & put whatever you like. I rarely share what I actually eat, but many do. It really doesn't matter. I think it's good that you have joined us & I also think it's good that you are sharing a little of yourself with us. You are very welcome :)
 
Montgomery, I too am a private eater. It isn't that anyone shames me for eating a certain way, but in my mind I'm afraid they will.

I've always heard people say not to hide your eating so that you can be held accountable, but I am in a situation where the people around me really don't pay attention to what I'm putting in my body. I kind of wish that I had someone to slap my hand when I'm doing poorly but that's just something that would help me personally. :p
 
Mowens1984 said:
Montgomery, I too am a private eater. It isn't that anyone shames me for eating a certain way, but in my mind I'm afraid they will.

I've always heard people say not to hide your eating so that you can be held accountable, but I am in a situation where the people around me really don't pay attention to what I'm putting in my body. I kind of wish that I had someone to slap my hand when I'm doing poorly but that's just something that would help me personally. :p
Click to expand...

Good food for thought Mowens. I've never thought of it as hiding food before. For me if I concentrate too much on the food I think it triggers me and I end up eating more but I've never thought about the hiding aspect of food and eating. Given me lots to ponder. :)
 
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