Happy Cdn Guys Diary

[Happy Cdn Guy]

Whats up people. Just thought I would start a diary in here. I firgure its a good way to express myself because you guys really dont know me and will not judge me.

Anyways my weight loss journey started in 2006, at my heaviest I was 295 pds. I leveled off at 220. If I remember it took me close to a year to lose the weight. I did it by eating better and and exercising. My goal was always 200 but people kept telling me how good I looked so I took a break.

Last Sept. I stepped on the scale and was back up to 250. So I started back at it. I am now down to 217 and getting closer to my goal of 200.

Enough about me. I want to tell you about my wife. She is over weight and has tried to diet and excercise but hasnt had any success. I think her problem is that 1)she will not give up sweets and regualr pop (soda for my american friends). She has said in the past she will never give up pop and sweets. 2)she doesnt realize how big she has gotten.

Its hurts me to see her like this because she cries everytime we go shopping and she needs to go to a bigger size. Also I know how good it feels to try something on and its to big and you go get a smaller size. I want her to feel that. I have tried to talk to her but she gets really defensive and she gets upset at me. Her dad gives her a hard time about her weight and she says she doesnt need that from her hubby, which I can see her point.

ANy suggestions would be great!

 

[cherrygarcia]

wow, i just read your story, first wanted to say congrats on the weightloss!

as for the next part, in regards to your wife, my heart really does go out to you with that situation. i think it's definitely tricky when it's a loved one who you can see is being affected by the weight but you can't seem to do anything about it. i myself have been obese all my life and have been miserable about it. i love my mother to bits but she was my no.1 enemy when it came to the topic of weight loss. we'd talk about anything and everything under the sun but if she so much as mentioned my weight i'd get PISSED and just walk off. it was bad really bad. but early this year something just changed and i decided to open up to her and the rest of my family for the first time and tell them all my insecurities about my weight loss and what i'd gone through all these years. ....it felt so good to offload the emotional baggage, and i was overwhelmed by the support my family gave me. at that point thats when i knew i had to change and started eating healthy and a few weeks later started exercising.

maybe you could perhaps start by giving her the link to the forum website so that she can start taking a look on her own. i think for women, weight loss definitely starts in the mind, accepting that there's a problem and then trying to deal with it, and thereafter comes the physical part, the actual eating healthy/exercising.

for me this site has been very supportive and motivational....i can only hope it'll be the same for her.

when it comes to exercising, i don't know but from what you said it seems like she may not want to join a gym.....Lord knows i'd vowed i'd never step in a gym, but for me when things clicked i was like the hell with it, i'm doing this for ME ME ME. and to date i'm still the BIGGEST person in my gym and guess what? i don't give a hoot about it. i go in, do my thing and leave knowing i've left a healthier person.

maybe you could start taking walks with her outside? or if at all she'd agree to join a gym, let her know that you'd be there with her every step of the way doing your workouts together. alternatively, i think these days there's women only gyms as well so you can try scouting out gyms in your local as well so that if she's ever ready to go to one, you'll have all the info handy.

again i say I KNOW it's a tough situation your in because if anyone had tried talking to me about my weight just a few months ago it would really get to me, but all that's changed now.

maybe just start by giving her the forum link and HOPE that she takes a peek. i think it would help with starting to change her mindset which would be the start of things.

again i say sorry for ranting on and on, i guess i just kinda felt i identified with the situation....i really hope things work out with her. take care and all the best xoxo

 

[Happy Cdn Guy]

Thanks for the reply Cherry.

She had a break down this weekend. We had a family event and she could not find anything that fit her. She broke down and was crying etc. But the thing that kills me is the next day at the event she there drinking regular coke, chips etc. I did ask her if she wanted to split a piece of cake which she did. I am hoping that was her "free" day. I give myself sundays as a free day so hopefully she did too.

Myself I am down to 215!!!

 

[baglady2713]

you sound like a wonderfully caring hubby!! & i know you only have your wifes best interests & feelings at heart but like with most other addictions...smoking/drinking etc you have to wait till that person is really ready to make the changes themselves...usually they have to hit their own rock bottom...or have a series of them like i did!! i have a few in my head that gave me the incentive & will to lose the weight (like waking up with a totally 'dead' arm one morning from sleeping on it LOL) but even knowing that & wanting to lose the rest of my weight gain its still bloody hard at times!!

just carry on doing what you're doing...being there for her...& who knows when she sees you getting all slinky...that may be all the incentive she needs to lose the weight herself!!

 

[Superfox]

Kudos to you for wanting to become a healthier person and being a loving, caring husband!

I can somewhat relate to what she is going through but I could be wrong since I’m not her. I've been that person. I have a love for clothes but anytime it came to trying things on, I would get immensely upset afterwards. Everything I wanted to wear didn’t look right or didn’t fit. Even with my desire to be able to wear clothes from certain stores or getting into a bikini, something was always holding me back.

From my teens and onward, my family especially my mother, always made harsh comments because I was never that petite “skinny” girl. Comments like “you would be so much prettier if you were skinny” or relatives giving me fat nicknames and so on. That truly left me with scars to this day. Then I got in a 3 yr relationship and gained even more weight. Getting “too comfortable” literally makes you blind. I knew I had gained weight but didn’t realize it was to the point where it could affect my health. He never said I was fat. He would ask me to go to the gym or take walks but I never agreed. He let me eat anything I wanted. When I asked him if he thought I was fat. He said no, you’re my chunky monkey. Apparently being chunky is smaller than being fat. In the end, I wish my Family & Ex had been more supportive and positive.

For the longest time all I did was hide behind my weight. I was also defensive. Being defensive is a coping mechanism to hide from the truth. I’d pity myself, become negative and not a good person to be around. I almost think my mind set was set on rebelling against what society & my family wanted me to be. If I lost weight, it would be like them winning or saying I told you so. (pride) I only wish people would understand that words can do damage. There is always a positive way to get your thoughts across. I know they cared for my well being but did not approach it in the right manner. If you enlighten your wife and share your thoughts in an honest yet positive outlook, it may impact her in the right way. Don't make it sound like you are nagging. You guys are husband & wife, out of respect for each other, she should be open for any discussions. You both need to support each other.

In the end though, you can only do so much for a person. They have to take it upon themselves to want to change their outlook. It starts with the inside. Through everything, I realized I need to change for myself, not for anyone else! You have to love yourself for whom you are and forgive yourself. Then everything else will fall into place. Stay positive and strong! I wish you and your wife the best of luck!!

 

[Happy Cdn Guy]

Thanks for the replies everyone!!!

She seems to be starting to eat and better and be more active...hopefully this trend will continue. I will just do what I do and try to be supportive and lead by example.

 

[Happy Cdn Guy]

Hi all...wow its been a while seen this started.

Well I am still working out daily and trying to eat healthy.

I am at 205 (from 295). My goal has always been 200 so I am close.

My wife and I are having another baby so I dont bug/pressure her about her eating habits or inactive lifestyle. She says that after the baby comes she wants to join a gym and eat better. Hopefully she will follow through with this!