Finishing what I started!

L

luzdafuzz

New member
Hi all, for those of you who already know me I've been absent for about a month... It's been a really difficult month, not just food wise (HA, that just went completely out the window with everything else!!) It was really hard for me coming back to this town I hate so much, and back to my awful job. Since I'd just been home on holidays I realised just HOW much I missed it and everyone down there. Can't believe I'm stuck here for another 16 months!! Anyway, I've been in a pretty dark place, not really seeing the light but my mood is improving and I seem to be getting on with it as best I can... I've been incredibly tired, working mainly 50+ hours a week and starting as early as 3am-4am some days. One day kind of runs into another, actually I'm in the middle of doing 10 days straight and today was day 6. Had to go home after 6 hours though as my tendonitis started playing up in one of my quads... So at home icing and resting it right now so I can get through the next 4 days. Food has kind of turned to poo, I've been pretty much living on peanut butter, hot cross buns and frozen pizza. Sometimes I'll even throw some Vegemite in there if I feel like some variation... I'm surprised I haven't gained back all I lost, I was 67.1kg the other day and I was expecting to be up around 70 just because I feel huge and horrible at the moment!! TOM is coming too so that probably has a lot to do with it.


ANYHOO... I really want to lose this weight, even though I feel like a zombie and exercise is definitely out of the question right now until my knees are ok again. I lost weight before when I injured myself initially so I have NO REASON not to this time around!!! Baby steps at the moment though, I need all the sleep and rest I can get these days so I'll be switching my frozen pizzas to slightly healthier frozen meals, and going to have to get rid of the peanut butter and anything else that sets me off on a binge. So don't expect my food to be anywhere NEAR as healthy as it was before, though I shall try a lot harder when work calms down!!


Just for people who don't know me... the first part of my journey is here: http://weight-loss.fitness.com/t/50767/new-beginnings-new-journey I went from 73kgs (161lbs) in Aug 2011 to 63.5kgs (140lbs) on 13th Dec 2011. Since then I just got lazy, Christmas/ holidays happened, then we lost several people in my department at work... So now here I am again, 67.1kg (148lbs- YIKES!) I have a goal, would love to be at my weight goal by the 20th July- 58kgs (128lbs). Going home again for a week, then there's a race day here that I plan on dolling up for and would love to look my best! Fitday says I need a deficit of 689cals every day to get there.


I'm 24, 5'7 (169cms)... Don't think there's anything else to share at the moment!! Going to catch up on everyones diaries I haven't seen for ages!!
 
Plan for tomorrow:

B: 3 thin slices of wholemeal 4 seed toast with butter and vegemite

S: 30g raw dark chocolate

L: Sandwich on 4 seed bread with chicken in mayo and sweetcorn (tinned stuff)

S: Coconut creme pie Larabar

2nd L: (After work) 2 pieces toast with vegemite and butter

D: Frozen meal


Total calories: 1837 Calorie Deficit: 757 (If I work till 1pm- I'm definitely going to be working later though so I'd say this number is going to be a lot bigger)


Starting work at 5am tomorrow, rostered to finish at 1pm but usually finishing between 2pm-5pm most days so my days end up being pretty long.


Probably worth mentioning too, I don't normally eat that much bread... Tomorrow is shopping day, there's nothing left in the house lol.
 
AYay Lucy! I'm so glad to see you're back! When you didn't post I was worried about you and Wade, glad to see everything is ok on that front :). I have had a lot of trouble posting too because of work and being in an enormous funk over stuff going on with my education - so I can understand where you're coming from. Being in a mood like that makes it hard to keep our goals in sight. I'm so happy you're feeling recommitted, I know nothing can stop you, you're so strong!! :)
 
Thanks for dropping by Sparked!! Wade is still going ok, same as he was before. He's on holidays back home at the moment, lucky thing!! He's back Sunday.


Had a good day today, finished work at 2pm and finished the day with a 886cal deficit.


Plan for tomorrow:

B: 3 thin slices of wholemeal 4 seed toast with butter and vegemite

S: 30g raw dark chocolate

L: Sandwich on 4 seed bread with chicken in mayo and sweetcorn (tinned stuff)

S: Peanut butter cookie Larabar

2nd L: Chicken flavoured rice cup

D: Frozen meal


Total calories: 1739 Calorie Deficit: 855 (Same deal as before, it'll be a bigger deficit if I work passed 1pm)
 
Luuuuuuuuuuucy, its been forever. Im really bad at checking how everyone is getting on at the mo, completely bogged down with college work!!




So sorry to hear you had such a bad month, hopefully things are looking up abit more now.



Your cals look really good, looks like your back into the swing of thiiiiiings:) well done you!!xx
 
I'll be honest, this week has been a giant free for all with all kinds of food I absolutely should NOT be eating. And in huge quantities too!!! It's been an incrediblly stressful and tiring week... ended up working 55 hours (starting at 4am the last 2 mornings!), went in for a few hours yesterday morning on one of my days off as we have a new lady and not to be mean but... she causes so much more work than she actually does. And she won't even be able to do half the things in our department as she is so short and can't reach the top shelves, and her English is terrible so we have to explain a simple task 3-4 times before she actually understands us... and then she is so incredibly slow in doing it. It's doing all our heads in as we really need HELP in there and she's making it so much harder!!! Plus it's Easter week and one of the girls is on holidays for a week and the other has hols the week after, and they overlap for 4 days... so I'm going to be alone with the new girl Easter Sun-Wed. I'm psyching myself up as I'm fairly certain they'll be 12 hour days... Arrrghghghgh. I wish I wasn't living in the middle of nowhere so it didn't take MONTHS for a freakin new job to come along!! Had the regional manager come on Fri too and he absolutely hated the store, hated every department, told my husband and the other assistant store manager that the department managers were lazy because they were both lazy (Uhm, and both of them plus the grocery manager all pulled a 19 hour shift the day before to get the store looking half decent) so he's been miserable all weekend, and he hurt his back on Sun. Oh, and I think Wade is leaving soon... he was on holidays back home but now he's met someone... I told him there's no way we'd stand in his way, but it's going to be sad to see him go. So he's in the process of finding a job. Sigh. Life up here just keeps getting worse. Not to mention how completely exhausted I am, because my days off the week before were at the start of the week and I missed my day off in the middle, I ended up working 11 days straight. Truly that place is fucked.


I actually just worked it out on fitday, my calories for this week are currently 5300cals OVER maintenance... so even if I have 2 1000cal deficits the next 2 days before weigh in, I've gained half a kg this week. Awesome. I'm actually thinking of adjusting my goal for when we go on holidays, I was around 64-65kgs last time I went home so I was thinking if I aim for 62kgs by then it's still smaller than the last time I went home, plus it takes some pressure off. I did a food order last week too, hopefully will get it in the next few days... It's like health food bars and stuff I normally get but a few different ones and bigger ones that I can eat for brekki so I don't have to make toast at 4.30am before work. Trying to make everything as simple as possible for me so I have no excuses... Really have to get hubby to stop stocking the pantry and freezer with junk food, if it's not there I don't eat it but it seems to be there in abundance recently!!!


Sorry about my rant, it's just been a long week. Got to start getting back in the habit of writing in here!!
 
Todays intake:

B: 2 thin slices of wholemeal 4 seed toast with white choc peanut butter

S: 30g raw dark chocolate

L: Sandwich on 4 seed bread with chicken

S: Coconut creme pie Larabar

D: A Philippino chicken and rice dish (the new lady at work made us all lunch lol, it was tasty!!)


Total calories: 1745 (just guessing with the dinner) Calorie Deficit: 915


Not such a long day today, worked 5am- 1:45pm, starting work at 4am tomorrow as we are going to have SO many hot cross buns to pack after I've sliced all the bread!! Managed to go a day without coke zero too, was getting a bit addicted!!


Plan for tomorrow:

B: Cooked oats with a banana, coconut butter and unsweetened cocoa powder

S: 6 small crackers with 100g cottage cheese

L: Sandwich on 4 seed bread with chicken

S: Coconut creme pie Larabar

2nd L: (After work) 2 pieces toast with vegemite and butter

D: Frozen meal


Total calories: 1916 Calorie Deficit: 677 (If I work till 1pm)
 
Argh. Ended up working 4am-4pm... and have to start at 2am tomorrow, so I'll be up at 1 getting ready!!! I don't see ANY way I'll be home by 2pm tomorrow, but doing tomorrows food I planned for a 12 hour day... Kinda left my deficit in the middle though, so if I work more or less I won't be over/under. Did just grab whatever I could to get me through today, but somehow managed to have a 700 cal deficit so happy with that!!


Plan for tomorrow:

B: 2 slices wholemeal 4 seed bread with white choc peanut butter

S: Large tub of Greek yogurt with blueberries (says it's a 2 serve tub)

L: Sandwich on 4 seed bread with chicken in sweetcorn and mayo with spinach

2nd L: Sandwich on 4 seed bread with chicken in a tandoori sauce with spinach

S: Choc chip brownie Larabar

S: Large skinny flat white coffee

D: Frozen meal, whole bottle of light champagne


Total calories: 2174 Calorie Deficit: 684 (If I work till 2am-2pm, if today is anything to go by though I'll be there till 4pm again!)


Legs are pretty fucked today, icing my quads now but they are really swollen and they were so stiff standing on them all day! Also TOM came today so I feel so much more tired than I would normally. Have to try to go to sleep soon, got to get to bed by 5pm if I want 8 hours!!
 
Ok, let me get this straight. You are working 12 hour days, waking up at seriously ungodly hours, having to deal with incompetent co-workers, on your period, and STILL eating well and posting??? That's amazing!!!


Hope things lighten up for you soon, that is a seriously grueling schedule, so in awe right now of how you are powering through!
 
Hey Sparked... Mentally I may be there, but physically my body can't handle it... went into work at 2am and had to leave by 6.30, my tendonitis has fully flared up and when I left I was hobbling as much as when I first injured myself. I had a cry in the car on the way home, I just feel so hopeless and it's the busiest retail day of the year, not to mention for the bakehouse... and I'm letting everyone down. And now I'm confined to a bed pretty much, I'm hoping today and tomorrow will be enough so I can work Saturday. Arrrhh.


Food adjusted today since I only worked 4.5hours instead of 12, so eating everything I took with me to work but no wine and no frozen meal for dinner...it'll give me around a 700cal deficit.
 
Let my emotions get the best of me today and pretty much ate out the entire contents of my pantry... However since I just had 2 really good days, it kind of balaces out (exactly, strange enough) so this week my total is 0 so far lol, no loss no gain. Which means if I fight hard enough I can still have a pretty good week. Just got angry and upset and couldn't help myself, and not to mention I'm so tired I'm hardly functioning right now... which made my care-factor a big zero! Going to lift my game the rest of the week, I promise!


Got my new supply of bars n stuff today, so that'll make breakfast and work snacks a lot easier for me. 10 minutes of extra sleep every day will go a long way! If anyone is interested in the bars I eat every day, I set up a review page: http://www.iherb.com/mypage/luzdafuzz I'm not advertising or anything, just reviewing the stuff I buy and consume on pretty much a daily basis!


On another note... all that extra weight I've gained has gone straight onto my boobs!!! I had to go to the post office this arvo and stuck on trackies and an old work out shirt- I looked pornographic! It was ridiculous!!!!!! Ended up throwing on an over-sized roller derby t-shirt, lol. Came up a bit higher and was a little less fitted in that area, plus it was black... Got to get this weight off again!
 
AHey you :)
I haven't had chace to read thru your new diary but i will as soon as i can. I was just about to when i got the 'you aint got the job' phone call the other day. I aim to catch up tomorrow :)

Hope all is well
 
Hey Kate!! I'm about to catch up on your diary, sorry you didn't get the job... I'm sure you'll find one that is right for you!!


Agfhfhghighwh.... I'm home again after working for less than 5 hours... 3 days off wasn't enough for my legs, now they are worse than they were on Thurs!!! I told my manager I'm not comfortable working again until I've seen a doctor, which won't be till tomorrow or Wed (Wed is more likely) cuz today is a public holiday. Really don't want to go back to the docs here, they are so completely hopeless and uncaring! Plus there's no one up here that specialises in tendon/ soft tissue injuries so honestly have no idea what's going to happen. Definitely getting physio this time around as I really don't want to go through all this a third time!!! Pretty sure any doc I see though is going to tell me to take a few weeks off work... which is shit, as being a casual I won't get paid!! At least I had the sense to get health insurance after last time!!!


So I'm at home feelin sorry for myself. Had several bad days this week and several good ones, going to end up pretty much even calories if I'm good today and tomorrow. Actually feeling pretty motivated again for the first time in a long time, cooked bulk healthy dinner for the week yesterday instead of having frozen meals. Have a rent inspection on Fri... Not much else to report really!!
 
AHeya Crazy cat lady :)

I'm so sorry i haven't managed to find the time to catch up with your diary....I'm gonna do it now. I'm gonna start at the beginning and comment as i go along.

First of all, well done for coming back. I really missed you. Getting back on track after a month off (especially when life is pretty shit :( ) is a biggy, well done sweetie :)

Aww sweetie. You really do have to put up with some crap don't you. Sending you lots of love and hugs and i hope you find a new job real soon (i could do with one of them too lol) It's nice that wade has met someone and i know you will miss him but think on the positive side, it will be just you and your lovely hubby together again and your little furry babies (oooooh, how are the kittens getting on??)

Don't say sorry for you rant. That is what your diary is for hun. I find it really helps me feel better if i have a good rant on here. It kinda feels like taking a big breath and moving on sort of thing.

I'm sorry your legs are playing up again, no wonder with the hours you have to put in at work. Will work calm down at all soon?

It really does sound like you need a few weeks off to just recover from your intense workload, let alone your legs!!!! Hope you feel better soon my lovely :grouphug: :grouphug:
 
Hey Kate!! Yea it looks like I'm homebound for a while whether I want to be or not. Thanks for your words, they mean a lot!!


I woke up actually motivated for what seemed like the first time in FOREVER, actually braved the scales and everything (which was terrifying for me considering how badly I've been eating in the fortnight since I last weighed in) Was 67.6kg. Which I felt pretty ok about considering I was fully expecting a number 7 in front of the weight, so to be several kgs below made me give a big sigh of relief. Um totally random- I weigh almost exactly what I weighed in the last time I was stuck at home and injured. Looking back on my old diary, I hurt myself the week of our wedding anniversary before we went away for the weekend... and the day we left I weighed 67.8. So weird!!! I still managed to lose 4kgs from there, so I can absolutely lose that and more from now!!


I haven't imagined my boobs being ginormous either- when I started this weighing in at 73kgs, my bust measurement was 103... I weigh almost 6kgs less than that now, and my freakin bust measurement is 100!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhoo, since I'm being all fully in and everything, here are all my measurements...


Weight- 67.6kgs/ 149lbs

BMI- 23.7

Bust- 100cms/ 39.3inches

Waist- 78cms/ 30.7inches

Hips- 97cms/ 38.2inches

Thighs (thickest part at the very top under buttocks)- 61cms/ 24inches

Arms (thickest part at the very top under armpits)- 32cms/ 12.6inches

BF%- 31.9% (ouch)

Current clothing size- AUS size 10/ bra 10F/32F


Actually surprised all of my clothes still fit, I feel incredibly huge but pretty sure it's just because of my boobs, haha! I'm going to take some updated photos a bit later too.


ANYHOO... Goal for this month is 65.5kg!


Edited to add a photo I took today...
 
Eaten ok today, almost made the whole deficit I needed!


Todays intake

B- Double choc Probar

S- Cinnamon raisin organic food bar
L- Blueberry Greek yogurt

S- Cinnamon roll Quest bar

D- Chicken breast slow cooked in lemon and herb Nando's sauce, whole bottle of light champagne (<-- me feeling sorry for myself)


Total cals: 1742 Total Deficit: 521 (I only need 579 every day, so I'll make sure it's bigger tomorrow)


Yea so today was feeling extra sorry for myself... turns out my right wrist is pretty screwed too, don't know how I didn't notice it before. It didn't really affect me until today, it's because I've been on the slicer at work every day- sure it bothered me sometimes at work, but then I'd get in the groove and wouldn't even notice it.... I got it in a bit of a weird angle patting one of my many cats and now it's fully puffed up and feels really bruised. Doesn't look it yet though, just has a white spot where it hurts. I was freakin over it so smashed a whole bottle of wine, feeling pretty tipsy now too. Woooo.


In other news, I found a dress I really love and want to wear to the cup day in August!! They only had it in a small though (my normal size according to Aussie sizes, but this is an american website and their small is equivalent to an Aus/UK 8 or a US 4-6 I guess) so a LOT smaller than I am right now... but I kinda thought what the hell, and bought it. So... I have 4 months to shrink and fit into it! And if I don't make it in time, I'll have it to wear out to dinner for our anniversary in Oct (when I absolutely SHOULD be at my goal weight) So yea. Here it is if you're interested, I ordered a really cute headband/fascinator to wear with it too! http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/age-of-aquarium-dress So that's kinda exciting, it'd be really REALLY awesome if I fit into it in time!!
 
AHeya sweetie :)

OMG!!!!! Check you out!!!!!! You're tiny....with whopping great big boobs lol :smilielol5: I told Mark that you were complaining that your little weight gain had gone straight to your boobs and he laughed. He just doesn't understand why you dont like that. I reckon you hubby doesn't mind lol

Your photo is lovely, you have such a beautiful shape. I am so jealous, especially of your boobs. Mine are just totally bloody awful and i am not over reacting!!!!! They are wrinkly, floppy spaniel ears!!!! :smilielol5:

Sorry your body is falling apart, you really do need to take some time out don't you.

And finally that dress is just bloody stunning and will look amazing on you!!!!!
 
Haha thanks for the comments guys, but I feel SO far away from where I was its unbelievable. Blah. I was so much smaller a few months ago!! Planning to get there again pretty soon though, so just focussing on that! Haha and Kate, you're welcome to my boobs... they are more trouble than they're worth. And a bloody pain in the bum!!


Food plan for today

B- Peanut butter choc chip Probar

S- Cinnamon roll quest bar
L- Smoothie with a frozen banana, 1 cup almond milk, scoop of Amazing grass choc powder, and a huge handful of spinach

S- Homemade fresh juice with a few sticks of celery (and their greens), a couple of carrots, an apple and an orange

D- Frozen meal (have a few to get rid of!


Total cals: 1334 Total Deficit: 797
 
Lucy! :biggrin:


New diary!!


Hey, so just reading up on your progress and I'm so sorry for the rough times you were having initially. You're a hard worker, no doubt about it! It sounds like you're on your way to getting back on track to a much smoother routine with your healthy living tho :)


Hope Wade is doing well and your new pictures are BEAUTIFUL!! Wow! You look incredible! :hurray:


That dress you want to wear to the cup is gorgeous, and I have no doubt you'd look angelic in it! Rock it! Maybe post pics, too? :biggrin:


I hope you're feeling better physically! Just hang in there :) I also can relate to the feeling of being so far away from where I was just a short while ago, but as long as we continue on and utilize the awesome support from these forums, we'll get there! :)


You're such an amazing inspiration, Lucy! I really look forward to all your new updates in this new diary! :hurray:
 
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