Helping Other People

[Socrates1]

Alright, so I've kind of gotten to where I want to be as far as weight goes. However, my SO has recently expressed a desire to lose weight. It seems like it'd be easy - SO is maybe a pound or two overweight but just wants to get lower in the healthy range of BMI (from say 25 to 22/23) but motivation is very difficult. SO is really bad about promising to go jog/swim/bike/do yoga and then suddenly being busy or not feeling like it. For a while, they were really enthused about the idea and went to the gym 2-3 times a week with me. But now, there's always an excuse. The frustrating part is that somwhere deep down, SO clearly does want to go, and talks about needing to lose a few extra lbs. daily. And it's not entirely about weight loss - SO is busy at school, and has basically become sedentary. Even if SO was at their idea of an ideal weight, the sedentarism is still unhealthy.

My question: how do you help someone who has some desire to lose weight but can't get motivated? I'm actually okay with SO's weight right now, but SO constantly talks about it, and I feel dumb because I've managed to lose weight but I can't help them. I've tried all the nice ways of asking, tried varying the activity, tried making bargains - I never guilt trip or show my frustration. But at this point, it is very frustrating. I love exercising, my SO wants to get fit, and, like anyone else, I'd like to date someone who's healthy and energetic - in other words, this is clearly a good idea, and it's frustrating that SO refuses to get on board.

 

[KaraCooks]

Until your SO is ready to commit, there's nothing you can do. You might have to actually sit him/her down and say so. He (I'm going to use he as a generic - you put a lot of effort into not giving any indication of male or female which I don't understand, but I'm not about to contort my sentences that way) is going to have to make the decision for himself to actually follow through. And at some point you'll have to tell him that you want to help, but if he's not going to follow through then just quit talking about it becuase it's not fair to either of you.