Hibana's Diary

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Hibana

Hibana

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Where to start.

Name is Stu 28 year old male ( Using this user name because google search plus i love rainbow six ) struggled all my life with my weight and trying again to stay at it, only thing this time is to try to do it online as i always fail.
I weigh 27.5 Stone so 385 pounds and it's spiralled out of control, i used to weight 25 stone a few months ago.
I think i have a binge eating disorder but you know what doctors are like, so self diagnosed. I suffer with asthma, thyroid deficiency, sleep apnea and i suffered a heart virus a few years ago that nearly killed me in which they still don't know what it was so im on a lot of meds for that... sexy right.
So i'm writing this to hopefully find some like minded people on here and discuss some things.
I'm hoping to go back to my counting calories again as i lost quite a bit last time but try not fall into the BED again.

I'm sick of being out of breath after walking, sick of my back hurting when i try to exercise and better myself. It's disgusting for my age having to shower daily due to fat covering parts of your body it's wrong. Imagine putting off events due to your size, will i even fit on this chair? will this belt even go round me in the car when being picked up? dreaming about going abroad but terrified of being told to get off the flight? I'M DONE WITH THIS THINKING this is not living and i want to start writing my progress here just for my own sanity. My goals are to go to comic con and cosplay again next year, i want to be on my way to body building again i want to explore the world without thinking about these things before i even put a pair of boxers on.


How much weight do you want to lose? - 9 stone

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight? - 2 years

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)? Cal counting then onto exercise when it doesn't hurt

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal? This site

-- How realistic is your goal? Very realistic

-- When will you start? Today


Moving on from my mumbling at 2.30am I would love to hear from some of you, and i hope to chat every now and then about your journeys thanks for reading.
Sayonara
 
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Hey Stu, welcome!

Hibana said:
I'm sick of being out of breath after walking, sick of my back hurting when i try to exercise and better myself. It's disgusting for my age having to shower daily due to fat covering parts of your body it's wrong. Imagine putting off events due to your size, will i even fit on this chair? will this belt even go round me in the car when being picked up? dreaming about going abroad but terrified of being told to get off the flight? I'M DONE WITH THIS THINKING this is not living and i want to start writing my progress here just for my own sanity.
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I know just how you feel, my peak weight was 360 about 10 years ago, I was at 320 when I started this diet and posting here. So I can say I have had all the same problems as you. Since I started in May I have lost 60+ pounds and feel a whole lot better, I still have a long ways to go, but doing this has really made me feel better and better about myself. I know you can do it too.
Hibana said:
--How much weight do you want to lose? - 9 stone
-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight? - 2 years
-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)? Cal counting then onto exercise when it doesn't hurt
-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal? This site
-- How realistic is your goal? Very realistic
-- When will you start? Today
Click to expand...

Great goals and you are right, the only time to start is today. Good for you!

I suggest you start posting your food and exercise daily, along with anything else you are thinking. I found that to be a good way to get advice and support here.

You can do this!
 
Ab-so-lute-ly you can do this! :) Salute to you for taking a stand, drawing the line and deciding NOW is the time.
Like Rob says, you can start a diary to keep and eye on how you're going, and post your progress - I'm really looking forward to hearing how the pounds/kilos start to drop off, one by one, and all the fun of the extra energy, and the looser clothes and all the rest of it. Cheers, and welcome, and have fun while you're here!
 
Hi Stu, and welcome to the diaries! We´re glad to have you (and there´s a no binge thread in the club challenges), but might you have a possibility to talk to a counselor about your binge eating? Doctors and weight are... well, no need to talk about that, but psychotherapists do tend to take eating disorders seriously these days and sometimes having a pro on your side can be a great help.
 
Hi Stu, Welcome to the forum. I can relate to the frustrations of being big and the related health issues. At one point, I bought a seatbelt extender for flights in case I would ever have to use it. I’ve lost about 140 pounds since that point. Walking every day helped me a lot earlier on when it hurt too much to do anything else. I hope this forum can be helpful for you. There are sincere people here who care and will respond to support you.
 
Hi Stu! So nice to "meet" you - I can feel how done you are by your post.. I think posting here (daily if you can!) will be a real source of support for you. I post my food on here each day that I can with the calories, maybe you could do something like that too! We are from all over the world on this forum and are a friendly bunch - welcome!
 
Thank you all for your kind words and support already.
Does anyone know what are the must see things on this site?

Today went Ok went a little over my cals so will try harder tomz.
 
Hibana said:
Does anyone know what are the must see things on this site?
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It depends on what you’re looking for but one of the best ways to find information is to use the search function. You may be able to find some great information buried in some of the older posts too.

There’s a moderator here, @Trusylver, who has a lot of specialized knowledge related to fitness, especially weight training, including nutrition. Others have personal knowledge and experience too and respond to specific questions.

Otherwise, the diaries section is the most active and is mostly moral support and socializing with some emphasis on nutrition and fitness.
 
Hey Stu, Rob is right the search function is great, and if you only read one diary it should be Trusylver's. It takes time to browse through things here, and since the forum has been around a while there is a lot of wisdom in some of the older posts. Unlike a lot of diet plans this is not a prescriptive place, you will not be told the one way. We all find the best approach for ourselves and then reevaluate as we go along.

I suggest you try posting more details on your diary, what you are eating specifically, what exercise you are doing, how you feel about it, etc. That will let people support and advise better. Also read the diaries of other active folks and post questions or comments on those that interest you. Most folks here are friendly and helpful.

Stick with us, and you'll get into it.
 
Hibana said:
How much weight do you want to lose? - 9 stone

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight? - 2 years

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)? Cal counting then onto exercise when it doesn't hurt

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal? This site

-- How realistic is your goal? Very realistic

-- When will you start? Today
Click to expand...

All looks good to me Stu, at your weight, most of your losses will come from diet, exercise wise you don't need to exercise for the sake of exercise, just try to get in 10-15 minutes extra general movement each day. as Rob (@bensanon ) a little bit of walking each day can make a big difference to general health. Walking in water is also a good option, as a lot of your weight is supported by the water, taking pressure away from overloaded joints.
 
Thanks Good to note :)

Really struggling today shit sleep is making me so slow.
Can feel myself craving some sugar but don't have any in the house bar fruit so trying that today.

How do you guys do with "treat days"once a week or is that setting me up to fail?
 
For the sugar cravings I would recommend a piece of fruit, or maybe just a cup of coffee.

I don't do "treat days" or haven't since starting this diet in May. Like you I worry that would lead me to more frequent eating and "failure". That said we are all different people and I know others here have treat days and do fine. My sense is that if you can plan a higher calorie day, maybe with a nice desert, and figure that into your weekly intake it could be fine. But only if it doesn't trigger more eating.

You have said you have a binge problem, so do I and a lot of folks here. One thing I suggest you do is to focus on managing bingeing. Eating more calories in a day or a larger meal than planned is different from bingeing. I think you probably know the difference for yourself. Come take a look at our binge thread https://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/no-binge-no-purge-one-day-at-at-time.111089/ . It might help you.
 
I think treat meals after fine and treat days can be as well but for me they still need some limitations, simply because I can easily eat back a whole week of weight loss in one binge. What mostly works for me is making sure the things I do eat are satisfying. For it is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but can have cheese and pickles with it.´
 
LaMaria said:
I think treat meals after fine and treat days can be as well but for me they still need some limitations, simply because I can easily eat back a whole week of weight loss in one binge. What mostly works for me is making sure the things I do eat are satisfying. For it is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but can have cheese and pickles with it.´
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I'm the same I over do it but maybe a massive glass of water after measuring the cals would work wonders?
 
I think if you plan what you´d really want to have and make it a reasonable amount (I don´t know: maybe one day of maintenance calories?) you´ll be fine. As long as you only have access to the amount you´ll be eating on that day, that is. Buying a larger amount and saving half for next week never worked for me. One thing I´ve found is that many of my favorite binge foods are nowhere near as attractive in normal amounts. Turns I didn´t really want them for their taste/texture but for the high they gave me and they only did that in ungodly amounts. Putting that in past tense because I want to believe it is in the past.
 
Hibana said:
I'm the same I over do it but maybe a massive glass of water after measuring the cals would work wonders?
Click to expand...
water as a cure for an empty stomach seems to have mixed reactions with me. most of the time it only seems to exasperate the feeling rather than satisfy it. if i had to choose a preferred beverage while fasting it would be black coffee... and not a tankard full... typically just the first few sips seem to do the trick... or at least distract me long enough. ... i really don't dwell on hunger.
 
LaMaria said:
One thing I´ve found is that many of my favorite binge foods are nowhere near as attractive in normal amounts. Turns I didn´t really want them for their taste/texture but for the high they gave me and they only did that in ungodly amounts.
Click to expand...
Well put! I know that "high" and "ungodly amounts" all to well.
 
Hi, Stu. Treat days don't work for me. I find they don't change my mindset & I think that's important long-term. On Sunday nights we have a few sweet treats after dinner, including some dark chocolate. The foods you know that trigger you to eat to excess are best avoided I think until you feel in control.
Walking is a good exercise as it helps take your mind off food & the more you walk the better you feel. It's something you can build up gradually too.
 
Not going to lie been a rough few days and had an off day of not counting anything due to me being ill.
Back on it but annoyed with myself, will be weighing myself tomorrow.

I was thinking about uploading a picture of myself topless in boxers to use as as reference is this aloud? just to give myself some inspiration.
 
I think guys are allowed to post topless pics. Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect while sich though!
 
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