Hi, I hate being Fat.

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ewashactin

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Hi. I hate saying fat, but I do it so that I become desensitized to the bad feeling. I'm 19, and I've just recently been diagnosed with Poly Cyctic Ovarian Syndrome. When I hit puberty I began gaining a lot of unexplainable weight, even though I was very active with dance and later on cheerleading. I found out once I hit college about P.C.O.S. and that it causes significant weight gain, and it helped me realize why I couldn't lose it, even with a good exercise routine and little food. The only time I had every lost a lot of weight, was for my prom Junior year in high school, when I didn't eat regularly for four months, and took dexatrim twice a day, while being in to musicals. By now, I would say I could lose about 70 pounds and be very happy. I am taking two kinds of meds to combat the weight and P.C.O.S., metformin and phentomine. I have limited my food intake to one meal a day with three glasses of milk. I have begun losing weight this way, but I'm sure it isn't very healthy. I think the hardest part is that I feel people might look at me and see that I'm not as thin as everyone else so I must eat horribly and never exercise. In truth, most of my friends never work out and eat 4-5 meals a day and they are sizes 0-6. I can range from a 12-18 depending on the store. It frustrates me, b/c I don't think it's fair. Because of that I get depressed. For now though, I'm trying to remain positive. I'm sorry is this entry seems too much of a big downer. It does mean a lot that I have found this Forum and that I can benefit from all of it's support. Thank you all for listening! Just being able to let it out helps!! Hope everyone else is well! Cheers!
 
hmm, u need a shorter name ;)

anyway, i wouldn't worry about too many of your friends. I guarantee that you are better off then them. You have a head start on your friends in what it'll take to get in shape and stay in shape. Your friends are in for a huge shock in the next couple years when their metabolism no longer keeps them down to a decent weight without doing any exercise. I don't have enough fingers on my hands to count the number of girls that let themselves go after highschool.
 
Hi
I'm sorry at your young age that you feel so badly about your weight!! I've put on a ton of weight myself after high school. I realized that you really need to learn to love yourself no matter what. So what you've got some pds to loose, who doesn't?? You'll be so much better off than everyone else, if you just learn to love yourself and your body, its really a beautiful thing.
 
I try to love myself, but I really have trouble doing that b/c I crave other peoples approval, and pretty much everyone else I knwo has a better body than I do. Even those of my firends who are more overweight than I, still have a better body type because of how they carry their fat. There are things I love about my body, but the bad far out weigh the good. It's one of those things where I doubt I'll ever be satisfied unless I lose some weight. Thank you for your concern and encouragement. It means a lot. It really does.
 
It Ok hon,..your allowed to be whatever you want or need to be on here, a downer or otherwise. However, we all want to see you succeed and have happiness. In our society we really let weight define us and give us self worth...when it should be character and all that other stuff. But at 19 you just want to wear that cute outfit and feel HOTT!!!! Been there done that, and by golly at 38 still trying to get there. In all my years of wisdom, I have not come up with all the answers, but one thing I know I have to say to myself is "I can and I will", if today wasnt my day then tomorrow will be. AS corny as that is,..its working.

I pressume you are under the care of a gyn. Have you gone and expressed your concerns with your weight? ( I see that you are takin meds) However, if you dont tell them that its not working for you the way you would like it to, they may have other alternatives. Squeaky wheel gets the oil,... and sometimes we have to get real squeaky.

Good luck to you and hang in there.
 
society doesn't make it easy, that's for sure. My favorite magazine is Men's Health because it's loaded with good ideas, but i really feel down when i look at any of the pictures ... it can be good motivation, but looking like that is a lifestyle, not a choice.
 
first of all, jennifer, you seem like a really cool person with a good self image. I hope when I'm in my 30s I'm as optimistic and happy with myself! Dude, I can't even handle turning 20 in January!! Ahhhh!! Thank you for the wonderful advice. I have seen on O.B., my biggest problem with the weight is that I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. One of the side effects is significant weight gain. The medicine is suppose to help combat that so I can lose the weight, but it's still hard to take off. So basically all the doctors can do is try different meds on me concerning that and the pain and see if they work. Right now I'm doing a bit better with the ones I'm on. I've switched a couple of times. I'm hoping these will prove to be the right fit. Thanx for the concern !!

And allcndboy, it's very interesting to hear from a guys point of view concerning weight issues. "Fat is typically a feminist issue", if you don't mind me quoting from The Full Monty. Usually I'm complaining how guys have it so much easier. Magazines and movies stars have the ups and downs it's true. On one hand, it does sort of motivate me b/c I know that I want to look like them (especially since I'm studying to go into that field), but on the other hand, it's so hard for me to feel good about my body when I look at theirs and I fall into a depression which makes it difficult to eat right and do the exercise thing. Oh man!!! I would KILL to look like Nicole Kidman or Natalie Portman right now. Sometimes it's very hard not to want what others have and to be satisfied with what you've got. The grass is always greener on the other side, I suppose :(
 
This is a somewhat random post, but I'm studying film as well, with the hopes to act or direct. So, awesome!! LOL
 
Cool. I went to Columbia in Chicago, now I'm going to be going in February to the London Film Academy.
 
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