Girl on a Mission: Miss Muffet's Ramblings and Such

today, i BOXED. as in had boxing gloves on my hands and threw punches at my trainer. ME! BOXING!! i am the sweetest, nicest, mild-mannered (but not mild-mouthed) girl. i've never even hit my younger brother. and today, i put on some gloves, and i boxed. and LOVED it :) i told my trainer how much fun i had, and he says tomorrow we'll try kickboxing. i am looking forward to it!

i think i had a cardio breakthrough today as well. i was on a bike, and the first ten minutes i was huffing and puffing. but after those ten minutes... i felt like i could keep going forever. i seriously did not want to stop. my heart rate was in my target zone, i was listening to some great music on my ipod, and i wanted to stay on that bike until the gym closed in ten hours. unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it :p), i had to pick up one of my friends and then go to the pool. so i reluctantly left my post and completed my duties of friendship :)

my mom made "zucchini" today. i go downstairs at dinner time and ask her if it's zucchini that she's preparing. she says yes. i try it, and it is the single most delicious thing i have ever had in my life. after i finish all that's on my plate, my mom says, "i have a confession to make. that wasn't zucchini. it was eggplant." it's a big joke in my family that i HATE eggplant. my parents think that it's the greatest thing since walmart supercenters, but i think it's TERRIBLE. so i was shocked when she said it was eggplant! i thought she had just burned the skin on the zucchini or something and that's why it was black. oh, stupid me...
 
mom yelled at me today, pretty badly. she said if i gained a single pound on my trip to california, she wouldn't speak to me for the rest of her life. it's very difficult, because i'm sure she doesn't mean it. but hearing these negative things makes me just want to give the whole thing up. sometimes i question my reasons for losing the weight. my friends always tell me how beautiful i am. complete strangers will cross the room to tell me that they're stricken by my looks. but i don't recall my parents ever actually saying that i'm beautiful. they always say how pretty i'd be if i just lost the weight.

i don't want to hold anything against them. but when they pinch my stomach and tell me nobody will love me if i stay like this, it just makes it that much harder :( i feel like i'm doing it for them, and i DON'T want that to be the reason. i want to do it for me, i want to be healthy, i want to live a long life and see my kids' kids have kids.

what my mom said today was extremely hurtful.
 
I totally get the parent thing. You have my sympathies.

Every time I go home to visit my mom, she says "Are you sure you aren't pregnant? You sure are large!" This last time, she also said she didn't know how I get my feet in shoes, they are so fat.

And then she says "I am just trying to be supportive!"

So yeah...your mom is not helping with that kind of comment.

I think you look gorgeous in your avatar photo! How old are you? You look very young.
 
i'm 18, so yeah :) i'm young. i'm in college during the school year, so coming home for the summer is sort of bittersweet. i've told both of my parents that if they want to be supportive, they can just ignore everything i'm doing that has to do with weight loss and pretend like it's not happening. honestly, i think that would be great. then i'd DEFINITELY be doing it for me, and i'd feel a whole lot better about it. but oh well, gotta love em anyway i suppose... good luck with your weight loss (and your mom :p)!!
 
I used to have the same problem with my parents, not anymore.

but my ex bf ..which I just broke it off with ..used to call me f a t and what not... he would tell me I was kind of pretty but not anything else, like really pretty or beautiful. I was never beautiful in his eyes ...
love was not the strongest point in our relationship ...
Men can stink at times ...

but You do this for you .. I was doing it for him... now I have to totally pick myself up and do this for me ...for real ...he is gone and now whats taken his place is nothing but a drive for my own self esteem .. he knocked that out of me... don't let your parents take control over your weight loss ..if you can ...

keep doing it for you ... you will be the only one who will reap the rewards ...


its all about you and for you ... think of yourself and don't let your parents get you down ... :)

best wishes
natalie jo :)
 
thanks so much for your wise words... you're absolutely right. this is about ME! i'm going to tell that to my mom. i'm going to say, "mom, you can try as hard as you want to make this about you, but it's not and it's never going to be. this is about me."

i'm going to a friend's house to watch the butterfly effect (a movie i'm embarassed to say i haven't seen yet). she said she didn't know what snacks they had, but she knows they have doritos :p i reminded her that i'm eating healthy and i said that i'd bring some snacks instead. tee hee :)

made dessert today! little cups of fat free sugar free banana pudding with 3 reduced fat nilla wafers in each of them. altogether, about 120 calories! yum... i'm going to go enjoy one right now.
 
and natalie jo, you ARE beautiful. anybody who can't see that is an absolute bonehead. glad you ditched him... you deserve WAY better than that girl!
 
so the boy (THE boy, if you catch my drift) deleted his facebook, which was my only way of knowing remotely anything that was happening in his life, since we're on ridiculously awkward terms due to a stupid, stupid amount of time when we were on ridiculously bad terms. not only that, but his ex-girlfriend (whom he's wayyyyyyyy to close with if you ask me :() has deleted hers as well. i can only hope that they aren't together again. oh boo.

in other news, i've been keeping up with my diet and exercise. all's well there. now i have new motivation to lose weight. i wanna be drop dead gorgeous so that i can stomp all over the boy's heart. ahh, sweet love :p
 
hellooooo, it has been far too long. but i'm here to remedy that :) lost two more pounds! started using interval training on an exercise bike for cardio, and i also use it when swimming laps. still eating pretty well. yesterday i took my little brother to olive garden because he really wanted to go, but i just ate a salad with no dressing, then came home and cooked my own chicken breast.

i'm happy :) let's see if i can get below 155 by the time i leave for california on the 12th.
 
miss muffet said:
so the boy (THE boy, if you catch my drift) deleted his facebook, which was my only way of knowing remotely anything that was happening in his life, since we're on ridiculously awkward terms due to a stupid, stupid amount of time when we were on ridiculously bad terms. not only that, but his ex-girlfriend (whom he's wayyyyyyyy to close with if you ask me :() has deleted hers as well. i can only hope that they aren't together again. oh boo.

in other news, i've been keeping up with my diet and exercise. all's well there. now i have new motivation to lose weight. i wanna be drop dead gorgeous so that i can stomp all over the boy's heart. ahh, sweet love :p
Click to expand...

You will definitely meet your goal and stomp away! lmao .. I am thinking of sending my ex a pic of me when I am finished with my whole ..and I mean whole weight loss ..just rub it in a little more ...but would never take the jerk back ...

You go Girl and thanks for the kind words .. You Rock!

Your journal is so positive!
You are so positive!
Thats and excellent thing to have ..positive energy .. keep trecking .. :)
You will reach your goals, we all know you will!

I bought a new hair style today from my hair sylist. My bf never wanted my hair up above half way up my back .. but its just underneath my shoulders .. I will have to get pics to show my hair cut ...

best wishes
natalie jo :)
 
ooh definitely get pics of the new haircut up, i wanna see :) you're wonderful. your support is wonderful. thank you thank you thank you.



sooo today is independence day here in the states, of course i did my fair share of celebrating... a good friend had a small get together. and i will admit to indulging a bit much. cookies, cake, burger, and a bit of, er, firewater. and i've got a nice 10:30 AM appointment with the trainer in the morning. oh great...
 
so you'll sweat it all out lol hehe
i didn't come in here before so let me also welcome you here :)

you're doing really great. i read your diray and you seem really focused, which is the most important thing in my oppinion.
what's new with that guy? and his ex?
have a great day
Lena
 
thanks for the welcome lena :) as for the boy and his evil, evil ex... i have no idea what they're up to. bah. i prefer not to think about it. in my perfect imaginary world, we are married and she is an old ugly cat lady. is that a bit harsh? hahaha :p


okay. I DESERVE APPLAUSE. i am recovering from last night's alcohol binge. i'm on my period (sorry boys). i got 6 hours of sleep when i usually get 10. and i STILL went to the gym for an hour and a half. did upper body for half an hour, and my arms are like jello. seriously? i did terribly. by the end, my trainer was practically doing the work for me. ugh, i'm never drinking again :p cardio for an hour on the bike, incorporating interval training.

i am so proud of myself. yay for miss muffet :)
 
ugh, i hate the scale. i figure i won't be weighing myself while on my period anymore, because it's ridiculously depressing. bah.

i'm very sore. my shoulders are immobile. the trainer tried to help by stretching me out on this torture-looking machine :p i think a couple of ibuprofins will do the trick just fine.

tomorrow i'm going to a birthday party and will have to exercise restraint around the cake and cookies. i already way overdid it on the fourth, and i don't want another episode like that for at least a month. man oh man... bad. haha.

my new favorite food is applesauce. which has much sugar in it, but just two spoonfuls curbs my sweet tooth, so i'm not too worried about it. i'm going to go grocery shopping tomorrow and buy a bunch of fun things, because i'm all out of healthy food right now. looks like i'll be surviving on broccoli and nonfat yogurt until tomorrow :p i kid, i kid. i should have to wear a warning label, i'm so funny
 
i ate quite badly today. twas that birthday party... cake, chips, pizza, chicken wings... yuck. didn't eat too much of anything, only dabbled here and there, but still. yuck. oh well, i'm off to the gym tomorrow to take care of it...

went grocery shopping today and bought all kinds of fun stuff :) it's amazing how many great things are out there if only you look for them.
 
workouts have been going well, today i did some moderate interval training on the stationary bike for a whole hour... NOT include warmup or cool down :) yay, very happy about that. weight training has been going fine as well, although my butt is crazy sore from my workout yesterday. since i'm leaving for california on thursday, the trainer says that tomorrow's workout will be "hell" so that it can last me two weeks until i get back... oh lord.

i feel good about this. REALLY good :)
 
oh! and i'm going to see the new harry potter movie tonight at midnight with my closest friends! what could be more exciting than that???
 
leaving for california today. i'll be there for two weeks. hopefully i'll be able to keep up this healthy lifestyle while i'm there... wish me luck :)
 
when it is late at night and i am alone, john williams' greatest hits soundtrack creeps me out. is that strange? is it strange that i even listen to that soundtrack? perhaps i ought to pose that as a hypothetical question :p

anyway, i'm home from cali. had a blast and didn't gain any weight. didn't lose any, but i am crazy happy that i didn't gain any. yay :) glad to be back.
 
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