FUPOS

M

melifarai

New member
For the past 6 years, I have been trying to get down to 150lbs. the closest I ever got to it was 152 and I was ecstatic.

I became overweight when I turned 14 years old. I was teased throughout my life about my glasses and now my weight was added on. I became immensely inteoverted and had serious social anxiety. I stayed indoors and declined all invotations and resons to venture anywhere. Soon, I began telling myself what everyone was telling me, "if they're calling you fat and ugly then it must be true." I sought comfort in food and books. I had one best friend and she too ridiculed me directly and indirectly because of my size and looks. I began to really hate myself by the time I was 16 years.

When i was 22 years old, I decided to try to lose a little weight. I weighed 192lbs and had a high BF%. In the year 2012, I lost a total of 40lbs and I was glad.

Then came a new job, new love interest and new baby. I got back down to 166lbs 2 months after having my son. I was on an emotional roller coaster and last time I weighed (about August/Sept), I was 172. I dont know how much I weigh now but I feel really fat and ugly.

I have been trying to get a grip on my eating. I eat a lot of junk and lately it has heightened because my weight and sorry excuse of a life has me in a deep depression. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Depression and I have been told I should be screened for Body Dysmorpic Disorder.

I just want to get down to 150 or even 155. I'm tired of being this FUPOS (ask if you want to know what this acronym stands for).

I am starting a new workout program today and will try to eat better tomorrow.
 
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I am going to guess FUPOS stands for fat ugly piece of shit. Which is something you are definitely not! I wish that you will attain your goals but most of all I wish that you will learn to love yourself along the way. You've been fighting a lot of hard battles for a long time and yet: you're not only still here but still fighting too. That's pretty impressive!
 
Hi, melifarai & welcome to the WLF forum.
If that was FUPOS stands for & that's how you feel about yourself I could almost cry for you. I agree with LaMa. You need to start learning to love yourself. It's probably one of the most important things you can do. Start right now. You have challenges, but you have risen to them before(40lbs in 2012). You have a child- congratulations! Being a mother is one heck of a rollercoaster. Being diagnosed with Bipolar does not need to define your life. (Our son has bipolar). Getting some cognitive therapy to help you cope with these challenges might be what you need. I got therapy when I lost a lot of weight, but still did not feel good about myself. I have learned the skills to help me when I feel depressed or relapse into self-criticism. I know I need to eat healthily & get outside & get fresh air & exercise. You can do this hon. Stop being so mean to yourself. You are lovely. Yes, you. I can tell already. You need to treat yourself as you would treat someone else that you really love. Once again, a big welcome! xoxo Cate
 
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