Half of Me:The Story of Fat Girl Slim

Bigguy said:
Cant shoot you sweetie- there are laws against that. I can get a cntract drawn up that you ca nsign saying it is ok though. Will take a bit though. and effort- cant forget the effort that will take.....
bah- screw it- not goingto shoot you.
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*exaggerated sigh* Fine. I'll do it.

I mean, hey ya'll! :waving:
 
Bigguy said:
im good
had a bad yesterday as you know- i think- but all should be good there.
going to the ultrasound in a bit.
Work is still crazy but that is par for the course

how are you doing?
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Good luck with the ultrasound - I hope everything comes out alright.

I am hopelessly insane. Wprks sucks - I wanna be a garbageman I think...

great aboout seeing the friend- hope it all is good.
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Haven't seem them in next to forever, once they get here, all will be good, I'm looking forward to it :)
 
*Ali walks up to the door of her thread, brushes the cobwebs away, and slowly opens the door*

*creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak*

Wow, sure is messy in here, I gotta stay on top of this thing better...

So I had the week from hell coming off of vacation and next week is not slated to get any better. I received a notice for jury duty a few weeks ago, the way it works in NJ is that you have to call the night before your week starts to see if you have to report. I have had jury duty two other times and have only had to report one day out of the 14 I was 'on call' so to speak.

I call and the message says, all jurors who have a number of 0001 up to and includng 0179 have to report Monday at 1pm...my number?

0059

CRAP

My boss is already less than impressed with me right now and the fact that I now have to waste 1/2 of a work day, that I cannot afford to miss, sitting on my duff at the county courthouse is just not doing anything to raise her feelings about me...

Weight loss wise, this has been a tough weekend for me but I am just going to get back on track on Monday and hopefully bust out some kick-ass work ths week.

Other than that, nothing really new to report - just plugging along, trying to get by...
 
I am not in a good place right now with this.

Work has been hellish beyond measure. I am so busy and haven't had time to work out or cook or eat meals or anything. I am off track in every way possible and I have no clue how to get back on track.

Its just a phase, I know this but it still sucks. I am sick of being this weight. I am sick of not being where I want to be. I am sick that I can't stay on track when things get hard.

Another month wasted.
 
Hey! It's NOT wasted... look at you past progress... remotivate yourself, it's not worth taking more steps backwards now!

You can do it!
 
ali said:
I am not in a good place right now with this.

Work has been hellish beyond measure. I am so busy and haven't had time to work out or cook or eat meals or anything. I am off track in every way possible and I have no clue how to get back on track.

Its just a phase, I know this but it still sucks. I am sick of being this weight. I am sick of not being where I want to be. I am sick that I can't stay on track when things get hard.

Another month wasted.
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Sweetie as I have told you over and over again- you have not messed up. You needed to re shift your priorities a bit. No big deal. There is no reason you need to figure out how to get back on track- get back on track. It really is that easy. Go back to the gym, start eating better and rededicate yourself.
I know I am making sound easier than it is but you are making it harder than it actually is.
You will get out of this Ali. I have faith in you and truly believe that you will. :D
 
Bigguy said:
Sweetie as I have told you over and over again- you have not messed up. You needed to re shift your priorities a bit. No big deal. There is no reason you need to figure out how to get back on track- get back on track. It really is that easy. Go back to the gym, start eating better and rededicate yourself.
I know I am making sound easier than it is but you are making it harder than it actually is.
You will get out of this Ali. I have faith in you and truly believe that you will. :D
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This is why I like you so much :) You're not afraid to call it like it is. Thank you so much - you don't know what this means to me.

I weighed myself this morning, it wasn't as bad as I feared - 184.

I can handle that :)

Hey! It's NOT wasted... look at you past progress... remotivate yourself, it's not worth taking more steps backwards now!

You can do it!
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Thanks Anke - you're right, I can and I will :)
 
Hey guys! you all are SUCH a motivation to me! reading threw your posts while i workout helps alot- Like i'm doing now!- i struggled with weight so so much! im only 15 but by the age of 13 i was 230 pounds! i have pictures from my birthday then, i dont look happy, or healthy!
 
Not a wasted month. Sure you feel overwhelmed now. That's because you are overwhelmed. Work is taking over and the demands of your family are still there, never ending. You need a break, but the vacation you just finished left you with a week's worth of work to catch up on, so no real net gain.

I was listening to a debate on European soccer league and the idea of getting rid of the tie score. Ending a tie with a shoot out to determine a winner. On the one hand you have a decisive victory, but on the other hand a tie can be a victory in itself. A team that is losing 1-0 comes back to tie it up. They snatched defeat from the opponents and walked away with a tie. Success. Not winning does not mean losing. So everything is against you, but you still persevere. That's not a waste. That is a success. You, Ali, are a success.
 
Trops said:
Not a wasted month. Sure you feel overwhelmed now. That's because you are overwhelmed. Work is taking over and the demands of your family are still there, never ending. You need a break, but the vacation you just finished left you with a week's worth of work to catch up on, so no real net gain.
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Thank you for recognizing this - I feel sometimes like no one does.

Trops said:
I was listening to a debate on European soccer league and the idea of getting rid of the tie score. Ending a tie with a shoot out to determine a winner. On the one hand you have a decisive victory, but on the other hand a tie can be a victory in itself. A team that is losing 1-0 comes back to tie it up. They snatched defeat from the opponents and walked away with a tie. Success. Not winning does not mean losing. So everything is against you, but you still persevere. That's not a waste. That is a success. You, Ali, are a success.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sometimes it is so easy to lose perspective. With the month I have had the 'old me' would have packed it in and eaten whatever...I think I will come out of the month no worse off than when I started it and in the scheme of things, that is a victory in and of itself.

Thanks for pointing that out - it is so easy to lose sight of that sometimes.

_______________________

I went back to the gym today for what may have been the first time in two weeks. I have started to try to run again at a friend's suggestion and cranked out 2.6 miles in 30 minutes. The breathing continues to be a very big issue for me, some times are worse than others, but today was especially bad - I swear that my throat had close to 1/2 its normal size. Physically I felt good, like I could have gone longer if I. Could. Just. Breathe.

I guess it is something to work on, although to be honest I am really not sure where to start. What I have read online suggests to take measured breaths, etc, to do it to a certain pace of something to that effect. None of this works for me, once I get going, my breathing gets shallow and that's it - the rest of the run is me sucking wind.

Those who know me know I do not like being beat and am somewhat stubborn :) This irks the hell out of me so I will keep working at it although I am not sure how I am supposed to improve if I can't breathe :)

In other news...my boss reviewed my appellate brief and told me it was 'good'. This is a lot for her and great for me since it was my first one. She only made typographical changes. It should be filed on Monday.

Now that does nothing to alleviate my workload but it is a huge weight off my mind b/c if she had scrapped one of my legal arguments I would still be doing the rewrite as we speak.

We had a yard sale on Saturday - very last minute - got rid of some junk and made $50. Bonus was that I got rid of the last of my clothes - another six bags :) Found a few things that I could wear now which was nice.

There. Over, done with gone. There is no going back :)

Not that there was, but think of this as insurance...
 
Ali, running? Good for you. I hate running, but I recognize it as being so helpful to me in losing weight and gaining endurance. The breathing thing will come. Don't worry about that. I think that when you first start you are thinking that your legs are doing all the work, but it is a whole body thing. Whole body includes lungs. You lungs have to catch up to the strength that you have in your legs. Don't worry, that will come, and then you will be able to make greater improvements.
 
Trops said:
Ali, running? Good for you. I hate running, but I recognize it as being so helpful to me in losing weight and gaining endurance. The breathing thing will come. Don't worry about that. I think that when you first start you are thinking that your legs are doing all the work, but it is a whole body thing. Whole body includes lungs. You lungs have to catch up to the strength that you have in your legs. Don't worry, that will come, and then you will be able to make greater improvements.
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God I hope so :) My body is able, my lungs apprently have a different agenda.

I hate it for the simple fact that I feel like I'm suffocating. I know it will improve and that when I started on the elliptical I wanted to die and that passed, it is just hard to remember when you are in the throes of it. I am hoping that changing up the cardio will give me some sort of a jump start if you will.

I know I am better than I used to be at this weight, when I was in HS I was the kid who walked the mile. If you told me then that I would be running over two I would have laughed in your face :)
 
The breathing continues to be a very big issue for me, some times are worse than others, but today was especially bad - I swear that my throat had close to 1/2 its normal size. Physically I felt good, like I could have gone longer if I. Could. Just. Breathe.
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It will get easier the more you do it. 2.6 miles is awesome! Im very proud of you Ali girl. Keep going sweetheart.
 
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