Even the most spectacular blaze is ignited by a single spark...

Hey Sparked!


Dont feel down about anything! You look great! And all of your stress will be done soon enough!


and I know how you feel about your boyfriend....mine makes me SOOO mad with his weight.....he isnt a small guy (around 230) but the way he eats and how fast he loses weight kills me...like...not exaggerating a SINGLE bit.... we sat down and calorie counted for him one day.....I scanned everything in that he ate (like I do for myself) and in that ONE day, he ate.... 18,000 calories!!!! and no, there isn't a extra "0" in there.... and I have seen him eat a WHOLE lot more on some days, and on some holidays, he easily doubles that!....and not "healthy" calories either, he only eats fried/greasy stuff, and sweets...and only drinks cokes....I have tried to get him to eat healthier, but he wont do it....I swear he is a heart attack waiting to happen......and another thing that isn't right about him...he can go to bed weighing 245, and wake up at 228.... same scale that I use...and my weight only fluctuates a couple tenths of a pound. and he even wears the same thing he went to sleep in......so he can (and has in the past) just cut out his sweets and drank water, and lose 80 lbs in a month...easy....and I can take pictures of the scale if needed be! Doctors have nothing to say about his weight loss, and he passes all his yearly physicals just fine....


So when I tell him that I lost 30 lbs, he laughs and says "I can go to sleep and lose that" and I work REALLY hard to lose it, for months!.... and the thing is, if he skips supper and goes to bed, his nightly weight loss does come close to 30 lbs.....makes me sick...here I go to the gym EVERYDAY for hours, work my butt off...and all he has to do is go to sleep....I wish I could bottle up some of whatever it is that makes his body do that...I would be RICH!
 
AHeya Sexy

I have neglected you :( i'm so sorry.
I am going to be totally honest and say that i couldn't cope with reading your diary, you are always so positive, funny and doing great and i have felt such a bloody heffa (i gained 4lb this week and i had been good all week). I have felt such a failure this week, i have even felt like i am back to my original size. (yeah, i know i am a headcase!) You are so stunningly beautiful and look friggin awesome that it would have just got me down more seeing what a success you are and what a failure i am. Am i making sence? I was just in that kinda head space. Anyway, i feel better today so read thru some diaries and i came across what you said about me....

'I see people like Kate and Lucy and they're so close to their goal and look so crazy beautiful and I am just really ready to be there too! Grr, patience.'

That totally blew me away!!!!!! I sat and stared at that for ages. I really didn't understand how someone could think that of me. I was totally speachless and i am struggling with what to say now!!! You really floored me. I SO don't see myself like that at all. Firstly you are slimmer than me already!! And sweetie you are fucking stunning. You have the most adorable smile and dimples and your hair is to die for. You are 100% beautiful!!!!!AND dont you ever forget that!!!!

I get that reading my whole diary would take you like forever but i want you to go and take a quick look at page 9 and day 51 (posted on 8/22/11) When i started losing weight i aimed to get back into a pair of jeans that i couldn't even get over my bum anymore, i eventually got them on (took a picture) and that post is when i had actually managed to waer them comfotably. Read what i wrote and you will understand why i want you to read it. Oh they are too big to wear now by the way :)

We are all on our own journey ( i feel such a hypocrite for saying this as it is what i have been told too when i was impatient and self loathing) you will get there. I aint there yet and i am struggling still but we are here to help each other.

I am so so sorry for neglecting you i promise to never do it again, you are a total sweetheart :) and i am so touched that you think of me like that. Xxx

I have just had a terrible thought....maybe you wern't talking about me....If you wern't then forget the above and i will just die of utter embarassement :eek:
 
Hey Sparked!! Hope things are getting a bit easier for you and you aren't letting everything get on top of you. Remember it doesn't matter how far you have to go, and whether you've only just started losing weight or you're halfway... it's still daunting if you look at how far you have to go. Really focus on the small goals that make up the bigger picture. You HAVEN'T just started though, you've been at it for a while... step back and see where you've come from and all you've accomplished so far. Enjoy the journey. Every day you are waking up a little smaller than the day before- be proud of that!! Every little bit of you that shrinks adds up. I realised I actually hadn't commented on your photos- there's a HUGE difference and you should be proud of that!!


And sweetheart- you're ALREADY crazy beautiful!! No matter what anyone says, weight does not effect that kind of thing. You have a gorgeous face, an amazing head of hair (um, fully jealous over here) and a personality that completely shines through with every photo you post.


Also... besides the weight and what you see on the scale every day- think of how much healthier you are now! How much fitter, stronger, maybe even more flexible. I'm sure there's a heap of things you can do so much easier now, which I think a lot of people don't realise when they set out to lose weight... you get all of these bonus side effects.


So a big :hug2: from me... and just know that if you are having a hard time being proud of yourself, we all are proud of you!!
 
Hey Sparked, I hope your finals are going well. Mine have been tough. I still have one to go, ugh. Can't wait to hear from from you!:santa:
 
AHeya Rosie :)

Get your sexy bum back here as soon as you can sweetie. Thank you so much for your lovely message, you are a truly wonderful person. I read it while i had my breakfast this morning and then went for my run with a real spring in my step thinking about what you said.

Loads of love and super squishy hugs hun Xxxxx
 
AHeya Sweetheart :)

I hope you had a lovely Christmas and wanted to wish you a Happy New Year!!!! I hope 2012 brings you all the love and happiness in the world. You derserve it, you are such a wonderful person :)

Hurry up and get your sexy butt back, we have some targets to reach in 2012!!! AND....We will bloody do it. I'm here for you all the way.

Lots of love and huggs Xxx
 
Aw I saw your thread had updated and was hoping you'd popped in to say hello... hope you had a lovely Christmas and New Year!! And come back to us soon!!
 
Hey Sparked!


Hope you are doing ok and you have recovered after finals and had some time to relax over the holiday break, we're all thinking of you! :hug2:


Andie xox
 
*sneaks back in, winces with guilt*



Well, hey all!



Oh my goodness, your guys' awesomeness is seriously infinite!! I had no idea all these messages were here, it made me feel sooooo good to read them! Alright, it's been awhile, so I'm just going to get down to business here: first, I've been completely and utterly broke, like guess we can't pay the internet bill if we're gonna make rent this month kinda broke, so I haven't really had the opportunity to post. I didn't have the money to go home for Christmas even, first Christmas without my family totally bummed me out. But, things are starting up again and we're doing much better (whew, thank goodness.) Now for that whole weight issue because that's what I'm here for, right? Yeah, ok let's get to that :p



I have good news and bad news... the good news is: I haven't gained any weight! But the bad news is: I haven't lost any weight :( Now it would be easy to call this a fail, and focus on the month and a half of time that passed by where I made no improvements, but there is something to be positive about here because, actually this is a rather unprecedented event. It used to be that the word “maintenance†was not in my body's vocabulary, if I wasn't losing I was gaining, and so a break from weight loss would be met with frustration about how far I had set myself back. So, in a way, I am proud of myself that even with the holidays, when I finally returned to the scale, it brought up the exact same number as it had at the beginning of December. I was pretty freakin relieved after this, actually, because I definitely approached that sucker with dread thinking that it would be waaaay up!



Trying to lose weight on a super tight budget has been a little tough. I had to trade in all my lean, organic, and low-fat for generic and on-sale. There was a profane amount of ramen in this house, it was a bad scene :p However, that gets to stop today because we are going to Costco to stock up on healthy food! :D



The last few days I have been feeling pretty darn motivated. Friday I forced my bf to go running with me, in the pouring rain even! We got completely soaked but we actually had a lot of fun, even if everyone in their warm, dry cars thought we were totally insane! Usually going running with him means that he is racing 100 feet a head of me while I'm bent in half, holding my knees and gasping for breath at the attempt of trying to keep up with him... ok now take that situation and reverse it, and that's what has been happening on our runs! His skinny butt can not keep up with me, AHAHAHA it feels so good!!! :D We also went on a great (albeit crazy hard!) hike, where I took a ton of pictures.... and I even let my bf take some of me, full body shots even (!!!!!), which I haven't wanted to do in a looooong time, so I'll share them since it is a rare event, although hopefully not for much longer :)







Please forgive my dog's lack of decency in this picture :( but I still thought it was cute









Other motivating factor: I got new clothes for Christmas!! Really nice stuff from all those small-sizes stores. And they totally fit!! (in a breathing-is-for-the-weak kind of way.) Seriously tight, I would post pictures because the stuff is really cute, but it would only leave you with a strange craving for sausage all day, and since this is a weight loss forum, really I should spare you ;) My goal is to have them fit by Valentine's Day, fingers crossed!



I am so happy to post again, I really missed the wonderful people on this forum and I'm just so much more successful with all this great support! Thanks guys for all your kind words, I can't begin to say what it means to me. So sorry to have been away so long, I can't wait to catch up on everyone's diaries :D
 
Woohoo!!!


ROSIE! :hurray: So glad to see you back! :biggrin:


We were all starting to really worry - almost to the point of sending out a search and rescue! hehehe :biggrin:


Sucks about your momentary financial issues. :) Those aren't fun times, for sure. But, I'm glad you're back and stayed neutral with the scale - even with the dreaded Ramen entering into the mix!
smile.gif



It sounds like you're ready to assault that scale now and get back into the arena though! Awesome! We're all still here in the stands waiting to cheer you on! :hurray:


Oh, and it goes without saying that I'm loving the pics! You look fan-freakin-tastic!!! :biggrin:
 
Can't even tell you how EXCITED I am that you're back!!!!!!!!!!!!! :hurray::hurray:


Well done on not gaining over the holidays too, I had one taste of sugar and then suddenly 6 weeks went by of me eating myself into a coma lol... Didn't gain anywhere near as much as I could've but still...Even a few pounds up pisses me off because in those 6 weeks I could have LOST a few pounds. Oh well. I just think of it as time off, no more of that now!!


I hope you did take pics of yourself in the clothes, even just for yourself... Then when you fit into them you can take more and be all "WOW I'm awesome!!" lol.


Love the pics, you look gorgeous!!! Looks like you have a beautiful place there to go hiking too, I'm so jealous!!
 
AJust a quickie cos i am off to work but..............

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

So so pleased you're back sexy girl. I've really missed you. :grouphug:

I'll come back and write properly this evening.

Sending you lots of love and hugs Xxx
 
AHey Rosie :)

You totally made my day today. I was a bit grumpy this morning and your message just totally lifted my mood. It is sooooooo good to have you back :hurray: and that's it now sweetie, you can't leave us again :)

Sorry to hear that life has been pretty shitty for you lately but it's great that things are on the way up :hurray:

The good news/bad news......What bloody bad news?!?! I am at the same point i was the last time you were on here and to be honest, i think most of us are. Christmas has given us all a proper slap round the face but we will get there!! I gained over christmas and have only just managed to lose that (saying that, i was too scared to weigh yesterday after my week of being lazy and eating crap so i've probably gained again) So not gaining is awesome news, don't worry about not losing You have not gained!!! And it's the first time that you have maintained...That is such an achievement, i really worry about being able to maintain, well done sweetie :)

:hurray: :hurray: How cool that you leave your bf in your wake when you guys go running!!! That must be an awesome feeling. And Yay!! You're doing C25K!!

Your photo's are lovely and you look as bloody stunning as ever!!!! And well done you on one, letting your fella take the photos and two, posting them on here!! Good for you sweetie :hurray:
Totally jealous about the tree climbing, i am so gonna have to do that when i am back to full health, the place i run on a sunday morning has a wood, i'm gonna go be a child :)

Really glad to have you back sexy girl lets make 2012 the year we get and stay slim :)
 
Greg – Awwww thanks! I'm so glad to be back, I've missed all this great support so much... and you're totally right about that scale! Good thing scales can't file for restraining orders with as much I'm going to assault it, not to mention the relentless stalking.... ;D



Lucy – Yay! Thank you! I so missed you and your cheery posts! :D

Gaining is definitely frustrating, I have been there so so many times, thinking about how much weight I could have lost in the time I was going off track, but it sounds like you didn't go too crazy, and you're right, now you're all renewed and you can start over hitting it hard again!

I did take pics of me in the clothes, but just couldn't bring myself to share them, guess I'll just have to save them for when I have comparison pics showing how good I look in them ;)

And thank you for the compliment :) That trail is incredible, it's a serious climb, but when you get to the top you can see out over the entire ocean, ok, really it's the bay, but we're gonna call it the ocean because it sounds better!



Kate – Awwww, it makes me so happy that I could brighten your mood! :) And no leaving, I've been warned! ;) I think you're totally right and I'm just going to look at the maintenance as a victory, seeing the same number left me with the feeling like, ok, let's just keep going instead of the oh crap this is hopeless feeling I would usually have after I've set myself back. And for you, judging from what you've been logging on your diary, it looks like you've totally been within maintenance calories, so I don't think you should worry too much about gaining.

And yes, completely awesome feeling to be out-running him! Every time he stops it just motivates me more because I push myself to see how much longer I can run than he does. I have always wanted to define myself as “a runner†so the idea of getting there is exciting! Although I came across this on Pinterest and it's totally me haha!



Oh and if you haven't checked out Pinterest, it's an awesome way to unconsciously lose hours of your life ;)

Thanks for the sweet comments on my pictures :) I used to climb everything I could find before I put on a bunch of weight and it's nice to be doing that again! I sent that pic to my mom and she said she had never been so happy to be so terrified that I was going to fall and break something! lol

You'll definitely have to share the pics when you get to go on your own climbing adventure!

And yes, 2012 is it, let's do it!!!



Alright, I had a suck-ass day and now I'm in a bummed out mood and I'm gonna write about it (do you hear me Kate? This one's for you!! ;) ) Ok, so the entire day didn't suck, so I'll start off with the morning, which was good. Right before finals week at the beginning of December, I totally stopped P90X because I had so much to do, I planned to be only off of it a week, but that week turned into 2 which turned into 4 and here I am P90Xless at the end of January. So today, I started all over, from week one and everything. I found a schedule online that is a hybrid workout of P90X and Insanity which is perfect because the X strength workouts were awesome for me, but the cardio days had become less and less of a challenge (I'm totally laughing to myself now thinking about the time I posted on here about my first P90X cardio workout and how it completely kicked my ass and now I'm calling it too easy, ha!) however, Insanity cardio definitely pushes me. So I made up a whole calendar for the entire 13 weeks with all the workouts and the dates and I put it up on my wall and now I get to cross off a day when I complete it. Now I'm sure this statement ignited no burning excitement in any of you, but little things like this, things where there is a physical act to acknowledge the accomplishment, well, they get me totally amped up! Seriously, you'd think there was chocolate behind each calendar day the way I get exited to cross them off! So today I did P90X Chest and Back and then Insanity Cardio Abs, great workout and I was doing far more pushups than I was when I first started the program, still on my knees of course :p, but give it time! And then after I was done I crossed it off my calendar, complete with a little ooohhh-look-how-proud-of-myself-I-am dance :D

Then it was time to go to work. I got ready, got in my car, started pulling out of the driveway, and then my engine dies. I try and try to turn it over, but nothing happens. No lights had been on, gas was in the tank, it wasn't an easy-fix breakdown, it was the real deal. I had to call into work, so I lost out on hours that I desperately needed, and the whole time I'm trying to fix my car I'm just panicking at how much this is going to cost me. Seriously, just got back on my feet financially, and bam, auto repair fees. Awesome. Thank you universe. So I did everything I could think of, but in the end there was no hope and I had to suck it up and get my car towed to the repair shop. This whole ordeal took the entire day and when I left the shop at 7:15 after dropping off my car, I noticed it was conveniently tucked in between a Taco Bell and an In-n-Out and given the day, I really wanted something full of grease and covered in cheese. But, I realized that it was not going to make my day any better and so I went home. I was also a little upset with my bf because he wasn't really helping me with the car and he didn't come out when the tow guy was there or go with with me to the repair shop. Now, I'm a big girl and I can handle myself around a car, it's not like I need a man to go with me to handle all the big scary car stuff, but I don't know, I was really worrying about everything and had the situation been reversed I would have been right there in a second to offer moral support. So yeah, that's kinda adding to my bummed out-ness, but I haven't said anything to him because, odds are, I was just all sensitive about the car drama and tomorrow I'll realize that it was making me overly sensitive to stuff. So we'll see, I'll talk to him about it if I still think it's an issue after the stress of today blows over.



Wow, that was probably completely boring to read, but I actually feel a lot better having written it! So tomorrow I should get an estimate on my car, at this point I can adjust my freak-out level accordingly, right now I'm just just hoping that it's a valve or something smallish that's not gonna cost me a fortune. And, also for tomorrow, *glances up at exercise calendar that is oh-so-conveniently posted right here on the wall* I have the Insanity Cardio circuit plus my little C25K run with the bf, so should be a good day for exercise... and possibly fiances? Fingers crossed.



Thanks to anyone who read about my super lame day :) I've got to go to bed, so diary catch up will be delayed slightly :( But, until then, I hope everyone is having an awesome week :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top