AcousticDreams
New member
Well, here's a little of my history. Seeing as I was born and raised in New Orleans, La, I have a long and torid love affair with food. I was always a big kid. My mom, loving and supportive as she is, always just gave me whatever I wanted to eat. I maxed out at about 300 lbs during my senior year of highschool. I had never dated or ever thought the idea was plausible. Needless to say I had low self esteem. After graduation, I went to college where my weight pretty much stayed the same. Soon after graduating from college I met my wife to be. We were together for about 6 years. She was a large woman as well, so I never felt pressure to lose weight. Finally, we got divorced mutually, as we realized we were better friends than lovers. It was after that that I began a weight loss program. I did the Body-for-LIFE over a 90 day period and actually lost a lot of weight. I went from 310 to about 225. I had a lot of self-confidence, felt better, more energetic. Then I met the true love of my life. She was everything I always dreamed of. And with my new self confidence I actually felt that I deserved her. After nearly 3 years together she left me for someone else. It crushed me and sent me into a destructive downward spiral. I began drinking a lot and got into a bit of a cocaine addiction. However, instead of losing weight as most would I started gaining weight. I kicked all addictions except food. My weight stayed roughly the same. Over about 2 years the highest I got was around 230. Since I'm 6'2 I thought that wasn't bad. Then life threw another curveball. Hurricane Katrina hit and my elderly, disabled mother was forced to evacuate and move in with me. She can't support herself so I'm responsible for working and taking care of her. Needless to say, my old bad eating habits have returned. I'm back to nearly 300 lbs now. The only difference is that I'm 30 now and a waiter, which is what I've done for the past 12 years. It's getting really hard now. My body hurts. I'm finding it hard to drag myself into such a physically demanding job anymore. But I don't have a choice. I have to support us. I'm also getting really tired of being alone. I miss that first electric charge when you meet someone new. I miss the romance. However, with my current self esteem level I wouldn't notice that 'charge' if it happened. Well, sorry to babble so much but that's my goal now. To get back where I was. To change my life back to being happy and energetic; confident. I can't do it alone though which is why I'm here. Thanks for listening and I hope to talk to you all soon.
