fear of success

S

SlimeQSlimeDog

0
Hi everyone,

Does anyone have any advice on pushing through fear?
I know what I need to do, I've even started a weightloss program many a time. The problem is that as soon as I'm noticing results I freak out and quit.
I know that it is a self esteem issue, I really don't want to bring any attention to myself. Does exercise really boost one's confidence?

Does anyone have a similar experience? How long did it take for this fear to become nothing to you? (i'm a woman by the way)

Any advice is much appreciated!
Thanks
 
I don't know a whole lot about weight loss, but it sounds like there might be more deep issues to deal with than just low self esteem.

I knew one girl who freaked out once she lost weight because guys started noticing her more. She didn't realize until she went to a therapist that she had gained the weight in first place as a reaction to being molested.

Now I'm not saying that you were molested, but you have to fix the way you feel about yourself before you can truly commit to getting yourself healthy.
 
I can relate. I work in an area where there are way more males than girls. My weight loss has started to become obvious and i hate it when people notice. Hence I yoyo a lot because the feeling i get when the boys at work are looking at me doesnt boost me up but bring me down and i forget why im doing it.

I think that is why it is so important to put down in writing at the beginning exactly why you are doing this. And in the end it shouldnt be for any reason other than your own satisfaction.

I dont think it is a big deal though. However maybe if you do understand why you are feeling that way then you might get over it quicker. Then again it might just be something outside of your comfort zone.
 
There's another thread that has you list out at least 10 things to finish the sentence:

I don't want to lose weight because...

And there are a lot of reasons you can find. My suggestion is to write them all out and then face them. Then you can really think about how they compare to all the reason you do want to lose weight.

Here are some example reasons...

... because I don't want to stand out and be noticed.
... because I have an identity as 'the happy fat girl' and I don't know who I'd be without that.
... because people really might judge me on who I am instead of how I look, and what if they still find me wanting?
... because it's easier to just keep things the same.

Then you counter that with:
... because I want to be healthy, mobile and not making frequent visits to the hospital when I get older.
... because I want to be able to keep up with my friends/children/grandchildren.
... because I want to go on vacation and feel exhilarated instead of exhausted.
... because I want to wear that drop dead sexy outfit I saw and feel like a million bucks.
... because I'm all out of bubblegum ;)

I don't know that being skinnier gave me self confidence, but becoming more fit did. It's very empowering to go to the gym and life 'real weights' or keep up on the treadmill with my husband or know that I can handle these things.

Also, just working up the guts to go to the gym by myself, do some of these workouts and realize that it didn't really matter what anyone else thought about what I was doing, I was just going to go in there and do it... and finding out that I didn't burst into flame or get pointed at and laughed at... also a boost to confidence :D In fact I find that while there are still some jerks at the gym, for the most part when people see someone who doesn't look fit there the reaction is generally "Good for them for taking the first steps!"
 
Thanks for the replies.

CandoATU - I also work in an area that's mostly guys, the extra attention I get when losing weight makes me uncomfortable. Have you had any success with blocking that out? geez I'm the same person, makes me think how shallow people can be. A friend of mine says I should take it as a compliment, but she also enjoys male attention!:rolleyes:

Jeanette401 - that's a really good way to think about it: being fit instead of just losing weight. I guess I'll just have to push through and try not to think about it.

CryingRaven - no I wasn't molested, I have been dealing with social anxiety for quite a few years. Jeanette401's advice with the list of 'bad/irrational' statements countered with rational statements is part of CBT therapy. I've been hoping to keep with a exercise program to gain confidence to beat s.a, but then I panic all over again.

I appreciate the advice, I guess all I can do is grin and bear it.
 
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