2 things you have going for you...
Hi there DarkEyes;
I just read all your posts and think you've got 2 things going for you;
- you are really HONEST in all your posts about how you feel and how you did in the day on calories/exercise. I saw myself in your posts more than once.
- you are really persistent, despite setbacks
, you keep on trying. That is to be commended.
I am not going to patronize you and spare you from my third observation. I see frequent posts where you talk about blowing your caloric intake, interspersed with other posts where you went hard at the gym. I also see a lot of excuses. Sometimes you sound like Eyore from Winnie-the-Pooh. I am astounded at the incredibly supportive posts of others in your diary...they keep believing in you. Yet, somehow you've managed to turn that into a negative also, by saying they are patronizing. That's so not true.
DarkEyes, I've been where you are. And I think you need a small kick in the butt. Your cravings are based on the sugar in your system. Cravings go away when we stop with the sugar already. And sugar is in bread and pasta and many other starches, not just obvious things like chocolate. If you make a concerted effort, say two weeks of very little sugar, your body will stop craving it, you won't feel hungry.
You say you don't like people telling you what to do...that it makes you want to do the opposite. Hmmm. Good luck with that. Take a look around at people who succeed. They are people who don't make excuses, they are people who listen to others, they are honest and perservering. You've already demonstrated you are honest and perservering, so you don't have far to go. But I think you are missing a couple of other very important keys to success.
You're right about your social life having to change when you're serious about weight loss. I have a friend who's obese and she has the exact same challenge as you...she wants to lose weight, she's even hired a fitness trainer, but she socializes in a family that eats and drinks a lot. She still drinks beer and eats out all the time and eats way beyond her caloric range. You just can't do that. If you're going to do that, then you can't really say "poor me" can you?
So...even though you don't like people telling you what to do, I'm going to do just that. I suggest you buy three books that talk about how bad sugar is and teach which foods have sugar or convert to sugar in your bloodstream. And then slowly, week by week, or month by month, start eliminiating these from your diet and you will have success GUARANTEED. No ifs, ands, or buts. Is it hard? Yes, the first two weeks can be. Chew sugarless gum, kick the dog, egg someone's house if you must, but don't eat sugar and you will find after two weeks, you won't crave it. You'll be drinking perrier water with your friends and going to the gym r-e-g-u-l-a-r-l-y, not sporadically. You said you hate going to the gym. So did I when I was still taking in too many calories. You have to do both calorie reduction AND gym, not just one. You'll find once you've got evil sugar out of your system, you'll love going to the gym ... you will have so much energy it's not even funny.
Keep a couple vices...we need those. Drink coffee if you want, or develop some other vice like hitting on younger men (joking, doll), but do whatEVER it takes to stay on target.
What have you got to lose? I believe in you, and so does everyone else here, but YOU've got to see yourself one step more honestly to get where you want to be, in my humble opinion.
