How can I be happy with my body after weight loss?

K

kjames

New member
I'm a 21 year old female who is 5'11 and weighed 271 pounds in January, which is when I seriously started losing weight. I have lost 65 pounds so far and need to lose another 35 to get to my goal weight. When the weight first started coming off my self confidence went up and I started to feel much better about myself. I was also eating really healthy balanced meals and exercising a sufficient amount. Now...8 months in to my weight loss journey I feel like I have completely lost it. My self confidence and self esteem is practically non-existent. I hate everything about myself. I have come to the point that even though I know deep down that I am much thinner than I used to be, I feel like the fattest person on the planet and hate myself even more now than I did when I was heavier. Most days I just feel like curling up and dying. I have started to pick out all the things that I hate and that bug me about my body and have become completely obsessed with trying to fix them. Now I have moved onto my face. The weird thing is...I know I'm not ugly..but I feel that way all the time. I've had a ton of people compliment me on how great I look and how pretty I am and blah blah blah but I just feel so hideous all of the time. I feel like everyone is just saying those things because they truly feel sorry for me.
I have also lost the ability to eat healthy...I will go without eating all day because I feel guilty and then when I do eat I binge on really unhealthy foods. My exercise routine is quite vigorous. Other than work, that is all I do. I have to run for at least 1.5 hours a day and make sure to include at least an hour of stretching/strength training. And when I'm not working out hard I am either going for a walk or obsessing about my body. I seem to spend endless hours on the internet researching weight loss and body image.
The biggest problem with my body is the stretch marks I have. I have been deemed to have very thin and non-elastic skin which has left me with stretch marks EVERYWHERE due to the massive weight gain and loss. They are the main cause of my lack of self esteem. I feel like a monster because of them and that I'm missing out on my life because of them. I just ruined a relationship with a guy I really liked because I wasn't able to just be myself and be fun and happy and care-free because of them. I was too concerned with how I look and too worried that he would be totally disgusted by my body (flabby stomach and tons of stretch marks) I found it extremely hard to get close to him and barely let him touch me and never let him see me naked the whole time we were together. I feel like I really missed out on something great and it scares me to think that I'll never be able to let anyone love me because I don't love myself.
Does anyone else have experience with this kind of thing? Any suggestions on how I can learn to love my body and all of its flaws.
Thank you to everyone who reads all of this!
 
I feel you need to talk to someone, maybe a professional, to help you with your self-esteem. I don't believe we can do anything more helpful than to say you will be ok..
 
Keep eating healthy and exercising and working towards your weight loss goal of course, but keep in mind that your target weight is probably not the solution to your lack of self-esteem. You can find your self-esteem somewhere beyond your physical appearance.

Here are some tips...

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people
2. Don't put yourself down
3. Think positive thoughts
4. Accept compliments
5. Use life coaching (self-help books and tapes, workshops, a therapist, religion, peer groups, etc.)
6. Mix with positive people
7. Don't put up with crap
8. Acknowledge your positive qualities and skills
9. Help others
10. Get involved with things you love
 
The most important thing you need to realize is that:

Your body or the look of the body does not define who you are.

I think your post is very interesting, because I see how this can be a problem after huge weight loss.. because of the extreme emphasis on how you look, for that long period of time, eventually those feelings die because they feed off of looking better and better. Soon your worth becomes tied up in how you look, or how skinny you are getting.

This must plateau at some point. You have reached the plateau. Do not despair over this. You do not want to revert back to where you were, health-wise this would be a bad decision. As well as practically speaking. Bigger cloths might cost more and are harder to find. And food expenses are higher.

So a couple of questions: Are you eating enough? Binging could be symptomatic of continually starving or not getting the right kinds of foods could cause mood swings and make you feel more down.

Also, take a rest from exercise. Don't work so hard that you wear your body out and feel like you can't do anything but exercise. Remember when you loose weight fast your body is going through alot of changes and might react.

The biggest thing you need to do is this: deliberately make yourself stop looking at yourself. Take down your mirrors for as long as it takes. Put them in the closet. Do not try on that infamous pair of skinny jeans.

Keep exercising and make better decisions about your eating habits. For instance, instead of eating 1/2 gallon of ice-cream eat only 1/4 gallon. Or, if you have the will, just get on the right track again. You MUST do this. You don't want to revert, and you know it.

The final piece of advice I will give: Focus on your weight loss efforts, keep it up, BUT, don't make it the entire focus of your life, begin to do other things that are important to you and that you enjoy. Reaching goals is good.. but you have to continually set other goals in front of you or this happens... you crash and burn.

I'd also suggest that you post some pics. I am able to give an honest opinion or even critique you if thats really what you want.

Take heart lady. You will get through this if you do not give up.

I am here for you. Drop me a line anytime.

I have struggled with my self image ever since I was a kid. I'm overcoming this fast. It feels great, and I hope I can lend a hand because I have been there too.

--Angel

P.s. People on here say flabby skin does subside over time, with exercise. Have patience! It will win in the end.
 
I agree with Jericho in that I think sometimes these issues are bigger than anything a forum can help us with, so I would advise you seek some kind of help/counselling with it.

Sometimes that takes a bit of humility & effort cause you can think to yourself, "it's only some negative thinking, nothing work getting help for." But I'd suggest anything that prevents you from forming great relationships is worth addressing - that sucks that you missed out on potentially something special with a great guy cause of this. That must have been heaps discouraging to go through, I know cause I too deliberately sabotagued a relationship with a great guy, mainly out of insecurity toward my body. He trained & boxed 2 hours a day, 6 days a week & physically was flawless. I felt like he would never understand even though he thought I was gorgeous. Looking back, I just didn't have the confidence to let someone else in & I ended up making a huge mess of it.

So personally I'm in the same boat - i've lost to date 57kgs (125 pounds) & I still have a good 12kgs (26 pounds) more to go to get to my goal weight of 68kgs (149 pounds).

I've always bad skin & now that I'm 27 & have been on the seesaw of weightloss my whole life, my skin has suffered so much from it. I can totally relate to becoming obsessed with it, my main areas of concern are my arms, breasts & stomach. Everything sags & when you've worked so hard (which I have, no short cuts but long term healthy eating/exercising), it's difficult to think that you're still gonna be plagued with insecurities.

So I decided I wasn't going to be. I made a decision to filter so much of what I watch & allow into my spirit i.e. I'd used to read heaps of trashy mags, watch shows where girls were obsessed with weight, & I'd talk about nothing else with my gf's etc. But I'm learning to honestly wean myself off that stuff, it's a process & doesn't happen overnight. The truth is a lot of that stuff helped me stay focussed & determine for awhile, but the other side of it was that I allowed too much of it in my head & it started screwing with me.

It's been about a month now & I'm also seeing someone to talk about it, sort of a counsellor. I just want to set myself with great thinking habits & even though it's humbling, to me it's worth it. I'm 27 & not getting younger - life is for living!!

I don't know if any of this helps you, but at least know that someone else out there appreciates your journey & where you're coming from :)

Good luck!
 
Thank you so much to everyone who replied!

Jericho - you're right and I am currently seeing a counselor to work on my issues.

leaner - thanks for your tips! I know that all of those things are important...I'm still working on finding a way to start implementing them in my life.

AngelWings - "Your body or the look of the body does not define who you are." I think that is so powerful and something that I need to strive to be able to grasp with myself. To answer your question, no I definitely haven't been eating enough. I think my body was so deprived from not eating enough to support the amount of exercise I have been doing that I just snapped and began binge eating over the last couple of weeks. I think a lot of my eating habits have to do with my emotions...I am definitely an emotional eater. Because of my insecurities and ruining that relationship, I have been really down over the last couple of weeks and that's why I've been eating like a pig. You're right..I need to change this, because the last thing I want to do is gain any weight back!
I really appreciate all of your insight. Thank you.

Come on - Thank you so much, this really helped me feel better. I really needed to read a post from someone who has an idea of what I'm going through. Congratulations on your weight loss! I'm curious as to what changed with you to make you stop obsessing so much over your bad skin and saggy areas? (my areas of concern are the same) How did you get over thinking that even though you have worked so hard you will never look as good as those girls in the bikinis on the beach? It just makes me so sad to think that even though I have worked so hard I will never look as good as I want to.
 
"How did you get over thinking that even though you have worked so hard you will never look as good as those girls in the bikinis on the beach?"

So I would say two main reasons;

1. This might sounds stupid but one thing that genuinely occurred after losing all this weight is that I've actually been overweight pretty much my whole life i.e. I was the "funny one" at school & college etc. I made a real effort during all those years to work on my personality & character coz truthfully, there wasn't much goin on anywhere else lol. So tho I have these stretch marks & loose skin etc, I have a real confidence in my personality & my ability to relate to others. I read an article once (prob not the most "politically correct" thing to say) that was written by a guy & he basically said "fat girls gone skinny are the best to date". Ha! But his reasons were along the lines that he said larger girls tend to have developed their character more, they're not princess' etc, they've had to offer more to group scenario's then just sitting there & looking pretty, so over the years they've developed other things like humour, intellect, wisdom, character, wit etc. THEN! He said once they've slimmed down, you've totaly got the whole package, someone who'se really well rounded.

So the article was just a bit of fun, but truthfully I found stuff that I saw in myself. If i'm honest, as a larger girl - i did have to try harder. I'd see all my friends just doll up & instantly get that attention from others & for me, it took a lot more. I learnt to really rely on other things, to develop & perservere in other stuff, a lot of which i'm really proud of. Now that I'm slim & attractive, in a lot of ways I do feel confident that I have a lot to offer a guy. It might NOT be the pefect body persay, but it's still a warm, intelligent, funny (if I do say so! ha), interesting, beautiful person who's learning to be content with herself.

My bet is that you have a lot of those things to offer a guy & trust me, more than anything else - i've learnt that confidence is beautiful. The second I got caught up in my insecurities, I became less attractive, I know it. Most guys i've come into contact with aren't even actually searching for the perfect body, but somebody who'se engaging, at rest with herself & genuinely interested & open to life. When I'm living out of that place in me, I really do notice I get so much more sincere attention from the opposite sex.

2. Sorry to sound "religious" if you will, cause i'm actually not in that sense. But I am a Christian & I can't answer this question without referring to the fact that a HUGE part of when i finally got over myself & my insecurities came out of my relationship with God. I understand that not everyone has that & that's so cool, but the more I started to realise my worth in him & that I'm loved not cause of anything I can do, but just cause of who I am, man it changed everything.

I hope you find what it is that will help change your perspective, you sound like a really cool person with a lot going for you - if only you could realise your worth & full potential.

Sometimes when I walk down the street I just smile to myself, cause I think no matter what anyone thinks or doesn't think about me etc, I know deep down I've changed my life, changed who I am & learnt (& still learning daily) to master myself. It puts a twinkle in my eye - and that's attractive!

Best of luck babe :)
 
Have you considered talking to a mental health professional about this? Hating yourself could be a symptom of depression, and maybe taking a medication for it would help you feel better.

You also said you're not eating all day, not getting enough nutrients can make you depressed as well because your brain won't have the raw material to make neurotransmitters and so on. People on starvation diets are at a risk for developing mental health issues for this reason.


By the way, stretch marks are not such a big deal. Many women have them (including those who haven't been fat but have been pregnant), and if you are really bothered by them it's always possible to have plastic surgery and get the look you want.
 
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I've been going in and out of that phase, so you know your not alone. It's something so difficult I sometimes feel disgusted with my new body. You are the only one that can change it though. You gotta start getting into the routine of eating more and loving yourself more, and I'd say take a day off in the week of working out you deserve it most importantly. You just gotta reflect on yourself take time to recognize what you've sculpted yourself into inside and out, and take the negatives out don't even think of them. You've lost 65lbs take a step back and take a deep breath. You'll be fine everyone that losses a large amount of weight goes through this slump, you'll be out of it soon. It's tough being introduced to your new body, espiecally one that isn't compltely done yet.
 
Well first of all, thanks for opening up to us. I have been feeling the exact same thing for a little over 7 months. I am 5'3 and when I officially "started" I was 195 (I have been over 200 though) in the beginning of Aug 09 from that date until the beginning of January I lost about 40 lbs bringing my weight to 155. Since the beginning of this year I have been fluctuating between 150 and 160 and have been as low as 147. Word for word, pretty much everything you said is the same way I felt with stretchmarks, and feeling like you look super fat or you look worse than before..along with the feelings about getting close to others. Unfortunately my obsession became so bad I did some very unhealthy things to my body and my best friend was worried or me and took my to a psychologist.

I have been seeing a shrink since February and I have been diagnosed and put on meds for with bulimia. I do not make myself throw up, but I did get into taking laxatives for a few months, as a result of restricting and then binging. Needless to say, doing that stuff did NOT make me lose weight..it just F*cked up my metabolism and self esteem more. I still struggle with the disorder, but minus the laxatives (once I was told my by Dr that they can cause cardiac dysrhythmia I was done..I did not realize they could kill you).

It is a daily struggle, but I suggest definitely talking to someone before it gets too bad. Because it is hard to talk to people who keep telling you you look great, because it feels like they do not understand. Definitely talk to a shrink or doctor or something just to have a way to vent out your thoughts and be given healthy, helpful feedback. Because if you keep it bottled in your head you will drive yourself to being more unhealthy and unhappy.
 
Come on: You're definitely right about having to make more of an effort when you're overweight. I know that deep down I have a great personality, I just feel like it's covered up by my insecurity in my physical appearance. I'm still trying to figure out how to let my personality shine through when I'm always so consumed with thinking that people won't like me because I'm "fat", "ugly" and have hideous stretch marks. I know that my ability to relate to people because I've always been the one to observe and listen to people makes me a generally likeable person..I think I just tend to forget that most of the time.
I find it so much easier to exude confidence when I don't know people. It's like as soon as I get to know someone a little more I feel as though they are slowly picking through my flaws and seeing me as a lesser person and my confidence goes into the floor. I know it's really unattractive too, which is why I think I get hit on by men a lot but haven't had many real boyfriends.
Everything you said is just so powerful. I can't thank you enough....your words have really helped me. I'm hoping that I'll be able to find that twinkle in my eye soon enough :)

biggestloser105: Thank you for replying. I have been seeing a counselor about my issues but I am trying to avoid taking any medications if at all possible.
You're right about the food...I was definitely feeling better when I was eating properly. I know that I need to get back to that stage before I can even begin to fix my emotional/mental issues.
Unfortunately, my stretch marks aren't fixable, according to my doctor. He said there isn't much that can be done for me and that plastic surgery isn't really an option for someone like me. I don't know how to accept this fact. Everyone tells me that I have to accept myself for who I am, but I just don't know how to do that. I wouldn't feel like they were such a big deal if I didn't have so many of them and ones that are so noticeable. The ones on my arms are the worst because it really restricts what kind of shirts I can wear and I can never wear a bathing suit. I know that I made myself get fat and have to take responsibility for that...but how do I overcome the fact that these scars will always remind me of that pain. I feel like as hard as I have worked and continue to work I will never be happy because of them. (sorry about the huge rant..it's just a really touchy subject with me)

Shy219: Thank you. It really helps knowing that many people experience this "slump" that I'm feeling right now and that I'm not alone. I think that feeling alone may be the hardest part of this journey sometimes.
It really is tough being introduced to my new body..but I am trying really hard to start seeing the positives in it. It is helping a little.

ktw22689: Thanks so much for listening, Katie. Congratulations on your accomplishment and I'm truly sorry that you're feeling this way too :(
I feel like we have a lot of similarities... I too struggled with an eating disorder in the past and have found myself turning to binging and purging once again. I recently injured myself and haven't been able to exercise and that is when it started again. It seemed like the only option because if I wasn't able to burn off the calories through exercise I needed to find another way to get it out of my system. Even though I know it's unhealthy and isn't going to help me lose the weight in the long run..it's a viscous cycle that I don't know how to escape right now. I am currently seeing a counselor about everything and have been referred to an eating disorder specialist/clinic. I
am really hoping that will help me leave this in the past for good this time.
You're so right about it being hard to talk to people who keep telling you look good. When they say it it almost makes me feel worse because even though I may "look good" to them they don't see the pain that I feel. People keep telling me that I need to be happy with the progress that I've made and that I should stop complaining about being fat etc. because there are so many other people who are way bigger than I am. It makes me feel like a selfish/bad person for feeling the way I do, which in turn makes me feel more depressed about everything.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this everyone. I really welcome any opinions or stories.
 
kjames said:
Unfortunately, my stretch marks aren't fixable, according to my doctor. He said there isn't much that can be done for me and that plastic surgery isn't really an option for someone like me. I don't know how to accept this fact. Everyone tells me that I have to accept myself for who I am, but I just don't know how to do that. I wouldn't feel like they were such a big deal if I didn't have so many of them and ones that are so noticeable. The ones on my arms are the worst because it really restricts what kind of shirts I can wear and I can never wear a bathing suit. I know that I made myself get fat and have to take responsibility for that...but how do I overcome the fact that these scars will always remind me of that pain. I feel like as hard as I have worked and continue to work I will never be happy because of them. (sorry about the huge rant..it's just a really touchy subject with me)
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You could consider getting a second opinion, or getting a consultation from a plastic surgeon. It's possible that your doctor is wrong. Considering that plastic surgeons can now remove acne scars with lasers, can do all sorts of skin tucks it seems surprising that your doctor thinks that absolutely nothing can be done for your skin.

Also keep in mind that stretch marks can fade with time, when I gained the weight that I did I had very large and bright red stretch marks on my arms, legs, midsection and so on, right now (several years later) they are almost gone and the ones that are left are very thin and white colored. Skin also shrinks after you lose weight (though it make take as long as 2 years for it to catch up to weight loss, so it's possible that the appearance of your stretch marks will improve as a result).

(By the way eating well is important for this too, in what I have read about skin recovery after weight loss it's important to get nutrients, lots of protein, lots of water.)

Even if your stretch marks remain as they are, it is possible to cover up and still look very good. Your only limitation would be going to the beach and sex. For the beach wearing a tshirt/dress is not the end of the world. And for the case of sex, if you're with someone you love and who knows you they won't mind the stretch marks. And if you're just looking for one night stands, the guy is not likely to care about it either.
 
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biggestloser105 said:
You could consider getting a second opinion, or getting a consultation from a plastic surgeon. It's possible that your doctor is wrong. Considering that plastic surgeons can now remove acne scars with lasers, can do all sorts of skin tucks it seems surprising that your doctor thinks that absolutely nothing can be done for your skin.
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I will definitely be getting a second opinion as soon as I lose the rest of the weight. I think I'm just going through an in-between slump right now and the stretch marks are getting to me more than they should.

Thanks for sharing your experience with your stretch marks. It's good to hear that they do fade. I've been trying really hard to eat well, do weight bearing/toning exercises, and to keep my skin very well moisturized. I'm hoping that by pampering it it will return the favor and snap back :) I know that I just have to give it time and not expect a drastic change overnight.

Anyone else want to share their experience with their stretch marks? The more I read, the better I feel. Thanks everybody!
 
kjames said:
I'm a 21 year old female
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You know it takes alot of courage to open yourself up like you have in this thread!

I know this is easy to forget (or maybe impossible to realize is a better way to put it)...

Honey, you are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo YOUNG!

If you stay motivated you are going to reach your goal and be in your early 20's!!! I know it may not seem like it but the great part of life IMHO starts in your mid 20's-30's... It seems like high school and college is all that matter in the world, but trust me... The best is yet to come. You are going to go through so many emotional and physical changes in the next 10 years one day im sure you will look back on this and just laugh to yourself!

Stay motivated, work hard towards your goals FOR YOU!!!! not for class mates, or coworkers or a boyfriend/girlfriend... IT IS FOR YOU!

Meeting your goal wills build confidence...You just have to stick with it!

You are not alone. Im a guy and have shared many of the feeling and emotions that you posted in this thread.

Best of luck!
 
You're right, ISeeNoChanges, I am very young. I think that's what scares me most about this whole thing. I feel like I've lived my entire life being unhappy because of my weight and now that I am finally getting control of my weight I am still unhappy because of what that weight did to my body. I totally agree with 20-30's being the best time of your life...and I feel like I'm missing out on so many great things because I have to cover my body up and feel so uncomfortable being seen in public. I'm constantly focused on keeping my stretch marks hidden, which is so hard when you're a 21 year old girl who wants to go out and have fun and wear all of the cute clothes that show off skin. I just feel so hopeless with the whole thing right now. I am trying really hard to stay motivated with the weight loss in hopes that once I reach my goal I will have one less thing to worry about. Maybe then I will be able to learn to accept and love my body even though it is far from perfect. Thank you so much for your post.
 
Kjames, I'm torn by your post. Part of me knows how you feel, and is sympathetic to your troubles. The other part wants to smack you in the back of the head.
Try not to take that the wrong way lol

Look, we're all insecure. Everyone has specific low points and high points in their life with that sort of thing. And I've been where you are, and been obsessed with it, and I actually used to get -offended- when people complimented me because I thought there was no honest way they were actually telling the truth.

The sad part is I didn't have anyone telling me to get a grip and ground myself and realize whats REALLY important in life is bigger than obsessing with all my little imperfections. You don't want to go down the path of what happens when you don't stop yourself now. Thats why I tell everyone who has those tendencies, to NOT get motivated by negativity. Don't decide to lose weight because you hate yourself. Lose weight because you LOVE yourself enough to do it -right-. There is more to life than wearing the same stupid size your friends wear, and more to being healthy than seeing your hip bones again. But no one else no matter how much they try to force feed you that logic can change your behavior but you. And I'm proud of you for posting this on here and being concerned about it.

I'd stay away from people, websites, tv shows, or anything else that are negative toward you or encourage you to be unhealthy. Learn to be good to yourself. Less is NOT more when you're losing weight. Aside from starving your body, you will destroy your organs, your skin, your hair, your heart, and your relationships by obsessing over this.

As far as stretch marks go, all I can really say is that problem is it isn't a problem. You're being obsessive over it, and -that- is the problem. Why would you want to get so horribly depressed over something that in the grand scheme of things, is totally inconsequential? So you have stretch marks. They fade, I promise! When I gained a bunch of weight quickly I got big fat red ones all over my stomach. They're completely gone now, and I didn't do anything special to my skin to get them to, it just takes time. So you can still see them if you get close up. So what! My cousin lost about 90lbs and has a lot of loose skin and stretch marks, and he was whining about it to me one day. Problem is, he lost all that weight because he was addicted to cocaine in high school. So I basically told him to STFU because he's lucky he's even alive. As should we all be thankful we have our health and do whats right by us to preserve happiness, not tear it apart over not being perfect. Perfect is an illusion.
 
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Hey kellylmt,
Haha..no offense taken at all. I think sometimes a smack in the head is exactly what I need.
You mentioned that you were also obsessed with your insecurities...how did you get over that? What changed for you? As much as I know that I am being ridiculous about all of my insecurities it's like I don't know how to stop obsessing about them. Losing weight and trying to make myself look perfect has completely taken over my life. The thing I want most right now is to be able to get to the point where I can just accept myself for who I am and realize that if I don't get a grip on myself I will just let my life pass me by. Any suggestions on how to go about changing my thinking and finding a way to make myself stop obsessing about all of this stuff?
You're right about the stretch marks. I need to learn to be happy about the fact that I am on my way to having a healthier body overall and forget about my outer appearance not being perfect. I really can't wait for mine to fade though!!
Thanks for posting!
 
kjames said:
Hey kellylmt,
Haha..no offense taken at all. I think sometimes a smack in the head is exactly what I need.
You mentioned that you were also obsessed with your insecurities...how did you get over that? What changed for you? As much as I know that I am being ridiculous about all of my insecurities it's like I don't know how to stop obsessing about them. Losing weight and trying to make myself look perfect has completely taken over my life. The thing I want most right now is to be able to get to the point where I can just accept myself for who I am and realize that if I don't get a grip on myself I will just let my life pass me by. Any suggestions on how to go about changing my thinking and finding a way to make myself stop obsessing about all of this stuff?
You're right about the stretch marks. I need to learn to be happy about the fact that I am on my way to having a healthier body overall and forget about my outer appearance not being perfect. I really can't wait for mine to fade though!!
Thanks for posting!
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You need to fill your life with things you love and are excited about. Think about what you want to do with your life, maybe something career related or maybe you have an artistic talent or whatever. If you don't know yet, try to find something to be excited about and something that makes you happy.

If you have that, and are enjoying life because of it, then it won't matter that much if you have stretch marks. You'll like your life, and you'll like who you are.
 
The part where you talk about your stretch marks on your arms really hit home for me because I used to obsess over mine too!! Up until this year (I just turned 28) I would not show my arms - I would not wear strapless dresses, bathing suits, tank tops - it was so hard to find dresses with sleeves! My mom and sisters and friends would all tell me I was crazy on the hot summer days when I would be wearing long sleeves or not getting in the water because I didn't want to take my t-shirt off. I started working on toning my arms and even though all the marks are still there I'm finally able to sometimes show them. I had to get a strapless dress for my wedding so I knew I had to suck it up and I actually enjoyed wearing the dress - it felt so free and weird at first. I'm still pretty shy about them and don't wear tank tops around strangers but because my arms are looking way better than they ever did before I'm not as shy about them. I also agree with what others wrote about growing up and not caring as much as what others think - you will get there - there is hope! It is hard to accept though that those marks will always be there and I've tried every lotion and potion - you just have to realize it sucks being depressed about them and it's holding you back.
Sorry for that rant but I just wanted you to know that I have felt the exact same way and there is a light at the end - if you let there be!
Keep working hard - lots of push-ups and strength training will help!
 
Chubbygirl: Thank you for sharing your story. It really helps hearing that it is possible to start to feel better about them and that they will fade with time. I looked at some of your pictures you posted on a thread...you are gorgeous. You looked absolutely amazing in your dress and the fact that you have stretch marks on your arms makes me feel hopeful. If you can look that amazing with a few stretch marks, why can't I? Congrats on your weight loss...all of your hard work really paid off!
 
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