Hi there - can I have some opinions please?
- Thread starter cuteKitty
- Start date
Interesting.
To each his own. Right?
If I approached a woman and she told me, "beat it unless you lose 20 lbs and grow some abs," I'd probably make her look like the fool that she is.
But hey, that's just me. I tend to like and respect people based on who they are... not what they look like.
I'd just like to add that this has been a terrible thread hijack... my apologies. To the OP, your goals are probably doable. I'd recommend reading the stickies and if you still have questions, ask away!
I'd highly suggest reading one stickie in particular called "words of wisdom."
Ahahahahahhahahaha, I love you Adidas your too funny!!, And Welcome Kitty!
You just had to go and feed the troll.
Yea, it's a great way to make yourself known to the forum.... flying into the forum cape on back, shield and sword in hand to save the day from the silly, amusing posters that offer up their stupid opinions.
MsGhettoBooty
New member
Thanks, Mami, but there's no need for that. (But I appreciate it and will proudly brag about it later. haha)
The other members who posted their opinions had nothing but good intentions for "kitty." They didn't deserve that "ridiculous" and "pretentious" comment. They're good people and I sure as hell am not going to allow Captain SaveThatAss to make them feel horrible for trying to be of help.-Sheryl
riotgurl_311
New member
My personal view on it is was just that I'd prefer a guy love me for WHO I am, not how big I am. No relationship based on looks will last forever. I feel that kitty deserves a guy who will want her no matter what.
I also think to push yourself to the max in a NON healthy way just to make a deadline for meeting someone... is very dangerous. If he cares he will respect the fact that you're trying period.
I also think to push yourself to the max in a NON healthy way just to make a deadline for meeting someone... is very dangerous. If he cares he will respect the fact that you're trying period.
Yea, but who cares about her. We should just be robotic and focus on the weight loss.
bikinibound
New member
Wow! When I read that, the first thought that came to my mind was, "Oh no, you didn't!" I new there would be a blast back, and I was right. Well, Steve and Sheryl and all the others who have said that if a man only considers you based on your looks, than he's not worth having are totally right.
I am 5'9" and back in my twenties I weighed about 180lbs on average. That put me into the same size as or slightly larger than cutekitty--US14. And let me tell you--I had no trouble at all attracting men from all over the fackin' world. Belgium, Spain, Morocco, Korea, Australia, Venezuala, Argentina, Syria, Germany, England, Canada...oh, and America, of course. Ok I'll stop. I guess men don't like women unless they're skinny sticks.
Losing weight to get a guy is sad and pathetic, imo. It just shows a lack of self-esteem and self-love. If you're comfortable in your own skin, guys will flock to you regardless of whether or not you're a stick. Weightloss should be done because you want to be healthy--not for some stupid guy. If he's worth having, he won't think you're hideous b/c you're sporting a few extra pounds.
Going on some silly crash diet will only cause some temporary weightloss--and won't make you healthier--probably less healthy. Start eating well--cut out the processed, refined crap and start eating a balanced diet. And get out and exercise (and definitely start doing some strength training). You'll lose weight, become healthier and feel great.
To Steve:
I guess that is were our ideas differ...
I don't consider my weight part of "my looks" weight is something I totally control. It is a product of my habits and behaviour. I do know that in some cases( but very very rarely) some people's weight could be affected by a health issue.
My "looks" are things that I was born with that I have no control over... the shape of my face.. my nose... etc..
Maybe that is why I've almost always had success in the area of weight control... I don't consider my weight a part of me... more a product of my habits.
So I very much think the original poster should take the bull by the horns and get as fit as she can so she can feel confident at the December meeting.
I DO agree that a great personality can overcome anything in the "looks" department... but a fit body isn't about "looks" to me... it's mostly about lifestyle and habits... I think everyone knows this on some level.
As for somebody coming up to you and saying drop 20 pounds and get some great abs.... Do you really think that would ever happen? and the original poster in no way said that the gentleman she likes is horrid like that. She said she knows that he is attracted to fit women and who isn't?
I guess that is were our ideas differ...
I don't consider my weight part of "my looks" weight is something I totally control. It is a product of my habits and behaviour. I do know that in some cases( but very very rarely) some people's weight could be affected by a health issue.
My "looks" are things that I was born with that I have no control over... the shape of my face.. my nose... etc..
Maybe that is why I've almost always had success in the area of weight control... I don't consider my weight a part of me... more a product of my habits.
So I very much think the original poster should take the bull by the horns and get as fit as she can so she can feel confident at the December meeting.
I DO agree that a great personality can overcome anything in the "looks" department... but a fit body isn't about "looks" to me... it's mostly about lifestyle and habits... I think everyone knows this on some level.
As for somebody coming up to you and saying drop 20 pounds and get some great abs.... Do you really think that would ever happen? and the original poster in no way said that the gentleman she likes is horrid like that. She said she knows that he is attracted to fit women and who isn't?
A guy's point of view
Hun, If the guy doesn't like you cuz you're a couple dress sizes more than he generally likes he won't like you if you're a couple dress sizes less. Look, I like people when they have a face AND body that I like. I'm not saying that maybe losing some weight won't make your face look better (it made mine look better!), but I don't think losing 5 pounds or whatever it takes to lose a dress size will make that much of a difference. Also, at least from my perspective, it is tough to see someone you might be interested in in a different light once they've lost weight - it is more of a first impression kind of thing - like you kind of remember the person the way they were when you first met them - you know? So they lose weight and you think "wow, great for them - they look great!" but you always kind of remember them the way you first met them....my advice is yes, be healthy, lose weight, I'm sure it will make you look great! But this is probably not the right guy to go for....and if he was he'd be with you already. Guys do like attractive partners, but if they're good partners, they will also like you b/c you have a great personality/hot booty whatever, but more than just cuz you're a couple dress sizes smaller than you were before. Go for someone new. Lose that weight and you'll have guys all over you so you'll have your choice and won't have to go back to some second tier guy!
Hun, If the guy doesn't like you cuz you're a couple dress sizes more than he generally likes he won't like you if you're a couple dress sizes less. Look, I like people when they have a face AND body that I like. I'm not saying that maybe losing some weight won't make your face look better (it made mine look better!), but I don't think losing 5 pounds or whatever it takes to lose a dress size will make that much of a difference. Also, at least from my perspective, it is tough to see someone you might be interested in in a different light once they've lost weight - it is more of a first impression kind of thing - like you kind of remember the person the way they were when you first met them - you know? So they lose weight and you think "wow, great for them - they look great!" but you always kind of remember them the way you first met them....my advice is yes, be healthy, lose weight, I'm sure it will make you look great! But this is probably not the right guy to go for....and if he was he'd be with you already. Guys do like attractive partners, but if they're good partners, they will also like you b/c you have a great personality/hot booty whatever, but more than just cuz you're a couple dress sizes smaller than you were before. Go for someone new. Lose that weight and you'll have guys all over you so you'll have your choice and won't have to go back to some second tier guy!
MsGhettoBooty
New member
Agreed. Personally speaking, a great personality and intelligence (I emphasize the latter dearly) is much more desirable than "looks."
As for the the example Steve used, "drop 20 lbs and get some abs"... ummm you'd honestly be surprised at how shallow some women can be. I've heard women say some of the most horrible things to guys. Funny thing is, you can't cut someone down when you yourself could use a bit of work "upstairs" as well as the "looks department," KWIM?
Who isn't attracted to "fit women?" Ummm depends on your definition of a "fit woman" IMO and once again, you'd be surprised at how many men like having a girl with "meat on her bones"... and no, I'm not talking someone in the size US 6-12 range either. I'm talking "thicker."
Great post, ZG. And yes... I agree with the hot booty... oops I mean great personality. HA!
-Sheryl
To me, a guy telling a girl to lose weight before he'll even think about dating her is the equivalent of a guy telling a girl he wont date her until she gets a nose job.
That is funny to me. And I guess it's all about perspective.
A Nose is something you were born with... Usually babies fly out of the womb at the perfect weight.....
To me a person saying accept me fat is like saying ... "accept me smoking 2 packs a day and accept me drinking a fifth of vodka every night" lol
But we can agree to disagree..... Have a Groovy Day
That is funny to me. And I guess it's all about perspective.
A Nose is something you were born with... Usually babies fly out of the womb at the perfect weight.....
To me a person saying accept me fat is like saying ... "accept me smoking 2 packs a day and accept me drinking a fifth of vodka every night" lol
But we can agree to disagree..... Have a Groovy Day
Ohhhh thank you! I can so work with that... lol
Ok..... Say long hair creeps you out, for whatever reason. You equate long hair with a woman taking too long to get ready, being too laid back, reminds you of Morticia from the Adams family.. lol ... whatever the reason.... I don't think that makes you automatically Shallow. We are all a product of our experiences, maybe once you found a creepy hair in your food and now you're obsessed! lol
Soooooo
Like the original poster said about her fellow... She is fond of him, she says he is a friend. If she happened to take note that he finds slim girls attractive I don't think she is selling out by trying to lose a few pounds to please him as long as she is not hurting herself . Now if she is oh so very attached to her fat and will be sad at losing it.. well of course I think she should stay as she is.
Same thing with the hair. If you were my friend and I were fond of you and I found you to be irresistable and I happened to find out that you found long hair repulsive... I just might try a cute short hair style... It's only hair... and it's only fat... both can grow back! lol
Ok..... Say long hair creeps you out, for whatever reason. You equate long hair with a woman taking too long to get ready, being too laid back, reminds you of Morticia from the Adams family.. lol ... whatever the reason.... I don't think that makes you automatically Shallow. We are all a product of our experiences, maybe once you found a creepy hair in your food and now you're obsessed! lol
Soooooo
Like the original poster said about her fellow... She is fond of him, she says he is a friend. If she happened to take note that he finds slim girls attractive I don't think she is selling out by trying to lose a few pounds to please him as long as she is not hurting herself . Now if she is oh so very attached to her fat and will be sad at losing it.. well of course I think she should stay as she is.
Same thing with the hair. If you were my friend and I were fond of you and I found you to be irresistable and I happened to find out that you found long hair repulsive... I just might try a cute short hair style... It's only hair... and it's only fat... both can grow back! lol
dariqueen
New member
LOL! Damn, Sheryl, I like you!!! And I totally and completely agree with this post.
Cutekitty, I'm where you are. I've lost 60 lbs now, and to be honest, part of the reason was vanity...I wanted to look better and feel better about myself. But the biggest part was for a guy; I wanted to look hot and rub my ex's nose in it. And last night, I did it. Had guy's flirting with me all over, right in front of him, and damn, it felt good. So I do understand your reasoning. Just make sure you remember that guys will think you're worth exactly what you show them you're worth. So make him see how 'expensive' you are.
MsGhettoBooty
New member
I've lost 60 lbs now, and to be honest, part of the reason was vanity...I wanted to look better and feel better about myself. But the biggest part was for a guy; I wanted to look hot and rub my ex's nose in it. And last night, I did it. Had guy's flirting with me all over, right in front of him, and damn, it felt good. So I do understand your reasoning. Just make sure you remember that guys will think you're worth exactly what you show them you're worth. So make him see how 'expensive' you are.
I freaking love this line: So make him see how 'expensive' you are.! HA! Good stuff. So.... did the ex have the nerve to try to speak with you? I know I'm just being a "thread highjacker," but I've always been a big fan of "getting back at idiots." HA!
-Sheryl