Happy and Healthy

ALRIIIIIGHT!!! :party: Way to go missy! Never regret, instead, take away what you need to know and do better the next opportunity you get! :)

I try to live by that. It keeps me from going insane with food guilt and regret.

:D

You did good. :)

<3
 
Hung out with the boyfriend tonight :blush5: *got a little exercise in* Food is probably not the best today, but I am at my parents house this weekend and they dont really have a lot to choose from, and my meals arent very defined. But I woke up a little later than normal and went to bed a lot later.
 
So I weighed myself this morning on my parents scale it said 166, but Im sure tommorow when I weigh in on my own scale it will be around 168 if Im lucky. But for right now Im gunna pretend that I am actually 166 :p

I didnt eat very much today but I did eat out at Taco Bell so...Im sure it balanced out lol. I had to go back to school tonight (which is like 1 hour and 20 minutes drive) and I worked on my Organic Chem Homework for like 2 hours..teaches me for procrastinating a 2 week long lab write up. :banghead: I have lab tommorow, so i had to be prepared.

I didn't go to my classes on Friday which was my business class and my chem class so lets hope *crosses fingers* that I didnt miss anything monumental.

Today Ive Had:
Breakfast:
2 pieces of toast w/peanut butter 2G,1P
1 Glass Orange Juice 1F
Snack:
Wheat Crackers w/peanut butter 1G, 1P
Lunch:
1 Chicken Quesidilla 1G,1P,1F,1O
1 Nacho Supreme 1G,1P,1D,1/2 V
1 Medium Baja Mountain Dew (OK--so this is not a diet soda, but this is the only place that has the "Blue Mountain Dew" and I am quite the sucker for it--so I get it once in a while when I go there) 1O
Dinner:
1 South Beach Granola Bar (peanut butter flavor, whos surprised...) 1G,1P, 1/2F
2 Diet Pepsi Max's
Total: 6 Grain, 1 Fruit, 5 Protein, 1 Dairy, 1-1/2 Fat, 1/2 Vegetable, 2 Other
 
I didnt get to eat lunch til like 3:00 today so I just had dinner at like 8...I hate eating late! I have a headache too---lame

today Ive had:
Breakfast
1 bowl of fiber one w/soymilk 2G 1D
1 Granola Bar 1G 1P
Lunch
Ramen 2G 1F
1 Cottage Cheese 1D
1 fruit cup 1F
1 yogurt 1D
Dinner
1 Blueberry Bagel w/cream cheese: 2G 1D 1F .5F
Pringles: 1F 1O
1 white nectarine 1F
Crackers and Peanut Butter: 1G, 1 P
Totals: 8 Grain, 4 Dairy, 2 Protein, 3 Fat, 2-1/2 Fruit, 1 Other
 
OKAY--so i weighed myself on my own scale this morning 169--I think I am going insane! :toetap05: I think I may have to go back to cal counting, even though the food group thing is working nicely. I just need to get past 165!

Today:
Breakfast:
1 Bagel w/peanut Butter: 370 (2G, 1P)
1 Lemon Water: 0
Snack:
1 South Beach Granola Bar (Peanut Butter) 140 (1G,1P)
1 pack of Raisins: 130 (1F)
Lunch:
1/2 pack of brown rice: 240 (1G)
Baked Beans: 140 (1P)
1 White Nectarine: 80 (1F)
2 small pack of DOTS: 140 (1O)
1 Diet Pepsi Max: 0
Total: around 1220
 
Now don't get all obsessed! That's how bad things start.

:D Hope your life is going well!!

<3 Annie
 
I can totally relate to the whole texting a boy who is in love with you when you're drunk. This guy I used to work with was totally in love with me for awhile, and I had no idea. I just thought we were really good friends. I ended up having a slight crush on him too, but mostly bc I think I liked the attention. I would text him all the time especially when I was drinking. I even broke up with my bf once bc things were just getting really confusing. Anyway, I got back with my bf and the other guy got really mad and pretty much quit talking to me. It sucks bc I always just thought we were good friends.

I also wanted to say that I LOVE the SBD Peanut Butter granola bars. I was obsessed with them for awhile!!

:)
 
gymchica said:
I can totally relate to the whole texting a boy who is in love with you when you're drunk. This guy I used to work with was totally in love with me for awhile, and I had no idea. I just thought we were really good friends. I ended up having a slight crush on him too, but mostly bc I think I liked the attention. I would text him all the time especially when I was drinking. I even broke up with my bf once bc things were just getting really confusing. Anyway, I got back with my bf and the other guy got really mad and pretty much quit talking to me. It sucks bc I always just thought we were good friends.

I also wanted to say that I LOVE the SBD Peanut Butter granola bars. I was obsessed with them for awhile!!

:)
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Im glad to know im not the only one out there who has been through this crap lol. I was definetely very drunk again last night, and I still texted him. He knows me and my boyfriend are having issues right now and I think hes hoping if I break up with my bf that Im gunna crawl into his arms. But if me and bf break up I dont want to step into any serious relationships for a while. I just kind of want to get out and play the field. I just hope im not leading the other guy on...:willy_nilly:
 
::Confused::

This week has been pretty well...blah..if I can put that right. Theres been a lot of stupid drama going on with my friends that I usually get put in the middle of, and not to mention I have straying feelings for my Boyfriend (of 5 years) and I dont klnow how to handle it.

I know that it would probably be best if we took a break from eachother to experience other things and other people. But its so scary, because hes practially my best friend. Ive known him since I was 12... and hes been a huge part of my life.

I just feel selfish thinking these things, and I also feel guilty about drinking and texting random guys who I feel care more about me than my own boyfriend does.

Hes really not a bad guy at all. Because I wouldnt have been with him for so long if he was. But we have definetley had issues in the past..but blah I dunno. I am so confused. Hes very busy with work and school, and I am at school about an hour and a half away so we maybe talk for like 15 minutes a day. Which has just become a monotenous rundown on our days.

I havent relapsed into my bulimia or anything, But I have been using other methods to cope with my pain which I know won't be good for my psychiatrist to hear. Ive been hurting myself, which I never really used to do. But atm its the only thing that gives me the same stress relief that purging did.

I didnt go to my Dietitian appointment this week. But I am going next week. So you win some you lose some...

I drank last night, drinks that resembled windex lol--Blue raspberry Mixer with diet sprite and, raspberry vodka. Wasnt bad..but definely feel it this morning.

My food is lacking but today ive had:
1 bowl of fiber one w/soymilk
1 banana
1 bagel w/cream cheese and jelly
1 Diet Pepsi Max
1/2 Subway Sandwich (turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomatoe, onion, cucumber, honey mustard and mayo)
1 small bag of dill pickle chips
1 Diet Coke
 
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Food Today:
1 bowl of fiber one
1 banana
2 eggies in a basket
peanut butter crackers
Granola Bar
1/2 iced chai tea
1 bagel w/reduced fat cream cheese and strawberry jelly
1 yogurt
 
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Mad4Chillas said:
I havent relapsed into my bulimia or anything, But I have been using other methods to cope with my pain which I know won't be good for my psychiatrist to hear. Ive been hurting myself, which I never really used to do. But atm its the only thing that gives me the same stress relief that purging did.
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Honestly, I can sympathize with you on the self mutilation, I used to do it whenever I felt depressed. :( I did it for years, and it really didn't help manage stress at all, but it was all I knew how to do. I still have scars on my arm because of it. I got so tired of having to wear long sleeved shirts all the time and wearing double layers in gym. I ended up attempting suicide, which landed me in the hospital, where my psychiatrist helped me work through the issues that I had with my coping strategies, and I have not cut in ~3-4 years. I still have issues using x-acto knives and razor blades.

You really just have to get together with your psychiatrist and ask to work with coping strategies for stress. He/she may prompt you to make a Survival list (or he/she may call it something different) where you write down all the alternatives you can think of to hurting yourself, and you post it in a place you see regularly and where you have an urge to hurt yourself. Be careful in your choices of when you cut, if you (heaven forbid) continue, because I know, from experience, that it can be very addictive.

:grouphug:You can beat this, love! If I can, you can. Just try to do EVERYTHING your psychiatrist tells you to do, no matter how stupid it may make you feel. You have to TRUST his/her expertise. That really is the only way to go about beating this. I know you'll be fine, in the end, and I hope you take my advice as I've been down that road, and once you get hooked on that feeling, it's a LONG hard road to get back.

:)

Just know, everyone here loves you dearly. :) If you ever need to talk, you know that I'm ready and willing to listen and see if I can help with your problems:bigear:

PS your picture is TOO cute! :)

<3 Annie
 
Lilyofthevalley said:
Honestly, I can sympathize with you on the self mutilation, I used to do it whenever I felt depressed. :( I did it for years, and it really didn't help manage stress at all, but it was all I knew how to do. I still have scars on my arm because of it. I got so tired of having to wear long sleeved shirts all the time and wearing double layers in gym. I ended up attempting suicide, which landed me in the hospital, where my psychiatrist helped me work through the issues that I had with my coping strategies, and I have not cut in ~3-4 years. I still have issues using x-acto knives and razor blades.

You really just have to get together with your psychiatrist and ask to work with coping strategies for stress. He/she may prompt you to make a Survival list (or he/she may call it something different) where you write down all the alternatives you can think of to hurting yourself, and you post it in a place you see regularly and where you have an urge to hurt yourself. Be careful in your choices of when you cut, if you (heaven forbid) continue, because I know, from experience, that it can be very addictive.

:grouphug:You can beat this, love! If I can, you can. Just try to do EVERYTHING your psychiatrist tells you to do, no matter how stupid it may make you feel. You have to TRUST his/her expertise. That really is the only way to go about beating this. I know you'll be fine, in the end, and I hope you take my advice as I've been down that road, and once you get hooked on that feeling, it's a LONG hard road to get back.

:)

Just know, everyone here loves you dearly. :) If you ever need to talk, you know that I'm ready and willing to listen and see if I can help with your problems:bigear:

PS your picture is TOO cute! :)

<3 Annie
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Thanks Annie for the helpful and thoughtful words--it is very much appreciated. When I was younger, before I developed my ED I used to cut myself when I was like 14/15 but nothing ever serious. The other night I was just feeling so overwhelmed about the relationship with my bf and stress of over stuff I just didnt know what to do. I havent done it in a couple of days, so im hanging in there. But I am going to call my psychologist and my psychiatrist just to touch base with them soon...


Otherwise---I have an appointment with my dietitian tommorow. I am down 11 pounds since 3 weeks ago. I got a new scale that tells my body fat and everything else I need to know lol, and I am liking it much better than my old one.

Also, I have been playing with going to Greece this summer for a change of pace so I applied for a 4 week study abroad program a few days ago. I am excited :)

hmmm, otherwise nothing super new

Today i have had:
1 bowl of fiber one w/1 banana and 1/2 cup soymilk
1 blueberry bagel w/reduced fat cream cheese and jelly
1 klondike bar :piggy:
2 small packets of dots
peanut butter crackers
Spaghetti
 
Mad4Chillas said:
Thanks Annie for the helpful and thoughtful words--it is very much appreciated. When I was younger, before I developed my ED I used to cut myself when I was like 14/15 but nothing ever serious. The other night I was just feeling so overwhelmed about the relationship with my bf and stress of over stuff I just didnt know what to do. I havent done it in a couple of days, so im hanging in there. But I am going to call my psychologist and my psychiatrist just to touch base with them soon...
Click to expand...

Glad to hear you're hanging in there. Make a point to get in touch with them, it really will help.
:)
:bigear:I'm here for you girl.

:) Great news about the loss.

<3 Annie
 
check in time!

So it has been quite a while! Things have been pretty normal, less stressful so no self sabatoge or anything. I have worked things out with my boyfriend which is also quite comforting. Meals have been pretty normal, although i am having a little pms so i have an insatiable apetite. Ive also shifted some more weight *yay*

So has anyone been playing the Mcdonalds monopoly?? Lol my sister told me about it when it started and I have to say I quite a sucker for contests.

I have also applied for a trip to Greece this summer for 4 weeks to study in athens...so that should be fun! I hope i get accepted :)
 
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Mad4Chillas said:
So it has been quite a while! Things have been pretty normal, less stressful so no self sabatoge or anything. I have worked things out with my boyfriend which is also quite comforting. Meals have been pretty normal, although i am having a little pms so i have an insatiable apetite. Ive also shifted some more weight *yay*

So has anyone been playing the Mcdonalds monopoly?? Lol my sister told me about it when it started and I have to say I quite a sucker for contests.

I have also applied for a trip to Greece this summer for 4 weeks to study in athens...so that should be fun! I hope i get accepted :)
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Yay for you and your boyfriend! :hurray::hurray: Hurrah for your loss!!!
I've won a medium fry, and I've gotten a couple more properties. I have one utility, I forget which one. :p

:D I forgot what I was talking about!

Edit: I read it and remembered. Good luck with that application!! I hope you get chosen!!

Well, glad to hear an update!
:)
 
:( you disappeared!!

I hope things are going alright for you...

Hope you post again soon... I miss seeing your updates!

:angelsad2:

<3 Annie
 
Lilyofthevalley said:
:( you disappeared!!

I hope things are going alright for you...

Hope you post again soon... I miss seeing your updates!

:angelsad2:

<3 Annie
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Hey Annie!

Yes I am still around, Ive lost a bit of my steam and have had to concentrate on school and work and junk like that so updating was just kind of lost. Ive been bouncing up and down with my weight again but whats new...Ive also been *trying* to watch what I eat and drink but its that time of year where I lose some motivation. So its time for me to get back on here and update more often.

Things have been pretty good, I relapsed slightly...but Im fine now. I haven't thought about it since it happened a few weeks ago. Also no more cutting, which is a relief. I just need to get back into my yoga-relaxation healing mode again. So I dont have to deal with things like this. I will start my food diarys and weigh ins once again, starting tommorow :coolgleamA:

But thanks for caring Annie! It means a lot to me!
 
Mad4Chillas said:
I will start my food diarys and weigh ins once again, starting tommorow :coolgleamA:

But thanks for caring Annie! It means a lot to me!
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:D Sorry I've been away, things have gotten kind of hectic around here, but they'll cool off as soon as I get all my school work done (I have like 20 journal entries to do... :p)
I'm so stressed!
:willy_nilly:

Oh well, what else is new?

I see you updated the 16th, but then... poof. :(
:)
You've GOT to keep going! You're too far down the rabbit hole to stop now! :(
<3 Annie
 
So i havent weighed myself in a little while. But I dont think my eating has been too terrible. There have been a couple of friends birthdays so i have indulged slightly, but what can i say im human :)

So Friday I had:
1 Granola Bar: 140
1 huge mug of coffee w/sugar free creamer, and fake sugar, and soymilk: 50
Lunch (eaten in the car):
1 Chicken Sandwich: 440
1 Diet Coke: 0
1 French Fry: 430
snack
1/2 cup vanilla bean ice cream: 140
Dinner (out with the bf)
1-1/2 pepperoni pizza bread appetizer thing: 300
4 small squares of BBQ chicken Pizza: 450
Diet Coke: 0
Total: 1,950

Saturday:
1 sausage, egg, cheese croissant:470
small tator tots: 250
1 medium iced mocha: 360
snack:
1 bag of gummi worms: 350
Dinner:
1 cinnamon raisin bagel: 250
2 tbsp reduced fat peanut butter: 190

Total: 1,870

Today so far...
Breakfast:
1 cinnamon raisin bagel: 250
2 tbsp reduced fat peanut butter: 190
Lunch:
1 Marie Callenders Dinner: 500
1 piece of multigrain toast: 150
total: 1,090

Sooo not the best, but it was the weekend and it was pretty stressful. I had to take my chillas to the vet early saturday morning because I thought they were sick, but turns out they were both alright :) so then my cars heater decided it no longer wanted to work so now that Im home for the weekend I have to get driven back to school for 2 days, and then get a ride home for Thanksgiving break. What a bummer! It has totally put a damper on my weekend. Plus the bf worked all day saturday and no car...so I just was a bum and stayed home in my jammies. But hopefully next week, including Thanksgiving won't be so crazy or calorie infested!
 
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