Gym and Dancefloor misconceptions.

JMike

JMike

New member
I've read a lot of threads about how people feel insecure at the gym, about how everyone is looking at them, about how everyone looks better...

Its the same way when people don't want to get out and dance at club because they think they cant dance, and everyone will be laughing and snickering at them.

BS!

Everyone at that gym or on that dancefloor is so preoccupied with what they are doing and with their own routine that they will scarcely give you a passing glance.

People don't watch us, nor care about what we are doing near as much as we think.

Get it out of your head.
 
spend 15 minutes at my gym and you will not be saying bs.. every gym is different..

not that it matters but to make the assumption that people don't notice what others are doing is entirely wrong -i t shouldn't stop a person however.

and how it compares to dance floor is really wrong it's been about 20 years since i've been to a dance club but it always was about being noticed -if you weren't being noticed there was no point to going...
 
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I was thinking that it may be different for girls, not sure, never been one, except on halloween one year but thats a different story.

But being a guy I know that we don't typically stare or give second glances to girls we find unattractive, so ladies if you keep noticing a guy looking at you then you probably have something he finds interesting :)

And as for the dancefloors being like gyms, I still adhere that they are, but then again I could apply the concept to people in general and leave gyms and dancing out of it and say that I generally feel people are more concerned with themselves than with others, to the point that the only reason they would bother pointing out someone else's flaws would be personal gain, such as an ego trip by giving you advice you don't need, or making themselves look better for their friends by cutting you down. Come to think of it I can see alot of situations where my concept would fail BUT in practice with what ive personally seen, nobody really seems to care. I used to be really afraid to dance, I really dont know how, but after sitting and watching for 20 minutes or so one night I realized nobody was even looking at anyone else, hardly even their partners(this is a club with techno music/flashy lights and stuff) so I got out there and did whatever felt natural and never got a second glance, and had alot of fun.
 
I kind of agree. In a club, if there are a lot of people, you probably won't be noticed and called a poor dancer, though you might stick out like a sore thumb.
In regards to a dance class however, I completely agree. When I first went to bellydancing, I though it would be awful, there'd be tons of perfect girls who could dance amazingly and would think im disgusting and think i dont have a dancers body at all. That of course was my negativity shining through. But in the end, it was a ton of people that were all about enjoying themselves. Even though other people were way better, infact one girl in the class with me is now a teacher, but the good ones i ended up looking to for inspiration. It was great.

so if you feel that way about going to a class, or to a gym, fight through it, because something good will come from it.
 
JMike said:
But being a guy I know that we don't typically stare or give second glances to girls we find unattractive, so ladies if you keep noticing a guy looking at you then you probably have something he finds interesting :)
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or you have a booger hanging from your nose...

Interesting is in the eye of the beholder...

I've been known to giggle and point when people's flys are open and usually -whwn it's open -there's nothing interesting to be seen there :D

at the gym - I tend to notice not the attractive ones -- or the unattractive ones for that matter but the ones who are engaged in annoying (to me) behavior... or just being a dork...
 
I used to get really caught up in what I thought others would think of me working out at the gym. I just have this whole "outsider looking in complex" that sometimes really messes with my mind. For some reason I felt un-worthy of lifting weights, like I didn't deserve to do it and if I did I would just look like an asshole anyways. I know, crazy....

Well I'm happy to say that I don't feel that way as much anymore. It's taken a lot on my part of just basically stepping out of my comfort zone and doing what I needed to do. I try not to pay too much attention to other people at the gym. I like to go in the mornings because there are a lot of different types of people there, from old to young, from big to small. I really like it. I occasionally get the stare-down from some huge random douchebag who thinks he's the shit (or perhaps I'm way off and he's trying to hit on me or something, lol. I need to be more optimistic like that:) )

What it boils down to is that most people who go to the gym are all working on the same basic goal, to improve their body. I admire many people there who are working out. I know how hard it is and I've had a taste (compared to some) on what a journey it can be.

Another thing, that I constantly have to remind myself is: "Why care about what others think?" It's a rough game to play with yourself, and you really never win. It usually just makes you feel bad and keeps you from doing what your really want to do, and living your life to the fullest. I still struggle with this, but I'm working on it.

This has turned into quite the post for me. I hope it doesn't come off weird or anything. It's just what goes on in my head (often) and I guess I just needed to get it out.

Oh... And for dancing at the club, I usually need a little bit of liquid courage before this white boy thinks he's found some rhythm :rotflmao:

-Sam
 
I never noticed anyone looking at me in the gym. I don't see why they would. I've seen people who are twice my size working out, nobody seemed to look at them either.

As for the dance floor, well, that's a funny story. I only went dancing once. And as soon as I began my seizure of a dance as soon as the girl I was dancing with burst into uncontrollable laughter. You remember that Seinfeld episode where Elaine dances at the office party? It was something like that. I haven't danced since. :D
 
sammyboy24 said:
I used to get really caught up in what I thought others would think of me working out at the gym. I just have this whole "outsider looking in complex" that sometimes really messes with my mind. For some reason I felt un-worthy of lifting weights, like I didn't deserve to do it and if I did I would just look like an asshole anyways. I know, crazy....

Well I'm happy to say that I don't feel that way as much anymore. It's taken a lot on my part of just basically stepping out of my comfort zone and doing what I needed to do. I try not to pay too much attention to other people at the gym. I like to go in the mornings because there are a lot of different types of people there, from old to young, from big to small. I really like it. I occasionally get the stare-down from some huge random douchebag who thinks he's the shit (or perhaps I'm way off and he's trying to hit on me or something, lol. I need to be more optimistic like that:) )

What it boils down to is that most people who go to the gym are all working on the same basic goal, to improve their body. I admire many people there who are working out. I know how hard it is and I've had a taste (compared to some) on what a journey it can be.

Another thing, that I constantly have to remind myself is: "Why care about what others think?" It's a rough game to play with yourself, and you really never win. It usually just makes you feel bad and keeps you from doing what your really want to do, and living your life to the fullest. I still struggle with this, but I'm working on it.
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Sam,

It is like you reached into my mind and plucked out exactly what I have thought regarding this exact same issue. I am one of the people who have posted about getting stared at in the gym and the longer I am in this thing, the more I realize that they probably aren't staring and if they are, the problem is theirs, not mine. The gym is there to help people improve themselves, not just as a gathering place and if someone wants to look at me like I am a freak b/c I am not model-thin and I *gasp* have the termerity to be in 'their space' then shame on them.

I didn't get this far by sitting on my a*s, you know? It has taken a long time, and it still bothers me when it happens but I find that over time, I am caring less now than I did before.
 
maleficent said:
that's the real answer..

People do notice others in the gym - and not becuase they're hot or not... people notice people...that is human nature...
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Exactly. Of course I'm going to go to the gym and watch people AND they're going to watch me. What else is there to watch? I would say it is a lot like a club...for the opposite that JMike says. I check out all the losers (myself included) and all the people who think their hot-sh**, and everyone else, for that matter, at both places. Its human. As well people know they're being watched. You can't tell me that the skinny chick in the skin-tight white velor track suit with the black thong sticking out of the top does not hope someones checking her out... or the guy flexing in the mirror. Some ego-maniac mega lifters, do snicker at us poor slobs with bad technique. Look through the forum, there's all kinds of joking about ridiculous people at the gym.

It comes down to comfort. Personally, when I'm at the gym...I like to blend into the wallpaper. If I'm the one thats sticking out, I won't want to be there. So, no, it isn't all in your head. People watch people...thats why there's the term "people-watching".
 
I was really worried when I started the gym that everyone would stare at me, and had the argument ready - 'yea I'm fat, but I'm doing something about it'. I never needed it though, I've been lucky in finding a gym where no-one stares, there are all shapes, sizes and ages who go and it's a really friendly atmosphere.
 
I tend to notice people who are doing amazing work, people who are running at 8.5 or 9.0 for 45 minutes straight or dudes who are able to bench their own weight or more.

Rarely I'll notice the retards, like people who wear Chuck Taylor Allstars while running on the treadmill. Idiots. Everyone else just blends in.

Mostly I'm just watching myself in the mirror or window, or watching the overhead TV.

Tamara
 
I look at people. I look at them and how they work out. I learn how to do new excersises and such. I also notice hot guys if they happen to be around. It is human nature to look. I don't oogle. I'm sure people look at me too for whatever reason. At first I thought it would bother me, but it doesn't.

You can always tell who wants to be stared at, but what they wear and how they carry themselves.

Now on a dance floor, people do look at you, more so than in a regular gym, I think.
 
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