Getting married in August & can't bear to look in the mirror! Desperate for support

[slimbride2b]

So, I guess this is my first step to becoming a slim bride! I've had my "one more day" of binge eating and vegetating in front of the tv, and now I am GOING to loose these (quite a few) extra pounds which make me so miserable. I have been with my fiance for 8 years, and we are getting married this August which I am incredibly happy/excited about, but the whole experience is completely marred by the fact that I am a big bride. My BMI is 33, which puts me in the obese catagory. Obese, that's a word that sticks in my throat. I love my fiance very much, and he is always telling me how sexy and beautiful I am, even though I was a size 6-8 when we met, and have ballooned to this flabby monster which he still wants to marry. But, even though he doesn't find my weight an issue, its a hurdle that I just can't get over. I don't enjoy sex that much anymore, not because of him, but because all the time I'm wondering am I repulsing him, or I spend the whole time trying to hide parts of my body. The thought of setting foot in a wedding dress shop brings me to tears. I can't stand the thought of being condescended by skinny shop assistants and trying to squeeze into sample dresses, or having my mum finding lovely shrugs to cover up my flabby arms, even though she would never say as much. And the horror of having to be photographed for an entire day and then being subjected to sitting and looking at the photos with a lump in my throat because I'm so disgusted with myself. I just can't enjoy this time which should be one of the most precious times. But, the wedding asside, I just want to be happy with myself again. Is there anyone who is going through something similar? It would be so great to have a support network, we could help each other attain our goals, as impossible as they may seem! Thanks.

 

[Addiecakes]

First off, welcome to the forums, and second, congratulations on making the decision to get healthy.

I know exactly what you're going through. My wedding date is set for 10/10/10 and I am so panicked about dresses and pictures ... oh god especially pictures. I'm so terrified that I'm going to find a perfect gown and I won't be able to get it because I'm too big. Just one more thing that my fat body ruins for me ...

Being intimate has become increasingly difficult for me as well, it's hard to be comfortable with your own body even if your significant other has no qualms. It's rough ... I totally understand where you're coming from.

We can change, though. It is totally within our power and I'm confident that you will find plenty of people here who will root you on and help you achieve your goals! I would suggest a few things to get started:

Firstly, I recommend signing up for a free account at fitday.com. This will allow you to document all of your calorie intake for the day, and provides tons of information that will help you change how you eat and how you feel about food.

Secondly, any section of the forums that interests you, read the sticky posts in each section. Particularly in the nutrition and exercise areas, there is tons of beneficial information.

Thirdly, visit some other member's journals in the diary section and consider starting one of your own. They are a great source of inspiration for most people on the forums, and having your own will help keep you accountable for your decisions. They also provide a place where people can offer you feedback and share your successes with you.

I have no doubt that you will find the support you seek here. Best Wishes!

 

[KaraCooks]

Congrats on your engagement! And welcome to the boards.

The first thing I'd suggest is registering for a free account on FitDay - Free Weight Loss and Diet Journal or Calorie Counter, Diet Tracking, Food Journal, Nutrition Facts at The Daily Plate and starting to log your food. This will let you see how many calories you're eating and how your nutrition levels are breaking down. Once you know that, you'll be able to see more clearly where you can make adjustments, cut back, change your nutrition, etc.

The next thing I'd suggest is checking out the various sticky posts in the exercise area of the forum (Weight Loss Through Exercise - Weight Loss Forum). There are some very good posts on exercise, both cardio/aerobic and on incorporating weight lifting into your exercise plans.

I'd also suggest starting a diary in the weight loss diary area (Weight Loss Diary - Weight Loss Forum) as well as reading and participating in other diaries. This is a good way to make updates to your progress and to get support from others. It helps to find the diaries of people who have successfully lost weight (or are losing weight) and reading through them as well. Following the diaries of those who have been successful is both inspiring and informative.

Finally, I'd say you should read as much as you can of the posts on the board, especially anything that's marked "sticky". There is a ton of good information around here and a lot of times questions that new folks have has already been answered very thoroughly - so do take the time to look around and read.

Hope that helps you to get started.

 

[slimbride2b]

Hi to you both and thanks for your posts. Its amazing that I only joined last night, and already I feel 100 times more positive than I did yesterday. I will definately follow your advices and start a journal & am just about to register on fit-day. At the moment I am really excited and looking forward to being a new, happier me. Although, am still terrified!

Addiecakes - congrats to you on your engagement as well! It sounds like we're both going through the same thing, but I am positive that we will both be the beautiful brides we deserve to be. What sort of weight loss plan are you following? Is it working so far?

My plan is to simply (huh) cut down on my calorie intake and increase my activity levels. One thing that will help is cycling to and from work which I haven't been able to do since I broke my hand in October, and I have noticed an increase in my size since I've had to stop. I've tried "fad diets" like shakes, which have worked in the short term, but as soon as I stop the weight creeps back on plus more. So instead of a diet - I'm changing my lifestyle.

I wish you both all the success in the world. We can do this!

 

[Addiecakes]

Addiecakes - congrats to you on your engagement as well! It sounds like we're both going through the same thing, but I am positive that we will both be the beautiful brides we deserve to be. What sort of weight loss plan are you following? Is it working so far?

My plan is quiet similar to yours. I'm just logging my food to create a calorie deficit and adding in regular physical activity. I want to be quite active along the way in the future and have my body be able to do whatever I want it to. I've lost over 18lbs. in 7 weeks, it's definitely working!