Hopefully Not Hopeless

I made it to the gym today. My trainer was there so I asked him about my calorie intake and he said since it was a couple days it shouldn't be too bad but it'll slow down my metabolism and i might gain a pound or two :(. Which really sucks. But now the whole slowing of my metabolism thing makes sense cause I haven't been hungry the past couple days either. I've hit 1130 so far today which is kinda bad. I'm still gonna have a dinner and maybe i'll have a bowl of whole grain cereal too. I'll be up late tonight. I'm not starving myself I'm still eating every 2 to 4 hours. I really hope I don't gain any weight :(.
 
My sad belly button

So I think this zig zag dieting might work. I did it accidentally last week and I weighed in a couple pounds lighter this morning. I mean I never really count the weight as gone until its stayed there for a while. I always fluctuate in a 4 pound range. But I hope its really gone. What I'm concerned about right now is my sad belly button. I know that you get the frowning belly button when you're overweight and it might never go away. But I would be so much more comfortable with my body if my belly button wasn't frowning at me. I'd still be trying to lose weight. Does the sad belly button ever go away?
 
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What's zig zag dieting? Changing the amount you eat? changing the amount you exercise?

I have heard people say that they boost their metabolism by surprising their body by doing different stuff from the routine - is that what you mean?
 
What I'm concerned about right now is my sad belly button. I know that you get the frowning belly button when you're overweight and it might never go away. But I would be so much more comfortable with my body if my belly button wasn't frowning at me. I'd still be trying to lose weight. Does the sad belly button ever go away?

Heeheehee - your cute - Ive never relaly noticed my belly button to be honest I will have to look now to see if it frowns at me - thanx - *kidding* Hope all has been goign well wiht you - it would be nice to see oyu post more :):):)
 
Starting up again

Wow after reading through my old journal I can't believe I had trouble hitting 2156 calories some days! Ugh, I could blow through that in one meal now probably. And I looked at those old pictures, god I miss that old body and those jeans. I wasn't even at my goal yet but I was definitely more comfortable. I still have those black jeans because I love them and I hope to fit into them again. I'm starting again December 1st. I know people always say just start now, but I figure starting on the 1st will help me document and measure my progress more easily.

My first training appointment is on Monday. I haven't exercised in over 2 months so I know it's going to be exhausting. I have to go grocery shopping this weekend so that all that exercising won't go to waste on bad food.

My habits are horrible right now, even worse then they were before the last time I tried to lose weight. I eat almost every single meal out, either delivery or out at a restaurant. I eat a lot of carbs, I mean A LOT. I remember when I lost the weight, pasta was pretty much non-existent in my diet. Cutting out all those bad things seems so daunting again. But I do know what I have to do. I just wish I had the encouragement of my old trainer. He never made me feel ashamed about my weight or uncomfortable, he was very encouraging. And if I did something wrong, I never felt bad telling him.

First step for next week - No more soda and I'm going to try to start with drinking 5 glasses of water a day. I will slowly increase that as time goes on so that I am up to the recommended 8.
 
And it begins

So I started going to the gym and eating healthier again. Mind you it's only day two but I've already run into some problems. For instance, it's very hard for me to hit my 2000 calorie limit with healthier choices. Yesterday, I only ate 819 calories and today I will hit my calories or close to but only because I'm going to eat a slice of pumpkin pie. I know, that's bad I shouldn't be doing that but I'm rather hungry today and its still within my calories. With pumpkin pie added in, I'll be at about 1700 calories. So I'm still under how much I should be eating. I know this is bad cause in the end you tend to gain weight after a while.

I worked out for the first time in 2 months yesterday and I overdid it again. I did weights for 30 minutes and the elliptical for about 60 mins. I ended up having a huge headache yesterday and felt really weak. I didn't work out today, cause I was still pretty tired. But I will be working out again tomorrow.

Yesterday I ate:
Half and apple with caramel and peanuts
3 egg whites with one live active cheese stick and some ketchup
Healthy choice rotini with zest marinara
Danactive Pomegranate berry yogurt
Yoplait whips yogurt

Today I ate:
Special K and Grape Nuts mixed with Vanilla Soy Milk
Half a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with mayo, lettuce, tomato and about 3 medium carrots
Single sized packet of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips
A Large apple
Smart Ones Ravioli Florentine
Danactive pomegranate berry yogurt
1 slice pumpkin pie with whip cream
 
Depressed

Today has been a really depressing day. I've been working out and constricting my calories and I haven't even lost a pound. In fact I've been fluctuating between a pound to 2 pounds lost or 3 pounds gained. I know it doesn't happen quickly but today was especially depressing because I'm a size 22. I've never been a size 22 before, or maybe I was but was squeezing myself into 20's. This is so weird to me because I'm not at my highest weight. In fact, I'm still 5 to 6 pounds less than my highest weight but yet I'm a size bigger than I've ever been.

The weekend wasn't so good, I drank alcohol which is a lot of calories. I'm always hungry now which is also weird because I didn't start feeling this way until midway through my weight loss process last time. But from the beginning I feel like I'm always hungry, like even as I'm eating I'm like "OMG I'm so hungry!"

This sucks. I'm at 265 and I want to be at 240. That's my mini goal and my mini-mini goal is to get into 250 by the end of this month.

Ugghh
 
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Ok I want to be real here for a second, it seems at though people on this website are unrealistic sometimes.

I'm sorry your lowfat pita pizza stuff is NEVER going to taste as good as a slice a greasy New York Pizza.

Isn't the key to success for losing weight trying to find ways of doing it that fit your lifestyle and are doable for you.

Here's a major fallback of mine. I HATE cooking. I hate sitting there waiting for my food, getting a million ingredients to make one dish which I can never know the exact calories of anyway, cause I'm mixing 50 different things together just so it might taste good.

When I lost weight the first time around, I lost it using frozen meals. Yep, 5 minutes or less, my portions and my calories were set for me. However this time around it's not satisfying enough. Mainly because frozen dinners kind of taste like crap huh? No flavor at all.

Here some of my favorite foods that I'm not supposed to eat anymore:
Bread - I've switched to multigrain
Pizza
Pasta
Chocolate
Ice Cream
Cheese
Bacon - and no turkey bacon does not taste the same, in fact i think it's kind of gross
Cheetos
Nachos
Cake
Peanut Butter
Jalapeno Poppers

I think something that upsets me more than anything sometimes is seeing all my friends eat this stuff and stay thin. It makes me pretty depressed, cause I wish I could be normal like them. Eat the same foods they eat and stay thin. It just seems unfair you know, how come they are allowed to eat that stuff and I'm not. How come they get to have more than 4 bites of pasta and I'm not supposed to.
 
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