Here we go... Again

No one reads this but posting seems to help me keep on track.


Gotta keep it up, eating healthy, working out, progress seems sooo very slow :( cant let this stop me, i will be buff by summer :D


Have mainly been doing weights and abs, trying to get more cardio in to get me fit/ help with the fat loss.
 
Cleaning my room, found my old favourite shirt that got too tight when I was at my biggest... yes that shirt was tight on me to the point where I couldn't wear it... WOW! go me, it is a total of 8inches too big across my stomach now. :D
 
Just back from the gym... urgh 2 hours a day 6 days a week is exhausting, but it makes me feel good, all other life around me seems to be doom and gloom at the moment, but gym makes me happy, gotta keep up the motivation. I am lucky that my best friend is a very buff guy who goes to the gym with me every day, if he goes then i make myself go, and the weights that he lifts sets a benchmark for me to aspire to reaching and having his physique.


The highly undesirable boobs are slowly getting smaller/ firmer. My self esteem and body image are slowly getting better, however it is a big issue for me, I have never felt attractive, especially not with my shirt off, and so there are a limited number of people who have seen me this way (parents when I was in hospital and a couple of girlfriends)

I want this to change, I want to be happy with my body, but it's a huge mental issue for me. I love motorbikes and racing, putting my life in danger, yet I am scared to take my shirt off in public.

Hopefully there is a turning point soon, in a couple of weeks two of my close friends, girls, one of which I like, plan on having a spa/pool night with me and the above mentioned friend. I want to be able to confidently take my shirt off and jump in the spa with them... Well I wont have much choice so we shall see how it goes. I have the house to myself next weekend so might try just walking around shirtless to help... Idk, it seems so stupid to me but for some reason its a big deal. I thought that losing 35+ kg would make me comfortable with my appearance, but apparently not :(

But I can do it, I will get there.


sleep time zzzZZZzzZZZZZZZ
 
Hi sponge,


Thought I would drop by, it is AMAZING to see your progress!!! Such an inspiration. I feel you are being too hard on yourself about the whole shirt thing. I hope you do love to learn and accept your body mentally- weight has always been an issue for me and I have never really learned to love my body- even when I was at my lowest and healthiest weight but sometimes you need to just give yourself a pat on the back and tell yourself you look good, especially when you have put SO much into working out! You are worth it (yes, that's the L'Oreal tag line but a good one at that!)
 
Hey thanks, I have since conquered this fear, had a spa night with friends and had to just do it ( good old nike) but after not feeling judged I realised its all just me being silly. I'm getting there and I am very proud of myself, this time 2 years ago a 2xl shirt was too tight for me, today I bought a xs shirt :D
 
Originally Posted by sponge2

Hey there guys and gals,

Well I'm 19, male and from New Zealand
Click to expand...

Well with all the weight you've lost, I'd say you've got it made then. Think about the poor old guy in Newfoundland :D


Seriously, don't worry about the self-esteem issues. You're barely out of your teens, if you didn't have self-esteem issues at that age, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't like you very much. Threading that needle between hating yourself and thinking you are 'God's gift' is a skill that takes a lifetime to master. At your age, just being somewhere comfortably away from those extremes is good enough.


Keep up the good work!!
 
Have not been doing too well on the exercise front, or being healthy in general. working 60+ hour weeks and have been out drinking and partying 2 nights a week. The good news, not putting on weight, new found confidence has helped me to get a few numbers in town and even though i have been turning up to work drunk from the night before I have been offered two great promotion opportunities. that and I'm going snowboarding this weekend, life is pretty sweet at the moment.


Peace and <3
 
Sounds great!!! Glad that you are doing so well! I don't think I could party and work that much :/ Lol i would burn out but honestly, good for you! Just remember to squeeze in relaxation once in a while!
 
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