I don't really want to talk about it...

Hilarious! Yay, your mum!

Today was the first day in months I haven't weighed myself. Feels weird to not know precisely how fat or otherwise I am. I can't believe I'm still stalled. It's so frustrating, but at least I'm stalled and eating mayonnaise rather then stalled and eating oats and feeling hungry all the time. Okay, I kinda am still hungry all the time, but not as bad -- it doesn't control me, and when I want a snack these days I'm not limited to celery.

My meat intake has evened out as well which is a relief -- I can square meat eating ethically, but ow, my wallet! I'm making mac and cheese for tea tonight for my boy, and I'm going to do cauliflower cheese for me. No extra effort as I can steam the cauli over the pasta, and we can even eat out of the same dish!

Okay, I looked up Oopsie rolls -- they're a bread substitute! I was picturing a tortilla, don't ask me why. And, there's a recipe, hooray! I can't afford cream cheese 'til next week (student life, lol), and I don't have an egg beater, just a whisk so fluffing those eggies might be quite the mission...



Ingredients

* 3 large eggs
* 1 g Splenda granular (1 packet)
* 1 dash salt
* 1 pinch cream of tartar
* 3 ounces cream cheese (Do not soften!)

Directions


1
Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

2
Separate the eggs and add Splenda, salt, and cream cheese to the yolks. Use a mixer to combine the ingredients together. In a separate bowl, whip egg whites and cream of tartar until stiff (if you're using the same mixer, mix the whites first and then the yolk mixture). Using a spatula, gradually fold the egg yolk mixture into the white mixture, being careful not to break down the whites. Spray a cookie sheet with non-stick spray and spoon the mixture onto the sheet, making 6 mounds. Flatten each mound slightly.

3
Bake about 30 minutes (You want them slightly softer, not crumbly). Let cool on the sheet for a few minutes, and then remove to a rack and allow them to cool. Store them in a bread sack or a ziplock bag to keep them from drying out.

4
Makes 6@ about 85 calories a piece, >1 carb per.

Okay, another dumb question... what's with the sweetener? Do these taste sweet? I guess I'll find out next week!
 
So yesterday I was stuffing envelopes, swearing quietly at the letters that didn't quite fit, and just feeling terrible. I was cranky, clumsy, distracted and slurring my words. Most of all I was cranky because I was suffering through these feelings and not loosing weight. I could do cabbage soup for a few days, I thought. Or, I could not eat for a day and a half, if I could manage it. My metabolism must be so broken by now that that's about all that'd do it... Freakin' metabolism... I told myself to be calm and I could have my salad in half an hour, and no I couldn't have a cookie because we were going out later and the hosts don't believe in greens. I just felt so board by the whole thing. All the effort without the reward. Stupid metabolism, I thought again. All at once, I decided: I am going to eat normally for a couple of days. It feels so amazing to commit to not panicking over what I eat. I will try and shock my metabolism into working at a normal pace. I ate a cookie. Take that! I said to myself. I felt kinda sick.

I bought the Atkins book that afternoon. I had been eating too many vegetables. I felt like crying. Too much cabbage had been sabotaging my weight loss.

I had my old low-gi ceral for breakfast -- with milk -- and toast for lunch, and yogurt for a snack, and I polished off those jelly beans (so now they're out of the house!). We're getting pizza tonight. I've got a birthday dinner to attend tomorrow night, and then I'm going to start low carb again, properly, and this time it'll work god damn it. No real shift on the scales for the binge yesterday (I should note: I bought scales when flat broke, and got the cheapest pair. I can't actually see the kilo divisions on the dial, only the five-and-ten kilo ones. While this does stop me from freaking out over the number -- what number? I can't see any numbers! -- I probably should have waited a week and bought a better set). I figure, worst case I'll gain up to three kilos with water retention, probably more like one, and that should melt away at once because my metabolism will be reset.

Yeah, I know my plan is half-baked, but I'm not going nuts enough to do myself any lasting harm, and I'm starting again on Sunday with roasted chook and no traitorous cabbage. You know what they say -- eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
 
Keep plugging away hun. So long as you haven't given up then all hope isn't lost :D

Perhaps stuffing envelopes is a tad to stressful for you ;) jk

I think your doing just fine from what i've been reading.

Best of luck
 
Thanks Serenity! Stuffing envelopes is nasty. Upper management takes great pleasure in telling me that that's how they started out and then laughing in my face when I tell them that there are machines that can fold now. I'm cheaper then a robot, I guess.

This morning the scale said I lost half of that kilo I gained on my binge (take that, cake!). My boy has come round entirely, possibly because I made him like a kilo of gnocchi. Now we've got lots of carbs on hand for him, carbs that I can't take, oh just one bite won't hurt of -- potatoes + white flour might be okay for him, but not me!

I'm thinking quiche for tea tonight, yum!
 
Hooray, I lost the other half of that kilo I gained! (I'll see you in hell, low fat cereal!)

In two days, I have erased the excess of three. Awesome. Big time temptation on its way tonight: I'm going out to a friends house, and the email said "supper provided". Like hell, I'm eating before I go, and tonight that is prawns I'm going to fry in butter with capsicum, yum. (That's bell pepper to you Americans... I used to confuse holidaying yanks when I waitressed. "You put capsicum on pizza?" Yes, now tip me, damn it.)

Fish was on sale, so tomorrow we're having fresh salmon, which, would ya believe it, I've never had before. Nom nom nom, dieting.
 
Edit: this response was to one of your earlier posts.. man i can't read lol.

Glad to hear your doing well. Best of luck at your friends house. Will power you'd be suprised how much it helps and when people notice they are usually very encouraging. I always love the look on peoples faces when they're like "that's all your having? No second helping?" and i'm like "nope" without even batting an eyelash. ;) And you end up making yourself believe what your saying cuz lets face it you really wanted that second helping lol.

So below this line was that response I was talking about lol. Don't mind it if things are better.
______________

Probably one of the hardest things to experience is having your partner not stand by your decisions in life. My question would be is he a heavier set man? Perhaps he's seeing your new found drive to be umm how do I put this intimidating. I mean this by the fact that perhaps he wishes he had that will power to want to loose some weight. Men will always say oh your fine the way you are well most will. They're really relaxed especially after your together (engaged or married or just plain old dating) What I would ask my fiance is would you have dated me knowing that I would get to this weight. Just seeing me anywhere would you take that chance.

It's all about how we see ourselves in the mirror. We have to deal with that person staring back at us 24/7 and deal with any problems that may arise because of weight issues. You are very right in being worried about diabeties. It is not a fun disease to have and I have seen it really change my fathers life. He's a bigger man and it's really hard for him to diet because he feels like he's starving himself. He's been in the hospital because of low blood sugar on numerous accounts. It really runs your life, so if you can get a head of the game and try to prevent it now your better off doing that.

I am blessed to have my fiance's support and don't' know what I'd do without that. It's motivation and since I joined here it's the extra kick in the rear I need.

Your significant other really needs to understand this is something that makes you happy and his support would mean the world to you. He doesn't need to go out and work out with you but just having the support does so much for a person it's really inexplicable.

Keep pulling those toppings off that pizza, this is your body we're talking about and your health no one elses. If your man wants to wave the wedding over your head and say maybe we shouldn't get married.. well that is just a silly thing to say, very immature on his part. If that's what he wants then perhaps maybe that's a tell tale sign. If he won't support you in this weight loss task what else won't he support you in. Being a couple is about always being there giving advice, being honest but at the end of the day always being respectful of eachothers wishes and always being supportive. I hope things turn around as far as the man goes.

Your doing just great and don't let anyone tell you any different. Just pick up the eating habits and you'll be on your way to being happy with what you see every day. The scale doesn't always tell the truth . The truth lays in how you feel and how your cloths feel on you. If your noticing you can go up stairs and don't get winded as quick as you used to that's progress.

Take care hun,

Serenity
 
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Thanks, Serenity! Your words of support mean so much to me. I turned down wine ("Pancake? Turn down wine?" said the friend. "This is unheard of!" I thought carefully. "You know, I think it is."), coke, pineapple which was presented as being especially for me (everyone else liked it), and cake. I scraped the salami and cheese off a little baked thing, and screwed the rest up in my serviette. Friend wants to loose weight as well, so we're going to go walking together.

I have a family dinner tonight, but I'll just do the best I can. I'll not drink, snack before I go so I don't eat all the chippies, go for the best options I can at dinner, and try not to eat dessert ("But Pancake, you must try the chocolate cake! So and so was in the kitchen all day baking it!"). Worst comes to worst, I'll slip up and start again tomorrow.

My man has come around nearly completely to my new way of eating. I don't know what changed his mind; maybe he saw how serious I was about this, and that he was more likely to loose me by fighting me then by going along with me. He's not a big fellow -- quite the opposite. He weighs less then I do -- I think he weighs less then I will at my goal weight -- he has one of those speedy metabolisms which I am wearing down with constant application of home cooking. I think he thought I was pretty boring when I was unhappy about my weight -- I think I am, all I can say some days, "Oh god, I'm the size of the sun itself!" -- and I think I convinced him that being a little smaller would make me a little happier, so long as I don't mess with his precious pizza again...

Not eating certain things is like giving up a part of myself though. Not baking. I've always considered baking to be an important part of my cultural heritage -- central to my idea of myself, a way of tapping into history. It's weird not to do it, and roasting a bit of salmon just isn't the same.

Having said that, I AM WINNING! I'm just a shade over 64 kg. I had bacon and eggs to celebrate (something I haven't had since I disastrously tried this diet the last time), and then cleaned mould off the ceiling. Whoop whoop whoop. More energy for household chores!

I'm so stoked to defiantly be loosing! I've been ticking off events that I'd like to be thin for. I thought the closest one was graduation next March, but, oh crap, that friend from above is organising, of all things, a high school reunion. I hated high school, but I've promised to help out. It all seems so unnecessary. It's only been four years for christsake, and this is a pretty small city. That's in November. And before that I've got a n art show in September. And I'm doing a public art performance in August, which is oh crap, next month. I'm going to go for September as my goal. That's so achievable! I'll only have to loose about a kilo a week to do it, and if I stay on induction for a little longer then this next week...

So that's my life! I gotta update this thing more often: it was nearly on the fifth page!
 
Went shopping yesterday, as I have no clothes. I've gotten rid of all my fat stuff, but being so-close-yet-oh-so-far from my goal weight I hadn't replaced anything. I have one skirt, one dress, one pair of jeans. Makes getting dressed for work a real challenge!

The numbers on the tags are all screwy, have you noticed that? I tried on a size eight (which here is the second-smallest size) and it was too loose (but it was in the old lady store so that probably explains it), and after looking and being disappointed by everything in teen stores (charcoal and black office wear, and "retro" hoodies and nothing else), I went to the op shop and graped a lovely pleated woolen skirt. I didn't try it on, but the label said 10, so I thought it would be okay. I tried it on at home (I don't like op shop change rooms, and the clothes are so cheap, and the cause is so good, it doesn't matter if they don't fit), and it was too tight. It buttoned, but I had muffin!

My going out went fine as well. I turned down the wine to everyone's confusion ("Really? Are you sure?"), skipped dessert, which I'm not sure anyone noticed, and had ham, green beans, and baby corn for my dinner. My finance's grandmother pulled me aside and told me that I looked lovely but not to loose anymore or else I might fade away into nothing. "I won't," I said, meaning I won't fade away into nothing, not that I'll stop short of my goal weight just when this is finally working again, "there's no chance of that!" I must have done okay because I lost again this morning: just a tad under 64! Two kilos in six days, whoop whoop whoop!

And my muffin is gone in that skirt. At this rate, I'll be able to wear it to work next week.
 
Still at 64. I think I bumped myself out of whaddaya call it -- ketosis. Too many salads again! Damn damn damn damn. Still, two kilos in a week when in six months I hadn't lost a thing is pretty good! I'm measuring my lettuce leaves until I'm at my goal!
 
Yep I'm just going to keep coming by to pester, in hopes that this sends you an email notice :D If not I guess when you'll just come back to a pile of silly posts from me, lol. Anyway come back, we miss ya!!! ~Lisa
 
Great crustless quiche recipe

I found this on a South Beach Diet site years ago when I tried doing the diet....I used to have it in the mornings before I went to the gym and it was awesome. I just heated up and left and was good until my mid morning snack. If you want to add a bit of kick to it add a bit of sauce with bite to it..I occasionally added a small amount of worcester sauce to it, or even the tiniest big of hot sauce just to give it some bite. I absolutely loved this recipe and want to start making it again...just need the casserole dish...lol

1 1/2 cup diced veggies
1 1/2 cup sharp cheddar
2 oz Canadian Bacon
8 eggs
1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese.
Salt and Pepper.

Spray a pie plate well with butter flavored spray. Spread the chopped veggies on the bottom, top with the canadian bacon and cheese. Beat the eggs and cottage cheese together, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and pour over the stuff in the pie plate. Bake at 325 for about 40 minutes, let cool for about half an hour then slice and remove from pan to wire rack to prevent the bottom from getting soggy. When completely cool, put into individual containers and refrigerate. Nuke on high for about 1 minute when ready to eat.
 
Tried your Oopsie Rolls

Hi Pancake Batter,
Wanted to thank you for the Oopsie Rolls. My mom and I tried them out and after making them decided to turn them into strawberry shortcake - put strawberries with sweetner and a little light cool whip on top - that was great.

Then we decided they also made good pancakes with some sugar free syrup!

I think their uses and variations are probably endless. I'm thinking of using that to make a "crust" around spinach quiche or something.

Thanks for posting the recipe!
 
Hi Pancake Batter,
Wanted to thank you for the Oopsie Rolls. My mom and I tried them out and after making them decided to turn them into strawberry shortcake - put strawberries with sweetner and a little light cool whip on top - that was great.

Then we decided they also made good pancakes with some sugar free syrup!

I think their uses and variations are probably endless. I'm thinking of using that to make a "crust" around spinach quiche or something.

Thanks for posting the recipe!

I agree, on cleochatra's site she even has a recipe for pizza with them.
 
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