Hello - Seriously Overweight

[Serein]

Hello Everyone,

Well for me this is the first step into making a change in my life. I've been nervous to do this but excited aswell. Gives me abit of hope, and damn do I ever need motivation.

I'm 30 and I am morbidly obese. This is actually both liberating and scary as hell admitting all this. (I don't know what I weigh because scales aren't big enough and they tried to weight me with two scales which was humilating so I am guessing I am 400 pounds, possibly more)I'm huge, and have only seen a handful of people that are larger than myself. I've made myself this way basically because I never really cared. I eat/ate the wrong foods and I knew it. I lack motivation and will power, so making this account and becoming part of this community I am hoping that I can finally start looking after myself and begin the journey to liking myself.

I have done so much damage to myself physically. I look at myself in the mirror and I can't believe what I see.. I don't like what I see and have struggled for most of my life dealing with issues of self hate. Even as recent as yesterday I considered death as an alternative to the way I am now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going suicidal, I have those feelings at time but I have people in my life whom I love and would never put them through that. It's just that I've felt so helpless and hopeless. But really, it's time to start being real. For me to stop making excuses and to be a better, healthier me. I've just been exsisting rather than living for such a long time, I don't want to spend the rest of my life being scared about being seen, or when I can find seating and watching the fun rather than experiencing it.

I really need support, and would love help and especially friendship along the way. I see the look of horror/disgust when I walk pass people that I've become scared to get out and get the help and just became trapped within myself. I'm screaming on the inside and it's about time I listened to my inner voice.

I'm just getting my head around all the information , and then I want to set up eating plans and exersize routines and keep a diary of it all.

My weight is not just the only change I need to make. I have other issues I need to address with my self esteem underneath the weight but doing this a start.

Will you please help me with this journey?


Serein

 

[Judyb]

Welcome Serein. I kind of understand what you mean by "liberating" to admit that you are obese. I never used that word...but admitting the actual number the scale was telling me was difficult.

On the bright side, if you weigh 400 pounds, the initial weight loss should be rapid enough to inspire you to continue.

Mostly I would suggest you get your body moving. Walking can be very effective exercise. Also keep track of what you eat, don't estimate. I use fitday (a free site) to track my calories, nutrition and weight.

Sometimes it feels like no progress is being made so it helps to have a record that you can look back at. I know I've had periods when it feels like I'm just not losing weight, so I go look at my graph that tracks my weight loss for the last year and I feel much better when I see the overall downward trend.

Lots of good info in the sticky threads here. You should be able to work out a realistic number of calories for you to consume based upon your weight. Just don't try to go to low to begin with, it seems that is a recipe for failure.

Good luck!

 

[maleficent]

I'd suggest reading the stickied threads... you have to be able to help yourself and part of helping yourself is a lot of re-education of what you thought you knew and changing your perceptions.

Remind yourself that you didnt get to where you are overnight -you aren't going to lose it overnight -it's a lifestyle change and a process of a lot of little changes you will make to yourself - including your relationship with food and your attitude about yourself.

it's taken me close to 2 years to lose 200lbs (ok so the last 6 months I've been totally skacking) I'm twice your age... it's possible to do it - just have patience with yourself and take every meal and every day as it comes and do the best you can.

Start by starting somewhere.. its said that it takes 28 days to build a habit (or 21 days depending on what you're reading) take your new habits one habit at a time.. and it becomes almost effortless.

What could some of your habits be?
1. Walking for 20 minutes a day.
2. Recording everything you put in your mouth in a food diary liek the one's at or one o fthe hundres of other sites on the web.
3. Planning your meals in advance - for the day and/or the week -it's a great tool so you know what you can or cant eat.
4. Work iwht a reasonable amount of calories during the day (it's not 1200 or 1500 for yor current weight -it's probably be clsoer to 2500-3000 calories)
5. Remind yourself daily as to why you want to lose weight - and hold on ot that reason -and yeah yeah yeah - health is the one every says - be honest with yourself - you don't have to say it outloud.. but know whaat your reaason was (mine - I wanted to be able to wear lingerie from victoria's secret i loooove my hot pink bra from vs

My favorite quote I use from the book The Power of One (a book about apartheid but really could be appllied to anything that requires change) a Waterfall began with a single drop of water - and now look what it's become - Find that drop of water

 

[tamwalt]

Hey Serein. Welcome to the forum. Reading your post really hit home for me to the point of tears. I won't say I know where you are, because none of us have walked in your shoes, but I've been and am still at a similar place with self hatred and it was really hard for me to even admit I was morbidly obese, that's a really big step to take, and coming here asking for support is also a huge step. I agree with everyone else, read up on the stickies, start tracking your calories (once you have figured out how many you need), and start a diary, it's wonderful for not only accountability, but also for looking back to see your success and bad days also. I wish you the best of luck and I want you to know that it is possible, and you will succeed as long as you stick with it. You CAN do it! See you around the forums.

 

[Serein]

Thanks Guys

Really appreciate the support and the advice.

Maleficent, wow awesome weightloss. I do know what you mean about being honest for your reasons for wanting to lose weight. For the longest time, I just wanted to lose weight to wear certain clothing.. Reality check was seeing a Documentry on TV last week about two overweight people (whom I am much bigger than) struggling with health issues.. They were on a cocktail of medication each morning and night and had oxygen tubes helping them breathe.. Fortunately I'm not in need of any medication or have any health issues and can walk around without the huge struggle they had, but I could so easily be..

I have a really amazing partner.. He loves me, all of me and he's so protective and ready to begin this journey with me.. (even though he's a skinny lil thing ) I'm sure he wouldn't complain though if I had a goal of getting myself some VS items

Judyb, I'll definately work my way through the forums.. I never knew or even thought of checking online for a community like this.. So finding it has just blown me away.. thanks for that..

Thanks tamwalt.. It means alot that you took the time to leave a comment.. It's why I made this thread, so for myself I have put it out there and there's accountability.. I feel so inspired..

Again, thanks guys!

 

[isaaczeke]

The only thing I'd add to the above is to learn to enjoy your little successes. Losing five pounds might not seem like much if you want to lost a lot more, but it's progress and shows you're doing the right thing. Also, be careful when weighing yourself... make sure you do it at the same time of day, naked or wearing the same clothes. Keep in mind that your weight can vary 5-10 pounds based on your hydration and the recency/regularity of bowel movements.