this is such a great thread. . . . .i used to deal with serious body-image problems when i was a kid, and actually somewhat recently as well. i was never thin as a child. to be honest, i've never been stick thin. i've been at a very healthy weight around the time i was 18, and that was like 135. i was a size 8, and i still thought of myself as somewhat overweight. i've NEVER lost the little bit of fat on my belly - never had the six pack ab thing going on.
when i was a teenager, i was really down on myself. . . .to the point that i developed what basically amounted to an eating disorder. i would drink coffee for breakfast, eat an apple, a diet soda and a slice of bread for lunch, and maybe a salad for dinner. i lost like 40 lbs in six months, but it was unhealthy. thank god i started dating someone who loved to eat, and who loved what i looked like. so we would go out to dinner all the time, and i was introduced to the joys of kraft mac and cheese, and i stopped the vicious cycle of eating disorders.
in college i dated someone who basically told me that i wasn't good enough looking for him. . . . . .why i stayed with him is beyond me, and probably shows something about how i still felt down on myself even then. he basically told me on a near-constant basis that i shoudl be thinner. it didn't stop me from partying, drinking, eating out and smoking, so obviously it didn't cause another eating disorder, but it definitely affected how i see myself.
sadly enough, a lot of my self-perception has been a result of the men i have been with. right now i am with a man who absolutely loves every single part of me - whether i'm fat or thin. he was intensely attracted to me in high school when i was a twig, and he still is now. . . . .50 lbs later. he makes me feel like i'm a supermodel. and thusly, my self-image has gone way up.
i still don't feel like i'm thin, but i feel that despite the fact that i'm not thin, i can still be pretty. and that's a wonderful feeling. i'm just sad that it took me nearly 25 years to realize it. but for some people, it is never realized. . . . .my mom is nearly 59, is absolutely beautiful for her age (at least i think so) and she still thinks that she is fat and 'ugly'. it breaks my heart to hear her say it, because she absolutely is neither of those things, and it affects what she does in life. she doesn't want to go to a new church (religion is a big part of her life) until she loses weight. . . . .she doesn't want to start to date until she loses weight. . . . .it's awful. it's like she thinks of herself as less of a person if she's not a rail. she's NOT fat, either. she's probably 5'3 and 140. not fat by ANY stretch of the imagination.
i think that all women should be made to feel that they are simply stunning. even if you don't think it at the time, someone should be there to make you feel so. and if someone isn't there. . . . . .give yourself a primping day. allow yourself to feel beautiful. because we all are!!!! we ALL are. overweight, underweight, tall, short. . . .whatever you are, you are still a woman. . . . .a complex, caring, loving being who is stunning in every way imaginable.
the post regarding the postive thinking about yourself is absolutely wonderful. i actually showed it to my mom because i'm worried about the way she sees herself. . . .in the hopes that it will help her a little bit. she's just so pretty. . . . .and i don't think that she'll ever realize it.
and that is the true tragedy of a low self-image.
