Hello. I am twenty seven. I weight about two hundred and fifty pounds. After I had my baby I went from a size twelve to a size fifteen to a nineteen to a twenty two! I feel horrible about myself and as much as I want to I have zero motivation. I want to live a long life for my daughter. I am scared that because I am fat I'm going to live a short and very un physical life. I find it hard to go on walks. I get tired fast and I just feel horrible about myself. I know I have to start by eating healthy but since I don't work I just sit home, finish my cleaning, take my daughter to school, and eat at least three to four times a day. Sometimes healthy sometimes not. And sometimes I just eat because I am bored. I feel sick and horrible and nasty. I need help.
Hello. I ned help. Is anyone out there?
- Thread starter dlphngrl
- Start date
Emerald1
New member
Good news, you have the ability. Having a baby is one of the hardest things that any human being has to go through. If you can do that, you can walk.
What you have to do is realize that in the end it's all up to you making the decision to do it and sticking to it. Eating healthy is your decision. Exercising is your decision. Even thinking that you look horrible is your decision. You are in control of your life. Your schedule is not. (as hard as that may be to believe).
If you want to be healthier. Get healthier.
Seek motivation. Find what motivates you: new items as a reward for eating right? Going on a trip after exercising for two months? A new outfit to suit your new body after losing 20lbs?
What kind of person you are determines what motivates you. Think about your likes and dislikes and start from there.
You have to stop defeating yourself right off the bat. You've said:
- "I get tired easily" when instead you should say "I'm going to make it my goal to walk longer without getting tired".
- "I'm scared because I'm fat and going to live a short life" when you should say "This is where I start. Not where I end!"
- "I feel sick horrible and nasty" when you should have said "I'm alive, willing and able. So let's do this!"
In the end it's all up to you.
Hi, and welcome 
You've taken the first, most important step, in my opinion, which is asking for help. So well done for doing that- even that can take some bravery. And I'd dispute that you have zero motivation. You said "I want to live a long life for my daughter". That's a whole heap of motivation right there- or at least some incredible inspiration to give you motivation.
The secret to weight loss is eating less calories than you burn. No, that doesn't mean you need to go crazy and burn 2-3000 calories a day. In order to work out how many calories you need, find a BMR calculator (search "BMR calculator" on a search engine and they'll pop up all over the place) and calculate your maintenance calories (the amount you'd need to eat to stay the same weight that you are). Then reduce from that either 30% (which is a number recommended around here) or between 500 and 1000 calories (with 500 you should in theory lose a pound a week, with 1000 in theory two- as a pound of fat is worth 3500 calories). Never reduce that number below 1200, or 1000 under maintenance, or you risk slowing your metabolism and giving yourself greater health problems in the long run. The number you get (I'd calculate it for you, but I don't have all the necessary information) is the amount of calories you can eat in a day. I look on it as a budget.
There are lots of different diets out there, but the ones that work all have behind them the principle of calories in/ calories out. At a minimum I'd suggest becoming more aware of the nutrition in your food- read the labels, make lower calorie choices where you can. Ideally calorie counting is the way to be most in control of this (measuring/ weighing your food and tracking it on a program like fitday, which is highly recommended around here). At the end of the day, you need a system that works for you. Calorie counting is working very, very well for me, but not everyone likes that sort of system.
In order to find out more about food and nutrition, I'd recommend reading the stickied posts (the ones at the top of each sub-forum), which have some really invaluable information in them. I'd also recommend looking to the health guidelines for your country for an idea of what you should be eating (or alternately, the NHS in England, where I am, has some really easy to understand information: ). Find foods that you enjoy and that are healthy- berries are a good example. Also find foods that you find filling and include more of those in your diet (for example, I swapped cereal for porridge/ oatmeal, as it's much more filling for a lower calorie allowance).
In terms of exercise, take things a day at a time. When I was just about to turn 21 I had glandular fever (mono) and ended up being bedridden for six weeks as a result of some rare complications. I was incredibly weakened as a result of that and became very dependent- I had trouble walking to the other end of my house to go to the bathroom. I started to see a physiotherapist, who recommended baby steps. He got me walking 10 minutes a day on a treadmill, at a speed I was comfortable with (very slowly), and increased that speed by a minute a day. I went, slowly but surely, from spending all my energy walking to the bathroom once a day, to walking briskly and running on the treadmill for an hour a day. I also lost a bucketload of weight (40 kilograms, or 88 pounds- from 100 kilograms of 220 pounds). I recommend a similar approach for you. Walk a little- to the end of your street, a couple of houses down from you, something that's a little bit tiring but not exhausting (by the time you get back, not just when you've gone one way). And every day, walk a little bit further- for an extra minute on top of what you did the day before. You'll find your fitness increases a little every day. Keep the steps up trivial so it's not daunting. Any exercise is better than no exercise, and this is a good way to start.
Finally, for additional motivation, I suggest visiting the diary and before/ after sections to see what other people are doing and have done- you'll see that it is possible, and get some ideas of what you can do yourself.
Good luck, and again, congratulations on making that first step
You've taken the first, most important step, in my opinion, which is asking for help. So well done for doing that- even that can take some bravery. And I'd dispute that you have zero motivation. You said "I want to live a long life for my daughter". That's a whole heap of motivation right there- or at least some incredible inspiration to give you motivation.
The secret to weight loss is eating less calories than you burn. No, that doesn't mean you need to go crazy and burn 2-3000 calories a day. In order to work out how many calories you need, find a BMR calculator (search "BMR calculator" on a search engine and they'll pop up all over the place) and calculate your maintenance calories (the amount you'd need to eat to stay the same weight that you are). Then reduce from that either 30% (which is a number recommended around here) or between 500 and 1000 calories (with 500 you should in theory lose a pound a week, with 1000 in theory two- as a pound of fat is worth 3500 calories). Never reduce that number below 1200, or 1000 under maintenance, or you risk slowing your metabolism and giving yourself greater health problems in the long run. The number you get (I'd calculate it for you, but I don't have all the necessary information) is the amount of calories you can eat in a day. I look on it as a budget.
There are lots of different diets out there, but the ones that work all have behind them the principle of calories in/ calories out. At a minimum I'd suggest becoming more aware of the nutrition in your food- read the labels, make lower calorie choices where you can. Ideally calorie counting is the way to be most in control of this (measuring/ weighing your food and tracking it on a program like fitday, which is highly recommended around here). At the end of the day, you need a system that works for you. Calorie counting is working very, very well for me, but not everyone likes that sort of system.
In order to find out more about food and nutrition, I'd recommend reading the stickied posts (the ones at the top of each sub-forum), which have some really invaluable information in them. I'd also recommend looking to the health guidelines for your country for an idea of what you should be eating (or alternately, the NHS in England, where I am, has some really easy to understand information: ). Find foods that you enjoy and that are healthy- berries are a good example. Also find foods that you find filling and include more of those in your diet (for example, I swapped cereal for porridge/ oatmeal, as it's much more filling for a lower calorie allowance).
In terms of exercise, take things a day at a time. When I was just about to turn 21 I had glandular fever (mono) and ended up being bedridden for six weeks as a result of some rare complications. I was incredibly weakened as a result of that and became very dependent- I had trouble walking to the other end of my house to go to the bathroom. I started to see a physiotherapist, who recommended baby steps. He got me walking 10 minutes a day on a treadmill, at a speed I was comfortable with (very slowly), and increased that speed by a minute a day. I went, slowly but surely, from spending all my energy walking to the bathroom once a day, to walking briskly and running on the treadmill for an hour a day. I also lost a bucketload of weight (40 kilograms, or 88 pounds- from 100 kilograms of 220 pounds). I recommend a similar approach for you. Walk a little- to the end of your street, a couple of houses down from you, something that's a little bit tiring but not exhausting (by the time you get back, not just when you've gone one way). And every day, walk a little bit further- for an extra minute on top of what you did the day before. You'll find your fitness increases a little every day. Keep the steps up trivial so it's not daunting. Any exercise is better than no exercise, and this is a good way to start.
Finally, for additional motivation, I suggest visiting the diary and before/ after sections to see what other people are doing and have done- you'll see that it is possible, and get some ideas of what you can do yourself.
Good luck, and again, congratulations on making that first step
fatandpushing40
New member
You Are Not Alone
I understand what you are dealing with. My wife and I are in the exact same situation. My daughter is 19 months old and my wife has been out of work sine she was born, and I lost my job in Feb, so all we do is sit home during the day and eat until its time to pick her up from daycare.
I actually did manage to start a regular exercise routine last year that I have stuck with for an entire year. I train and fight Mixed Martial Arts. I have been overweight since I was a toddler. I have been to fat camps in the summer and had many gym memberships but none of that ever helped me for long, but once I found a way to get a good workout that I found fun it became easy to stick to it.
I don’t know you so I don’t know your personal interests but maybe what you need is to find an aerobics class or something during the day. The class is not only a great way to get out of the house and get a good workout, but you will probably find other moms in a similar situation as your own that would be willing to provide you will support and some well deserved adult conversation.
Just 2 or 3 hrs a week and some changes in your diet and you will find you have more energy to play with your daughter and you will greatly improve your chances of being around to see her and her kids grow up.
I understand what you are dealing with. My wife and I are in the exact same situation. My daughter is 19 months old and my wife has been out of work sine she was born, and I lost my job in Feb, so all we do is sit home during the day and eat until its time to pick her up from daycare.
I actually did manage to start a regular exercise routine last year that I have stuck with for an entire year. I train and fight Mixed Martial Arts. I have been overweight since I was a toddler. I have been to fat camps in the summer and had many gym memberships but none of that ever helped me for long, but once I found a way to get a good workout that I found fun it became easy to stick to it.
I don’t know you so I don’t know your personal interests but maybe what you need is to find an aerobics class or something during the day. The class is not only a great way to get out of the house and get a good workout, but you will probably find other moms in a similar situation as your own that would be willing to provide you will support and some well deserved adult conversation.
Just 2 or 3 hrs a week and some changes in your diet and you will find you have more energy to play with your daughter and you will greatly improve your chances of being around to see her and her kids grow up.
I do appreciate what it is to feel zero motivation. But sometimes it doesn't take much to get the motivation juices going. I think we go through long periods of worrying and doing nothing and then we reach out. Reaching out - as you've done here - can be the first trigger and sometimes it can be all the trigger you need to get things going.
The next step i think is probably something along the lines of what the guy who posted before me suggests. All you need to do is make up your mind to do one thing that involves exercise. Just try something out. Just pick up the phone or head down to the gym. Just find find a gym to go to and try one session.
Or if you don't want to do gym, what other type of activity might be interesting to you. Riding a bike? Taking up some sort of group sport. It coiuld be anything i don't know. If you don't feel ready to participate, just go along and watch.
Personally, i'd recommend a yoga class.
Or it could be as simple as what amy suggested. Just read a few of the diaries in hte weight loss diary section.
Start your own diary today. Start listing everything you eat. Don't be embarassed. Everyone here has binged. We all know what it is to eat a ton of food and feel disgusted with ourselves afterwards.
Or you could write a meal plan for tomorrow and post it in your new diary. Someone else here has jsut done something similar to that. She did it that way because she doesn't have so much time prepare food adn meal plans. But you do. I like meal plans. I usually do it just before i get down to the kitchen though or someimes when i am going shopping.
Or you could start by going through your cupboards and throwing out all the junk food you have in there.
There are many ways to get started. Once you start, you can fine tune your program as you go.
You can do it. If you still feel you are struggling with motivation after trying to rouse yourself to one of these things, then i'd suggest you go and see your doctor as you might be too depressed.
The next step i think is probably something along the lines of what the guy who posted before me suggests. All you need to do is make up your mind to do one thing that involves exercise. Just try something out. Just pick up the phone or head down to the gym. Just find find a gym to go to and try one session.
Or if you don't want to do gym, what other type of activity might be interesting to you. Riding a bike? Taking up some sort of group sport. It coiuld be anything i don't know. If you don't feel ready to participate, just go along and watch.
Personally, i'd recommend a yoga class.
Or it could be as simple as what amy suggested. Just read a few of the diaries in hte weight loss diary section.
Start your own diary today. Start listing everything you eat. Don't be embarassed. Everyone here has binged. We all know what it is to eat a ton of food and feel disgusted with ourselves afterwards.
Or you could write a meal plan for tomorrow and post it in your new diary. Someone else here has jsut done something similar to that. She did it that way because she doesn't have so much time prepare food adn meal plans. But you do. I like meal plans. I usually do it just before i get down to the kitchen though or someimes when i am going shopping.
Or you could start by going through your cupboards and throwing out all the junk food you have in there.
There are many ways to get started. Once you start, you can fine tune your program as you go.
You can do it. If you still feel you are struggling with motivation after trying to rouse yourself to one of these things, then i'd suggest you go and see your doctor as you might be too depressed.
Hello All!
Hi All,
I am a Weight Management Coach and help people suffering from overweighting. I’ve joined this Forum today and have already seen many interesting posts. The majority of them are about calories, diet and exercises. These are all great ideas, but it is still not enough for a stable results. The process should start from a ‘mind setting”, uncovering deep roots of overweighting, being open to new ideas, setting up clear goals and going for them “what ever it takes”. Many people here talk about loosing weigh fast. In my opinion - the faster you loose it, the faster you find it back. Don’t you think?
Looking forward talking to you,
Dr.Irina
Hi All,
I am a Weight Management Coach and help people suffering from overweighting. I’ve joined this Forum today and have already seen many interesting posts. The majority of them are about calories, diet and exercises. These are all great ideas, but it is still not enough for a stable results. The process should start from a ‘mind setting”, uncovering deep roots of overweighting, being open to new ideas, setting up clear goals and going for them “what ever it takes”. Many people here talk about loosing weigh fast. In my opinion - the faster you loose it, the faster you find it back. Don’t you think?
Looking forward talking to you,
Dr.Irina
You can do it!
Just start small and work up to where you want to be. Take your small changes as slow as you want - just starting is huge! As you make more progress and stick to your small healthy changes it will be easier to make more small healthy changes - when you look back over a period of time, those small changes really add up!!
You have joined a good forum for support. I think that starting a diary is a good idea - even if you don't have a good idea of what to write in it. You can look at other people's for motivation and ideas until yours takes off of it's own.
Just start small and work up to where you want to be. Take your small changes as slow as you want - just starting is huge! As you make more progress and stick to your small healthy changes it will be easier to make more small healthy changes - when you look back over a period of time, those small changes really add up!!
You have joined a good forum for support. I think that starting a diary is a good idea - even if you don't have a good idea of what to write in it. You can look at other people's for motivation and ideas until yours takes off of it's own.
Hi dlphngrl,Welcome to the forum I think you have the motivation but you need to have patience Accepting the fact that weight loss will need time and won't happen overnight is HARD TO ACCEPT but believe me the sooner you realise it the better you will be in control of yourself and be active and healthy Start from small steps like walking for 10-15 minutes...initially at home or if you are comfortable go for a stroll outside...Gradually increase your exercise say 10 minutes per week...Start a diary, followup your progress...start a food diary....make small changes, be happy with your progress,if you miss a workout or binge,start eating healthy from the very next meal or start your activity from the very next day Be easy on yourself,,,DO NOT OVERBURDEN YOURSELF WITH GUILT IF YOU MISS A WORKOUT OR BINGE EAT .I HOPE THIS HELPS IN YOUR WEIGHT LOSS
I think you have the motivation but you need to have patience Accepting the fact that weight loss will need time and won't happen overnight is HARD TO ACCEPT but believe me the sooner you realise it the better you will be in control of yourself and be active and healthy Start from small steps like walking for 10-15 minutes...initially at home or if you are comfortable go for a stroll outside...Gradually increase your exercise say 10 minutes per week...Start a diary, followup your progress...start a food diary....make small changes, be happy with your progress,if you miss a workout or binge,start eating healthy from the very next meal or start your activity from the very next day Be easy on yourself,,,DO NOT OVERBURDEN YOURSELF WITH GUILT IF YOU MISS A WORKOUT OR BINGE EAT .I HOPE THIS HELPS IN YOUR WEIGHT LOSS
patrickkallie
New member
I was the same age as you when I decided that I was finally fed up and needed to do something about my weight. You have all the motivation in the world...your daughter! Plus you have the time...so you don't have any excuses. Just start out by walking and doing simple exercises around the house.
Their is no need to want to do it all in one day. Take your time and make small changes every day that will add up over time. Start off by writing down your goals...now this may not seem like such a big deal, but it will have a great effect on your outcome and efforts.
You will also be setting a great example to your young daughter. These are habit that can last you and her a lifetime. Don't put it off one more day! Start doing something "today" that will help you work some of the weight off.
Look into the mirror and say today is a new day!
Their is no need to want to do it all in one day. Take your time and make small changes every day that will add up over time. Start off by writing down your goals...now this may not seem like such a big deal, but it will have a great effect on your outcome and efforts.
You will also be setting a great example to your young daughter. These are habit that can last you and her a lifetime. Don't put it off one more day! Start doing something "today" that will help you work some of the weight off.
Look into the mirror and say today is a new day!