Excuse me while i ramble.

meganwithaT

meganwithaT

New member
Greetings fellow earthlings.... nah just joking i'm completely sane... almost.

I'll start by saying that my dearest mother has a friend that can be a little bit...blunt. Every time i see her there's comments of "we should diet together" , "oh you would look so much prettier if you lost some weight", "you're getting big, you should exercise more" BLAH BLAH BLAH. Truthfully i can't stand the woman and the only reason i tolerate her is because her husband and kids are really nice people. Anyway, i bumped into her on the street one day last week and she made more not so subtle comments, nothing that was particularly shocking or different from the usual but i finally snapped after talking to her and went home and started googling and stumbled across this little gem which is giving me hope that i can do this too. I have tried and failed many times in the past but now i'm serious and i'm focused and i really think i can do this.

About me, i'm in my late teens, around 5'9" and i would guesstimate 300lbs (i don't own scales but they will be bought today). I've been unhappy with my body for a very long time, i used to be slim and fit but i started gaining a little bit of weight then there was a life changing year where everything just went wrong and i gained so much weight and i kept on gaining and gaining and it snowballed. I started eating better than i was (still not great to be completely honest) but it was better than before and nothing happened. I know i didn't change my eating habits enough for it to matter but i still wanted something, ANYTHING to happen. I've learned from this and i'm prepared to change my life. Eat better, exercise more, pretty much start over, create a new me.

My biggest problem is not knowing what to eat. I wouldn't say i was a fussy eater but there are some foods which i just don't like i.e fish, i'm not a huge fan of fish, maybe i just haven't eaten the right one or it hasn't been prepared in a way i like but so far fish is a no go. I tried to create some sort of meal plan but i don't know if i'm eating enough or if it's too much, if it's balanced... bottom line is that i'm clueless and making it up as i go along.

Exercise... i pretty much don't, sure i'll go for walks but nothing drastic and i know this is something i have to change. I'm going to walk more and hopefully progress to jogging, i just need to motivate myself to do it.

So today is day one in my journey towards a new me.

Once i've weighed myself i'll let you know and if i can build up the courage i may post some pictures... eventually.

It seems daunting now but i'm going to do this... wish me luck.
 
Hey Megan and welcome to the forum :D I'm Jay and I hope you will find, as I have, the people here are really supportive.

Can I just say, your first diary post has such much positivity in it - well done for taking a step back and deciding to make the choice to change things...you are serious and focused and you REALLY think you can do this - them's fighting words!!!

Ok, so food wise. Strip it back to the basics. I.e. dinner - veggies are good...steam em, roast em, boil em, even griddle em without any oil....salad is good (no or low cal dressing though!)...chicken or turkey - lean breast meat..even a lean steak every now and then... As for fish, if you don't like it, you don't like it! But if you are more of a meat eater, you might enjoy trying a tuna or swordfish steak - they are meatier and less overtly fishy in their taste. You can grill them or dry griddle them too. Lunch - I got somewhere just by cutting back on the bread here and having meat with salad - cutting out the two slices of bread is minus like 200 cals already.

Snacks....simple...massively reduce chocolate/crisps/chips/sweets/pastries...and you are half of the way there. Most of the time keeping a food log for your first week will soon make you realise where the phantom calories are coming from and force yourself to be honest about all the little things that you munch on the way that add up. For example, I was drinking glass after glass of orange juice telling myself that it was healthy...yeah one glass is healthy not 500 calories worth!!

So, buy a scale, get a ticker from tickerfactory.com to stick in your signature here - really motivating to see it moving(!!), post what you are eating (people will help out with suggestions on food if you ask) and go for walks that gradually get faster or longer or that you can jog for 30 secs every now and again or more...or more often...and soon you'll be up and running (literally!!!).

Good luck - I KNOW you can do it and once you get going there will be no stopping you!
 
So the scales were bought yesterday... since when did scales come with a HUGE instruction manual?... anyway after i dealt with that, i hopped on and 303 is the magic number. I have my starting point. It's around what i was thinking so it's not a shock but i know i need to do something about it, my goal for the moment is 168lbs because that would put me into the "ideal" BMI bracket. I never usually follow BMI, etc but i didn't have a goal in mind so i was inspired by that and i like working with round numbers so i know i'm aiming to lose 135lbs...sounds like a lot now but hopefully it'll start going down soon enough.

Yesterday - Day 1

I felt hopeful for the majority of the day because i knew that i was going to do this and it wouldn't be a half-hearted attempt like i've done in the past. Everything went pretty well and i started to plan out a few meals, they're still a work in progress but i'm getting there. Also like i said i bought my scales so i'm officially up and running (although right now it's more of a walk but eventually...) and i can keep track of my weight. The plan is to weigh once a week but i could change my mind. We'll see.

Today - Day 2

So i maybe... kinda... definitely slept in... oops. That sorta ruined my breakfast plans because after i showered i had roughly 6 minutes to get out of the house so instead of my original plan i whipped up a smoothie (banana, strawberry and natural yogurt) and went to work. Work was...dull but i like my co-workers so time passed by quicker.

Then I went grocery shopping with my brother but after around 5 minutes i had to abandon him and get my own basket because most of what he was picking up was definitely not going to help me. So i filled my basket up with lots of good things and no chocolate or sweets and as soon as we got home i emptied out a cupboard in the kitchen and a shelf in the fridge put all my stuff away then promptly threatened everyone in my house that if they even looked at my cupboard/shelf i would... do something mean (yeah, i could've done better but i was on the spot and threats don't come easy to me). Once i was done with my terrifying threats i cooked my dinner and it was healthy and good and fun to make surprisingly. I'm still not too sure on what to eat but hopefully through time i'll work it out.

Anyway i'll sum up my day now:

Brunch - Smoothie (banana, strawberry and natural yogurt)
Snack - An apple and a banana
Dinner - Chicken breast with some sweet potato wedges and mixed veggies
Drinks - Water, water and more water

So far so good... lets just hope i can keep doing it.
 
So today was a little bit messed up, i had no idea what to eat when i woke up so i pretty much didn't, instead i started chopping up some vegetables to make soup for my lunch, i managed to cut myself because i'm awesome like that, thankfully i'll live. Back to the point, i wasn't really feeling like eating and i wasn't hungry so i didn't, then lunchtime came and the soup smelled good so i had a bowl of that with a rye crispbread (that's what it says on the packet anyway) i got full really fast so i stopped eating and carried on with my day.

A few of us randomly decided to go watch Inception, this was my first hurdle i had to overcome, while everyone else bought popcorn, chocolate and lots of sweets to have during it i somehow managed to resist and had a huuuuuge bottle of water and an apple instead. Of course this led to me desperately needed the toilet during the movie but if you've seen it you'll know that if you left even just for a minute you would probably get seriously confused, so i waited...by the time it ended i no longer cared about anything that happened in the movie, i just speed walked to the nearest toilet. PHEW.

Hmm... can't remember much about the day, i made burgers for dinner, ate some salad, nothing that interesting really.

Anyway i'll sum:
Soup - Homemade lentil and vegetable with a "rye crispbread"
An apple
Homemade burger - made with lean mince, half a chopped up onion and some wholemeal breadcrumbs, topped with some cottage cheese (which i've discovered i'm not a big fan of)
Salad - mixed leaves
Drinks - once again a lot of water.

Tomorrow will be another hurdle because i'm supposed to be going to the movies AGAIN (Toy Story 3 this time, EXCITED) then going out with a few of my friends and alcohol=calories but i'm not really a drinker anyway so i think i'll manage to get away with just drinking water, i'll just talk a little louder and nobody will notice...hopefully.

I'll update again tomorrow so we'll see what happens.
 
Thanks AnaNoel. :)

I survived day 3!

I had a really great day today surprisingly, generally happy all day. Woke up early for once but i wasn't really feeling hungry so i just had 2 "rye crispbreads" (i'm going to "" that every time because i still think its weird) topped with some extra low fat soft cream cheese stuff and i had a banana which filled me up nicely.

My aunt called to see if i could help her set up her new TV, of course i said yes so i walked to hers and was faced with a GIGANTIC TV, i didn't even say hi before i picked up her phone and called my brother to come help. So he arrived and we set it up and let me tell ya, i had an unexpected workout, heavy lifting and general hard work led to aching arms and legs afterwards... i was oddly pleased with my accidental exercise.

Another movie outing, Toy Story 3 (emotional roller-coaster but still awesome) and i managed to avoid all evil substances again (sounds like i'm talking about drugs but i'm not just regular ole sugar, fat and general bad-ness) and once again i had an apple and a big bottle of water.

Made my lunch (chicken in a wholemeal pitta and lots of salad leafyness) then tidied my room.

I almost forgot...I WORKED OUT TODAY, properly worked out! The past few days i've just been walking a lot but today i decided to up it a little. I did 30 minutes cardio then did a boxing type of exercise that worked on my arms and legs along with some floor exercises. I was practically dead by the end but it was a start. I can't believe i actually did it.

Happy. Happy. Happy. Tired but happy.

Also my friends wanted to go out tonight and i avoided every drop of alcohol and just had water all night so i saved myself a lot of wasted calories and money... did i mention that i was happy. :)

Summary:
B-2 "rye crispbreads", a little extra low fat soft cream cheese and a banana
S-An apple
L-A chicken breast in a wholemeal pitta with leaves
S- 30g reduced fat WW mature cheese
D- Wholewheat pasta with lean mince in a...can't remember the name but a healthy bolognese sauce with chopped up peppers. YUM.
...as per usual, a whole lotta water.

Today was a great day and i'm just so... happy.

Note to self: Buy a thesaurus and look up other words for happy!
 
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meganwithaT said:
Then I went grocery shopping with my brother but after around 5 minutes i had to abandon him and get my own basket because most of what he was picking up was definitely not going to help me. So i filled my basket up with lots of good things and no chocolate or sweets and as soon as we got home i emptied out a cupboard in the kitchen and a shelf in the fridge put all my stuff away then promptly threatened everyone in my house that if they even looked at my cupboard/shelf i would... do something mean (yeah, i could've done better but i was on the spot and threats don't come easy to me). Once i was done with my terrifying threats i cooked my dinner and it was healthy and good and fun to make surprisingly. I'm still not too sure on what to eat but hopefully through time i'll work it out.
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This is SUCH a good idea! It's a great plan to have your own cupboard where you can go directly to for your healthy stuff and bypass others containing unhealthy stuff. :)

meganwithaT said:
So today was a little bit messed up, i had no idea what to eat when i woke up so i pretty much didn't, instead i started chopping up some vegetables to make soup for my lunch, i managed to cut myself because i'm awesome like that, thankfully i'll live. Back to the point, i wasn't really feeling like eating and i wasn't hungry so i didn't, then lunchtime came and the soup smelled good so i had a bowl of that with a rye crispbread (that's what it says on the packet anyway) i got full really fast so i stopped eating and carried on with my day.

A few of us randomly decided to go watch Inception, this was my first hurdle i had to overcome, while everyone else bought popcorn, chocolate and lots of sweets to have during it i somehow managed to resist and had a huuuuuge bottle of water and an apple instead. Of course this led to me desperately needed the toilet during the movie but if you've seen it you'll know that if you left even just for a minute you would probably get seriously confused, so i waited...by the time it ended i no longer cared about anything that happened in the movie, i just speed walked to the nearest toilet. PHEW.
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Good job on fighting temptations. What I've done when I've gone to the theater before is buy the kid's size popcorn (and even then only eat about half of it) or ask them for the smallest cup they have and take a portion of a friend's popcorn in it. Also, no butter! That way I can have some but control the amount at the same time. :)

I also wanted to say that, even though you did not feel hungry, be careful about skipping breakfast. They don't call it the most important meal of the day for nothing. :) Skipping breakfast after not having eaten all night can make your body panic hardcore and think you're starving it. I've also read that morning is the prime time of the day for getting protein for muscle maintenance, repair, and building.

meganwithaT said:
I almost forgot...I WORKED OUT TODAY, properly worked out! The past few days i've just been walking a lot but today i decided to up it a little. I did 30 minutes cardio then did a boxing type of exercise that worked on my arms and legs along with some floor exercises. I was practically dead by the end but it was a start. I can't believe i actually did it.

Happy. Happy. Happy. Tired but happy.

Also my friends wanted to go out tonight and i avoided every drop of alcohol and just had water all night so i saved myself a lot of wasted calories and money... did i mention that i was happy. :)

Today was a great day and i'm just so... happy.

Note to self: Buy a thesaurus and look up other words for happy!
Click to expand...

Ah, I'm so happy for you! I know how accomplished and pleased I feel after I work out, so I can imagine how you're feeling. :D I'm really just so pleased on your behalf! :)
 
JanaNanner said:
Good job on fighting temptations. What I've done when I've gone to the theater before is buy the kid's size popcorn (and even then only eat about half of it) or ask them for the smallest cup they have and take a portion of a friend's popcorn in it. Also, no butter! That way I can have some but control the amount at the same time. :)
Click to expand...

Great idea with the cup, i never thought of that thanks! :)

JanaNanner said:
I also wanted to say that, even though you did not feel hungry, be careful about skipping breakfast. They don't call it the most important meal of the day for nothing. :) Skipping breakfast after not having eaten all night can make your body panic hardcore and think you're starving it. I've also read that morning is the prime time of the day for getting protein for muscle maintenance, repair, and building.
Click to expand...

Yeah i know, it's just that sometimes i really can't stand food first thing in the morning but i'm working on it, even if i just have a tiny bowl of cereal or a piece of fruit, it's a start. Maybe one day i'll be the Queen of Breakfast (has a nice ring to it), i guess only time will tell. :D
 
New day and i'm still keeping at it. Woo. :D

I've been at work all day and it has been looooong. We got a new girl today and she is one of those "OMG i'm soooo fat even though i'm actually a twig" girls. I had my fake "you're so interesting" smile on while i was actually thinking 'if she thinks she's fat then what does that make me?', it's not her fault, it's how she feels, it just got to me a little bit BUT i'm doing something about so that's my bright side. So i listened to her life story and nodded in all the right places and mentally calculated how many calories i could burn if i ran away as fast as i could and didn't stop until she couldn't find me. I think i can safely say that if i actually did do that i would be tiny because i just know she would find me (she's got that look about her).

I did some walking today and it was refreshing, helped to clear my mind from most of what she was talking about thankfully.

Anyway i have some things i need to do so i better wrap this up.

B - 2 "rye crispbreads" with a little extra low fat soft cream cheese stuff
L - Leftover lean mince in 'healthy' bolognese sauce with 2 "rye crispbreads"
D - A chicken breast with half a sweet potato, a mix of mushrooms peppers and onion, and some leaves.

as usual a lot of water, all day.

Work again tomorrow... lucky me.
 
I was a busy bee yesterday so i didn't get a chance to update but i'm here now so...

Quick sum up of yesterday so i can let the ranting begin.

B- 1 "rye crispbread" with a little extra low fat soft cream cheese stuff.
S- A probiotic (whatever that means) forest fruits yogurt.
L- 1 "rye crispbread" with a handful of blueberries.
D- Chicken, with sweet potato, mushrooms, red onion and broccoli with some leaves.
Beverages - WATER.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Rant warning... you've been warned.

Today, i met up with one of my cousins for brunch. This was the first time i had eaten out since starting to lose weight again so i was a little bit nervous about what i could have to eat. My cousin is 19 and i'm close to her because she's not too much older than me. Anyway, i told her i was trying to lose weight, hoping that she would help me keep on track today, and she just didn't care, she insisted that "it's only this once, you can let go" which was something i really didn't need to hear. She had mac and cheese with garlic bread and wanted me to have the same "so she wouldn't feel fat"...ironic i know, i knew that would have undone everything i've been working at this week so i said no and she got annoyed at me. I mean what is with that? , I'M TRYING TO CHANGE HERE. So i resisted and had a nice bowl of mushroom soup with a slice of seedy bread, no butter, no croutons just plain soup with a slice of bread, and it was FANTASTIC and i was full after :) i was so proud of myself in that moment because i realized that i can eat out and make good choices. So i was sitting there feeling completely satisfied after my soup and she tells me that she's STILL HUNGRY after that huge portion of 'junk on a plate' that she ate and that she wanted a slice of cake but ONLY if i shared. I was chanting "must resist" in my head and it worked, i said no and she moaned so i got up and went to the bathroom just so i wouldn't have to listen. Imagine my surprise and...horror when i got back to the table to see the biggest slice of chocolate fudge cake WITH ice cream sitting there. I was so angry with her for doing that and i told her so but all she could say was "well i've bought it now we HAVE to eat it". She is supposed to be one of the people that i'm closest with in my life who would help me and i just couldn't believe she was doing that when she knows how i've struggled with my weight for years now. In the end i sat with a glass of water and she ate the. whole. thing.

I wasn't sure if by the end i was feeling more happy and proud of myself, like i should have been , or upset that she acted like that. She screwed up what was supposed to be a great accomplishment for me.

I went home after that and relayed what happened to my brother, we're not exactly the closest of siblings but even he was furious at her and that made me appreciate him a little more because he knows how much i want this and how hard i've been trying this week and acknowledges that i need support and encouragement.

The rest of the day was pretty dull, i went to work then i came home and fed myself.

Brunch - Mushroom soup and a slice of seedy bread
Snack - A "probiotic" yogurt - strawberry
Dinner - Pretty much the same as yesterday: chicken with sweet potato, mushrooms, red onion and mixed peppers.

water. water. water. water. water. water....you get the point.

Let's hope tomorrow will be better than today...
 
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I was at work purdy much all day yesterday and passed out as soon as i got home so i'm awake now and giving the gist of yesterday so i can move on today.

I actually woke up really early for work and had breakfast, i was working with 2 guys all day and when it was time for lunch they were having pizza but i managed to persuade them to get me something, anything else, as long as it wasn't pizza, and they did :) .

Like i said i got home from work cooked, ate then fell asleep so my day really wasn't all that great.

B- 2 "rye crispbreads" with some extra low fat soft cream cheese stuff.
S- An apple
L- 2 wholemeal pittas with chicken
D- Wholewheat pasta with lean mince and a "healthy" pasta sauce
Drink - Water (surprisingly enough)

Anyway that's me done with yesterday, i'll be back later.

Ciao for now.
 
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First weigh in!!!

So I just weighed myself a few seconds ago and.....

I'VE LOST 4LBS :D :D :D :D

i know most of it will be water but still WOOO

:D

(i will actually be back later but i had to say it now) :D
 
Aaaaand i'm back...again, but i'm in a hurry so i'll make this quick.

As i said today was my first weigh in and i'm down to 299... WOOOOHOOO!

I'm feeling a little rough today and i have no idea why... i hope i'm not getting sick, i can't deal with that just now.

Anyway gotta run so...

B- a banana, mango, papaya, pineapple and natural yogurt smoothie
S- grapes
L- 2 "rye crispbreads" with a little extra low fat soft cream cheese stuff (calling in ELF cheese from now on btw, it's too repetitive to type)
S- sweetcorn
D- a chicken breast with a mushroom and red onion omelet kinda thing
...water.

Not overly active today but i'll remedy that tomorrow.

Laters.
 
Change in direction.

So i kinda disappeared the last couple days and i don't even know what i was doing, it's like a blank spot in my mind. Oh well.

Aaaanyhoo, i'm changing strategy in this diary business because i'm pretty much eating the same thing over and over so it's getting a little dull to write about and read about, i'm thinking from now on i'm just gonna write what's on my mind, be it weight related or just life related.

Current issues in my head: University.

I pretty much have to pick where i want to go within the next couple days and i'm stuck between two. One of them has a good name, good rep and my family wants me to choose this one BUT i don't like it, it's not a place i can see myself in, they're a little old fashioned and have traditions and is a little...preppy. The other people look down on and automatically deter you from choosing that place because it's "boring" and doesn't have as good a rep as the other choice BUT i like it, there's such a variety of people there, i don't care that it's in the middle of nowhere and there's not a lot of things to do. I can see myself there. I can see myself fitting in. There's an argument that the first will give me better career opportunities after because of the name but i think i would prefer to enjoy the next 4/5 years of my life rather than look back and regret it because for all i know i'm not going to get a job related to my degree, i've chosen my degree because i like it, not because this is necessarily what i want to do forever.

In my head, the decision is made but in reality i don't want to disappoint my family or make people look down at me for choosing to go for the lesser place.

I'll figure it out eventually, i just needed to write it down because it's tearing me apart.
 
Hey there! I just wanted to congratulate you on your current weight loss!!! I just started on here too, and just hoping to stick with it. One thing that has helped me was an online calorie counter. I am able to figure out exactly what I am eating and be able to spread what I need throughout the day. The one I used is on a site called WebMD, it also has a fitness/activity calculator.

As far as you college search goes, you have to do what is best for you. I am in college right now and have changed my major. My parents did not envision that for me, but what I was doing did not make me happy. It kind of ties in to the story you told with your cousin at the restaurant. From that experience you definitely know what is best for you!
 
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