Help,i am Huge!!

slimsadie said:
u know what my Bf says..that i am fat huge..and things like that..and he doesnt find me anything closer to what u ppl said..and it hurts:(

u can workout with your Gf, to motivate her and even if she cant make it ..please never tease her..u love her soul not body right?:)
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I think that we are all attracted to different bodytypes and it would seem some individuals have 'strange expectations' on what is attractice, at least in my mind. I think your bf has the image that the anorexic figure is attractive and I think this is pretty common in Asian populations (you are Asian, right?).

I remember sitting in Mandarin class at the university and the room was filled with Chinese and Japanese students. While some had been 'Americanized' and some had not, many of their conversations they held in English often revolved around looks and physiques and it occured to me that the Asian culture has a completely different outlook on beauty.

That being said...
If your boyfriend is emotionally abusive and degrades you, you need to drop him. Yes...yes...I know, you love him and in some strange way he may love you but in a relationship where one is constantly being hit with negative feedback, resentment builds and that makes for bad stuff. Anyway, I'd break up with him and find someone that appreciated you.

But in the end it's up to you...keep feeling bad and stay with him or end it and find someone else that won't bring you down.
 
I agree with Evolution. I tell my daughter there are soooo many fish in the sea. Don't settle for a fish that doesn't make you feel good, etc. If you decided to take your current fish off the hook and put him back in the water, happy fishing to you! Please don't take this personally - I am only trying to help.
 
evolution said:
I think that we are all attracted to different bodytypes and it would seem some individuals have 'strange expectations' on what is attractice, at least in my mind. I think your bf has the image that the anorexic figure is attractive and I think this is pretty common in Asian populations (you are Asian, right?).

I remember sitting in Mandarin class at the university and the room was filled with Chinese and Japanese students. While some had been 'Americanized' and some had not, many of their conversations they held in English often revolved around looks and physiques and it occured to me that the Asian culture has a completely different outlook on beauty.

That being said...
If your boyfriend is emotionally abusive and degrades you, you need to drop him. Yes...yes...I know, you love him and in some strange way he may love you but in a relationship where one is constantly being hit with negative feedback, resentment builds and that makes for bad stuff. Anyway, I'd break up with him and find someone that appreciated you.

But in the end it's up to you...keep feeling bad and stay with him or end it and find someone else that won't bring you down.
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Aww Hugs evo

i am not chinese or japanese,i am from sub continent india/pakistan etc etc
indian ladies are skinny naturally ,and since the amount of work they have to do they dont gain much weight..plus eating unproccessed food helps alot
...so the standard of beauty here is alot different..if u are 5lbs over weight u are teased ..and unfortuantely that what happened to me..my Bf teased me when i was overweight and still he thinks i look fat..and i should reduce weight around my thighs waist and hips..well my waist used to be 22 when i was 17..now its 26:|..but i am 25 now and had a kid..but he doesnt understand:(
i will do anything to look like that ..and i am doing my best..getting in shape has got to do more with my self esteem than just getting a sexy body so he could like me...i am so teased and told that i am ugly that i have a very low self esteem now..but one day i ill be proud of me:)
*Fingers crossed*
as far as getting out of the relationship is concerned..it is easier said than done,since u dont know our culture...if u have been in a relationship,or are divorced for instance..u wont be able to get a sensible loving/caring husband/bf,its the harsh reality ..so staying in an abusive relationship is far better than living alone(here)
thanks for the wonderful words
Tc
sadie
 
goal2befit said:
I agree with Evolution. I tell my daughter there are soooo many fish in the sea. Don't settle for a fish that doesn't make you feel good, etc. If you decided to take your current fish off the hook and put him back in the water, happy fishing to you! Please don't take this personally - I am only trying to help.
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It is so true
thanks for the wonderul thought:)
but it isnt easy ,atleast for me right now..and speacially where i live
my be in next 5 yaers ,but God knows!
 
Well Sadie, I was gonna keep my nose out of this one. But I'll just say this one thing. I''ll pray for you so that you find a way out of this relationship. This ass has no respect for you, so there ain't no way he loves you. No respect, No love, period. Sorry if this post seems cruel, it's not meant to be. It's just a shame to see that you are, as you say it, better off in an abusive relationship, than livng alone. Well, at least you know we care about you. :)
 
Sadie, you're man is an a-hole! No offense but most guys are anyway...it doesn't matter what you do to make youself look better for them cuz they will still find a way to crush your spirit! They don't realize half the sh*it they do and say is hurtful and they blame on "what, I'm a guy"...

Don't even get me started-bad weekend LOL

Edit: by the way, you look great and if can't see that, then it's his problem...take joy in the fact that others appreciate your hard work!
 
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Thanks

JPC and Moonbeam
what i told u isnt even 5% of what i have to go through on daily basis...but i am not alone ,where i live its a land of Jerks,and Dumb@$$es
they treat women like a property and dont care about their sentiments and needs( emotional and physical)..so is my guy..and he is far more than just verbal abuser..but its my fate i know ..and i am stuck with him for good..since if i am out of this relatinship,there is no respect for me in the world and tota social boycott,so i am trying my best ,so i make up to his standards(that i will never be)
thanks for your time hugs
 
slimsadie said:
Aww Hugs evo

i am not chinese or japanese,i am from sub continent india/pakistan etc etc
indian ladies are skinny naturally ,and since the amount of work they have to do they dont gain much weight..plus eating unproccessed food helps alot
...so the standard of beauty here is alot different..if u are 5lbs over weight u are teased ..and unfortuantely that what happened to me..my Bf teased me when i was overweight and still he thinks i look fat..and i should reduce weight around my thighs waist and hips..well my waist used to be 22 when i was 17..now its 26:|..but i am 25 now and had a kid..but he doesnt understand:(
i will do anything to look like that ..and i am doing my best..getting in shape has got to do more with my self esteem than just getting a sexy body so he could like me...i am so teased and told that i am ugly that i have a very low self esteem now..but one day i ill be proud of me:)
*Fingers crossed*
as far as getting out of the relationship is concerned..it is easier said than done,since u dont know our culture...if u have been in a relationship,or are divorced for instance..u wont be able to get a sensible loving/caring husband/bf,its the harsh reality ..so staying in an abusive relationship is far better than living alone(here)
thanks for the wonderful words
Tc
sadie
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It just doesn't seem right at all to me! Maybe you should dump him and find an american hottie that really knows you're beautiful (because you are!!). I can't imagine how he could ever tell you things like that- especially after you've been pregnant!! Tell him to have a kid, and we'll see how good he looks afterwards!
Not to say that you don't look good, because I think you look awesome. In fact, I didn't really believe you when you said you had a kid :D Hope I look as good as you after that!
 
Slim, I somewhat understand your culture. Not an understanding in the sense that I have lived there but in the sense that in my literature classes we have spent quite a bit of time on Eastern literature and we spend a lot of time talking about other cultures and how they live/believe. Not to mention, it's quite diversified at the university and so you have students from all around the world that makes for good conversation on what other cultures are like.

So, I do understant that you will be outcast and be viewed as 'damaged goods' by the others in society. I understand that it's really this way only towards women and I think for those in the Western cultures we don't understand this because we haven't lived like this for awhile. However, it wasn't that long ago that America was close to this way of thinking also. In fact, in many cultures women weren't seen as much higher than dogs and dogs were viewed with disdain.

Good luck to you and always the best to you. I don't assume that making your way to another country is even viable for you?
 
Love the upper body pic..just now seen it. Keep of the good work. If I showed you what my upper body pic looks like, all you would see it my sagging boobs, depending on what I wear. :D

What part of the sub continent india/pakinstan are you from? Greene was wondering.
 
She47441 said:
Love the upper body pic..just now seen it. Keep of the good work. If I showed you what my upper body pic looks like, all you would see it my sagging boobs, depending on what I wear. :D

What part of the sub continent india/pakinstan are you from? Greene was wondering.
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i am wondering why didnt stingo came with his famous libe in reply of your post:D

i will rather Pm u about my exact location;)
 
Brady12 said:
It's so obvious, she's from Lilhottieville....
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oh u are my neighbour do u know that;)
 
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