Gotta keep trying, eh?

Today's weigh-in:

164.5 No change.

I'm actually ok with this. I had a bad week. I went on a binge, skipped a workout, and ran out of food, so I've been eating cheese sandwiches for the last three days, plus bits of any other **** I can get my hands on. Those cheese sandwiches are really getting old though. Not old, like agewise..just like, I want to stop eating them-wise.

Ok I have class now, I'm out.


Starting - 175
1/14/08 - 172
1/21/08 - 167
1/28/08 - 165.5
2/4/08 - 167
2/11/08 - 164.5
2/18/08 - 164.5
 
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To the tune of "Danger Zone:"

IIIIIII weeeeeeent tooooooo the grocery store!

Food! No more cheese sandwiches! Progress! Huzzah!

I stocked the F up. And I got bargains! I'm pretty happy with my purchases. I probably got enough food for a month. Who wants to know what I bought? Everyone? Good. Here it is!

1 bell pepper
1 pear
1 eggplant (eggplant sale!)
Bananas!
Onions
Grapes!
Mushrooms
Olives
Canned tomatoes
Canned pineapple
Frozen carrots
Frozen Spinach
Frozen Cauliflower
Frozen Broccoli
Frozen Lima beans!
Frozen Brussel sprouts
Tuna
Salmon fillets
Frozen shrimp
Frozen scallops
Ground turkey
Turkey sausage
Chicken breasts (so many breasts)
Little eye of round steaks
Lean ground beef
Split peas
White beans
Chickpeas
Black beans
Whole wheat spaghetti
Brown rice
Old fashioned oats
Flaxseed
Skim milk
Feta cheese
Cottage cheese
Plain yogurt
Fat-free mozzarella
Fat-free cheddar
Eggs
Natural peanut butter
Fat-free mayo and pickle relish (For tuna)
Green tea (decaf of course!)
Splenda
Panties

I thought I did pretty good so I got a little carton of strawberries for a reward. I may have them with breakfast tomorrow. Which will consist of WHATEVER I DAMN WELL WANT (with protein!) because I have food now.
 
Well I have seen myself sliding down into the inevitable and I'm sad to say I'm there. I've gotten to the point I always get to, maybe a little faster this time. This is the point where I start to feel worthless and that my labors are fruitless and blah this is too hard and nobody cares if I'm healthy anyway.

I was thinking about it last night and how even when I start these little fitness kicks I get on I start them with the idea that I'm going to fail. I START that way. That is clearly a bad decision.

But I was thinking about it last night and I have NO good reason for failing every time. I have reasons, but I don't have any GOOD ones. Yeah, I have a problem with falling to expectations to failure, but I know it's not impossible to pull yourself out. I broke the abusive boyfriend cycle (finally). I was the first kid in my neighborhood to graduate high school (My little brother was the second, and I have another brother finishing this year--so proud!) and now here I am about to get a bachelor's degree in May. I can break cycles, and I can do stuff. Things are not impossible just because I've never done them before. I know what to do, I have all the knowledge I need, and I have the ability to apply. What I don't have is the strength to believe in myself.

But I feel like I'm about to change that. I feel hopeful, at the very least. The difference between then and now is that now I feel like I'm fighting. I've slipped down there yes, but I'm still fighting. I messed up and ate Burger King, but when I went grocery shopping I bought all good things. As long as I don't let go I can pull myself back up.

Sorry you had to read my personal pep talk.
 
I'm reminded of a Zen parable that goes something to the effect that a teacher was wished a table to be moved to the other side of his room. He asked one of his students to do that for him. The student tried once, but wasn't successful in budging it. Two more tries yielded similar results, and the teacher asked the frustrated student, "Why are you not able to move this table?". The student replied, "Because the table is too heavy." to which the teacher replied, "No, it is because you are not strong enough."

All of which goes to say, you're the measure of your world - things are as they are, but you have the capacity for change. Use it, and become strong enough to move your own personal obstacles.
 
I think I'm being boycotted again.

So I made some whole-wheat protein pancake creations. Verdict: Not the best thing ever. But not bad either.

Who rocks the side ponytail? Wicked rad.
 
Thanks! I wore it all day.

I am crazy. I discovered this through a talk with Tom last night. Ok it wasn't really a discovery. It's funny because I think of other people and the things they put themselves through and I'm always like, chill out dudes. But then I look at myself and I'm just as anxious and crazy I'm like, when did this happen? I never even thought to look at myself like that. I think I've been in denial for 22.75 years.

Thanks guys, I think you've put me on the road to recovering from nearly 23 years of self-destruction. I'm not kidding either, I never even thought of this stuff. All it took was a few "You're crazys" from some used-to-be-strangers on an internet forum!

Now, let's talk about my WORKOUT, which I DID. :)

I got up this morning and in the interest of time decided to eat after working out. Bad plan. I felt oddly sick through it and when I was on my last set of my last exercise I got really sick and dizzy and had to sit down, lie down, actually. When my stomach settled I decided to forgo the last set and go ahead and eat. I felt immediately better so I'm going to say that that was the problem.

New rule for Kit: No working out before breakfast.
 
kittyhartman26 said:
Thanks! I wore it all day.

I am crazy. I discovered this through a talk with Tom last night. Ok it wasn't really a discovery. It's funny because I think of other people and the things they put themselves through and I'm always like, chill out dudes. But then I look at myself and I'm just as anxious and crazy I'm like, when did this happen? I never even thought to look at myself like that. I think I've been in denial for 22.75 years.

Thanks guys, I think you've put me on the road to recovering from nearly 23 years of self-destruction. I'm not kidding either, I never even thought of this stuff. All it took was a few "You're crazys" from some used-to-be-strangers on an internet forum!

Now, let's talk about my WORKOUT, which I DID. :)

I got up this morning and in the interest of time decided to eat after working out. Bad plan. I felt oddly sick through it and when I was on my last set of my last exercise I got really sick and dizzy and had to sit down, lie down, actually. When my stomach settled I decided to forgo the last set and go ahead and eat. I felt immediately better so I'm going to say that that was the problem.

New rule for Kit: No working out before breakfast.
Click to expand...

Here, Kitty, Kitty........Oh......just kidding........

I would like you to read.....my interview, if you havent already.......there may or may not be something of value in it for you. I hope there is, but you should give it a shot in the event there is.

Get tall glass of your favorite drink, it is long......LOL


Just a thought


Hope you are well!


KEEP ROCKEN!


Chillen
 
I got up this morning and completely forgot it was weigh-in day, then I dreaded it. 165, bleh. Stagnant again. So I guess I get to lose two pounds, then stay there for three weeks, then lose another two then stay there for three weeks. Alright!

I'm so tired. I HATE midterm time, it's way worse than finals week. Finals week is a breeze. Now I have to skip my voice lesson because I forgot it was memory day and I don't have a translation for anything and I need to practice for my clarinet lesson anyway and bleck. At least I ate a good breakfast.


Starting - 175
1/14/08 - 172
1/21/08 - 167
1/28/08 - 165.5
2/4/08 - 167
2/11/08 - 164.5
2/18/08 - 164.5
2/25/08 - 165
 
SorryI haven tbeen around - my computer at home isnt working well, and I hvent been at work since Wednesday - reading everything though, you are doing MUCH better!! Good job! I'm glad Tom pepped talked you!
 
Ok, so today was a busy day, as Tuesdays are wont to be.

Food:

9:30 - whey shake, small bunch of grapes. (vanilla whey is really starting to gross me out)
12:00 - pineapple chicken lo mein - Tom, I used a recipe I saw you post in someone else's journal. Pretty dang good! I added broccoli and cauliflower, I don't know how authentically Asian cauliflower is but I wanted to up the the vegetables. I don't think the recipe said to actually saute pineapples in there but I did it anyway. Tasty. It was a little too oily, so I'll cut down if I make it again, but otherwise it was good.
9:00 - some little bite sized puff pastry at a concert
10:00 - yeah I know, I should have eaten earlier, but I really didn't get the chance. I forgot I had to go downtown for a concert. Anyway I had two hardboiled eggs (sans yolk) and some leftover fajita filling I made yesterday. (Chicken, green pepper, onion, black beans, mushrooms, a little sour cream and some salsa)

I'm a salsa freak lately, and like, ten days ago, I didn't even like it.

Oh! This story's for you Shells. I was hardboiling eggs and I put them on and forgot about them. I accidentally boiled them straight for like an hour. When I went back downstairs the water had all boiled away and there were just extremely hot, quivering eggs in the pan. I had to leave so I shut off the gas and left them there. When I came home seven hours later, they peeled perfectly and my roomate and I feasted on them.

Moral of the story, I made hardboiled eggs in the worst way possible and STILL had success:cool:
 
omgz its you? How'd Peyton do in the AFC championship...oh, wait, sorry.
Yes, yes, we blew it...but we got pretty much every NFL record lol so it wasn't a terrible season :)
 
You are so lucky!! lol Ive done that too but I guess I just threw them out - the yolks werent green from over cooking? I also did the let the faucet run in the pot in the sink - well flooded the kitchen! :rolleyes:
 
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