Have you became shallow/judgemental..?

[Tinet]

I'm afraid and I restrain to say it most the time but the only inconvenience I found in my new fitness & health life is that I've become quite shallow. I tend to judge people who don't care about health (smokers, fast food fans, fat persons..). I don't do it in their face but I always have this thought hiding underneath.. I also tell it to my boyfriend; who is also judgemental about unhealthy/fat people.

I often have the thought that I could NEVER ever date someone who's not interested about health (exercise & food). I don't think it'd work out anymore with my man if he gave up completely on this either. He's not so much into healthy food and that tends to tickle me alot; I wouldn't want him to get fat beacause it's unhealthy, hence I get angry when he eats bad. Which is often.

I tend to look at people like piece of art. Which I think is kinda sad, but it happens. Can't help it.

I sure know I'm not the only one that's like this so I'd like to read some of your imputs.

 

[CrazyOldMan]

We all judge based on ourselves, going beyond this takes discipline and is un-natural, but socially required.
A social drinker would class me as very boring for being teetotal, and less worthy because of this. This is no different to what you are doing and of course equally as narrow.
If anyone declares they don't do so they are lying, it is part of our nature to judge from appearance and without this our species wouldn't have survived this long. When considering potential partners we look to find similarities to ourselves and that makes sense. One blob of a woman my wife worked with declared that she liked the look of fit people but would never date one as they would have nothing in common. I don't like picture perfect grooming because to me getting invovled which leaves a bit of a mess is more fun so someone with perfect hair, nails and make up at the end of a workout or night out is either uncommited or boring.

You want a compatible partner and also have put a lot of time and effort into your health so want someone equally as commited to it.

Answering your question yes I am shallow and judgemental in many ways, and very elitist. I don't care what race, gender etc. a person is are but their intelligence, desire to learn, discipline, commitment etc. are all judged harshly by me. As you can imagine finding someone who not only measured up but was willing to put up with me long term was not easy. When I did I knew how lucky I was.

 

[Goldfish]

Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question?

I've always had both deep and superficial standards which I measure people against. Those standards have changed drastically over the years, but there's always a combination of deep and superficial standards there. Now, I'd say I hold people more to deeper standards than superficial standards, but if I denied any acknowledgement of superficial standards, as Oldie rightly said, I'd be lying.

I'm going to point out that a lot of what you're talking about here, OP, is actually getting to a deeper level. It's not just: "You're not hot enough for me;" it's taking into account the person's values, knowledge, willingness to learn, discipline, interests and lifestyle. Guess what? If you don't share values with someone, it probably ain't gonna work, and persevering in a relationship with them even if done peacefully may not feel as fulfilling because the things in life that are important to you and that you love are unimportant to them. This generally isn't as big an issue with friends, and even less so with casual acquaintances, but in a relationship where the two become one, it's kind of a big deal.