Here I go!

Michaela2

Michaela2

New member
I'm sick of being fat. I've come to accept it and it's how I see myself now. A lot of my life begins with "I wish"

I wish I was skinny
I wish I could wear nice fashionable clothes
I wish I had more energy
I wish I had enough courage to talk to guys
I wish I didn't feel inferior to skinny girls

I'm 22, just graduated and I want to be ready for the world!! My family has a long history of weight gain. Both my parents for as long as I have remembered have been over weight and both have struggled immensely with it. They both had gastric bypass last summer and have lost a lot. My dad is more dedicated to exercise, but my mom doesn't at all. She's the primary shopper so there is a lot of junk food in our house which surprises me considering their situation.

I consider myself a bored eater. Nothing to do? I'm gonna go find something in the kitchen, and like I said before, there are not many healthy options. I love to cook! I love new foods and everything about it! Living at home while searching for a job is hard because I'm not in control of the shopping. I'd love to cook for my family, but my mom is more into buying frozen meals because it's cheap and easy. Food in my family is viewed as part of celebrating. We got out to eat A LOT to celebrate me coming home from college, it's friday, you name it and it's normally fast food.

I want to be at a size 10 or 130 lbs. I'm 5'9" so I don't know how realistic 130 is. I don't like exercising because it hurts! Getting sweaty and red in the face scares me! I have a yoga belly dance tape that I really enjoy and want to start that up again and I also plan on using the treadmill.

I know my parents will support me even though getting my mom to buy healthy food may be a bit of a challenge. I made a shopping list with her for tomorrow so hopefully she sticks to that.

I really want to be able to walk into any store and wear whatever I want. I love clothes, but being a size 18 prohibits me from being able to wear in-style clothes that fit and I don't want to be one of those girls that squeeze into too tight of clothing just so they don't have to see a higher number on their jeans.

I really think support from this forum will help me immensely and I thank everyone who's helped me already! :D
 
Today wasn't a good food day.

I had a small starbucks frappacino, a bacon cheeseburger thickburger from hardees, and some other random stuff. I knew I was eating too much but I did anyway. I did measure out some condiments that I dipped my tamales into, something I normally don't do.

Then I was craving a sweet snack and was on my way to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal when my dad was coming out of it and held up an orange and red jello cup with whipped cream on it and said "Which one?" He saved me! It was a tasty little jello cup too!

Tomorrow I plan to walking with my mom to the YMCA
 
You and I are so similar its scary... but that'll just make us bffs right? Lol... You are beautiful and don't think of yourself as fat. Just think of it as trying to better yourself and get healthier. Weight is just a number, and yes I'm obsessed with that number too, but it is important to think highly of yourself at any weight or size.

We can and WILL do this together. I'm an AIM addict if you ever need or want to talk. OR Personal Messages or emails work too.
 
Good luck! :coolgleamA:


I think it usually takes time to get into the mindset/habit of being on a diet, so it is tough to get started on the first few days.
 
Today started off pretty good, except for taking a garlic pill to help my cold which I took on an empty stomach this morning and sent my stomach lurching. I felt like I was going to throw up! :(

Then AFTER reading the label that I was supposed to eat or drink before taking it I had two pieces of nine grain bread.

Breakfast:
2 pieces nine grain bread

Lunch:
6in BLT sub no cheese/condiments
Grande Carmel Frappacino Light

Dinner:
6in BLT sub no cheese/condiments
2 handfuls of tortilla chips with homemade salsa and store bought guacamole
5 homemade chocolate covered strawberries.

Pretty good day, food wise. Better than yesterday. I shouldn't have gone crazy with the chips and salsa. I still need to enter in the whole exercise bit about losing weight :D This cold I have isn't making things better either!
 
Michaela said:
I still need to enter in the whole exercise bit about losing weight :D
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Baby steps my dear! You are starting to eat better. That is one hurdle. Slowly start working in the exercise. Take a walk. Take stairs instead of elevators. Park farther away from stores and restaurants. Every little bit helps. No one expects you to jump in to working out 5 days a week!

You are doing well... and you totally didn't go overboard on the chips and salsa... 2 handfuls is not gonna kill you. I promise.
 
Thanks! I'm so intimidated by exercise. Maybe it has something to do with bad childhood memories in gym class :(


Good News! So I was counting my calories from yesterday and came up with

2,325. YIKES! But that's normally what I would eat. Then just now I counted up today's calories, 1,539! Woo hoo!! That made me very happy to see. I've also been drinking lots of water. Went grocery shopping with my mom today and picked up some items for recipes this week and then I picked up a four pack of slimfast. I've never tried them, but a girl in People lost a whole bunch of weight with them. Tomorrow's Memorial Day so I'm going to put up a force field and eat as healthy as I can and portioned sizes of the yummy stuff ;)
 
Yesterday was a bad day. Started off well, but went nuts a bit in the afternoon. I'll let it slide because it was memorial day.

Today has gone very well so far! A great lunch and making a yummy super tonight for everyone.

I might, keyword might, go to a yoga class at the Y tomorrow morning if I can get myself up by 830 :)
 
Michaela, you wrote that exercise "hurts." Have you tried different things? I find that other than the treadmill, aerobics classes and those things 'hurt' me as well. I taught myself how to swim a few months ago and I am slowly (keyword: slowly) building up my endurance. I don't find it painful, and is actually a lot of fun. I'm starting out too!
 
Hope you get to go to the yoga class o.k.I would like to go to a class one day,done a bit at home and found it gives you a great feeling.
 
Counted my calories for yesterday, around 1,600, not bad. And today, 1,100! I did much better. :)


Now I'd feel bad if I didn't go ;)
 
By hurt I mean the achy out of breath feeling lol. I know it must be done though! I did try swimming a couple of times. It's much harder than it looks! Thanks for the tips!
 
Michaela said:
Counted my calories for yesterday, around 1,600, not bad. And today, 1,100! I did much better. :)


Now I'd feel bad if I didn't go ;)
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Hey, just so you know those calorie numbers are really low for your weight. You need to eat more!

Did you ever hear that about eating healthy?? You need around 1900 to lose a pound a week. You really shouldn't go under 1500 for your weight right now. The numbers change as your weight does.
 
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