Erin's Diary

erindawws

erindawws

New member
Ok, so this is really awkward to me, but here goes....

I'm a sophmore in college, just counting the days until the fall quarter starts... I don't remember when I started dieting, but it was in elementary school. My parents were concerned that me and my older sister weren't as healthy as we should be. When I think about it, I don't even remember ever feeling 'skinny'. I remember once looking in the mirror when I was little - all I saw was my new haircut. Anyways, My ultimate goal is to lose about 120 lbs. I know that 2lbs a week is about all that is healthy, so 120 divided by 2 is 60 weeks. AKA 14 months. I really don't want to take that long, but I'm sick and tired of not being able to play with my nieces and nephews because I get too tired.

My parents, since elementary, introduce a new eating plan about every month (I'm living at home going to community college). I would love to just be on my own and be able to make what I want for meals, but it's just hard. We start a new diet, but there's always that ice cream in the freezer that shouldn't go to waste! When I start school at the end of this month I'll be in a weight lifting class, so that'll be good. I also plan on biking or walking every other day.

I guess I'm just frustrated with being under my parents' thumb with everything. They don't want me to go biking or walking alone, but yet again - they don't want to go with me either. Life's just tough all around I guess.

Umm, a plea for advice - Best diet plans? Biking vs. walking? I'm not averse to counting calories, I guess I just never really put my heart into it because it was "my parents' job" whenever we've dieted before. Anyways... Now I'm just rambling.

I intend to start tonight...
Daily Goals:
-Drink a gallon of water a day
-exercise 1/2 hour a day (at least)
-weigh regularly
-start counting calories

Umm... My starting weight is 280. My goal is 160. I know how to count calories, but what would be the best amount to go for? 1200, or 1500... I think I'll go for 1500 to start.

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
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Alrighty.

Day 1 - not bad. Not great, but not bad either. Breakfast was a soy shake and two bran muffins... the bran muffins are homemade so it's calories are anyones best guess, and the soy shake is about 250. Lunch was homemade pizza, grapes and (yes I gave in) an ice cream cone. Dinner - I'm really proud of my dinner. I had a ham sandwich, grapes, a couple chips and a little bit of chocolate. Dinner total was about 250. Not bad, not bad.

I'm surprised that I've mainly avoided snacking. Usually I grab a bag of chips and eat all of the way through it and don't even notice... I haven't quite gotten my gallon of water, but the day's not over...

I'm really new to this calorie counting, but I don't think it'll be that hard... I figured out dinner pretty good... When school starts I'll just have to decide what I'll have for breakfast and figure out the calories before I go to bed, or I won't take the time. I also need to find a couple low calorie snacks for during the day. Being new to calorie counting I kinda need to ration the 1200-1500 calories. If I go about 300 calories per meal that's 900. Then I've got space for a couple snacks about 100 each. That'll leave me enough room for some calculation mistakes during the day. I used to think that those 100 calorie packs were stupid, but now I'm noticing that they might be good to have. If I take 1 of those with me to my classes I can have a snack during the morning between my breakfast and lunch, which will be spaced pretty good come Oct. And then another for between lunch and dinner, then nothing but water after dinner... We'll see how this plan goes. Sounds good to me at the moment.

Well, I'm not proud of the ice cream, but at least it was in the middle of the day when I have a little more time to work it off then if I had eaten it right before bed (like I usually do). And I got in about 20 minutes of exercise. I'm excited to be losing weight... me and my friend are both overweight and are working to give each other encouragement daily.

I guess my biggest problem is how to stay motivated. I want to be thin, but my friend posed the question - Why? Why do I want to lose weight? I want to be able to play with my nieces and nephews without feeling tired. I want to walk through a store and go "I can have my pick of any of the new styles!" I want to be healthy. My mother has high blood pressure, my father is pre-diabetic... AKA if he isn't careful he'll become a full diabetic. I don't want that to happen to me. And I want to be more attractive to guys. They see me and look past me to my skinnier friends...

Anyways, the night it wearing on and I'd better go brush my teeth so that I don't feel tempted to eat/snack before bed.

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
Hi Erin,

I hope you don't mind that I read your diary. If you mind I'm totally sorry :eek:. I just wanted to offer you some support on completing your first day. Way to Go! Don't feel bad about the Icecream, it happens and it's a big part of life.

I count calories and have been doing so for about 2 years now. What helps me most is I keep a calorie diary. I found this really nice pocket journal that I take with me Everywhere. When i eat something I write it down...also when I want icecream or chocolate, I add up my calories and see if it's worth going over for or if I have 'wiggle room" to even indulge. It's helped me tons, so I thought I'd share. Those 100 calore paks are awesome too. :)

I hope you have a Fantastic 2nd day and kudos on the 20 minute exercise! ;)

Keep up the good work! :D

KattWoman
 
Thanks for your feedback KattWoman. I wouldn't have put my diary online if I didn't want it to be read by others! How has the calorie counting worked? I hope it's worked well!!

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
Day 2

So, not as good today as yesterday. Breakfast - soy shake. Ok, this shake is 240 calories and really filling. It's the best thing I've found for breakfast. Then lunch was homemade pizza. I have no idea how many calories! :confused: Oh well. I had 2 pieces of zuchinni bread for snacks, then roastbeef sandwich and nachos for dinner. And an icecream cone with the family. I don't even want to try and figure out how many calories that was... :rolleyes:

While food talk is nice and all... I think I've finally got this exercise thing down. Until school starts I'm gonna do Turbo Jam. My sister has it and it's really fun! Then once I start weight training come Oct. I think I'll alternate between Turbo Jam and Lifting... And that was another 20 minutes today! :rotflmao:

Not too bad of a day, all things considered. Even with the icecream (and probably a lot of calories with the nachos) I think I ate fewer calories than I would have if I wasn't thinking about it. Like, I would have had a couple bran muffins with the shake, and then eaten a bunch of candy in the middle of the day for no reason at all... things like that. Well, on to day 3!

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
Hey Erin! I never thought I could count calories, and then after about the first week, I was totally hooked... Not in a bad way, just, I was seeing results :) Its not so bad, for sure. Anyway, I lost 40lbs with that and exercise, and now I've gained 20 back :(
So Turbojams is fun?? I"ve ALWAYS wanted to try it out... Do you have any mini goals or anything? Mine was no fast food restaraunts or pop, and its been almost two years without either :D
Have a great day today!
 
Day 3

Ok, so my total calorie count was 1610... So not exactly my goal of 1200, but at least it's close to 1500... and still probably a lot less than I would usually eat. The reason for the high calories was that I ate McDonald's for dinner and I just gave in to that number 10 or 7 or whatever that was obviously calling my name! But still not bad. I haven't done my exercise yet, but I'm still hoping to do that in the next hour or so...

Jess, thanks for the encouragement. I've got a couple mini goals - exercise daily and don't eat after 7/7:30. And I really like TurboJam. It's fun and you get to just dance occasionally.

Anyways... my fam is out and I have the house to myself for just a little bit. So I think I'm going to delve into the exercise and maybe scavenge the house with my vaccuum cleaner...

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
Just had to add in that I got my exercise in - 40 minutes worth! I felt so good that I ran upstairs, eager to get my room completely clean. It's almost midnight and my room isn't spotless, but it's as close as it's been in weeks. I'm really thankful for the energy good exercise gives you.

Oh, and I didn't eat anything after 7:30. It's at least 4 hours later, my stomach is going "hey, grab a little ice cream before you go to bed, will ya?" But no... my stomach will have to wait till morning when it can have a nice filling breakfast! Ha. :beerchug: Here's to willpower!

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
Great willpower on giving up ice cream!
Well i have a few things to say about your eating habits.
Also how old are you?
Here is a site that will tell you how many calories you need to lose x amount of weight per week.


Also to track your calories fat... you can use
fitday.com
also if your problem is portion size maybe buy a cheap food scale.
Reading label when calorie counting is very important. You may think a serving of cereal is one bowl but in actuallity according the box its 1 cup-big diffrence!

Okay Its great your getting the excercise in there and trying to watch your calories but you may try to just cut out certain foods like
-Nachos-those are like the worse things created-LOL

-Ice Cream-Maybe you can pick up some frozen yogurt i will save you hundreds of calories and its delicious.

-Chips-If you éliminate them all together its so worth it-they really have no nutrional need plus they are high in calories

Homemade pizza is good because you know whats in it BUT once you put normal cheese on it the calories begins to soar in calories-if your adding other toppings like pepopronni it's really not worth it-but with everything its all about moderation.

Fast food-Also good in moderation, maybe you can try a no fast food for the first month and if you have to eat fast food get a salad or something small like a kids meal-You may think thekids meal may not satisfy you but a kids meal use to be a normal meal years ago!

Also muffins and it goes for most foods even though they are homemade it doesn not make them healthy if they are made with all the same ingredients like eggs- butter or oil they will more than likely not be low in calories.

A recommendation for breakfast would be a cup of tea with oatmeal of some sort of cereal and some fresh fruit if you dont like oatmeal maybe whole grain sandwich with peanut butter-these can be very filling.

As for your friends wondering why you want to lose weight dont even try to explain it-its for you and thats all that matters they are either going to support you of bring you down-

I would alternate between riding and biking to school weather permits it will be so worth it.

Try to stay focused and you will succeed!
 
Day 4

Thanks for the wisdom and encouragement Rimay2k! It's my first week and this calorie counting is still new. And I've yet to tell my family that I'm trying to cut calories... They're kinda "low carb" people... So maybe I'll do that tonight.

I'm 17, and while I'd love to walk to school, I don't think the 10 miles to the community college is exactly what I had in mind! I could do it, of course, but I'm uncomfortable with walking next to a 60 mph highway... maybe later in my weight loss career...

I hear what you're saying about the nachos, icecream, chips and some of the homemade things. It's just hard for me to make my own meals with my mom trying to do everything for me... So maybe I'll just have to assert myself and insist that I make my own meals...

Oh, the frozen yogurt is a great idea! I hadn't even thought of that...

On to the food count for today. I pretty much blew it - I went buffet!:eek: I know, bad, bad decision... well, at least I've still got dinner that I can manage, and breakfast was my shake again, although my mom made it today and I can't guarentee that it was under 300.

OH! BIG QUESTION: Anyone know where I can find fruit/vegi calories? Cuz I'm eating this grape going "it can't have That many calories..." But yet again, I also used to think that when I was eating chocolate! I'll search on Google, but if anyone's found one they like that'd be a great help...

Well, I have dinner and then exercise... or the other way around, not sure yet. So I'll probably write in a little later with triumphs over the big bad monster called dinner!

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
erindawws said:
Thanks for the wisdom and encouragement Rimay2k! It's my first week and this calorie counting is still new. And I've yet to tell my family that I'm trying to cut calories... They're kinda "low carb" people... So maybe I'll do that tonight.

I'm 17, and while I'd love to walk to school, I don't think the 10 miles to the community college is exactly what I had in mind! I could do it, of course, but I'm uncomfortable with walking next to a 60 mph highway... maybe later in my weight loss career...

I hear what you're saying about the nachos, icecream, chips and some of the homemade things. It's just hard for me to make my own meals with my mom trying to do everything for me... So maybe I'll just have to assert myself and insist that I make my own meals...

Oh, the frozen yogurt is a great idea! I hadn't even thought of that...

On to the food count for today. I pretty much blew it - I went buffet!:eek: I know, bad, bad decision... well, at least I've still got dinner that I can manage, and breakfast was my shake again, although my mom made it today and I can't guarentee that it was under 300.

OH! BIG QUESTION: Anyone know where I can find fruit/vegi calories? Cuz I'm eating this grape going "it can't have That many calories..." But yet again, I also used to think that when I was eating chocolate! I'll search on Google, but if anyone's found one they like that'd be a great help...

Well, I have dinner and then exercise... or the other way around, not sure yet. So I'll probably write in a little later with triumphs over the big bad monster called dinner!

This is the dawn of a new me.
Click to expand...

I use
But its an australian site, so the meaurements might be different

Otherwise there is a site called caloriecount, its on google and is pretty accurate.

Oh god I feel your pain about your mum! My mum makes creamy pasta like 5 times a week and ARGH i have to go buy my own stuff, annoying hehe.
 
Thanks for the wisdom and encouragement Rimay2k! It's my first week and this calorie counting is still new. And I've yet to tell my family that I'm trying to cut calories... They're kinda "low carb" people... So maybe I'll do that tonight.

Just let them know your trying to find something that works for you!!!Parent think they know it all anyways so if they dont accept it just try and be picky and cut your servings in half if need be.

I'm 17, and while I'd love to walk to school, I don't think the 10 miles to the community college is exactly what I had in mind! I could do it, of course, but I'm uncomfortable with walking next to a 60 mph highway... maybe later in my weight loss career...
Oh I didnt know it was that far-I wouldnt walk that either-LOL

I hear what you're saying about the nachos, icecream, chips and some of the homemade things. It's just hard for me to make my own meals with my mom trying to do everything for me... So maybe I'll just have to assert myself and insist that I make my own meals...

Definitely a good start if you make your own meals, your definitely old enough and if you ever decide to get a partner in the future it may be a good thing ;)

Oh, the frozen yogurt is a great idea! I hadn't even thought of that...

On to the food count for today. I pretty much blew it - I went buffet!:eek: I know, bad, bad decision... well, at least I've still got dinner that I can manage, and breakfast was my shake again, although my mom made it today and I can't guarentee that it was under 300.
Buffets are not good for me-
But usually if there is lots of veggies then I try to stock up on the good stuff

OH! BIG QUESTION: Anyone know where I can find fruit/vegi calories? Cuz I'm eating this grape going "it can't have That many calories..." But yet again, I also used to think that when I was eating chocolate! I'll search on Google, but if anyone's found one they like that'd be a great help...

The site fitday.com can tell you most calories or calorieking.com I think thats the site-I use fitday to track my excercise and somedays my calorie intake they have most foods and veggies.Plus it has a jornal option and you can track your weight in it and it will show you graphs of your loss according to time it cool plus it helps you to not underestimate calories in food

Well, I have dinner and then exercise... or the other way around, not sure yet. So I'll probably write in a little later with triumphs over the big bad monster called dinner!

If Dinner is bad for you then maybe you can make your main meal lunch and dinner your lightest meal of the day-Here in germany abend brot-which translates to evening bread is common-its usally just bread with cheese, ham or turkey or bread spread.Really light and it really helps you not to overeat.
Personally I have started eating soup for dinner-Its light and filling.
I am sure you will be on the ball in no time.
This is the dawn of a new me.
 
Soul Bearing Time...

Ok, so here it is. Everything. Thanks for all of your encouragement. Right now, at this moment in time, I just need to type my life, if that's alright with the monitors!! So here goes -

My diet was blown this morning from minute 1... I'm 17, I'm a senior in High School and I am enrolled in a program that lets me attend the local community college without paying tuition. Basically I get to go to college and still graduate high school (even though I still have to take a few specific classes...) I've basically cut myself off from the high school drama - it's just easier that way. I don't know how things work in other countries, but in my town - the school is anything but good. We have 4 periods/classes that last 90 minutes each... Ya, talk about overkill. And the teachers are idiots (in my opinion) and any other faculty treat me like they do all the other mindless minions that attend the high school - like I don't have a highly functioning brain. So yesterday they hit me with a required meeting for all seniors at 9 am this morning. I'm like - "ok, I can get off work" (cuz I work for my parents) "No big deal"... well, I get there and I get the run around. "Whatever is written on the board is where you need to go" and then "Well, this isn't your class" etc, etc, till finally I just go up to a teacher I trust and ask them what the heck is going on, and where my class is meeting. So an hour later I walk out of the high school fuming, just sick of all of it. I hadn't had breakfast and I go home, change for work and run down there. My mom always has quaker oatmeal handy so I had one of those...

Then at lunch we had the company luncheon at a buffet and I know I ate too much... Back home for a quick rest, then back to work... Work was a riot! I felt like I couldn't sit down! Not because I was wired but because there was so much I had to do... So, 6 o'clock, family decides that the house is dirty, we'll go out tonight and then clean tomorrow. So dinner was a KFC buffet - lots of chicken! Then back to home. We finished watching part of a TV series together and my dad and I sit down at the piano to practice a piece of music for church on Sunday. Well, my mom notices that my piano chair is kinda broken. We have a nice stool, it just needed to be assembled. So she told my dad that I'd play with him if he'd assemble the stool tomorrow...

Well, we practiced and then he went about putting the stool together. And it's late, we all need to get to bed, but he insists, no matter how much I beg him not to. As per usual, he starts swearing, talking about how my mother always gives him 2 more things to do before he's done with the first project she gave him! (only with a few select words that I don't care to repeat) Now, I love my dad, and he's not abusive (physically or verbally) but he just gets frustrated. So I close my books, turn off the piano lamp and walk halfway up the stairs. I'm sitting there just crying. I don't even really know why, although it probably had to do with the curses that my dad was throwing at the disassembled stool. So I look up at the portraits we have hung on the stairwell, and I study my own. It has a couple pictures of me as a little girl. Then right in that moment, I know why I want to lose weight - I want to be that girl again, so cute, so innocent, so naive (spelling?), so small, so giving, so loving, so hating of evil, so eager to learn...

But I'm still crying. Even now a tear trickles down occasionally. I'm just ready to be that girl again - only with a little more knowledge and a little less hatred for the world.

So there it is. World, meet me. Me - deal with it. So today was a down day. I didn't count a single calorie... but tomorrow is a new day, a better day, a day to repeat every senario and do it better.

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
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Hi Erin...bet cha thought I went MIA huh. lol

Okay so I caught up on everything and here's what I have:

1. Calorie counting has helped me lose 50lbs and also let me see why I didn't lose more. It works if you are equiped with all the right information. Find out your caloric need for your current weight and cut that by 20% and eat that amount untill your weight loss stalls. subtract another 10-12% and so on. 1200 cals is probably too low for your current size AND I tired eating 1200 for a week and could barely function. I eat between 1500-1700 and I still lose. I weigh 156 and losing. I got down to 148 in June eating around 1800 cals. (I got off track in July...thus the weight increase) If you don't eat enough cals you will get adverse effects.

Fitday is a good site but if you keep a written journal like me then it takes too much to find out the info you want. I use Calorie-count.com and just type the food in the search and it gives you a list of items to choose ie. red grapes/ green/ blah blah...but you usually get the exact item in question all the stats.

If you use calorieking just take off the (au) and it will give you the US page.

2. Icecream- I'm not going to tell you not to eat it as I eat it from time to time myself. Eddy's makes a Loaded line and is very low in cals and fat content and it's delicious. Eat a serving and it will satisfy you.
FatFree Sorbet is also a great treat. Low cals and fat free and you get a bigger serving size than with icecream or yogurt.

3. I read your last post and (((hugs))). I am happy that you have realized why you have the goals you do and that growth is very important. You will realize that your weightloss journey will challenge you in so many ways and you'll experience things on a new level. Keep at it. Sometimes we have days were we just need to focus on "me" it's okay.

I am happy for you. You are making progress that some never make in life and thats "self realization." Kudos to you Hun! :hug2:

PS. Check on the calorie thing...I think you should be eating about the same range as me.

Okay I'll end now...

Kattwoman
 
Ok, so it's been a few days... I've been off my diet and off the scale!;) I stepped on this morning and I didn't gain much back, thank goodness. So, I'm going back on my diet right now.

Katt - Thanks for all the advice! I'm still refining my diet and getting used to counting calories. I'm just emotionally unstable - well ok, maybe not emotionally unstable, but definately emotionally confused. I'm going to take the ACT this saturday and I'm kinda nervous. Rolled in with that is work and getting ready for school in 2 weeks, buying books, plus church and on top of that - homecoming of my senior year is in 2 weeks and I don't have an infintesimal chance of being asked... And I've also got this senior project which I have to have decided on by next friday (not two days, but the week after) and I don't know what I want to do. Let's just say I've got a lot on my plate - emotionally and quite literally. When I'm frustrated I start eating...

Oh, and just have to ask if anyone else ever feels/felt this way - when you're hungry at night or between meals you look for a snack but nothing looks good to eat but you feel like you're starving and desperately need food... I feel that way sometimes, less recently, and I just have to get some water, go into my room and cry. I don't know why, i just cry... kinda odd really.

So tomorrow I start cutting down on the calories.

This is the dawn of a new me.
 
Hi!!

You know self healing is all apart of the weight loss process. I can't tell you how many battles I've had. In the end you are the same person...just a bit wiser. Just remeber that this is a lifestyle change and a healing process so baby steps are still steps.

Keep up the positive attitude. How did your calorie counting go today?

Hope all is well!

Katt
 
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