Here comes the bride...6 months to go!!

[chubbygirl]

Lisa, how do you find motivation to workout during the weekend? I think working out during the weekend makes a huuuge difference- esp because we all feel indulgence is ok during the weekend- kinda balances things out, methinks. And I love that you are back with your 'can do' attitude. Lets finish this week strong...

Thanks Juni - since I love exercising so much I look forward to it on the weekends because I have so much time on my hands and I just feel so much better afterwards! Plus I know I'm going to be naughty over the weekend so I make sure to work out an hour a day and burn some extra calories. I would love to spend a weekend hiking and site seeing but I really don't have anyone to go with and I'd be too scared to go by myself.

OK so yesterday was a great day down in the books!! One more to go until weigh-in! here's how it looked:
B - ff activia yogurt & all bran buds (2)
Snack - 2 cups mint green tea, 1 hard boiled egg & 1 hard boiled egg white w cayenne pepper (2)
L - instant regular oatmeal w 1 cup frozen blueberries (3)
Exercise - 50 min kettle bell strength
D - 4 oz bbq boneless pork chop (3), 1 corn on cob w light margarine (3) 1/2 cup brown beans in tomato sauce (2), sm veggie salad - mixed greens, cucumber, raddish, yellow peppers, cherry tomato, green onions w balsamic vinegar, lemon juice & lil olive oil (2)
Exercise - 15 min treadmill (1 mile), 15 min abs w BOSU and planks
Snack - sm banana w s.f butterscotch pudding cup (2)
On my way to bed I needed a taste of something in my mouth so I had 1 very thin slice hot genoa (1) hunnie watched to make sure I only had 1 piece!
Total points for the day 20 which is over by 1 but still under after adding in my activity points!
Stepped on my scale at home this morning and I was 145.2 so I'm hoping for a good weigh in tomorrow and maybe get to the 144 mark! I'm really hoping to lose a pound a week and since I didn't weigh in last week I want to see 2 pounds gone tomorrow. I made it on the treadmill this morning for 25 minutes and have my bag packed for the gym - so now the true test will be if I can avoid the snacks tonight! Make overs on BL so I'm excited about that tonight!
Have a great Tuesday everyone!

 

[mizzie]

Oops Lisa, looks like you got a spammer in your thread. Hate it when that happens.

Good luck at your weigh in tomorrow!

 

[skkroll]

Yay! Great job yesterday! I'm excited for your weigh in. I can't believe I'm going to wait 26 more days until mine! Be good today! I know you will. I have got to be good because I slipped up last night with the snacking but I totally didn't feel good and it made me realize how much better I feel when I just go to bed early and avoid the snacks all together! So here's to a kick ass Tuesday! I can't wait for the biggest loser makeover tonight as well!!!

~ Sarah

 

[Janvier]

Hey Lisa, Your off to such a good start this week and you did well over the weekend too! Your workouts are great as always so I think you'll be seeing a 144 on the scale tomorrow if you can stick to your meals. It was so sweet of your hunnie to keep an eye on you to keep you in check with your snacks. You can do it, I know you can! Keep working hard, my fingers are crossed for 144 tomorrow!

 

[Andy2]

Doing SO well! Boneless pork chops sounds excellent! I think ill be making some myself this weekend

Good luck on the weigh in tomorrow!

 

[RachelSilvana]

I love following your diary, it helps keep me motivated! How are the wedding plans coming? Stressed, nervous, excited? You will make a beautiful bride!

 

[juni]

On my way to bed I needed a taste of something in my mouth so I had 1 very thin slice hot genoa (1) hunnie watched to make sure I only had 1 piece!

Priceless!

Keeping my fingers crossed for you for 144 lbs this week!!

 

[Alta818]

You are doing SO fantastic Lisa!!! So proud of you for working out hard during the weekends!...If I was you, I would definitely go for a hike by myself!..It's SO TRANQUIL, and serene that it really clears up your mind. It's VERY THEREPUETIC!!

...I often find myself so much more FOCUSED & mentally alert to my goals and desires because of it! I got out to go for a HUGE 1 hour hill run yesterday!!...This is one insane mountain...but at the top I loved it and going down is amazing. The wind splashes in your face, you see the plants swaying left and right. The sun is so warm and friendly, and you can feel your breathing and lungs so much more because of the altitude. The colors of the plants right now are amazing as well!!!...I say DO IT!!! You won't regret it.

...I am SOOOO inspired by you at 145lbs!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! LISA!!!! That is beyond fantastic and I am sure you are feeling amazing and looking it too!!! What does the hunnie say now when he sees you naked?!?! I remember a long time ago, you said that you had some issues with your self image naked....How is that getting now? Are you adjusting to your new body?

Keep it up woman!!!! So proud and inspired by your dedication!!!

 

[Verobc1]

You are having such a great week foodwise and workout wise!!!!! 145 is great!!!! Just keep doing what you are doing and say no to the snack monster lol and you will see 144!!!!

 

[chubbygirl]

Oops Lisa, looks like you got a spammer in your thread. Hate it when that happens.

Thanks Mizzie - I seen that too and am glad someone deleted it. I wasn't sure how to report it.

it made me realize how much better I feel when I just go to bed early and avoid the snacks all together!

I know what you mean and you wake up actually feeling hungry instead of just blah! I always have to have something before bed even if I've just brushed my teeth so I was thinking of picking up some sugar free candies just to pop one in my mouth as I head to bed. The problem is I will probably eat them all in one night and get a tummy ache. I just can't have stuff lying around.

It was so sweet of your hunnie to keep an eye on you to keep you in check with your snacks.

It was more like he was guarding the fridge and the bag of genoa - not being sweet about it - he wasn't even going to let me have one piece but I begged and pleaded! It was pretty funny and sad too! The time it took me to savour my one slice he had already aten 10 right in front of me!

Doing SO well! Boneless pork chops sounds excellent! I think ill be making some myself this weekend

They are so much better than the bone ones I find - very juicy! Thanks Andy!

I love following your diary, it helps keep me motivated! How are the wedding plans coming? Stressed, nervous, excited? You will make a beautiful bride!

Thanks Rachel! Is it Rachel? you don't have to say. I'm so glad I am motivating you - when I am feeling motivated I like to get everyone on the motivation wagon - I even sent my sisters some motivational words this morning because they are trying to lose weight for the wedding too. Sometimes I think about telling other people that I know about this site so they can get motivation too but then I think about how personal my diary is and I'm only comfortable sharing it with strangers or people with the same goals so I back off and hog all the motivation from this site for myself!
Wedding plans need to start happening but I've been procrastinating. I have to set up appointments with the justice of peace, photographer, decorator, florist and the hall but so far I haven't set up any so yes a little stressful but I work better under stress! I'm a little nervous but excited nervous so it's ok. I think once I start doing more of the planning I will get more and more excited but right now it still feels pretty far away! Less than 100 days though!

Keeping my fingers crossed for you for 144 lbs this week!!

Thanks Juni - me too!!!

If I was you, I would definitely go for a hike by myself!..It's SO TRANQUIL, and serene that it really clears up your mind. It's VERY THEREPUETIC!!
...I am SOOOO inspired by you at 145lbs!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! LISA!!!! That is beyond fantastic and I am sure you are feeling amazing and looking it too!!! What does the hunnie say now when he sees you naked?!?! I remember a long time ago, you said that you had some issues with your self image naked....How is that getting now? Are you adjusting to your new body?

Keep it up woman!!!! So proud and inspired by your dedication!!!

Thanks Alta! well I'm nervous to go by myself because of the wild life around here. Everyone always brings bear spray with them on hikes and I think if I ran into a bear by myself I would just freeze and not even remember about the spray - I'm just a big scardy cat! I will think more about it though because I bet I would love it. Your run last night sounds amazing! Your bf doesn't know what he was missing out on!
I am feeling fantastic at 145 but only with clothing on - I don't think he has really noticed my naked self really because I just don't let him. I sleep in pjs and the lights are still always off - if you know what I mean. When I first imagined myself at 145 I thought I would be able to shower with him and I thought my desires for sex would be through the roof but in all honesty I still don't feel comfortable and I really just can't get into it and enjoy it because of it. I don't know why our sex life was so good when I was 180 pounds and now it's pretty pathetic so say the least and I know it's all my fault. Sometimes I try but it's really an act. I used to be so flirty and horney when I was bigger and I thought that would only get stronger with weight loss but it seems to have gone in the opposite direction.
I know I only have 10 pounds to go to get to my goal weight but I have a long ways to go in feeling good about myself. I hate my cellulite thighs and my loose skin tummy and all the stretch marks painted all over my body that I'm not sure I will ever be happy with myself naked. Sad but so true.

Anyway I don't want to end the post on a negative note so I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your daily visits and postings - really makes me smile to know I have so much support! I wish the day would hurry up and be over because I have too much energy right now to be at my desk!

 

[Alta818]

I would be scarred of bears too!! OMG!!! That's crazy!!!...I've only seen a baby cub once up at the Redwoods in California..and I rapidly thought "WoA! Mamma must not be too far!" ..and I left!!! hahah

...In regards to being more comfortable with your body at a heavier weight...I COMPLETELY understand you!!! I myself, have experienced that mentally being more comfortable when I was bigger.

..I've given it a lot of thought, and the fact that at the higher weight...we felt "OURSELF", we felt that ..this is going to be us forever, so get comfortable in this skin. We were used to being there ..consciously and for sure subconsciously. We still had "love" at that weight, and didn't really feel much restrictions on our behalf in the bedroom or eating wise..because this is where we were staying. This was "me". Love it or leave it. It takes the mind at least a good long period to adjust to the "New" you. I always felt, when I was bigger ...that "you love me for me, no matter what is on the outside." ...It's almost as if it was a test.

...the truth is ...that they love us for us, just as we loved us for us then. Now we just are RESHAPING our mentality of ourselves and continuously justifying "WHY" this new me is so much better than the OLD ME..that still had love from ourselves and others. It's about health now though. And keeping those goals focused.

...It feels sometimes, like by changing so much, that it creates a feeling of being ashamed of the you that you were...yet we are constantly trying to change it. I think it will get better for you in the bedroom. It just takes time and a knowing that you are HOT no matter what you look like outside. You were HOT then, and HOT now....Mainly...your insides are SUPER HOT and know that you are loved "FOR THE TRUE INNER YOU"! I love you...and I haven't even met you!! xoxoxo....and I think you are HOT...and if I was a man...I'd want to marry you too..so I could TAP IT, FLIP IT, SLAP IT, RUB it down..."...for the rest of my life too!!! ****wink WINK*** hahaha....

...Show your sexiness and you WILD SIDE!!! (that's what's the sexiest on a person after all. The enthusiasm in them is sexier in the bedroom, than what they actually look like. Focusing on your beautiful parts and mainly on the OTHER PERSON during sex is soooooo hot!)!!! You deserve all those adoring glances and looks and touches!

 

[mrskt20]

Good luck on your weigh in tomorrow!
Theresa

 

[luzdafuzz]

I'm sure weigh in tomorrow will be great!!!

It's a bit sad about your low self confidence... but like Alta said, you were comfortable with yourself when you were bigger, you've just got to get used to your new body and get comfortable again. You just have to remember on days that you are really feeling it, you have a fiance that loves you to death and thinks you're GORGEOUS. He doesn't see any of the flaws that you do- one day you'll wake up tired of picking yourself to pieces and see yourself as a whole again in a much smaller, firmer body that you worked SO hard to achieve and you will feel as great as you do on the inside as you look on the outside.

Funny how it's different for everyone- I had all sorts of low self esteem problems, body issues, depresson, anxiety, ALL of it for years when growing up... then one day I decided not to let it bother me any more. I honestly couldn't say what changed in me, it wasn't when I was smaller (I think it could have even been at the start of my relationship with my now-husband... I weighed about 15kgs heavier) I mean, I've never had the confidence to wear a bikini in public or anything but I don't mind walking around the house naked on lazy weekends Haven't owned a pair of pjs for about 3 years now either... lol TMI!!!

 

[Sunflower2]

I think our minds take a lot longer to catch up to our bodies. I'm still about 15-20 pounds away from where I want to be but I thought after loosing so much I'd have some sort of confidence. I do some days but I still wont get 100 % naked in bed and sex in the shower (or even showering together) is out of the question to me to. You'll get there, Lisa. It'll just take time xxx

 

[chubbygirl]

I myself, have experienced that mentally being more comfortable when I was bigger.

...the truth is ...that they love us for us, just as we loved us for us then.

Thanks Alta, lol you can always make me smile! It's good to know I'm not alone in this. I know my hunnie loves me and thinks I'm damn sexy - I just need to think that too. I'll get there.

Good luck on your weigh in tomorrow!
Theresa

Thanks I think I am going to need some kind of luck.

It's a bit sad about your low self confidence... but like Alta said, you were comfortable with yourself when you were bigger, you've just got to get used to your new body and get comfortable again.

Thanks Luz and I think your right - I think it's just going to take me some time and I'm ready to open up a little more about it and that might help.

I think our minds take a lot longer to catch up to our bodies.

Thanks Sunflower - it's nice to know I'm not the only one going through this.

Ok so I am really really crabby right now and feel like screaming!!! I had a great day yesterday and the morning was going good until I was standing at the front door waiting for my hunnie to give me a kiss good bye (like we do every day) and wish each other a good day at work and he brings up buying symbals for his drum set. He brought it up yesterday and mentioned a sale on where you buy one and get one - but one still costs almost $300. I didn't say much about it yesterday except that it wasn't very good timing. Well this morning he says so last night my symbal broke so I'm going to take advantage of that sale tonight. I look at him kinda annoyed and he says something along the lines of me only saying no to purchases that he wants to make but if I want a new pair of jeans in Calgary then we have enough money. I got so pissed because we just got a new truck which costs $90 to fill with gas every week, we are planning a wedding and taking a trip this weekend to Calgary and really can't afford to do any of those but have been making do and because I mentioned I would like to buy a new pair of jeans in Calgary this weekend (which might cost $40) I'm the bad guy by saying no to the symbals. That was just the tip of the icing because I was already crabby because he hasn't been helping with any cleaning since he was off work and mentioned the sink was getting really dirty to me this morning! WTF - it's his gross tooth paste that he can't rinse down the sink that makes it so dirty and why can't he clean it for once!!!! GRRRRR I was so pissed I just ran out of the house and took off - I couldn't even get into it with him because I felt like I was going to snap! He send me a txt message on my way to work that says "thanks babe" - thanks for what!! For being pissed and not kissing him good bye!! Grrrrr I'm just so mad and I know I'm going to be fuming all day until I see him and we work it out - I hate fighting and it really gets to me.
As I was driving to work and getting all worked up I remembered my weigh-in and how stress doesn't help and tried to take some deep breathes and writing it out is helping but I just wish he would call me and apologize but he's not like that. I will have to say the first words or we will be silent to each other all night.
Anyway on a more positive note I had a great day yesterday - minus a couple unnecessary snacks before bed. Here's how it looked:
Exercise - 25 min treadmill (2 miles - intervals)
B - ff activia yogurt & 1/3 cup all bran buds (2)
Snack - 2 cups mint green tea
L - veggie salad - mixed greens, raddish, carrot, yellow peppers, green onions, cucumber, cherry tomatos w ff tomato & oregano dressing. (2)
Snack - apple (1)
D - 3 oz Atlantic salmon filet w dill (5), corn on cob w tiny bit light margarine (2), home made sweet potato fries (chopped & baked w olive oil spray & dill) & ketchup (4), olive oil for cooking salmon & fries (2)
Exercise - 27 min treadmill (2 miles), 10 min abs, 8 min step aerobics, squats
Snacks - s.f. butterscotch pudding cup, cucumber & cherry tomato w sprinkle white balsamic vinegar & salt (1), orange (1), 1 piece whole wheat bread toasted w light jam (2)
I was 3 points over but earned that many at least with activity so all in all it was a good day. I wasn't hungry for the toast but just wanted it, probably because I was tired.
BL was so good - I loved the makeovers and thought they all looked so great! I didn't like Daris's hair though when he was working out after the makeover - too big and poofy still at the top.
I took some measurements this morning and will post them after my weigh in. I think some of them might be down but can't remember.
I have lots of work to do today and just can't concentrate - I can't stop thinking about my hunnie and our fight - I hate this feeling.

 

[Verobc1]

Hi Lisa......I totally get your frustration! Mu hubby is into video games and owns the Wii, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, Nintendo game cube, Playstation 2. and can't even name the games he doesn own. I hate that he spends so much cash on that junk, everytime he bring up the idee of a game I want to grab one of the consols and throw it on the floor, then he says well I Work Hard I deserve it I have 10 hour days! I am thinking So What my day starts at 5am and never ends before 10 pm that is over 12 hours I have like 3 job only one of wich I get paid for. I totally get your frustration...Men and women just don't see money the same way I guess. I hope that you get that stress out before your weigh in!!! Good Luck!

 

[skkroll]

Men... I tell ya! Everything will be fine though... tell him if the symbols were only $40 like your jeans then it would not be a big deal! Maybe there are some used ones he can find for a lot cheaper? Well anyway if you still have that frustration later use it on the treadmill

I loved the Biggest Loser makeovers!!! SAM IS SO HOTT!!! I even thought Mike was lookin' pretty fine!!! Daris looked good when his hair was slicked back but not when it was a poof ball from working out... he should probably shave it off! And when they showed Stephanie at home with Sam... she looked amazing! She always reminds me of you for some reason

Good luck at your weigh in, I look forward to hearing back from you later! Hope your day gets better!
~ Sarah

 

[Verobc1]

I missed the show...I will try to catch it online later today!

 

[Alta818]

Men... I tell ya! Everything will be fine though... tell him if the symbols were only $40 like your jeans then it would not be a big deal! Maybe there are some used ones he can find for a lot cheaper? Well anyway if you still have that frustration later use it on the treadmill

I loved the Biggest Loser makeovers!!! SAM IS SO HOTT!!! I even thought Mike was lookin' pretty fine!!! Daris looked good when his hair was slicked back but not when it was a poof ball from working out... he should probably shave it off! And when they showed Stephanie at home with Sam... she looked amazing! She always reminds me of you for some reason

Good luck at your weigh in, I look forward to hearing back from you later! Hope your day gets better!
~ Sarah

Sam is DELICIOUS!!! I was actually JEALOUS at the end when he went with the other girl!...I thought I could be a PERFECT match !! hehehe I was alone and yelling in my head "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SAM!!" You were supposed to WAIT for me!!! hahaha

 

[Janvier]

Hi Lisa,

I'm sorry to hear that your day started out with you being crabby and stressed. Men seem to have such a hard time combining money and priorities. I hope your day gets better and I hope you had a good weigh in. You did so great yesterday! Keep working hard and don't let the fight get you down, you will make up and everything will be okay.

I can totally relate to what your going through with your self image and your sex life...(even though I haven't had sex in ages lol -the downs of singlehood)...I was the same way, when I was at my heaviest I was so into it and wanted it all the time...now I just cringe at the thought of someone seeing me naked. I would want the room to be pitch black! I think we were just used to that body being who we were, and now that we are trying to re-sculpt our bodies we are more self-conscience because we want it to be perfect. When I tried on a bikini for the first time I was thinking am I really going to show that I have allll of these stretch marks? Will people be looking at my jiggly butt and thighs?? But you are right, your hunnie thinks you are damn sexy and you are!!! You have worked so hard and look AMAZING! Our minds will catch up to our bodies...it will just take time.