*~* Heather's Diary *~*

lifesfalsities

lifesfalsities

New member
"The secret of success is having the courage to begin in the first place."

So here I am... My name is Heather, I am 21 years old and about 190 lbs (my heaviest thus far). I'm about 5'4 and a size 16 in most things or a 15/17 in juniors. About, ehh, I want to say 4 years ago I was a 7/9 juniors and was about 130-140 lbs, just to give you something to compare my weight gain too... so I packed on quite a bit of weight in my opinion, not a lot of time. I have never had any kids, my weight gain has been a result of pure laziness for lack of a better term. When I graduated H.S. in 2004 I stopped playing sports and being a four season athelete it cut out ALL of my physical activity. For a while I was able to keep of the pounds, but after I began to date my boyfriend and got comfotable with my new job (an evil desk job lol) I wasnt able to keep the weight off anymore. I would occasionally diet and exercise but I would never last longer than a week or two since I didnt have any support from family or friends. There was no one to exercise with or talk too or to push me when things got tough and therefore it was just easier to give up... save it for another day. When I saw this group online I knew that I had to join... everyone seems so nice and you guys are full of encouragement to go out there and get "the job" done. Im not looking for immediate results, but to take the pounds off slowly over the next couple months/year (I didnt put all these lbs on over night!)... I am looking to get myself down to the 130's or high 120's... I dont wanna be super skinny, just healthy for my height and age... but more than just what the scale has to tell me.... I want to feel heathly and not embarassed to go out and be me... and wear pretty things like skirts, dresses, and maybe even *deep breath* a bathing suit! lol Just looking to become a healthier me!

So I guess what I am looking for on these boards is to read those peoples stories, to see how others cope with the same things that I am sure I am going to be encountering and looking to be there for other people and other people to be there for me.... for advise, friendship, and encouragment.

Nothing left to lose except some unwanted pounds!!!

(later tonight I might see if I can take some measurements so I can see what progress I am making that the scale doesnt wanna tell me!)

I wish you all the best of luck in your own journeys towards a healthier you!

~ Heather ~
 
Update.... 4/13/07

Ok... so I admit that I haven't kicked this whole diet thing into high gear yet... but I have been making an attempt to at least start cooking for myself and not dining out for every meal! Yesterday for lunch at work I had a 6 inch Subway turkey sandwich which is LOADS better than chinese or McDonalds/Burger King and to even make it more of an effort I had diet caffine free coke (ick) lol... and last night for dinner I cooked for my boyfriend and myself. We had southwest chicken and rice... it was some sort of box dinner thing that I had picked up yesterday, once again due to lack of time. But in my defense I would once again like to say its better than my regular dinner of fast food! lol... The chicken was really great but I wasnt thrilled with the rice and therefore stayed away from it... probably a good decision anyways haha... I really wanted to go running with my golden retriever yesterday. I bought new running shoes and everything... and then it poured the entire night... go figure lol... I have had quite a bit of stress the past week or so. My boyfriend and I live in a rental property of my grandfathers and its that wonderful time that comes every two years.... INSPECTION TIME!!! The township does inspections every so often and we have been busting our butts to fix all the things that need fixing (the previous tenants DESTROYED the place.... like holes in the floors and everything haha it was terrible).... its still not quite right, but loads better than it has been.... all I can say is we will do our best... let them take a look... and go from there.... all the cleaning and moving things is good exercise anyways! Just makes for a stressful day, especially that we are now down to "crunch" time... its about 8 am and that means about 26 hours to inspection lol... its gonna be rough but I know I'll pull through and then have some free time to exercise and start a healthier lifestyle!... All this cleaning and fixing is kind of like a new beginning for me...

what doesnt break me, makes me stronger....
 
I love the quote in your opening... :)

welcome to your diary -

remember this is a lifetime change your making - so it might take a little bit for you to get into the swing of things - don't let it get you down and just keep moving forward... you will get to wehre you want to be as long as yo don't give up on yourself :)

Have yourself a fantastic friday the thirteenth :D
 
Thanks so much! I hope this time (it has to be like my 100th attempt, by now lol) is the charm. This is the first time I actually subscribed to a forum like this where I can talk with others, and I find myself being drawn to it quiet often... as a matter of fact, I have spent the ENTIRE day (today and yesterday) logged it at work and when things get slow I find myself flipping through other peoples diarys and stories! It keeps the whole weight-loss thing on my mind so I dont slip up and conviently "forget" haha...

and a happy 13th to you as well!!!!
 
Ugh... I am terrible... I need disipline big time lol... here I am days after I first "began" and I still haven't started! But I talked to my boyfriend and I think that I finally have his support, and he's going to do this with me... or so he says... like he has every other time as well lol... I am going to go over my grandfathers when I get home and clean out the sun porch.... I am tired of this icky weather and not being able to get outside and be active, and softball has been canceled because of all this rain more times that we have played... but his porch is dry AND from what I remember there is a treadmill and a stationary bike! I havent been over there in so long I'm not sure if its still there or not but its definatly worth a shot. If it was rainy and warm it wouldnt be so bad, at least the rain keeps you cool when your running, but Jersey has been FREEZING! It doesnt feel like spring at all... it makes me sad. On top of that all, its the icky gloomy weather that makes you not want to do anything, its just miserable outside. I dug out my scale and the good news is that I dont weigh as much as I had previously thought haha.. about 5 pounds less actually. That was a nice surprise. I think tonight before I do anything I need to take measurements and weigh myself again to get the final total. I need to stop making excuses for myself because I am tired or too busy.... its something that needs to be done for my health and to make myself feel better... I love the beach but am always entriely too embarassed to go... I am the girl who wears the tank top OVER the bathing suit lol... well there are 14 weeks to the end of july... it would be really nice to loose about half the weight by then which would would mean I would have to loose 2 pounds a week.... not impossible if I work REALLY REALLY hard... The way I figure it is right now I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and have maintained the same amount of weight for months now... if I watch what I eat and pay attention I think I can loose a good amount of weight in the beginning just from that alone. As a matter of fact I am at work now and its close to lunch time... I think I am going to go over to walmart and pick myself up either an organizer or basic notebook to keep a food log. May as well start now. While I am at it I am going to look into how bad tuna actually is for you? Does anyone actually know? I LOVE tuna steaks esp. the bumblebee tuna ones, easy meal in like 15 seconds and for one steak I believe its only about 150 calories. If it were up to me i would just eat tuna steaks all the time but I have been told the mercury level is really high. Anyways.... Im going to go do some work now haha...
 
Last night I took some measurments of myself so when I start to lose weight I can see the differences... for the sake of my humility haha I'll post them as a total for now.... i measured arms,thighs,waist,hips,butt and boobs and I had a combined inch total of.... dun, dun, DUN!.... 209.75... or about 17 and 1/2 feet if I think about it that way... thats quite a bit if you think about how much string it would take to wrap around me in all those places... I also did a weight update.... last night before bed I was around 185 and this morning was more like 182.... so there has been improvement just within the past few days which is enough to keep me going.

So I guess this is the part of the diary where I'm going to list what I ate yesterday... keep in mind it wasnt very much I was stressed out and didnt have much time to eat at work and really didnt feel like it by the time I got home.

Breakfast - N/A

Snack- N/A

Lunch- Albacore Tuna Steak (150 cal)
a bit of soy sauce (10 cal)
Crystal Light (5 cal)

Snack- 1 serving (15 chips) Baked Doritos (120 cal)

Dinner- Bean Burger (took two bites) (84 cal?)
Spinach Salad w/ free thousand island dressing (60 cal)
2 slices of weight watchers toast with a tid-bit of butter (150 cal)
2 Crystal Lights (10 cal)

Snack- Strawberry Charms Lollipop (70 cal)

Total for the day: 659 calories

I DEFINATLY plan on eatting closer to my 1200 cal limit today... dont want my body to think im starving or anything and keep all the extra weight! lol
 
Wow yesterday was ROUGH! I had a headache like no other I have ever had in my life and it was terrible! It was probably from lack of sugar and/or caffine... thats what I am guessing at least... its wasnt a dehydrated headache thats for sure! I made sure to down tons of water "just in case". I took medicine, and still.... nothing helped.... the only thing that took the edge off a little was when I ate dinner... then I felt a lot better... then later after dinner... the headache came back... so I ate some sugar and that pretty much held me over the rest of the night... guess I this whole cutting out sugar thing is something that I can't do "cold-turkey". Yesterday was my very first "CHALLENGE"... we took my bf to Philli to see a doctor and on the way back everyone decided that they wanted Pizza Hut.... UH OH!!! Everyone around me was eatting hot cheesy pizza and there I was munching on a stupid salad lol... but I did really well!... no bites of pizza! the only "cheating" I did was had one cinnimon stick thingie and make sure that I took the calories out of my daily total. Ok so heres what I had for the day....

Breakfast:
Breathsaver 20 cal?
1 piece of gum- 8 cal

Lunch:
Salad 40 cal
Dressing- 200 cal?
Croutons- 70 cal?
Piece of Cinnimon breadstick- 150 cal?

Dinner:
Vegetable Soup 180 cal
French fries 120 cal
Fish Fillets 260 cal
Ketchup 15 cal
Crystal Light 10 cal
4 small malted milk balls 120 cal?

Total: 1,193 calories :D

MUCH better than the previous day, if I do say so myself....

If anyone has any other ideas as to the cause for the headache or have gone through that themselves, please drop me a line... including causes, and tricks to fix it... thanks!!!
 
I'm back!!!!

Hello Everyone! I'm back! For now at least haha... Ok so here is is an update on things... I joined eDiets a while back and have been going with that off and on... according to my scale (which I think is a little off- like 5 lbs less than what it should read- which works to my benefit haha) I am 177... which is like a whole... I don't know... 10lbs-ish less than when I started back on my diet kick again... Yay! So I've been going at the whole diet thing for a week tomorrow. I've been reallllllllly good! I am so impressed with myself! I have been sticking to my 1000-1500 cal goals for all the days. I have been eating tons of tuna... cause its the one "ok" food I never get sick of. I also made my boyfriend homemade chicken and noodle soup because he had a really bad cold so we were munching on that for a day or two... and then I got sick... ewww... lol... I'm finally starting to get over it... I've had it for 3 days... I also made wheat spaghetti it was yummy... but then i realized my stomach shrank from eating smaller portions and couldn't eat much of it! haha...

anyways... I had to start writing on this board again because I did something amazing for me and I have to tell someone... I had this hankering for a bagel and cream cheese soooooo bad this morning while i was at work... I was getting soooo hungry and decided fine... I am going to get it... I walked outside and thought to myself.... am i really HUNGRY or do I just WANT the stupid bagel?... I thought about it for a while and walked back into work.... WITHOUT the bagel in hand! haha... thats a major thing for me... normally when I get cravings I'll get what I want and just eat a little of it, if I am lucky, and either feed the rest to my boyfriend or one of my dogs haha... but NOT TODAY!... I won the battle for now!

I have also been making a conscience effort to drink lots and lots of water... I haven't had my daily soda in over a week... last night I did cave in on that one though... but I bought a DIET, CAFFEINE FREE, Pepsi!!! and not my Cherry regular Pepsi with LOTS and LOTS of Sugar!... I had also been taking pictures of myself everyday... well... except last night cause my boyfriend stole the camera to take to his band practice lol... but everyday that the camera is laying around and on hand... so I can see the differences in myself... see where I am losing the weight... and to keep myself going. I have also been exercising everyday in one form or another... I have been alternating days of squats and crunches, with days of push-ups and crunches... I havent really been pushing myself at it though... I'm just getting back into the swing of things... I do squats until I "feel the burn", 100 crunches, and 2 sessions of 15 push-ups.

Anyways thats it for now... tomorrow is my weigh in for eDiets I'll let you know how that goes!

Good Luck to all and thanks for taking the time to read my rambling...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top