Frogged's Lily Pad

Originally Posted by silash


Hey Frogged



Sounds like you had a rough couple of days but keep your chin up!

I had a similar weekend last weekend where two days were basically just a write-off. The most important thing is to get back into your routine and it seems like you are doing it :)



About the anti Depressants it's kind of scary that you decided to go off them cold turkey if you have only been on them for a month it's not so bad but you really should discuss it with your doctor just to be sure and keep him updated on where you are at. I admire your decision to do with out the pills, it's the harder route for sure but I believe it is the better one. When I was much younger (a couple of years after my mom died) I was prescribed anti-depressants and I would fall asleep the second I got into a car (I wasn't driving yet luckily :)) and walked around in a daze most of the time so I know what you me about being zombie like.



You are a great guy with a really good support system here, it's also important to remember that support works both ways, you are always writing to, helping and encouraging other people you need to know when to accept support as well.



Today/tomorrow depending on which time zone you are in, is a sparkling brand new day and I hope that it is a really good one for you!
Click to expand...


Hi silash :)


I'm sorry to hear about your mother :( I lost my mom to cancer when I was 14 (she was only 33). I went to counseling and was prescribed anti-depressants for a time then as well. The counseling is something I don't really benefit much from. I just feel like the counselor is more there for the paycheck rather than for me. I know that's probably not always the case, but I've always felt like I'm just never that important enough for someone in that profession to genuinely care for in regards to my mental health. I mean, it's their job. They get paid for it. I don't deliver mail because I get a thrill out of putting junk inside little metal boxes, lol.


I've always had that feeling in my head ever since I was younger. It's like, why worry about me when you probably have your own problems and there's bigger issues going on in the world? I sit there and rattle on about my issues when I begin to think that they're probably either wondering what they'll have for dinner that night, or what the current score of their favorite sports team is. It's a bad way to think, I know.. but it's just how I am.


Anyway, I know on this forum it's sincere when someone posts since we're all in similar situations and are doing our best to fix what's broken in our lives.


I know tomorrow will be a new day (not sparkling probably since it's done nothing but rain here on the east coast, hehe), but I will try to keep my head up and continue on as best I can :)


Thank you for the kind words as always, silash :) I hope you're doing great too.




Originally Posted by jen_renee

Be careful going on and off meds like that. I can tell you from experience that it can be very awful. I'm notorious for going on and off my anxiety meds..... My doctor yells at me every time, but I don't learn..hahaha! Just be careful, ok? OK!
Click to expand...


Hehe, well, I don't think my doc would ever yell at me. We go back a ways and he and my mother were close. He was with our family a lot, especially during her treatments, so he does care about me probably more than the average patient. I was actually his first ever patient when he started his practice back in 1983. I was just born and had some kind of infection that nearly killed me. Luckily, he's a good doc and I had attentive family members, so I pulled through :)


I will be careful, even though I am feeling like absolute hell right now.


I've also decided to do something this week that I've only done one other time. I'm going to recalibrate my body a bit.


Basically, I believe at certain times in my regimen, I'm tip-toeing dangerously close to the 'starvation' mode threshold. I notice on occasion that whenever I eat something outside of my meal plan, regardless of the calorie content or size, my body seems to hoard it and I either have no loss, or I gain.


So I'm spending this week laxing on my calorie intake. I'm not going to count calories, I'm going to eat whenever I feel hungry (regardless if it's 10 minutes or 2 hours after my last meal), and I'm not going to focus on just eating healthy things. I will and have already eaten numerous bad items, including pizza, marshmellows, sugar-filled cereals, and chocolate bars.


I'm attempting not to 'binge' every day, but again, I'm not going to let it concern me. I'm fully expecting a gain this week, however drastic, it won't diminish my resolve. This is a life style change, not a diet, and I can't go through the rest of my life eating fiber bars and shakes as my only intake every day. I need to be allowed to have bad stuff sometimes without rocketing up 4-5 pounds the following morning.


It's a bit crazy to say this, but I've already gained 23 pounds of retention. So obviously, my body was not in a very good state prior to this. It's hoarding everything! All the calories, all the sodium, etc etc. I am drinking a lot of water to try and flush it out, and I still exercise on the treadmill - but I'm limiting my speed as I obviously feel a bit lethargic with this junk food. I did about 6 miles yesterday, but my highest speed running is 7mph atm.


I'm unofficially back in the 200's. I was 185.6 on Sunday morning, and now this Thursday morning, I weighed 207.8.


I think it may also have a bit to due with quitting my meds. I think the combination of that, plus the leisurely eating, has definitely played a bit of havoc internally with my biology. Mentally, I feel drained too. I feel tired and just.. blegh, in general. And the rain... rain, rain, rain. Dreary isn't a good enough word to use to describe what it's like outside right now, so I doubt that helps either with my mood.


Regardless, I have done this before, and it will take a few weeks to recover and get back to where I was, but I expected it and I am prepared for it.


I just hope this will pull me out of this 'starvation' area I've been slipping toward like it did last time. I also hope the meds will fully be out of my system here soon and then I plan to re-assess my meals. I'll still eat the fiber bars and shakes, but I need something more substantial I do believe.
 
I was taking anti-depression meds off and on for 3 years. In June, I went off of them. I felt fabulous for a few weeks, then I hit bottom. I finally evened out, though. I feel so much better doing it on my own. I feel like I have a brand new outlook, that helps my depression. I love life, and I take everything in stride now.


Good luck with going cold turkey. Mmmm....turkey....lunch time!


~Robyn
 
Originally Posted by imaninjadangit


I was taking anti-depression meds off and on for 3 years. In June, I went off of them. I felt fabulous for a few weeks, then I hit bottom. I finally evened out, though. I feel so much better doing it on my own. I feel like I have a brand new outlook, that helps my depression. I love life, and I take everything in stride now.



Good luck with going cold turkey. Mmmm....turkey....lunch time!



~Robyn
Click to expand...


Yeah, I have windows where I feel great (laughing, good mood), then suddenly, it's like blegh.


I'm glad you found an equilibrium, Robyn I hope to find one as well someday, but this week has just been ridiculous. I feel like I'm in a physical and emotional gauntlet.


I weighed myself today and I'm still hovering around the 205 mark, lol ;(


I was able to run to one of my videos at my usual speeds, but man oh man, I felt like hell afterward. My mouth was so dry and I had that tingling sensation along my arms and neck for a brief second after I slowed down. My legs felt like melted butter (they also look a little like butter haha), and my feet sometimes feel like someone is jamming a dagger into them sometimes.


Well, at least I don't think it'll get any worse. I'm back on my usual exercise routine, calorie intake, and I'm not eating anything unhealthy for a while. I'm even going to refrain from my usual Sunday cheat days until I get back to my real weight (185).


This has been an invaluable learning experience. I knew I would retain water weight, I just had no idea my body was capable of retaining SO much of it! Wow. Never again am I going to dance with the junk food devil like I did this week.


At one point, I stepped on the scale on Thursday and saw 220 pop up. Yeah, 35 pounds of retention! LOL


I wish I had a camera because I get the feeling some people may not believe me. I was wearing clothes at the time, so that might've added another 2-3 pounds, but still..


Expect a big gain this week on my chart and a huge loss the following because it's game time. No more screwing around.


This week is definitely one for the books!
 
sounds like a hectic week!!! Good work snapping back into things. That is always the hardest part - now you just need to flow with your routine and watch as you fly past those mile stones :)


Hope this coming week is a REALLY good one for you.


:hat: (I love anything that reminds me of Dr. Seuss and specifically the cat in the hat so I think that from now on I will always sign off with this guy :) )
 
I suppose I should update this as it's been a while.


It's been a rough couple of days, so I've been sort of avoiding posting here as I usually try to maintain an optimistic tone whenever I'm around. I haven't been feeling very.. 'up'.


I was 192 on Sunday, so I was able to knock off a little over 6 pounds of this retention weight I had accumulated, but I ate like crap afterward :\ I'm hovering around the 200s as of today, so I'm still holding on to about ~15 pounds of retention, which sucks. I've been following my diet somewhat well, but I have been snacking a little more than I should as I'm trying to create some sort of equilibrium with my diet. I've realized that as I get closer to maintenance mode, I can't go the rest of my life living on fiber bars and nutrition shakes - I have to allow myself the occasional ice cream cookie or pizza slice during the week without freaking out or falling into a pit of guilt.


I'm not sure how much of this gain has been attributed to quitting my SSRIs cold turkey, but it's probably not helping. My roommate is in the medical field and said it's most likely contributed to this gain, and that it may take another few weeks for my brain to return to normal. I was only on them for about a month.


My exercise has still been going pretty good. Although I felt like I was going to pass out a few times shortly after quitting my anti-depressants. A 7mph speed was like a simple jog before, but after quitting the pills, it felt like I was trying to do an olympic sprint after about 30 seconds. I got winded so quickly and just felt horrible throughout my usual routine.


My physical ability on the treadmill has improved much since then though - I'm hitting 9 - 12mph speeds without much trouble. My feet have been hurting though and I'm still not quite where I was with my durations, but that's probably partly due to carrying around so much excess weight. It's just been a real struggle getting this retention off :(


Anyway, hope everyone else who reads this little diary of mine is doing well :)
 
AI remember when I quit my anti-depressants two or so years ago. I doubt we were on the same one's, but when I did, I felt like hell for at least 2 weeks. I was dizzy, nauseous, and barely had any energy. It took some time, but eventually I started feeling better. I was glad to be off them (it started to feel as if I were on them simply to not feel the withdrawl symptoms. They didn't really help me with anything else). Naturally, the best way to get off the pills is by slowly lowering the dosage and weaning off the drug...but in my case, I had no family doctor, so I had no one to go to or talk to. I always went to a clinic to get a refill.

Anyway, give it time. You'll get back into your stride. You had one hell of a motivation to get where you are now, and things will get better if you keep trying :).
 
Ajust stopping by to check in Frogged.....I hope every thing evens out for you soon!! you are doing so well...keep it up!!
 
Originally Posted by Loch

I remember when I quit my anti-depressants two or so years ago. I doubt we were on the same one's, but when I did, I felt like hell for at least 2 weeks. I was dizzy, nauseous, and barely had any energy. It took some time, but eventually I started feeling better. I was glad to be off them (it started to feel as if I were on them simply to not feel the withdrawl symptoms. They didn't really help me with anything else). Naturally, the best way to get off the pills is by slowly lowering the dosage and weaning off the drug...but in my case, I had no family doctor, so I had no one to go to or talk to. I always went to a clinic to get a refill.

Anyway, give it time. You'll get back into your stride. You had one hell of a motivation to get where you are now, and things will get better if you keep trying .
Click to expand...


Hi Loch :)


I know exactly what you mean when you said you felt you were on them simply not to feel the withdrawal symptoms. I think maybe that's why I continued them after the third week. My doctor said that's usually how long it takes to feel something (if anything) and, well, aside from the fatigue in my strength, I only felt a strange numbness. Like a zombie.


I'm glad you were able to get off them :)



Originally Posted by tetemcg

just stopping by to check in Frogged.....I hope every thing evens out for you soon!! you are doing so well...keep it up!!
Click to expand...


Thanks for stopping by, tete :) I hope everything is going well for you too!


My system feels like it has evened out finally. I'd say I'm about 95% back to where I was before I started taking these meds.


I've so far managed to drop almost all of the retention weight I had accumulated during that awful week. I lost 11 pounds in the last 2 weeks, so I'm still roughly 2 pounds above where I was before that big gain I had when I quit my anti-depressants. My lowest was 185.6 before I put on the retention weight, which brought me almost back up to the 200's :\


I've increased my incline from 4 to 7, and I'm running at a typical 9-10 most times, with 11 and 12mph sprints mixed in. I always try to finish my treadmill routine strong, so I sprint at a 12 for about the last 30-45s. My feet still ache and hurt a little every so often, so I'll have to be careful with that. Those weird tingly feelings I had in my neck and arms after sprinting are gone, and I don't feel like I'm going to collapse after each sprint anymore :)


I've been doing 6 miles a day on the treadmill the last week or so. I'm exercising for roughly 70 minutes, but I split it into two separate 35 minute sessions so I don't risk injury to my feet. I usually do my first 35min in the early afternoon after lunch, and the final 35 minute session in the evening an hour or so after eating my last meal. I burn close to 1k according to the treadmill, but it's probably more like 600ish for my current height and weight.


I'm feeling so much better now physically. Never again am I going to fiddle with SSRIs - they just caused so many problems and it just wasn't worth it in my opinion.


Hopefully next week, I'll be under the 185 mark and closing in on the 200lb weight loss milestone! :biggrin:
 
AI'm so glad you lost all that retention weight :D. It's good to see you back on track. I can't wait to be able to run like that again, I remember when I was at 180lb I could run 11 min non-stop (around the gym at school). Now I can run maybe a block, if that. SO can't wait xD.
 
Originally Posted by Loch

I'm so glad you lost all that retention weight :biggrin:. It's good to see you back on track. I can't wait to be able to run like that again, I remember when I was at 180lb I could run 11 min non-stop (around the gym at school). Now I can run maybe a block, if that. SO can't wait xD.
Click to expand...



Thanks Loch! :p


Yeah, it feels so much better now. Even though I know it's not real and I know it will come off eventually, it's just so discouraging seeing bad numbers on the scale.


I know you'll get back to your old form again (and beyond!) in the near future :) Just keep at it and you'll be awesome! :D
 
ASome drama at home has finally started to alleviate itself.. thank god. There's still some involved with work, but it's out of my control right now. Hopefully it pans out and I don't lose any income :( It's a long story, so I won't go into it.

So, mentally I'm still a little drained, but feeling better :)

Exercise and diet is going well. I've been getting a LOT more sleep lately. My sleep schedule for this week has been going to bed around 9pm'ish and getting up at about 7. I've stopped eating anything after 5pm, so I'm a bit famished throughout the evening and when I wake up, but I'm not letting any sort of snacking get the better of me.

I've been managing to drop about 3-4 pounds of retention weight every day this week so far, so that's good :) I was 197ish on Tuesday, then 194 on Wednesday, and I was 191.8 this morning. Tomorrow, I should hopefully be in the 180's and well on my way to a good loss this week :)

I'm hoping to get under the 185 mark and be the lowest I've been in over a decade! My official number this past week was 187.4, so I just need to drop roughly 7 pounds between now and Sunday.

Fingers crossed :p
 
AIs that 7lb of retention? O.O

I miss being in the 180's. I remember when I was 16/17 I first noticed myself gaining weight when I went on the scale for the first time in ages, I had been 160 and the scale said 180. I was so depressed, and upset at myself. Now I miss that weight! I'm constantly striving to get back to that weight.

What was your goal weight again?

I like your new avatar ^^.
 
AUm, well I'd say about more than half of that is retention :)

I was 187.4, then after my typical Sunday cheat day, I was up a good amount. So now, I was 191.8 this morning, so at least 4.4 is retention I need to lose before I'm back to where I was, then another 2-3 pounds to be under 187 for a loss :)

If I focus, I should be fine :) There have been times when I've been up about 4 pounds before my weigh-in day on Sunday, and I could still skate by with a loss. It's just a matter of belting out some extra miles on the treadmill :)

You'll get back to that weight (and lower) in time, Loch :) It's not a race and it shouldn't be - it's your new life! :D A life you are seizing and deserve :)

lol! Thanks about my avatar :p I was screwing around with some greens and trying to make myself look like my favorite superhero, The Hulk (my inner geek is showing big time) :D

I love running to his movies on the treadmill :) Such rage and power!

edit: Oh, and my goal weight is 165 :)

Although once I hit that and have my surgery, I'll probably be in the 150's.

That won't be for a while though :)
 
AIron Man is so much better thank Hulk! Just saying ;). I think if I had a treadmill I'd run to all of Robert Downey Jr.'s movies, lol!

Did you make it to the 180's?

What surgery are you getting? I sometimes have a bad memory x.x.

I think ultimately I'd like to be 135-140 but I'm just shooting for 160 right now :).
 
ALOL! No way! :p

I love Iron Man, but Hulk would crush him like a can of soda :D

I'm still in the 180's as of this morning - 189 :) So I need to buckle down and do a couple miles now. I just got off from work a little while ago and ate dinner (veggies with some fish meat) :) Really good, low calories (about 500), but a bit high on sodium (close to 1k if I had to guess). The veggies were this asian medley combination I picked up from Giant the other day, so they had some seasoning.

The surgery I need to get is contour. It's for all the loose skin :( My belly and thigh area is just.. ugh. I hate looking at myself in the mirror and I'm super self-conscious about it.

Insurance wouldn't even cover this because it's considered 'cosmetic', so I have to start saving :(

All in good time though. It won't happen probably for another year, so after I hit my goal weight, I guess I'll just focus on strength training and see if I can somehow lessen the cost. I'll probably join a gym and go with my roommate and some other friends :)

Some of our friends are in good physical shape and are always at the gym, so we may join them here soon as my roommate could stand to drop some weight as well :) He's 6' 5'' and about 285 last I asked him.
 
AIt sucks when things like that are "cosmetic". When a person puts in hard work to lose weight, and become a healthy individual without the use of surgery or harmful ways, they should be given a break. I imagine it wouldn't even be covered here in Canada either. It's an unfortunate result of losing so much weight, it's scary, and it's sad that all that work means having to have loose skin, which you have to pay to have removed. It sucks :(.

Maybe going to a gym will help. Every time I tried to go to a gym with someone they usually bailed lol. It can be hard for people to commit. C'est le vie.

By the by, Iron Man would just fly in the air and laser beam the crap out of Hulk, he's so much faster =P.
 
AYeah it does :\

Ah well. Just the way the world works I guess. I'll find a way. I have to, because it'll mark the end of an old life and the beginning of my new one.

My friends often tell me 'You look fine! I don't know what you're so worried about. You look normal.'

Well, much like how emotions work, you can appear 'ok' on the outside, but on the inside, you could be falling apart. Same with body image after significant weight loss. When one grows up overweight/obese for most of their life, they become somewhat of a professional when it comes to finding certain clothes that assist in hiding unsightly flaws.

The clothes I wear make me appear average, but once they come off, it's a different story :\ Sorry if it's TMI, but it's just the way it is. Not pretty at all. It's like I'm a mutant (which wouldn't be so bad if I had super powers along with the fact, lol).

Seriously though, it's something that's going to prevent me from ever pursuing the things in life that are essential for happiness. Such as finding a girlfriend/wife and having a family. I just can't do that right now with the way I feel about myself. No way.

I mean, that's not to say situations haven't arose since I've lost weight that have come close to me meeting someone, but always in the back of my head is the way my body looks, then I pull back from the situation :(

Surgery isn't something I want to get done, it's something I have to get done.

Oh, and wrong again! Laser beams vs the Hulk? bahah! That's like shooting a BB gun at a freight train :p

My apologies for the following, but my nerd side is coming to the surface for a moment :D

--

That would just annoy the Hulk and make him angrier, thus making him stronger :) The angrier he gets, the stronger he gets. Plus, the hulk's strength has the potential to be infinite!

As taken from Wiki:

The Hulk possesses the potential for limitless physical strength depending directly on his emotional state, particularly his anger. This has been reflected in the repeated comment, "The madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets." After probing, the entity Beyonder once claimed that the Hulk's potential strength had "no finite element inside. "His durability, regeneration, and endurance also increase in proportion to his temper." Greg Pak described the Hulk shown during World War Hulk as having a level of physical power where "Hulk was stronger than any mortal — and most immortals — who ever walked the Earth."
Click to expand...

Iron Man (or any character) vs Hulk? The battle would be over before it even began! ;D
 
AI know how you feel. It's partly why I pushed my last boyfriend away. He may have thought I was beautiful, but it's an automatic thing sometimes. I know I won't be able to get close to anyone until I reach that point where I feel comfortable in my own skin and don't have to hide behind certain cloths or perfectly angled pictures.

It's not TMI ^^.

Okay, so Hulk is the epitome of a God, but I'm sure he has a weakness. They all do! Otherwise he's too perfect and every hero needs to have an imperfection. Ah, who are we kidding? They're on the same team, they wouldn't fight. Now, I'd love to see Hulk and Iron Man beat the crap out of Superman.

Haha my Marvel knowledge is limited as I didn't get into it like my brother did. I preferred to read Gen-13 and watch the old Spider-Man cartoon (seriously, how does he swing through a barren land with his web shot when there's no trees?!). That cartoon is priceless.
 
AExactly.

I just want to be comfortable in my own body after all this work, and I'm just not right now :(

As for the Hulk's weakness, he does have one: Bruce Banner.

Bruce is just a normal human, and if he dies, so does the Hulk. That's pretty much the only weakness Hulk has :)

As for Spidey web-shooting in a barren zone, maybe he makes the end part of his web into a parachute-type structure and kites himself along ;p haha

Superman is too easy to beat unfortunately :( Just throw a bit of Kryptonite at him and it's game over. I love Supes though as I grew up with those movies :) Superman I and II were something I watched soooo much as a kid that we had to re-buy VHS tapes every so often because the ribbon would get bent/snap from all the rewinding :p
 
Lost nothing, gained nothing.


Aside from the start week in 2009, this is the first time I ever put a 0 on my chart.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top