Natsky
New member
Hello everyone,
My name is Natalie. I had lost fifty pounds and now am Back to 283 pounds. There and about. Havent weighed for a couple days. I find it easier to not weigh everyday. When I do it everyday I get depressed even though I may only be a few oz higher. It could even be water weight and I beat myself up. ugh.
I am back, after a long time away, almost a year. I just wasnt feeling good about myself. And I still really dont. Being this big, I feel like its my death sentence. I figure I will probably die before everyone in my family, unless of course I am able to take some semblance of control and get my life, meaning all aspects of life, including my heath in order.
I started getting bigger when I started taking meds for my arthritis. I had Juvenile R. Arthritis. It was no fun. I became somewhat crippled, peeps even had to help me drink, because my jaw would get stuck. It was a bad time. But they put me on a steroid, and after a few months I was 16 with 175 pounds on, and of course my step father would say, if you just lose a little more weight, the boys will be chasing you.
I have a wonderful man who walks with me. I dont walk far, I wish I had the courage to walk for an hour. I get scarred of what other peeps will say about me on the street. I guess I am letting this fear rule my life. I shouldnt pay attention to the cruelty of words. I shouldnt let words kill my ability to live a normal life. I know.
Anyway I have made a new walking friend, and we are walking in a park tomorrow. And I hope its more a beginning to the kick off to getting smaller. Because like so many have said on here, I want to look good naked, but especially I want to live a long life, full of sorrow and joy, but not sorrow because of my body weight, or my under arm fat, ect. I have gained a lot of weight. But I am now losing it, but now I need to step it up. and I hope to gain friendships here and meet peeps who have a little trouble the way I do, and share our stories and give each other support.
thanks
Natalie
My name is Natalie. I had lost fifty pounds and now am Back to 283 pounds. There and about. Havent weighed for a couple days. I find it easier to not weigh everyday. When I do it everyday I get depressed even though I may only be a few oz higher. It could even be water weight and I beat myself up. ugh.
I am back, after a long time away, almost a year. I just wasnt feeling good about myself. And I still really dont. Being this big, I feel like its my death sentence. I figure I will probably die before everyone in my family, unless of course I am able to take some semblance of control and get my life, meaning all aspects of life, including my heath in order.
I started getting bigger when I started taking meds for my arthritis. I had Juvenile R. Arthritis. It was no fun. I became somewhat crippled, peeps even had to help me drink, because my jaw would get stuck. It was a bad time. But they put me on a steroid, and after a few months I was 16 with 175 pounds on, and of course my step father would say, if you just lose a little more weight, the boys will be chasing you.
I have a wonderful man who walks with me. I dont walk far, I wish I had the courage to walk for an hour. I get scarred of what other peeps will say about me on the street. I guess I am letting this fear rule my life. I shouldnt pay attention to the cruelty of words. I shouldnt let words kill my ability to live a normal life. I know.
Anyway I have made a new walking friend, and we are walking in a park tomorrow. And I hope its more a beginning to the kick off to getting smaller. Because like so many have said on here, I want to look good naked, but especially I want to live a long life, full of sorrow and joy, but not sorrow because of my body weight, or my under arm fat, ect. I have gained a lot of weight. But I am now losing it, but now I need to step it up. and I hope to gain friendships here and meet peeps who have a little trouble the way I do, and share our stories and give each other support.
thanks
Natalie
