How do I help my sis? (Warning: looong post!) - but please read anyway!

S

SarahY

New member
Hi,


As you can see this is my first post. The reason I've joined this forum is to get some guidance on how to guide myself and my sister through healthy and sustainable weight loss.


Different people have different things they struggle with majorly in life. I know that weight loss is not "my major issue" (that's not to say that I can't gain to lose some).


Unfortunately, it is my younger sister's "major issue". She's always been the chubbier one among my siblings, which I guess wasn't (and isn't) all that easy. The last year has had some of the biggest ups and downs.


I really hope she never sees this, she'd absolutely kill me for putting these numbers down. I'll walk the talk and start with me: I'm 22 years old 5' 6'' and 160 pounds. She is 20, 5'4'' and 190. She hit her top weight of 195 pounds a couple of months ago and made a decision that she had to do something about it. She went on an Atkins-like diet for a couple of months solid and dropped to 170 (when she sticks to something she really follows through). When she was on the diet she intended to stick to it ... forever. She wasn't able to stick to it past the 170 point (three month of Atkins I think) and went back to the type of diet she was on before Atkins. That (very quickly) lead her back to 190.


What really pushed me into signing up on this forum is that she's just told me that she's going back on Atkins.


I have no experience with weight loss any more than the "average" person. (For instance if it wasn't my sister's carb-counting I wouldn't have even know Atkins focussed on carbs as opposed to calories or whatever).


We both get little to no consistent exercise, although during the school year I took a power yoga class and for the last month of school found a friend to seriously and regularly go on runs with. Our student diets consist of two extremes: eating out/junk food along with food we cook at home. The food we cook for ourselves tends to be very healthy (balanced, organic, the works). I think it's the amounts of junk/eating out that's a problem for both of us. Portion control is (I think) a problem specific to her (I might be in denial - I mean I don't know what a "good portion size" is, only what its not). She also struggles with a sweet-tooth (which means that when she's off Atkins she's really off Atkins).


In my opinion only a balanced diet and regular exercise should be "forever" and that anything else that isn't sustainable just won't work. But I also think (??) that in order to get to the healthy weight you want to maintain "forever", you're gonna have to put in a little more into it at the beginning. (I could be wrong - I'm serious, I have no idea how this stuff works, but I'd love to learn!)



Where do you guys think I should start? I'd be more than willing to do whatever it is along with her, but there is a slight complication, my doctor has me on a special diet to control some of my own health problems, she's also ordered me off of excessive sweating (I love to run so this has been hard on me). So really, what I'm asking for is how to convince her to do what she needs to do without saying I'd do it myself (until I can join her at least).


As I re-read this post, I'm thinking *damn, I'm comin' off as some snooty do-gooder* - hope not anyway!


Thanks for reading this essay and I appreciate any advice!


-Sarah
 
for long term success, you are right. You can't survive on any of these "diets", which is why 99% of people fail on them.


You are also right about portion control. You can lose the weight by simply controlling the amount of calories you take in, but again, for long term success, don't starve yourself because you will bounce back up twice as fast when you cheat.


So, the biggest battle for you guys is food. Make a really, really conscious effort to get rid of the junk food. It will save you money, too. It's ok to have a sweat tooth, but you really only need to satisfy it with a little bit of sugar. I have always found that drinking lots of water (like 4-5 L / day) help curb cravings, as well.


Of course, exercise is huge. Your muscle is what burns calories, so if you can do a little bit of weight training, that can go a long way to burning off those extra calories. There are a lot of exercises that you can do without sweating. I don't know the best way for you to get the cardio, though, without sweating. Can you get away with very short, but intense exercise, so that you are sweating a lot, but maybe for only 5m? If so, look into Tabata training ..
 
Thanks so much for your response!


I'll make it my goal to get us both off the junk food - I'm pretty good about the water, I drink at 1.5-2 L a day.


I guess another problem I have is convincing my sis to "diet" in a healthy manner. She is clearly stuck in yo yo diet mode: constantly looking for the quick fix and then slipping back to old habits. But I can't just tell her that to her face without upsetting her. How should I go about gently convincing her that a life-long low carb diet isn't reasonable? I mean, I think I sound reasonable. But I also know that the 20 pounds she lost will also weight in on her decision to hear me out. Is anyone familiar with low-carb dieting and able to explain to me why she lost that much in only a couple of months and regained it so quickly? If I understood that, I might have a better chance winning her over.


I was thinking of starting with maybe challenging her to match my water intake, then hopefully that'll help her with the sugar thing like you said, and I can introduce the idea of limiting/eliminating junk food.
 
I just re-read your post. 4-5 L of water???? Wow.


And I thought I was good on less than half of that!



*goes off to get a drink*
 
Hey Sarah, good to see that you're looking to take care of both you and your sister. You didn't come across as a "snooty do-gooder," just a sibling that's trying to help.


Before I start saying too much, this article will explain a lot about nutrition as well as answer a lot of questions you may have: http://body-improvements.com/resources/eat/ Write down questions as you read the article and if you still have unanswered questions by the time you're done, definitley ask!


As for portions... have you ever heard of the plate method? For your meals, you should try to arrange most of them this way:


1/2 veggies (2 or more types)

1/4 starch (carbs)

1/4 protein (meat or alternatives)


For your main 3 meals, you should be using no more than a 10 inch diameter plate. (Get your measuring tape out!). Oh and you only get one plateful... no seconds or thirds! Snacks should be no more than 200-250 calories and should consist mostly of complex carbs (veggies and fruit) and protein foods. A lot of people don't like veggies first thing in the morning, so you might want to do something more like this for your first meal of the day:


1/3 fruit

1/3 starch

1/3 protein


This link is from the Canadian Diabetes Association, but the 2 handouts use principles that I tell all of my weight loss clients. Print them out and put them on the fridge if you need to! http://www.diabetes.ca/diabetes-and-you/nutrition/portion-guide/


As for water, 4-5 L is pretty excessive... if you can aim to consistently get around 3 L each day and probably a bit more on days that you exercise, then you would be doing pretty good!


I hope that helps a bit!


Edit: If the body-improvements.com link above doesn't work, then you can view the same article here: http://www.fitness.com/articles/1304/nutrition_101_part_1.php. This is part one of six - to get to the other parts, look under "Related Items" to the right of the article.
 
i had another look at my bottle ... 3 - 3.75 L / day :) ... thought my bottle was 1L, but it's only 750ml. I go through half that first thing in the morning around my workout ... 1/2 - 3/4 on the way to the gym (20m), 1 - 1 1/2 at the gym and another 1/2 - 3/4 on the way back.
 
Mmmm... my advice is to back off. I accept that you are wanting the absolute best for your sister, but will she? It could really feel to her like you're the older sister trying to run her life. I have a younger sister who smoked a lot -- and she knew it wasn't good for her, and any advice from me really really didn't help, it only made her feel I was, well "the older sister trying to run her life". :blush5:


What probably will help is if you give her your real friendship/love, show her (don't tell her!) that you like her company, ask her to join you in non-eating social events, some of them healthy, like a ramble through your nearest park or whatever, and some of them just plain sisters having fun -- the movies! home jewellery-making! Atkins isn't great, but if it gives her a kick-start to feeling good, well, that will probably help.


Oh, and make sure that the house has as few unhelpful foods, and as much helpful food as possible, and don't call it "diet" food, just say how lovely fresh fruit (or fish or whatever it is) is. Yum! mangoes! :biggrin:
 
@PLBFitness: Thanks for the easy to follow breakdown! Just so you know, the first link you sent doesn't seem to be working.


@AllCdnBoy: *phew* - I'm now getting 3L in a day :)


@noparsnips: Thanks for the honest advice. *Goes off to watch a movie with her film-aholic sis, brings along home-made,salted popcorn*. You're totally right, I'll never be able to "run her life" even if I wanted to lol


Like I said, at home we're pretty healthy, but when she's not dieting she always brings sugary candy, potato chips etc back home with her on her own. I mean the snacks on our pantry consist of almonds, raisins, fresh fruit and the occasional bag of corn-chips. The snacks she keeps in her room are fuzzy peaches, pringles and an assortment of chocolates (which I'll admit I will occasionally have a bit of, but I don't have a taste for junk food anyway so it's not a huge problem for me). I guess she's going to have to learn how to make good snacking choices on her own.
 
@ noparsnips - that's really good advice. I don't have a sister, so I never really thought about it that way


@ sarahY - I put an edit in my original post to another link to that same article in case the first link continues to not work... it looks like he did some rearranging on his site.


Good luck and keep us posted!
 
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