Half of Me:The Story of Fat Girl Slim

Phew - what a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng day yesterday...I spent the entire day in court during which I ate probably no more than 250 calories the entire day. Then I had to go to a meeting at night where the only thing I was able to have was a glass of wine.

Get home and there is pizza and wings and mozzarella sticks...not exactly diet fare. BUT, I was able to eat one slice, one stick and only three wings, given the lack of food I had in the day, I think I am safe.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, went to the gym and struggled to stay awake on the elliptical...not a fun feeling. Somehow, I left feeling like I managed to accomplish something...I am taking whatever little bits of sunshine I can get at this point...

I find that I am disliking the deflating parts of myself more and more as time goes on, which may be the best thing that has happened to me. I think that by being so bothered by how I look, I won't want to go back to it. It will be interesting to see how that progresses...it's a weird feeling, I love the changes I am seeing but hate the parts of me that haven't gotten the memo yet that I don't want to be fat anymore.

Now I get to spend my day recovering from yesterday...I think my theme song for today will be a quote from Meatloaf ~

Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?

See what stress does to you??? :)
 
:cheers2:
ali.smedley said:
Phew - what a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng day yesterday...I spent the entire day in court during which I ate probably no more than 250 calories the entire day. Then I had to go to a meeting at night where the only thing I was able to have was a glass of wine.

Get home and there is pizza and wings and mozzarella sticks...not exactly diet fare. BUT, I was able to eat one slice, one stick and only three wings, given the lack of food I had in the day, I think I am safe.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, went to the gym and struggled to stay awake on the elliptical...not a fun feeling. Somehow, I left feeling like I managed to accomplish something...I am taking whatever little bits of sunshine I can get at this point...

I find that I am disliking the deflating parts of myself more and more as time goes on, which may be the best thing that has happened to me. I think that by being so bothered by how I look, I won't want to go back to it. It will be interesting to see how that progresses...it's a weird feeling, I love the changes I am seeing but hate the parts of me that haven't gotten the memo yet that I don't want to be fat anymore.

Now I get to spend my day recovering from yesterday...I think my theme song for today will be a quote from Meatloaf ~

Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?

See what stress does to you??? :)
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Man Ali!! 250 calories all day! Scary!! At least you beeffed up the dinner end of it, even though it wasn't diet fare, you still needed to eat .. lol

I hope you feel better soon.. sounds like you need some sound sleep to catch up with your tired self ... you sound tired...

well ttylater hun
love yas
your friend
natalie jo :cheers2:
 
natalie jo

I am beyond tired...this has been the week from hell, plus some. That being said, I usually make sure I eat way more than that but judges have this policy about not eating in the courtroom, blah blah blah :)

Occupational hazard, I guess...

I did better today, but the beat goes on.

Boy, I have a pretty boring life :)
 
So I had to have a fasting blood test this morning - so much for getting back on the eating bandwagon...on the bright side, maybe I will drop some weight :)

I am really overwhelmed right now with work and my personal life and I can feel the 'old ways' wanting to creep back and take over. I guess the real test of my 'transformation' is whether or not I can resist...

On top of all this, my gym partner just told me that due to a change in his work schedule that we will no longer be able to do our workouts together.

I have to stand on my own.

I have no doubt of my ability to physically go to the gym and do what I need to do, but what I realized is that it was so much more than just a person going through it with me and that is what I am going to miss, terribly.

Have I ever mentioned that I HATE change?
 
ali.smedley said:
On top of all this, my gym partner just told me that due to a change in his work schedule that we will no longer be able to do our workouts together.

I have to stand on my own.

I have no doubt of my ability to physically go to the gym and do what I need to do, but what I realized is that it was so much more than just a person going through it with me and that is what I am going to miss, terribly.
Click to expand...
Check out a website called - they're fairly new so you might not have many people in your area but it's possible.. you can post an ad (they stress it's not a dating site) for a workout buddy in your area...
 
maleficent said:
Check out a website called - they're fairly new so you might not have many people in your area but it's possible.. you can post an ad (they stress it's not a dating site) for a workout buddy in your area...
Click to expand...

Thanks, Mal - I appreciate it...
 
ali.smedley said:
So I had to have a fasting blood test this morning - so much for getting back on the eating bandwagon...on the bright side, maybe I will drop some weight :)

I am really overwhelmed right now with work and my personal life and I can feel the 'old ways' wanting to creep back and take over. I guess the real test of my 'transformation' is whether or not I can resist...

On top of all this, my gym partner just told me that due to a change in his work schedule that we will no longer be able to do our workouts together.

I have to stand on my own.

I have no doubt of my ability to physically go to the gym and do what I need to do, but what I realized is that it was so much more than just a person going through it with me and that is what I am going to miss, terribly.

Have I ever mentioned that I HATE change?
Click to expand...


Ali I have no doubt in my mind you can do this :party:

I am positive you can handle the gym on your own hun. Your "trasnfomation", well I guess you are being tested, but we all believe that your "transformation" is here to stay and you will continue to do beautifully!! Your rock girl!

And I think Mal might be onto something with the site. Go for it!

love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo :biggrinjester:
 
ali.smedley said:
Have fun today!!!!
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I had SO much fun!! lol He is such a nice guy, and nice guys are hard to find. He was such a gentlemen and so sweet. He was so generous with the compliments lmao .. it felt really good to just have him around. We stroll through some shops, stopped at the bookstore, because we both like to read! Wowser, we have so much in common Ali... its awesome!!


totally a trip ..me on a real date! yipee!!

ttylater hun
love yas
natalie jo :party:
 
Hey Ali.

I know what you mean about change. My work schedule has been different just for this week and it has been kind of hard to get to the gym... I just switched from seeing my PT from 2x per week down to just 1, for about 10 or 12 more weeks, then I am on my own. I hope I can keep up the weights without him. I think I can. I will still miss him though, there pushing me beyond my limits. I will have to do that to myself now. All I can do is take what he has given me and run with it. I usually do the whole gym thing by myself but I do have some friends who want to go more, and even my brother too, so maybe I will have to start going with them sometimes.
Hang in there Ali, :)

-Sam
 
I will still miss him though, there pushing me beyond my limits. I will have to do that to myself now. All I can do is take what he has given me and run with it.
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That is so true.

I will miss the companionship more than anything...it was a good way to catch up and shoot the shit you know? My partner is one of my best friends and we didn't have a lot of time together so it served a dual purpose, you know?

I am adjusting, it is hard since I hadn't gone to the gym until we started going together this past October...so he got me through the Oh My God I Think I Am Going To Die part of things...even two weeks ago I was having trouble pushing through reps 9 and 10 on a set of incline presses and he got me through it.

I will just have to adjust...but since this is my diary, I get to whine about it...

I went shopping yesterday and got a steal on an Etienne Aniger (sp?) purse...$128 on sale for $96 and I had a coupon so I paid $75 for it!!! Awesome :) Also I got this totally hot red dress for $20 bucks! It is slinky and totally something the old me would not wear but I was feeling brave so I took the plunge. Now I just need somewhere to wear it.

I am cooking and cleaning and since I was too lazy to get my butt out of bed to work out this morning I am going to have to do something tonight after Abby goes to bed.

If she keeps acting like she has been, her 3 1/2 year old rear is going to be packing it in by 6 :)

I think I have seen enough cartoons to have regressed to the first grade...at least she is watching Tom and Jerry - I love 'old school' cartoons.
 
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Said three and a half year old is supposed to be down for a nap...so why is it I am hearing a stampede above my head coming from the direction of her bedroom???

Sometimes I believe that raising a small child is a lot like trying to nail jello to a tree - a lot of effort goes into it without seeing visible results.

I love her to death though...I just wish for once, she would listen to something, anything I say :)
 
ali.smedley said:
Said three and a half year old is supposed to be down for a nap...so why is it I am hearing a stampede above my head coming from the direction of her bedroom???

Sometimes I believe that raising a small child is a lot like trying to nail jello to a tree - a lot of effort goes into it without seeing visible results.

I love her to death though...I just wish for once, she would listen to something, anything I say :)
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Nailing jello to a tree ..that is an awesome metaphor Ali ..lol
I think thats how Peter feels ..he says Jasmine is a sassy little girl ...at seven ... so ...

he is the guy I am dating ..
anyway I think its so cute ..a little stampede over your head lol I am sure you are frustrated ..but it sounds cute

ttylater
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo
and thanks for messaging me .. sometimes I am such a ninny! lol
:bigear:
 
Not so much frustrated as amazed. Apparently 'stay in bed' is a metaphor for 'get up and run around like a banshee'.

I put her down to bed and 5 minutes later she was banging around again...this time I go to see what her deal is and she had to tell me that her cat was in her room and he needed to be removed.

I removed the stow away and all has been quiet. TG.

Having been far to lazy to go to the gym today, I decided to do my biggest loser workout dvd. OUCH. I haven't done it in a while and boy did my body let me know it. Oddly despite the soreness I feel bloated and full, I hope that goes away...I didn't do as much of the dvd as I wanted, my legs were burning and I didn't want to hurt myself.

Dinner was a huge salad (hence the bloating) and some crazy chicken and rice mixture I made for myself. I went to the grocery store today and bought a jar of chinese hosin sauce (the stuff used to make mu shu pork) so I used a Tbs of that, with some rice, chicken, water chestunts and mushrooms. Very tasty, reasonable in calories if you only use a little of the sauce. Now, when I told my husband I bought the hosin sauce his response to me was, you bought hos-in-sauce? Pervert.

Tomorrow will be a challenge, we are going to a buffet, which shouldn't be that hard but the culmination of the day will be dessert at my mom's cousin's house, they own this bakery in Philly called Isgros, all Italian pastries, and I get to have it once a year. Canolis here I come.

I will have just a little bit but if you can't splurge once in a while, why bother? I will work out that much harder Monday :)
 
Hey Alli :)

Don't be too hard on yourself for Easter. I have to go to my dad's for dinner that night and I know I'm going to consume at least 2 glasses of wine so that I will be able to stand being around his wife, lol. Plus I don't know what they are even making for dinner yet and she is always making these Paula Deen style desserts that are loaded with cals:rolleyes:

Maybe I will pass on dessert but, then again maybe I won't.....:coolgleamA:

Hope your having a nice weekend

-Sam
 
sammyboy24 said:
Hey Alli :)

Don't be too hard on yourself for Easter. I have to go to my dad's for dinner that night and I know I'm going to consume at least 2 glasses of wine so that I will be able to stand being around his wife, lol. Plus I don't know what they are even making for dinner yet and she is always making these Paula Deen style desserts that are loaded with cals:rolleyes:

Maybe I will pass on dessert but, then again maybe I won't.....:coolgleamA:

Hope your having a nice weekend

-Sam
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Sam -

I especially like the 2 glass of wine requirement so you can deal with the spouse :) I have blood relatives like that LOL. Actually, the dinner part for me tomorrow won't be bad b/c that is my immediate family but back at the dessert house it will be everyone and their mother's uncle ~ Italian housholds are so much fun, my bet is it turns into a shouting contest b/c they all talk so loud, no one can hear each other. Also, there are people there we have seen since I was a baby on account of someone getting pissed off at someone else and not speaking for a quarter century. All of the non-speakers are dead so I guess it is safe to hang around them now.

I am having a better weekend than I was ~ the negative feeling over my gym situation are mostly better, it turns out that there is a chance that he could be joining me at some point in the future...we had a great talk today and he is still there for me as always. That was part of what I didn't want to lose.

Some retail therapy yesterday helped as well. Buying pretty dresses for my shrinking bod doesn't hurt either.

Hope yours is good as well :)
 
Ok...so I did the whole Easter thing, had my DELICIOUS pastries and came out of it all in all no worse for wear :)

It will be salads for me all week. That's ok though, because there is nothing in this world like a cannoli that has been filled right before your eyes...ahhh...no wonder I was gigantic before.

I saw family that I usually only see once a year, which means when they saw me last year I was about 60 pounds heavier than I am now. It was more than a little cool to hear how great I looked. The weird part was people asking "What did you do" and then getting the blank stare when I explained that I simply started eating better and less and got my lazy ass of the couch and started moving. I guess (and I should know better) that people are still looking for a miracle, I know I was for a really long time.

Back to what can only appear to be another grueling week at work...:willy_nilly:
 
ali.smedley said:
Ok...so I did the whole Easter thing, had my DELICIOUS pastries and came out of it all in all no worse for wear :)

It will be salads for me all week. That's ok though, because there is nothing in this world like a cannoli that has been filled right before your eyes...ahhh...no wonder I was gigantic before.

I saw family that I usually only see once a year, which means when they saw me last year I was about 60 pounds heavier than I am now. It was more than a little cool to hear how great I looked. The weird part was people asking "What did you do" and then getting the blank stare when I explained that I simply started eating better and less and got my lazy ass of the couch and started moving. I guess (and I should know better) that people are still looking for a miracle, I know I was for a really long time.

Back to what can only appear to be another grueling week at work...:willy_nilly:
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I understand completely...
People as me how I have lost so far and I am like eating in moderation, not eating everything in site ..exercising ..lol they think I have been on a pill that makes me lose weight lol

but I have been horrid .. I gained one pound back from last week ...so ugh ..but there is next Monday lol

So your Easter sounded like it went well... compliments ...pastries ...and I am eating salad this week too!!!!! lmao ...tonight I am having one lol
ttylater hun
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo
 
Sounds like you had a great Easter Ali. Mine went much better than I thought. I did over indulge a little bit with the wine and the cheesecake, and some Easter candy, lol. It's going to be lots of salads and cardio for me this week.

It is nice to hear people notice that you have lost weight. I hadn't seen my older brother since Christmas and hadn't seen my stepmother since Thanksgiving, so they were asking me how I'd been losing weight and stuff...

I completely agree that many people are still looking for a miracle or a special pill. It gets on my nerves a little bit but I used to be the same way.... Eating healthily and in moderation most of the time and being very liberal with the exercise is what works, but most people just don't want to work that hard or they still want a quick fix. I'm almost a year in and haven't lost 50lbs yet and I don't really care. I've lost a good amount and packed on some muscle but I know since its taken me awhile I will probably keep it off forever. Many of these "healthy habits" have become second nature, whether I want to admit it or not...

Have a Happy Monday,
Sam
 
So I have to go to the gym tonight instead of going this morning...it is a weight-lifting day for me so I get to attempt to share the gym with the teenage meatheads that are there...I am starting to like doing the free weights and my squats and having them look at me. I guess my confidence is building, or some happy crap like that.

For the past few days I have been so hungry, I just want to eat everything in sight - not sure what is up with that but it needs to go away, lol...

I worked until 1130 last night and am so sleepy today...sometimes I wish I worked in a less mentally challenging field, maybe I should call my old boss and see if they will take me back...haha - I could give out divorce advice to people as I am selling them their wedding rings ;)
 
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