Hakuna Matata

Hey Ms Very Busy!!! wow!!! its been hectic for you to say the least!!!!
I m happy that you look for the positive in your schedule!!! Go girl!!!
As for being worried about dinner..an option is to cook for a few days at once and stick food in the freezer/fridge. i shared a flat with a nurse a few years ago - and thats what she did - worked out perfectly for her. maybe give it a go!
I know you can figure something out!!
Have a lovely day!! hugs :grouphug:
 
Randoms...

Thank you my amazing ladies! Both of you have great ideas, thanks so much for all your support & ideas. :grouphug:

My day off was fantastic. Very relaxing & just what I needed! I managed to do some things around the house, soak up some sun, and wash my truck.

I forgot to tell yall that a few weeks ago I had to go get new scrubs when I started work (because my MEDIUMS are HUGEEE, like I'm swimming in them!) & I fit a small top & an extra small bottoms!! I don't know what the extra tiny girls do but I was quite happy to be even close to an EXTRA SMALL!!! Definitely left me in a good mood.
& I just ordered two new sets, one top has cows on it.
:party:

I also bought the month of May "Self" magazine and I really enjoyed reading some of their healthy meal
& exercise ideas! I would definitely recommend picking it up if you stumble across it.
 
Awesome about the scrubs!! I just love all the fun patterns on scrubs lol I get health in the mail every month and they have really good recipes too! Always some reasonable desserts in there too if you are going low fat. This month they have some coffee cake in there. Looks super good :)

Hope you have a great week!
 
I ALWAYS find myself wondering what these tiny girls wear now that I'm buying some smalls!!! Isn't it a crazy feeling?? You're doing great :)
 
Getting caught up on your diary......Happy belated B-day - sorry the actual day wasn't that great.

Exciting about the scrubs. YAY!

Regarding dinner - just keep playing around with what works for you. I don't think you should skip it - but if you don't want a big meal - have something small and balanced.
 
I'm the BEST at Procrastination

Tally- I love fun scrubs but the size small absolutely drowned me so now I'm not sure if I should send them off to exchange or just get them tailored at home. & On a sad note the XS pants in the different brand were snug... that's one motivation factor, I have to fit in those pants better!

Laura- Thanks girl! I know, I'm blown away!

Jennifer- Thanks lady! I appreciate the advice for dinner! I'm thinking that I may end up only having that issue twice a week now, whew!

Well, once again I've fallen off the train.
I keep using my new schedule as an excuse & I haven't been going to the gym (since I'm between semesters the gym isn't open till Wednesday)..

I've also been feeling extremely under the weather due to extreme allergies but it's led to me allowing myself to eat things I normally wouldn't (& Like on Friday I had 2 sodas, even on my bad days I usually limit myself to one soda a day, I don't do diet sodas) to try to make myself feel satisfied and 'better'.

I'm rather frustrated with myself because I'm continuing to get frustrated as hell with my body but I'm LIVID with myself for not doing anything noticeable about it... I'm my worst enemy.

On a good note I decided to order a bathing suit top today. I've been torn between waiting on losing weight (while dealing with not having one at the moment) or just ordering one but I realized that I still have a few months before I am where I want to be and being on the lake all summer without a good top to tan in I'm going to be even more likely to let my body get me down. The extra pushing factor was I actually found the top in my size! (Which I NEVER expected since I need custom bras) So I have decided that I will still order two new suits for the cruise as my reward for weight loss but I'm sick of dealing with nothing for now :) Plus being in a top will make me keep up with my workout routine to see that shrinking tummy.
Pink isn't my favorite but I can't afford to be picky!


Part of me can't wait to start school again so that I get in that routine and spend less time choosing the lazy route. With a crazy schedule I'll have less time to fall victim to boredom eating as well as making myself workout when I go on campus (which will be every day) But I'm still not ready to get back to the studying :(

Soooo.... yeah, sorry that was really just a bunch of rambling and irritation on my part.
 
Fire deep inside

WELL, I don't know what is up but I woke up at 6:30 this morning to a really strange dream. It didn't sit well in my mind and I layed in bed for like 20 or so minutes thinking about people from my past and it got me MAD. I'm AMPED up to finally make a difference. I'm READY to do this NOW. I want to show EVERYONE who has doubted me & I'm ready to put my heart in this. Something really started my fire this morning & I plan on using this to my advantage! LETS DO THIS!!
& I seriously mean it this time! This is the first day to the rest of my life.
 
That top is super adorable! We don't go to the beach that often so I always wonder if it's pointless and I have a top already but no matching bottoms lol

I think its hard to stay away from exercising too long without completely falling off the wagon. It gets easier and easier to say tomorrow or maybe next week. Just do some even if you just do some crunches but I think if you even tried to have a goal of fitting at least 30 minutes into it everyday you will find yourself in a better place. It's hard but once it becomes a habit you don't really give yourself the option of leaving it behind.

You can do this! Have a great week :)
 
No Time!

Well things have been INSANEEE around here. I most definitely underestimated my schedule. I'm exhausted. I don't have time to breathe, it's quite possibly the most stressed I've been in maybe my whole life. AHHH!! I haven't been good with food because of my hectic schedule {& tempting goodies at work} but when I nervously stepped on the scale this morning and was surprised to see a drop down to 148.4! I decided yesterday to go back off soda & Im proud to say I didn't have one yesterday & as bad as I want one right now I'm resisting. && I've planned on getting up to go to the gym the past two mornings but honestly that extra hour or two of sleep is crucial when I'm getting 5 or 6 hours a night (& Im one of those people that NEEDS my sleep, 8+ hours) SO at this point I am still determined to do this and I am but I know I need to commit more but I'm stretched so thin right now I'm really just trying to get through it. However, I think I'm getting a routine & if I stay ahead of myself with school work [like do school work on Tuesdays/Thursdays & save M,W,F for lecture & work, not assignments]

BUT on a good note I got out of lab an hour earlier than I expected & I took a few minutes for myself on the boat (it was the first time I've been able to go out since he got it at the beginning of May!) I'm feeling revived and encouraged so hopefully I'll make it to the gym tomorrow or even a Zumba class at 12.
 
Sun poisoning

Just popping in to update :hurray:

I weighed myself this morning & I'm down nearly a pound to 147.6. I can't wait to be out of the 140s! At this point I've lost 15 pounds but I don't see it, I actually feel bigger so I'm ready to see it already! But atleast the number on the scale is going down.
We went grocery shopping today and Mike had quite a few healthy recipes so I'm excited about that. (he tends to fix things that aren't as healthy)

I had fun on the lake yesterday (since work was closed for memorial day) but I got sun poisoning. It's been awful, I'm BRIGHT red & i've been dizzy/vomiting all day :( & it's sad because how i was laying I now have a line where my stomach was folded over around my belly button. My heart sank when I saw that, I felt SO fat. I may try to get some sunless tanner for that spot but it still really really bothers me.

what did Dori say in Finding Nemo "just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

Hope all my lovely ladies are doing great!
 
So I'm kind of frustrated. The past few times I've stepped on the scale I've been steady at 150 even though I've been getting up early and making it to the gym every morning before class. I'm really pushing myself and I get a good 45 min- 1 hour workout each day which is followed by hiking up the but busting hill of death which sits between where I park [close to the gym] and the library... I then have to walk a long distance from my class/lab back to my car but I'm proud for resisting the urge to move my car to a closer parking lot... more calories burned.

Creepy dude is still there & creepin' but I use the annoyance to push my body harder.

I've got a few friends coming in town for the 4th of July and I'm super pumped (I haven't seen them since November & March) so I was hoping to really push it the next few weeks so I look slimmer when they come.

On a great note though my first summer session will be over NEXT week!! That means I'll go from 7 hours to 4 after a 2 week break from school (not work).... I'm super pumped because this class is killing me, the teacher is AWFUL.

I've eaten pretty ok today: Not as good as I'd hoped but not terrible
2 bananas
15 cherries
1 bowl cereal with skim milk (150 cals)
1 cheddar string cheese
1 english muffin with pb and jelly

So ya, just a little update (aka procrastination, I have a test tomorrow) I'm still pluggin' along, slowly but surely. Staying positive, head high.
 
Still losing my battle

So the first summer session is FINALLY over. Thank goodness! Things have been a total rollercoaster lately and I think its fair to blame some of my wieght gain on lack of sleep and extreme stress but the worst is over. In the second summer session I won't have my internet class so that will be so much better for time management purposes. I was going to the gym every morning before class and I really enjoyed that routine but I must admit that I ruined it with my diet. I haven't been turning down the sweets... so sadly I'm back to 152 but I've GOT to do something because the cruise is QUICKLY approaching! So I went to the gym this morning and gave it my all. I'm going to be going twice a day until school starts back in two weeks (then I'll probably go back to once a day but with better eating habits!) && I'm going to start back with my food diary for some accountability.

So far its about to be lunch & I've had 2 hard boiled eggs & lots of water.
 
One month.

So the countdown to the cruise begins, one month to bust my ass and really make a difference.

I had a problem with the gym (can't go between summer sessions) so I've been doing as much as I can at home. I had friends in town this weekend for 4th of July & we had a great time with great food and plenty of alcohol so lord only knows I gained weight but at this point I've got a month and its business time...

I apologize that this journal seems to have gotten a bit repetitive. However, I think I just do it to vent/write it out rather than for support recently as no one has commented.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, America! :patriot:
 
Good heavens - time has flown by.

I think having a journal to vent/write about your weight struggles and triumphs is helpful. You may need to go back and read through from the beginning every now and then.

I know how you feel about working out consistently and not seeing the numbers on the scale go down - it can be really frustrating. In my case - I know I can do better with my food choices - but I also want to enjoy my life and not count calories, fat grams, etc. I'm ok with slow weight loss - the goal is to get it off for life - right?

You are crazy busy girl! Make sure you allow time for you each day - especially for working out - and perhaps set aside time once a week to plan your meals/snacks and prepare as much as you can in advance. I know it sounds crazy - but I used to pack 7 days of cereal in little containers - same with milk - veggies too. Fruit I would pack up a couple times a week.

Best of luck kicking it into a higher gear as the cruise approaches (just don't stress about it too much) - enjoy the cruise - think of me on the West Coast - wishing I was getting ready for a cruise. :)
 
Big problems

Ok, so update time. First with weight loss. I'm down to 146 as of this morning, yay! None of my shorts fit any more so I'm going shopping with a friend this weekend!

Now onto an update on life... Mike & I are having major issues. I think it's time to move on so I've been searching for places to move. He is currently out of town so he doesn't know yet but I'm just not getting treated as I should lately. I am the one he vents to but he doesn't have fun with me anymore. Instead he has all his fun with one of his friends. It's so frustrating! I even went home this past weekend to give him space and in order to try and get him to miss me but instead he spent all weekend with Megan. He barely communicated with me at all and left Sunday (before I got back) to go visit a friend in Florida (spur of the moment). I have left most of the communication up to him and there just has been like 2 or 3 texts a day and two phone calls total. One was because I asked him to call while another was a call he was returning from me. It's just not fair. He hasn't said I love you in a few days and hasn't said anything about missing me. He said we'd skype when he was gone but he hasn't initiated that at all.... He also originally said he'd be home Wednesday or Thursday then when I asked him last night he said Sunday. I was so upset. He just doesn't seem to give a shit if I'm around or not. My biggest problem is the cruise. Do I stick around till that's over? This sucks so bad. I really want it to work out with him but it's not fair anymore. I wanted to talk to him but not on the phone... but this week away is EATING at me. Any advice?
:rant:

 
My advise (for what it is worth): stop texting/calling, regardless what you want to achieve with it. I know this is extremely frustrating - been there. Play it cool and keep your dignity. Never act desperate. And take your own decisions - if you want out (like you seem to suggest) I wouldn't wait till the cruise. Can't you take a friend on the cruise?
 
relationship advice?

You asked...

The cruise getting close so any relationship anxiety you are feeling now might be because you are putting a lot of expectations on the cruise and not sharing those expectations with your guy. Expectations, even your own, can put pressure on a person. Don't run away, just relax.

Make time to talk to your guy about details from the cruise. What each scenario will be like, how it will feel, what you anticipate seeing or eating or reading or doing. Be specific about how you imagine the mornings, days, nights, dinners, poolside, etc will be like. How will you dress, what will you buy, how will it smell, will there be tacky ice sculptures or a chocolate fountain, and show girls? Will you get a crush on the bartender in his cute white uniform? Will the housekeepers let you sleep late after a romantic evening? All these things are totally necessary to imagine! Talking about these details with him will help both of you manage your expectations and lower your anxiety about the unknown environment and adventure brought on by the cruise.

A month isn't too long, stay focused on your exciting trip and you can be cool until then. Then when both of you are relaxing in the sunny breeze of the Lido-deck, you'll have time to reconnect, and then will be the perfect time to communicate to him what you feel he can do in every-day life to help you feel more wanted and adored. You don't need to go into what he's doing wrong, but tell him what he can do to make you happy, because I'll bet that's still important to him and some ideas from you will help him do just that.

He's probably a really nice guy, you can't fault him if he's not a mind reader. So few are!
 
So much has happened since the last time I wrote... except me losing weight.


I didn't go on the cruise. I got off the boat an hour after boarding because I was not about to get treated like shit for 7 days in the middle of the ocean with my ex. Things had gotten really bad and it got bad enough physically and mentally that it wouldn't have been a good vacation. So there went $550 I didn't have. My parents picked me up from the port (which was 4 hours from my house) and I eventually made it back to school. Luckily, I'd already moved out.


I'm in a MUCH better place in my life now. I didn't realize just how bad that relationship was until it was over. I was miserable. Sadly, the latest drama involves him jumping into a new relationship with a 19 year old (he's 26) about a month after the break up. I'm glad to be out but I feel disrespected that he didn't take time to do the things he said (like find himself) or take any sort of break after our year long very serious -life planned out, ring picked out- relationship.

Oh well, moving on..


I'm really just trying to do me, I take my dog on a run every night with my roommate and that's been great. I'm really getting my diet straight and I'm sitting at 144.6 lbs as of this morning. This spite burns deep, I can't wait to show off a skinnier me to all the haters. -- I even deleted Facebook for a while to focus on myself! --


I'm trying to stay away from a rebound and guys in general but Prince charming where are you?


Hope everyone has been doing well, I've missed all of you and your wonderful support! I've got 20 pounds down, 20 to go, lets do this!
 
Revenge Diet seems to always be the most effective xD. You get em, girl! I'll be rooting for you for that last 20 lbs.
 
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